Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 5)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5

Finishing this today. Bring out the swear jar, I’m gonna need it.

The World That Never Was – Riku (Continued)

Uh oh.

Pretty much every boss in this part of the game has a move
that takes us down to 1 HP. Fuckers.

Riku has found Sora trapped in an energy sphere, sleeping, and being consumed by darkness. Out of Sora’s body forms a cloaked figure with red eyes. This thing, called the Anti Black Coat Nightmare, is a tough boss, and it’s a sign of what I should expect for the rest of the game. We’re almost at the end. That said, my first fight against this guy, and realizing just how difficult it was, encouraged me to go back and train some more. Not a fan of grinding, but I will if I must. I overcame this first challenge, the first of four final bosses.

I hope you haven’t forgotten to level up Riku; it’s only him for all four battles. Who cares about Sora, whom you’ve been playing for literally his own half of the game so far?

How long have these cutscenes been going on? I just want
to mash my Keyblade in his smug face already!

Anti Black Coat disappears, and Riku tries to get through to Sora, the same words heard in the dream. To no avail. Riku hears Terra-Xehanort’s Heartless, Ansem, saying that Sora’s heart belongs to the darkness now. When the villain asks why Riku hasn’t returned to the real world, the teen understands: He’s been in Sora’s dreams the whole time. His shirt bears the mark of a Dream Eater, because he has basically become one. When he saw the hooded figure at the start of the Exam, he subconsciously landed into Sora’s dreams to protect him. Darkness appears under Riku’s feet and he is sucked in.

I watch the playthroughs from other people and realize, if
I was struggling that bad... was it just because I was
underleveled and didn't know? Could be, considering how
often I went back to level-grind between attempts against
all these bosses...

He reappears floating in a void, facing Ansem. The villain tries to get Riku to accept the darkness again, but the teen’s resolve is to fight it and its users. Stage 1 starts in the void, with Riku attacking the boss whenever possible, just waiting on a chance to do a Reality Shift. That move transfers the fight to solid ground, where Dream Eaters can help; Ansem fights using his Guardian, which can shield him from frontal damage (but leaves his back open).

His second phase is worse. Ansem merges with his Guardian, and that’s what we fight. This asshole loves to push you to the far end of the arena, and then load up lasers that hit fast and mini-black holes that you can get sucked into when going in for an attack, leaving you at 1 HP. This guy was, up to that point, the most unpleasant fight I’ve had in that damn game.

Those goddamned lasers. If you aren't already moving fast,
you are getting hit. The only way around is Flowmotion.

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 4)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5

The last few chapters! And we’re starting with the kingdom based on Fantasia!

Symphony of Sorcery – Sora

To think that the "sorcerer" from this short ended up being
one of the most important characters in the entire KH
franchise. That name, though... Yen Sid... Subtle.

Fantasia is a collection of shorts animated over classical music; the way this gets combined into a KH world is by having The Sorcerer’s Apprentice as its core, from which other shorts can be magically accessed. We even get scenes from Mickey’s short remade in 3D! Sora lands in Mickey’s dream of being a great sorcerer manipulating comets; however, he gets kicked out of it by the Spellican, the Nightmare we’ve been chasing. Sora comes out of the dream in Yen Sid’s office… or so it seems. Mickey in the sorcerer’s chair, wearing the sorcerer’s magical hat, and waving around as if casting an endless spell under a trance, says otherwise.

These worlds have dragons now. Or is it T-rexes?

Mickey has been trapped into this predicament by the Spellican. The mouse can only be saved by Sora going into a musical world and picking up a Sound Idea. The place he lands on is based on the short scored with Beethoven’s The Pastoral Symphony. The Reality Shift in these musical worlds triggers a mini-game in which you play along to the music using the touch screen, dragging notes across the screen or tapping them at specific moments.

At this point, enemies are getting annoying. So much of this game is walk forward, beat up a crowd of enemies, repeat. Said enemies have far more HP than before, on top of using more spells and status effects. Nothing quite like being affected by a debuff that prevents special moves right as you’re low on health. Or getting sniped from afar while you’re waiting on said debuff to go away so you can heal.

I can't wait to beat this guy to a pulp. There is just an aura
around this guy, something I know I won't like.

