By the way, a quick thing to explain: Tippi’s power
is to be expository. Yeah, that’s all. When you want to ask about something on
the screen, point the Wiimote to it and Tippi will explain what it is. You can
also use that ability to make visible things that are invisible, like doors or platforms. I guess that makes her more interesting than, say, Navi or any other expository fairy out there...
The first level starts off similarly to World 1-1 of
Super Mario Bros., because of course it does. That’s becoming a Mario cliché
all to itself. (Cliché Counter: 22.) Mario progresses with Tippi, defeats a few
Goombas, then sees a door surrounded with blocks; impossible to enter. So Mario
and Tippi go a little further and see Bestovius’s house. They enter, but it
seems empty… Tippi makes a door appear inside the house, and they enter. There, they meet
Bestovius, who teaches Mario how to flip between 2D and 3D. Neat! To do it, you
just have to press A. P.S. That Bestovius is a money-hungry fool. He’ll make
you pay all your cash so you can learn to flip! Thank God you don’t have much this early in the game.
And at first he was asking for 10,000! Is he nuts?
...He probably is, but that’s beside the point.
You can now flip between dimensions at will now, but
be careful; you have a bar that decreases the longer you spend in 3D mode.
Spend too long in 3D and you will lose one HP. Then the bar refills, re-empties slowly again, and you lose another HP. Don't want to lose HP? Flip back to 2D. That’s pretty much it. Also,
yes, I said HP. This is still an RPG, after all. I already described how it
works in Part 1.
So yeah, starting now, every level will contain a
part of the story. It’s like they felt like it was an obligation that every
level contained a bit of the plot. The rest of Level 1-1 lets you try out the
few power-ups in this game, especially the MEGA STAR of awesomeness. To end the
level, just hit the Star Block at the end.
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| WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? |
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| To see this guy's dark side, answer anything but Red. |
Another interesting idea in this game: Each time you
buy something in a shop, you get one purchase point. Rack up purchase points
and you’ll get very good rewards! Yep, you win stuff by buying stuff. Like a
Mario version of Air Miles. So, east of Yold Town another bridge is missing.
Once again, you must ask a guy to put it up for you. This one is wearing green,
and he asks the same question as the red guy asked. If you don’t answer green,
he, too, brutally kicks you out of his house. Fuckwads! They’re both fuckwads! I hate
the kind of person who can’t respect other people’s opinion.
Then again, to some extent, I was kinda like this
before, wasn’t I? …I mean, I wasn’t that bad, was I?
![]() |
| O'Chunks has talent but I don't think that's what you call a... "talent pickup". Toss him, Mario! |
Mario makes his way through this mazelike temple and
solves a few puzzles requiring him to find keys, unlock doors, that sort of stuff.
Near the end, he even has to create a floor to get to a door… by letting
hundreds of spiked balls fall in a pit and then walking on the ones at the top.
At some point, Mario finds his way out… and accidentally awakes the temple’s
spirit. Or something like that. The temple’s spirit, a giant 3D robot shaped
like a dragon, speaks like a computer and scans Mario, identifying it as the
Hero of the legend. Oh, great, I knew that prophecy would just mean trouble!
However, what astounds me is that this robot is Wii Shop-compatible. Thankfully, the
robot actually seems nice, and appears willing to let Mario approach the second
Pure Heart…well, that’s when Dimentio shows up. He screws up the robot’s
program and makes it attack Mario. The ensuing boss fight is pure awesome.
Mario has to get on the giant robot, named Fracktail, and then throw smaller robots
at its antennae. Doesn’t sound awesome? Well, that robot is HUGE!
Eventually, Mario beats Fracktail and gains access to the second Pure Heart. Or rather, Mario moves on to a room where the Pure Heart's other guardian awaits.
She tells the tale of the Purity Heart and
the Dark Prognosticus. She goes off on a long story that puts Mario to sleep,
but we still get the most important part: Thanks to the Prognosticus, her tribe
knew that the end of the world would one day come, so they created the Purity
Heart, meant to stop the Chaos Heart, and divided it in eight pieces. She then
gives the Pure Heart to a half-sleepy Mario. The plumber then returns to
Flipside.
