Yay,
microgames!
Anyway,
this is one of the funniest video game series, but also one of the weirdest. It
might not be Rabbids-level of silly, but it can get very close to it.
The WarioWare series has one of the most innovative concepts I've seen
on the side of Nintendo. Sure, after seven games it's lost of its
novelty, but it's still creative enough. It remains fun for a long while.
What
are microgames? It's the WarioWare formula. Each character in the
series is a developer at WarioWare, located in Diamond City. Wario's
the greedy boss, everyone else is either a comic relief, has another
job or is just so bizarre that he/she fits in with the rest of the
gang. Every character creates about twenty microgames, and Wario sells them. The franchise started with WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$!
On the Game Boy Advance. Today's game is the fourth one released in
the franchise. WarioWare Touched! features all the things you
can do with a Nintendo DS. It's very fun to play.
You
are probably wondering how exactly I'll review this game. I mean,
each character has a short storyline with a series of microgames
in-between, and that's all! Well, there's an intro and a conclusion,
so that does give it a bit of a plot, even if it's small. Let's not
waste any time: This thing is not a microgame, so there's a lot to
talk about!
The happy-looking floating fellow wanted you to pick ONLY ONE, Wario. You greedy jerk. |
From
that point on, the plot is pretty much forgotten, as you gain access
to the first stage in the normal play mode. Of course, it's Wario! The evil plumber/biker is pigging
out on chocolate bars when he feels a horrible toothache. He jumps (sky-high) on
his motorbike and heads to the dentist, who makes you cure Wario's
teeth by tapping viruses. Wario thanks Dr. Payne and goes out on his
motorbike. The microgames then begin.
"Me, cavities? As if! I am the one giving the cavities, I don't get them!" ...Wait, that makes no sense... |
First difficulty: Full target. Second: Smaller target. Third: Even smaller target. ...That's diabolical. |
Also,
you'll never unlock all of a stage's microgames on your first time
playing it (as it will end at the boss microgame), so you'll have to
replay them. In this game, there's 21 microgames for each stage
(except the first one, which has 22), counting the boss microgames, for a total of 189. An
impressive amount, huh? I'll come back to that in a bit.
So,
once you beat the boss microgame in Wario's stage, we get to watch an
ending cutscene: Wario stops at a bakery, starts munching on two
pieces of pies... only to feel the same toothache he felt before. He
jumps high, high, high, and away, away... only to crash through Dr.
Payne's ceiling and land on the dentist chair. “I knew you'd be
back!” the dentist says. Okay, that was funny.
You know, Wario, Payne is right: Brushing is a small pirce to pay to be sure you won't need dentures too early. |
Ceeeeeeeeeelebrate good times, COME ON! |
So,
there's five different options on the main screen: “Games”, where
you play each character's stage; “Album”, where you can access
every microgame played so far; “Toy Room”, where you put all the
souvenirs and toys you unlock as you progress in the game; “Options”,
which lets you see the epilogues of each stage, change between
right-handed and left-handed, erase all your data or go back to the
Title Screen; and “Arrange”, which is just... replacing all the
characters on the “Games” and “Album” to the spot they should
have on the screen.
Fun,
isn't it? Anyway, I should also mention that every character in this
game has a theme. Okay, not quite a “theme” in itself, more like
a “way to play”. This game is actually the best one to learn to
use the Nintendo DS and its touch screen, because every character's
microgames are concentrated on a way to use the stylus. Look, Wario's
games only require tapping the screen. Mona's demand that the player
makes quick movement while keeping the stylus on the screen (her
section is even called Cute Cuts). Jimmy's microgames make you rub
somewhere on the screen.
And Number 1 on the charts is... Mona Lisa! Er, Pizza! Yeah, I got it right! |
Next
is Jimmy T.! He lives for dancing! He has gotten five stars on every
song of every Just Dance game! He has beaten every DDR ever made! He spends his evenings dancing at a
night club... with his family! He's got his siblings Jamie and James
T., and his parents, Papa and Mama T.! However, as Jimmy is dancing,
a little bug decides his blue afro would make a cool home, so it
lands on the large mass of hair. You rub the insect off that glorious
haircut, and the family keeps dancing 'till they take out their cell
phones. That's when the microgames start. They all require that you
rub a section or an object on the screen. Once you've beaten the boss
microgame, you see Jimmy and his family walking down the streets. The
same bug comes back into Jimmy's hair to nag him, and it's so itchy
that Jimmy starts doing all sorts of moves. His family naturally
thinks he's still “itching” for more dancing. Hehe.
The Thang family also has a thing for cellphones, apparently. |
So,
what are Kat and Ana the preschooler ninjas doing? Ana was getting
ready for a snack when she realized that her bananas were gone. Her
dog notices some steps, so Ana leaves a note to Kat and hunts down
the robber. Quickly, Kat joins her sister with her hawk... and this
quest makes them go through a bunch of games where you have to draw
on the screen. In all honesty, this doesn't feel much different from
Jimmy T.'s microgames... Anyway, the girls reach their robber and see
that it's an adorable little monkey! They call him Numchuck (by the
way, that's actually written Nunchuk), and then head out to the Hawt
House to dance with the others. Beating this stage the first time
unlocks a mini-game version of their boss microgame, for which you
must beat the high score to earn yet another toy that will be added
to your collection.
Poor Ashley can't get a break. She just wants demons to rule the world, is that too much to ask? |
Next
(and last for today) is Dr. Crygor, the nuttiest professor! He's
created some darn stupid things, and then a few smart ones.
Today, his new machine is amazing: It creates matter out of nothing!
Or rather, it can repair stuff that is missing parts, like a bitten
apple becomes full again... He gets stuck in his machine and after
you've spun the wheel, Crygor's headpiece has been restored! His
stage then begins; during this one, you always have to spin
something. The boss microgame involves spinning a tiny car's steering wheel so that it avoids walls as it rolls away from a giant rampaging baby. No, seriously. With this super invention, Crygor also gained a new
jetpack... thanks to which he goes off to explore space! Without a
helmet. Man, I hope he got a Luma under his suit, then.
After
you beat Dr. Crygor's stage, you unlock James T.! His stage contains
microgames from Kat and Ana's, Ashley and Red's, and Dr. Crygor's
stages. It begins on second difficulty, like his sister. And that's
all I can say for today.
"Laaaaaaaaaaaydeys! I know I'm fat: It just means more of me that you can love!" Joke aside though, he's really trying to be a womanizer. |
These
descriptions should have given you an idea of how weird this series
is; but wait! It will get weirder this Monday, with Part 2 of this
review! Oh yeah, it's gonna be fun. With Wario around, it's always
weird. I mean, no other fighter would have the indecency of using
flatulence as a weapon. So, tune in this Monday, and this review will
continue!
Yuck! |
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