Not much happens on the path to the Sound Idea. However, when Sora reaches it, he encounters the mysterious figure (MF) again. The opponent takes a moment to appreciate the beautiful world they’re in, before adding that he isn’t part of the dreams that are part of the Mark of Mastery. But, that if Sora remains asleep, then their paths will cross soon… After getting the Idea, Sora reappears in the Tower, where his trinket alone isn’t enough to rescue Mickey; but he knows he can trust Riku to do his part. Sure enough, the second Sound Idea appears and undoes the spell. With that achieved, Sora is ready to enter the final cursed spellbook.

Movie Review: Toy Story 5

(Once again, I tried to write this with the fewest spoilers possible, but some may have slipped through – read at your own risk!)

I don’t think we realize just how spoiled we’ve been by Pixar. Even if the company has had its ups and downs, as well as its controversies (looking at you, Lasseter), their output has still been, for the most part, stellar. Roughly three of their films out of four have racked up aggregator scores of 90% of higher. We expect Pixar to be a seal of quality, and as a result we tend to put that studio specifically to an even higher standard than the others. Almost to an obsessive degree; I swear there are people who take delight hearing about the cinematic missteps the studio has had, and knocking them down a peg.

And that’s… not great? I wouldn’t call that a healthy way to look at media, anyway. In the grand scheme of things, Pixar movies usually do things so well that we are often left with mostly minor critiques, aside from the occasional greater problem (and even then, it’s usually in regards to the story). When they release real clunkers, we remember them, because we know just how high their usual level of quality is. I know Toy Story 4 has its detractors, and it does have its issues, especially regarding character development and its conclusion. But it’s still a good movie. It’s not “The worst thing I have ever seen, oh my God!” …If you say that about any Pixar film, go watch The Emoji Movie and then come back. You clearly need some new perspectives. No, go, I insist. Only by suffering through torture do you get to truly enjoy the good in life.

That attitude seemed to permeate the entire existence of Toy Story 5, directed by Andrew Stanton and released to theaters on June 19th, 2026. It began at its first announcement (“Oh great, they’re beating the dead horse again”) and continued through other reveals that soured opinions quickly. “What do you mean, Woody is back with the toys??” Or: “Oh, so it’s Toys vs. Technology? Really?” Which was followed in one of two ways: Either, “What business do Disney and Pixar have to lecture us about tech, especially after Disney’s (now-defunct, thank God) AI deal?” or “They’re gonna say the toys are the only good ones and it’s gonna be 100 minutes of old men yelling at clouds.”

Sigh. All ye of little faith, I say, hypocritically. See, I, too, was fully prepared to have those exact thoughts. Until I remembered Coco, Soul, Elemental, Inside Out 2, Elio and Hoppers.

The story

The gang of toys has been adapting nicely to living with Bonnie (Scarlett Spears), without Woody (Tom Hanks). The little girl has promoted Jessie (Joan Cusack) to sheriff, and the cowgirl has been taking her role as leader of the toys seriously, taking Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) as her second-in-command. Buzz is still in love with Jessie but has been incapable of asking her to officialize this. (Even Bonnie’s wedding-themed playtimes don’t seem to help him with finally spitting it out.)

Bonnie is a very shy kid, and she struggles to make friends with other children in the neighborhood. It doesn’t help that most kids in the area have already fallen to the great threat of… *gasp* Technology! Staying in their houses all day staring at screens! Bonnie’s parents come to a similar conclusion; to make friends, perhaps their daughter needs a tablet of her own. The LilyPad (Greta Lee) arrives in the household shortly afterwards.

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 3)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5

Will my headache continue? We’ll find out soon enough!

The Grid – Sora

New armor? But I don't feel any more protected.

It’s still bizarre to me that KH has worlds inspired by live-action properties like Pirates of the Caribbean… or TRON. I’ve always been wondering: Does it or its sequel, TRON: Legacy, count as video game movies? Or just “computing” movies in general? (Either way, don’t count on me to review TRON: Ares!)

Apparently, the "dream" version is the real Grid. Just an
excuse to justify the actors of TRON: Legacy being here
and not met the first time Sora visited Space Paranoids.