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| This Bleck's castle has five colors: Black, black, black, black and white. He needs an interior decorator. |
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| Oh wait, you can add shades of dark purple. Silly me, I had almost forgotten those. |
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| Well, this guy already seems a lot more likable than Edward. |
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| Sure! I can just pull out a 1-Up Mushroom and... Whaddaya mean they don't exist here??? |
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| An extremely important mechanic that allows you to upgrade the items you buy so that they're more effective, like restoring more HP. That's a GREAT idea! |
Also, by this point, you can control Peach. Tell me
about that, royals who do something for once! Sure, she did help Mario on a
couple adventures, but never to this extent. She can float with her
umbrella, and she can also use it as a shield. Perfect if an enemy above
is causing trouble. Also, she’s necessary to reach the second stone pillar and
put the Pure Heart in it. As a result, the second world is unlocked.
And boy does Peach prove herself useful in this one!
Insurmountable walls that must be flown over, large gaps… can you imagine that?
Hadn’t Peach showed up out of nowhere, Mario would be stuck! Goodbye adventure!
Coincidences that greatly help the hero? Kinda sounds like another cliché,
doesn’t it? CC:25.
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| He'll rise, die, rise again, die, rise again, die, rise again, die. Nothing can kill him. |
Mario and Peach make it through 2-1 and reach 2-2.
Merlon told them to go look for a certain Merlee, who guards the third Pure
Heart. Merlee lives in a big mansion, so big you could get lost in it. Okay,
while I’m discussing this, here’s a bit of advice. If you plan on going one
world at a time, give yourself at least one hour for each world. The levels are
of regular length, but due to the puzzles and the mini-quests, there’s a lot of backtracking, a lot of searching, and a
lot of stuff to look for, both in 2D and in 3D. World 2 is a major example of
this, especially Level 2-3. Also, it’s not Levels, but Chapters. I’m saying
“Levels” for the sake of clarity. This is a video game, what do you think? That
you’re reading? Yeah, right.
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| I think I heard that name before... |
Level 2-3 makes up for it by being horribly long and
boring. When trying to move forward in Merlee’s mansion, Mario breaks a vase.
Mimi arrives and, enraged, asks him to fork over a MILLION Rubees. Oh, but all
he’s got is coins. Therefore, Mimi decides to make him work in the mansion.
Mario – and Peach – thus end up working there. The first job they get is to
punch cubes emitting electricity. You hit them like Mario does when he hit
bricks, that is, by jumping. Every jump earns ONE Rubee. Hey Link, help me out
on this one, hand me some spare Rupees! God, this is gonna take forever. And
look at all the slaves. This is awful. I swear, Mimi, if Mario wasn’t so
reluctant to hit a girl, I would be controlling him to beat you down for
reintroducing slavery to the world! (Have I mentioned I was strongly pro-freedom?) Thankfully, the prisoners often have interesting
tips to help Mario and Peach. Still, in order to get a good tip, Mario has to
collect 100 rubees, which means… hitting the electric block 100 fucking times
in a row. This is, hands-down, the most boring part of the game, possibly the
most boring thing I’ve ever had to do in a Mario game. However, the tip you get
by paying 100 rubees is a code leading to a “VIP room”, where Mario will get a
lot more money… by running in hamster wheels. Think that’s not bad? Even if
you do get money faster this way, it’s still slow, and you need to collect a
staggering TEN THOUSAND rubees to get the next tip. FUCK!
All this work makes me think that I should be looking
for a job, too! This part is so bad that I’d rather work a real job than do
this again!
So, while looking around in 3D Mode, Mario finds
another Pixl. This one’s called Slim, and it allows him to cross to the other
dimension without actually changing the view; as a result, Mario becomes thin
as a sheet of paper and can pass through cracks and other traps that require
him to be, well, fatter, for them to work. So, after Mario gets this new Pixl
and gets the 10,000-rubee code, he can finally go through a trap that prevented
him from crossing a hallway in both 2D and 3D forms. He inputs the code in the numbered
lock of the vault he finds, opens it, and finds… 1,000,000 rubees! Yes! Mario
takes it all, then runs back down to pay off his debt. FINAL-FUCKING-LY.
As you can guess, I’m not too fond of that level. In
the game’s defense, my only real points of criticism so far are the incredibly
cliché story and this stupid level. Everything else is great…
So, Mario goes to Mimi and pays all 1,000,000 rubees.
When Mimi realizes that the debt has been paid entirely, she goes… nuts, she…
starts floating, and then she… explodes. … ... ...Okay... ... ... ... I
guess she got her just desserts. Mario hits the Star Block and moves on to 2-4.
Makes me think that I, too, should pay my debt… See you in Part 3 this Friday.

















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