Sora appears in the Grid wearing the armor of a Program. He spots a Recognizer (a large ship) and gives chase. The programs that come out ask him to identify himself, but when they don’t recognize his name, they treat him as a threat and attack. After Sora dispatches them, he runs into a masked program that flees after gathering data about the boy and his Keyblade. Three characters were watching this encounter: Kevin Flynn, his son Sam, and friendly program Quorra. All are depicted with far less cartoony CGI than any others, which is… so weird, next to the spiky-haired, anime-faced Sora. But, for true KH fans, this is nothing new.

The three explain that the program Sora was fighting is named Rinzler; but it is actually Tron, who has been corrupted by CLU, Flynn’s hacking program, who has become the Grid’s dictator. Kevin and Sam are trying to escape to the real world, but Sora believes he must save Tron. Kevin indicates that the only way to do so would be to recover Tron’s source code, which is protected by CLU. Quorra decides to help Sora. We won’t see the Flynns again on this side.

Programs CAN develop hearts, but I doubt CLU could.
Not with his intentions. No Keyblade for you, mister!

Meanwhile, Rinzler warns CLU about Sora’s presence; the dictator is intrigued by the Keyblade…

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 2)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5

Three new worlds to explore! We’d better pick wisely.

I’ll be covering each world all at once, because it’s simpler – but with the option of three different worlds to explore, you can indeed have each character explore a different world, and not see both sides of the plot in one world in one go. As an example, you could have Sora visit The Grid while Riku is on Prankster’s Island. But first…

La Cité des Cloches – Sora

Quasi, this elephant isn't friendly!

I can’t wait to see how Kingdom Hearts is gonna dance around anything tangentially related to Christianity in this world inspired by The Hunchback of Notre-Dame! I have a hunch they’ll play safe and not have Frollo be anywhere as creepy. That moment in the film of him sniffing Esmeralda’s hair makes my skin crawl. As it should!

I didn't know the Feast of Fools involved rhinos!

Sora meets Judge Claude Frollo, who immediately believes the boy to be a “g---y” due to his odd clothing for the area. I know this word has become a slur in recent times, hence the censoring – I’m hinting to it this one time because the word is important to the story of Hunchback, but I’ll avoid it from this point on. Before Frollo can attempt to inflict justice, he is informed by Phoebus that monsters have invaded the square. Sora rushes there to find Quasimodo on the back of a Nightmare elephant, celebrating as if he had been crowned King of the Feast of Fools. Here? Without a crowd? Huh. Esmeralda comes to help Quasi and they flee into the cathedral while Sora deals with the monsters.

Oh, there’s something about Frollo being consumed by his own rage and racism, and getting covered by an aura of darkness, too.

Geez, they've even infiltrated the cathedral!

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 1)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5

For the record, I have been working on this review for a month and a half, so it is entirely coincidental that I am publishing this on the exact week where the proper teaser trailer for Kingdom Hearts IV was released. Hey, timing did its thing again!

It's funny how quickly you get accustomed to the mix of
American animated animal characters with humans that
have a clear anime feel to their designs.

You’ve seen that title, so you know what’s coming. If there’s one thing the Kingdom Hearts franchise is known for, it is its interconnected story told over… oh, with the number of remakes and new games retelling events of past games, I’ve sincerely lost count. This story is harder to untangle than a Gordian knot. Especially if you haven’t been following the franchise closely, or missed an episode or five, which is bound to happen due to its entries being scattered across several consoles! And they’re usually action RPGs, so they tend to be story-heavy.

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance, developed and published by Square Enix, was released for the Nintendo 3DS on July 31st, 2012 in North America. Before this one, the only other KH game I’ve played (and reviewed) is Re:coded on the Nintendo DS. Well, I was glad to see that today’s game is a direct continuation of that one! It is also, according to sources, the last game in the chronology before KH III. Thus, it ties up a few loose ends in preparation. Then again, I’d bet that KH3D creates more unanswered questions on its own; that’s how it goes.

Again: I’m jumping in with very little frame of reference. Everything I know is from Re:coded, and the biggest plot point that game showed was that even non-living entities, like characters made of code, were still capable of becoming real Keyblade wielders, all it took was displaying heart and heroism. That game on the Nintendo DS also went over some of the events of the first Kingdom Hearts game, which helps but still leaves me with large gaps in knowledge. Bear with me, especially if you’re far better acquainted with this franchise than I am.

The Exam

Full disclaimer: Since you might not want low-quality images
for the cutscenes (and there are many of those), I will be
picking these off a playthrough of the 2.8 Final Chapter
Prologue version of the game. Big thanks to
SevuhnElevuhn for the longplay video. Check it out here!

The first scene takes place at a villainous lair, ten years prior. Some guy (named… Braid, I think?) is asking the POV character, whom he calls Xehanort, whether he recovered his memories, or never ever lost them. The POV character summons a dark blade, stabs Braid with it, and says his name is Ansem.

I don't even know if that will make sense after playing this game. For the record, Ansem here is Terra-Xehanort, which is Xehanort, possessing the body of a guy named Terra. This is the first minute and I already had to explain some lore, for Pete’s sake!

Gaming Memories: Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Trouble in Wackyland

Haven't done one of these in a while. I probably could have done one last week. Oh well!

Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Trouble in Wackyland

NES

April 1993 (NA)

I recall mentioning before that when I got my NES, long ago, it was at a garage sale with many games included, at a steal of a price. I have a somewhat decent memory of which games came with it, but some I'm not quite as sure about. Like today's game. Was it part of the package? Did I purchase it later because I recognized those faces on the cartridge? I can't quite remember.

And to their credit, the Tiny Toons are very recognizable. I usually hear more about Animaniacs when it comes to WB's cartoons of that era, but the show is definitely up there in terms of nostalgia. It was just fun to see kid Toons inspired by the more famous, adult Tunes, going through the same slapstick, with personality tweaks. The franchise, of course, had its own video games.

Developed by Konami and released in April 1993 in North America, Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Trouble in Wackyland is set in an amusement park that just opened. Every ride is a stage, and you play a different character in each one of them. Plucky Duck is in the bumper car ride, being attacked by bullies; Hampton is on a train; Babs Bunny is on a dangerous rollercoaster; and Furrball is riding the log flume, while he is being attacked by frogs and birds. Classic parkgoing experience, really.

Each ride costs a number of regular tickets to be entered; in turn, you can collect regular tickets while going through each stage. Clearing a stage grants the team a Golden Ticket; you must collect all four in order to unlock the fifth and final stage, the Funhouse, a creepy castle with gravity-defying features visited by Buster Bunny. Alternately, if you keep failing to collect the Golden Tickets, you can keep playing the stages to collect points then trade them for regular tickets, since collecting 50 tickets also opens the Funhouse.

I have fond memories of this one because, although it was short, it was fairly challenging. There was just enough variety in its gameplay to stay fresh; the bumper cars are a non-platformer level. Other stages have their own quirks, like the roller coaster ride having a mechanic where you can "flip" the platform Babs in on, making her hang from it in order to avoid certain hazards. I do not actually recall beating the final boss, Montana Max, but I do remember beating every other stage at least once and getting there. Itt's enjoyable, it's sweet, and also, the sprites are just so damn cute­.

Movie Review: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

Hmmm... Okay. The sequel to 2023's Super Mario Bros. Movie has come out in theaters. Once again produced by Illumination Studios, this entry expands massively the universe that first got a proper introduction in the previous film. However, for as much as this movie tries to be a continuation, I think its scope reaches too wide, and that hurts it as a result. But! I'm getting ahead of myself.

The Story

The movie opens on Rosalina (Brie Larson), the princess of the cosmos, who takes in her little Lumas for bedtime. However, before she can read them a story, the Comet Observatory they live on is attacked by the Koopa Troop. Despite her best efforts in protecting the Lumas (and showing crazy powerful magic, at that), Rosalina and a lone Luma end up taken away by the attackers.

Meanwhile, Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) have made a name for themselves as plumbers and general problem-solvers across many Kingdoms. One day, while helping in the Desert Kingdom, they find a lone Yoshi (Donald Glover, yes really) that adopts them as friends. The Toads are celebrating the day they found Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), treating it with the same importance as if it were her birthday; and Mario can't seem able to admit that he has feelings for the Princess. The group also kept the miniaturized Bowser (Jack Black), who has taken residence into a mini-castle. The Koopa King tries his best to get along with his captors.

During the celebrations, a rain of Star Bits falls across the Mushroom Kingdom, and a Luma crashes in the mushroom forest. Investigating, Mario and his friends find the poor thing and after recovering, it says that Princess Rosalina is in danger. Without knowledge of what is happening in space, the Bros. first opt not to get involved; but Peach decides to, and leaves to space with Toad (Keegan-Michael Key), using the Luma as a launch star.

Disney Illusion Island

One of my mistakes in 2025 was that I bought too many games. The only solution is to keep clearing the backlog, by going through the quicker ones first. Gotta start somewhere!

Disney Illusion Island, developed by Dlala Studios, was first released on the Nintendo Switch on July 28th, 2023. It was then released to other platforms (PS5, PC, Xbox) on May 30th, 2025. I found the Switch version in the wild, it looked fun, and there I was, with one more game. I’m incorrigible. But hey, it’s Disney and it’s got a cool art style, so why not. The game’s name is a reference to Mickey Mouse’s Castle of Illusion on SEGA systems and its follow-ups. But this time, we can play as Mickey, Minnie, Donald or Goofy – or up to all four at once!

Heroes Wanted

Our game begins as Mickey makes his way to a picnic destination on an island, indicated by a map sent by Minnie. Or so he thinks. After he’s found the spot, he’s joined by Minnie, who says HE sent her a map to this spot. Donald and Goofy, who were also sent maps, show up. All four are puzzled, so they investigate a twinkling sound coming from a nearby area.

Someone wanted all four of them there, but why?
(Thanks to Gamer's Little Playground for the playthrough,
which I am picking my screenshots from.)

Ah yes! Toku, the benevolent quest giver! Disregard the
eye twitch, totally normal benevolent response to annoyance.

They trace the sound to a red bush, and after crossing it they find a large library with an open bookcase. They are greeted by furred creatures known as the Hokuns and their leader, Toku, who welcomes them to the magical world of Monoth. Toku is the one who sent the maps, as he needs their help. Donald is enraged to find out there won’t be a picnic, but the team stays and listens. Toku explains that the three magical tomes of their bookcase have gone missing, stolen by three thieves inhabiting the three biomes of Monoth, and this could endanger their world. The Hokun doesn’t seem to know that the Mickey cartoons are in-universe fictions, in which the group only pretends to be heroes – but Mickey and his friends agree to try and be real heroes for once.

VGFlicks: Free Guy (Part 4)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Guy VS Dude

God damn, that section title alone is making me crack up.

The bridge is built, all the player characters are gone, and Guy will be free to cross the water towards the island of Life Itself. Keys, on his way out of Soonami, activates a program on his laptop that activates livestreaming to every screen that was playing Free City. The whole world will be watching this climax.

Dude, (I can call him that, that's literally his name),
your face doesn't fit your body.

The world, including the game's biggest streamers, are
watching the Reynolds VS Reynolds battle.

Meanwhile, Dude’s upload has completed. He is introduced punching Guy in the face. Dude was the work of Antwan, when he was remaking Blue Shirt Guy so Free City 2 could capitalize on the bank teller’s sudden popularity. The end result is, of course, not Guy at all. A buff bodybuilder (the body of Aaron W. Reed) with a blue shirt tattoo on the left pec, blond hair, and Guy’s face shoved where a face should be. Like a deepfake that doesn’t quite convince. And it looks like Antwan put all his efforts into the looks, because Dude is a complete dummy. His catchphrase is “Catchphrase!” and his speech lines are incomplete. He’s ridiculous and scary at the same time. In short, he fits right in within a movie that stars Ryan Reynolds.

We see plenty of scenes from the game itself. Especially
as the climax is livestreamed to the world. We are, however,
never explained how the game, with nobody playing it, has
camera angles that change so the world can watch properly.

A quick thing I haven’t mentioned yet: Not only are we getting the live-action movie, but anytime we’re watching through a real-life player’s screen, we ARE seeing the same events in CGI, with the same level of detail as we’ve gotten accustomed to with stuff like GTA or Fortnite – these scenes had to be animated too! It’s one of the things we don’t quite think about when watching it, because in the story, these scenes are from a video game – but there had to be a TON of work to make all the players and NPCs look exactly like they do when the inside of the game is shown to us in live-action.

Dude punches Guy away, causing our hero to lose his glasses. However, Buddy comes by to help Guy! But Buddy is suddenly very interested in Dude. And starts playing with the Dude’s pecs, causing the latter to punch Buddy to the ground. He falls next to Guy, and then Dude picks him up again to toss him away, before giving his doppelganger Guy a beating. …Yes, I am using these characters’ silly basic names repeatedly on purpose.

I try to imagine Shawn Levy directing this bit. "Okay Aaron,
you gotta let Lil Rey Howery play with your pecs while he
acts like he has never seen anything like them. For an
uncomfortable twenty seconds. 3... 2..."

Hulk Arm VS Captain America's Shield. Sure, why not.

A key element is that Free City contains tons of nods to other franchises and video games. The hidden signification is that Antwan is incapable of creating something himself, so he takes whatever he can and shoves those things in his games. Who cares if they don’t fit. However, we are never told why all these things are still allowed to appear in the game; is Soonami striking deals with other studios and franchise owners to get the rights to add these things in? I mean, what’s next, a game that has characters from literally everything out there, like KPop Demon Hunters, Regular Show, The Office, Adventure Time, South Park, Harry Potter (AGAIN!!), Danny Phantom, The Simpsons, Scooby-Doo, Gorillaz- I’mma stop the joke there, we all know I’m talking about Fortnite by now. In hindsight, the numerous additions to Fortnite feel like they were predicted by Free Guy and the number of video game references that make their way into the film. Earlier, Guy is seen using a Mega Buster from Mega Man.

VGFlicks: Free Guy (Part 3)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

I’m Not Real??

And he is being told this in the one place where he can see
all the ways in which players are rewarded for mistreating
him. Ouch.

Millie goes to tell Guy everything. She takes him to the multiplayer lounge, which he couldn’t access previously, to explain the artificial nature of this world – and of Guy himself. As an NPC, he’s little more than setpiece decoration, and players are encouraged to mistreat him whenever they can. The weight of the revelation leaves him heartbroken and crushed, and he leaves even after Millie explains about the imminent shutdown of his world.

I guess swimming in that ocean is out of the question, huh.

Not fair! I wanted him to make me laugh, not cry!

Seeking further confirmation, Guy heads off to the beach. He tosses a rock at the ocean and sees it disappears into the out-of-bounds barrier. Failing to get through to any other NPCs, Guy goes to Buddy’s place for a chat. The security guard doesn’t quite grasp the part about not being real, but he says that this moment, where he helps out a friend in a funk, that’s real no matter the circumstances around it. Buddy might be one of the silliest characters, but he’s got all the best moments of emotion in the film.

It is hilarious to me that in this movie, Ryan Reynolds plays
someone who doesn't (or barely) grasp the concept of a
fourth wall.

This helps Guy a lot, and so he enlists Buddy’s help. They sneak into the player safehouse, and get in easily because Buddy is friends with all the security guard NPCs in town. The safehouse’s owner arrives, and Buddy threatens him with his work firearm. The player character, portrayed by Channing Tatum, is ecstatic at meeting Blue Shirt Guy. Tatum is RevenjaminButton, the player followed during the Oners in the intro, and has this lengthy scene as well, so his role is greater than a cameo. The character is played by a streamer who speaks monotonously; the character is more animated than him. Guy easily gets his video just by asking nicely; though he does mention Millie's name in the discussion. The streamer tries to ask for things in return, like having Guy say his stream catchphrase. Or, uh, other awkward stuff.

VGFlicks: Free Guy (Part 2)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Life Itself

Maybe IGN should focus on the game and the development
work instead of inquiring about the relationship status
of the devs.

We get Keys’ backstory with Millie Rusk. Together, they had created the video game Life Itself, which would contain revolutionary AI for its characters – they would learn from each other, grow like people, and branch out to the point where watching them would be almost like watching real humans. Things went awry when they looked for a publisher through which they could sell this “fishbowl game” (a term I have not seen anywhere else, by the way). Soonami Studios took it, but shelved it, claiming it didn’t do well with test audiences. And during interviews about their “revolutionary game”, journalists would pivot to asking whether the two are a couple, which would embarrass them.

This info is given through an old interview airing on Keys’ TV, which was on when he came home. Millie broke in to talk to him. He claims he can’t listen to nor look at her without violating his NDA; but she says that she might be close to finding evidence that their code was stolen by Soonami and used in Free City. She wants him to help, but he needs his job, so he declines.

The shadow of Antwan, Keys' boss and the CEO of Soonami
Studios, looms all over this discussion, and we won't see
him for another 10 more minutes!

Looks beautiful, but what do I do with it aside from watching?

Okay, the concept of a “fishbowl game”. This is one of the small things that kind of bugs me with the idea behind the movie, since so much of the plot hinges on that invented concept. A video game that you can’t interact with sounds… well, I’m gonna be a jerk and agree with Soonami there. If I pick up a video game, it’s to play it. Right? Technically, if it’s just observational, does it even qualify as a game? Because the more I think about it, the more I think that an idea like this would have just needed some tweaks. Some way in which players could impact the NPCs positively. Admittedly, maybe Keys and Millie didn’t have the resources to make something that players could genuinely interact with, using avatars and controls and whatnot; but, had Soonami not decided to go behind their backs, maybe the studio could have whipped up something different.

VGflicks: Free Guy (Part 1)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Moving on to the final VGFlicks review this year, and it’s another big one. I still remember the summer of 2021. The pandemic was still bad, but cinemas had reopened, figuring they could have representations if moviegoers wore masks and practiced safe distancing. Sad times. But! I do remember going to the theater for a few films that summer. One was Space Jam: A New Legacy (reviewed these past two weeks) and another was this one.

Sunglasses are back in style.

We video game fans have been dining well since the early 2010s when it comes to movies about video games, be they adaptations or original stories with the medium as centerstage. It’s not that there weren’t good video game movies before, but they became far more common afterwards. I covered a lot of movies about video games, both good and bad, so I did witness that shift.

Anyway, without playing my hand too early, I guess I could say that Free Guy is one fine example of a movie that really understands the medium of video games and everything around them, all while hiding a science-fiction plot under the guise of a comedy. And with one of Hollywood’s most famous quippers, too. For what it’s worth, I knew this movie was going to do things right just by seeing its advertising – so many posters parodying famous video game franchises, and mimicking quite faithfully the look of those franchises (or their box arts, at least). Seriously – look at these!

Free Guy was directed by Shawn Levy (who would go on to make more movies with Ryan Reynolds), and was filmed in 2019 – though it wasn’t released to theaters until August 13th, 2021. As someone whose first language wasn’t English, let me start with a little observation: This movie’s title is untranslatable. It works on like three levels, but any translations will only be able to go for one of them. Explaining this would spoil things ahead of time, so why not just look at the plot?

Welcome to Free City

See? Super-cool. Totally justified, not psychopathic at all.

The film opens on narration by our protagonist, who presents Free City: An incredible place to live, where “anything is possible”. In this city, those who wear sunglasses are badass heroes and have access to anything they want; they can parachute, they can use gliders, they can get any girl they want, they can steal cars, they can rob banks, they can kill random people. True heroes! …wait, what? Amazing idea, by the way, to present this all within the first shots of the film, two oners that show and tell so much about the setting in such short time.

VGFlicks: Space Jam: A New Legacy (Part 4)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Completely Looney

That's really the best silly face you could make, LeBron?

Thanks to LeBron’s realization, the Tunes are now allowed to use their zany antics on the court. They have a fighting chance now! They make a grand entrance on the playing field. Third quarter, and the tone is set by The Brow getting run over by a train, courtesy of Wile E. Coyote. Elsewhere, Wet-Fire’s liquid form gets absorbed into Gossamer’s fur.

That's not "Gossamer inexplicably with a child's mind" from
the Looney Tunes Show, but I'll take it!

Side-note, I like how Gossamer recently went from just some monster in early WB cartoons to a full member of the gang. The same could almost have been said of Penelope, the poor cat that kept getting chased by Pepe Le Pew, but she was removed because of Pepe’s problematic personality. I get it, maybe the director, Malcolm D. Lee, decided it was wiser not to shake that hornet’s nest. And perhaps trying a different angle for the skunk (like showing him working on bettering himself) would have broken the rhythm of the film, who the Heck knows. Whatever.

😬Today, in "are you SUUURE you want this in your film?"

Even LeBron participates to the shenanigans – well, as much as a live-action human can, anyway. Al-G steals a microphone from Bugs during a trick and, in coaching his team, accidentally drops a rhyme – which triggers a special Hip Hop round. Uh oh. The court changes to a dancefloor with the Tunes dressed in ‘90s rap clothing. Ugh, can’t believe I’m saying that, but… we get a rap battle where Porky drops some bars to make fun of Al-G.

…

…

Good God am I glad that this gif exists. Do I even need to say anything else? This was painful. Were those extra 150 points for style worth it?

VGFlicks: Space Jam: A New Legacy (Part 3)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Countdown to the Game

Several plot threads happen concurrently at this point. Let’s see how they evolve on the way to the match.

Would make sense that Lola would be the second-in-
command, she is the second best player in the team!

Who in the making of this film decided that Granny
needed to be the biggest badass in the cast??

Back on the ship with a full cast, LeBron tries to teach basic basketball to the Tunes. Lola, as a second-in-command due to her knowledge, demonstrates basic shots. Bugs tries to explain to LeBron that Tunes tend to do things differently and disregard rules, but the superstar doesn’t listen.

Practice devolves into toony shenanigans, with Yosemite Sam bringing his guns to a basket fight, Tweety distracting Sylvester with yarn, and the Road Runner swapping balls with bombs. Special mention to Granny doing daredevil tricks. Since when is the elderly lady the most badass of all the Tunes? It’s chaos! Pandemonium! And it leaves LeBron aghast at all the nonsense.

They aren't exactly here for tourism.

In the real world, LeBron’s friend Malik is desperately trying to get Warner Bros. Studios’ security to help him look for the star player and his son, who both disappeared right after the meeting, but the guard he talks to is appalled that LeBron is gone yet unwilling to help. Thankfully, Kamiyah James, their other son Darius, and their daughter Xosha, all show up to lend a hand.

The family walks around the studio to start their search, when Darius receives an invitation from an unknown app, the Warner 3000, announcing a peculiar match: Father VS Son. Following signal of LeBron's phone, they find their way to the servers room, deep underground.

VGFlicks: Space Jam: A New Legacy (Part 2)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Bugs Needs Friends

And the vehicle is Runawous Truckous.

When we left off, LeBron James had just encountered Bugs Bunny on Tune World. The athlete is like a kid, fanboying over meeting his hero. As for Bugs? He has stayed alone for so long that it’s taken a toll on his sanity. He immediately tries to pull LeBron into shenanigans like the Rabbit/Duck Season routine. The bunny has been left to talk at similes of his co-stars. And, well, you can’t pull pranks on pumpkins.

Though it helps that he got turned into one, it’s funny how well LeBron James takes to being a Tune. In comparison, part of the original Space Jam was Michael Jordan figuring out that merely existing in the Looney Tunes’ world gave him toony abilities. Jordan got rolled into a ball, dribbled around, and tossed through the hoop, in one of the freakier scenes for young me (I was a kid when that film came out!) and he still didn’t catch on until seconds before the end of the match. And it took Wayne Knight’s character getting flattened, re-inflated, and then farting the extraneous air around the stadium, for him to understand!

Forget how Bugs can get drunk on carrot juice, I want to
know why LeBron ended up almost disguised as Lucky Luke.

When the basketball player mentions Al-G, he gets the full story: The AI showed up one day and convinced the other Tunes to go live on the other IP planets (IPlanets? I’m gonna call them IPlanets.), where they’d have a wide variety of new experiences. Bugs stayed on Tune World because it’s his home, and the only place where he can be himself. LeBron mentions that he needs to create a basketball team to face off against Al-G; Bugs, of course, points out that a real-life player and a team of toons facing a villainous team in a high-stakes game sounds awfully familiar.

This will require visiting the other IPlanets, so they need a spaceship. Nothing simpler – just declare any parcel of land property of Earth, plant a flag, and Marvin the Martian will come down. Dude just can’t help himself. Bugs and LeBron steal the ship, leaving the Martian stranded.

Quick! Let's Grand Theft Spaceship!