Part 1 can be read here.
Urgh... Screw Valentine's Day. I hate this damn holiday. I really don't like it. It's he constant reminder that I need someone. Damn loneliness. And the way it's over-commercialized... Urgh.
Urgh... Screw Valentine's Day. I hate this damn holiday. I really don't like it. It's he constant reminder that I need someone. Damn loneliness. And the way it's over-commercialized... Urgh.
Oh? You're here? Err...
For the... um... review of... wait... Kirby's... Epic Yarn, right? Oh
yeah, we're Friday. How could I have forgotten... As you probably
guessed, this isn't my happiest day. I'm gonna try not to bring that
up too often. I'm somewhat lucky, there's no romance in the Kirby
series, so I should be fine. It's not like Mario and Peach... Or Link
and Zelda... or Sonic and Amy... or... Felix and Calhoun... Oh wait,
that's not from a video game.
And I said I would
try not to bring that up! ...Okay, I'll do my best. Just follow, and we
should be fine. I should be fine.
So, the last time, Kirby got
sucked into Patch Land while evil wizard Yin Yarn was going around
Dream Land. Kirby met Prince Fluff and the two started going around
Patch Land, defeating bosses and collecting magical pieces of yarn to
sew back together all seven parts of Patch Land. They had been
through Grass Land, Hot Land and Treat Land, now it's Water Land.
What did I say last time?
NOT THAT ONE!
Attack of the giant Blooper knock-off! |
In Dream Land, the yarn
Waddle Dees have invaded King Dedede's castle, and captured all the
normal Waddle Dees. Dedede doesn't oppose much resistance an is
quickly tied up by the impostors. Yin Yarn shows up and sucks King
Dedede inside his magic sock. ...Man, this socks... Yeah, I know, bad
pun, but I'm not feeling for good comedy today!
WHOA! A yarn penguin! |
In Dream Land (see? see?), Yin Yarn's
conquest keeps going, and he has managed to turn most of it into a
new Patch Land. Up aboard the Halberd, Meta Knight notices this and
tries to find who did it. He doesn't have to search for very long,
though; Yin Yarn appears and quickly outmatches him. Which is, I must
say, quite impressive. What's less impressive is that all Yin Yarn
had to do was suck Meta Knight into the sock as well. Now, Yin Yarn
has taken control of all of Dream Land! And of Meta Knight, too!
Even in Patch Land, Mets Knight seems menacing. |
Wait a second, WHAT?
Excuse me, if Fluff had this on him all the time, they could have
used it to bring Kirby back home at the beginning, to get rid of Yin
Yarn quickly! After which he could have come back to help with
putting Patch Land back together! Okay, I'll admit, this part is more
nitpicking, but seriously, you can sense when a plot is tweaked only
because it's a video game. Oh no, wait. The second sock had lost all
its power because Patch Land was broken. So, I guess they really had
to repair it first, huh? But then, how could Yin Yarn travel to Dream
Land if the magic socks were supposedly not working? Damn, I keep
finding plot holes! Okay, so... I guess Kirby and Prince Fluff can
now head to Dream Land, huh?
Yep, they do just that.
Everything has been turned to yarn, fabric and patches! They have to
do something, or Yin Yarn will be too dangerous sewn! Er, soon!
Yin Yarn, Mega form! |
Yin Yarn. Regular Form... |
Buster... |
...And Mara. Look for the others on the Kirby wiki! |
-Zeke will hide in a
level with four of its siblings, and Kirby must find them all.
There's 18 missions like this.
-Beadrix will ask you to
collect a certain number of beads in a part of a level. It has 20
missions for you.
-Carrie will ask Kirby to
carry her (haha, name pun) through a part of a level. That makes 12
more missions.
-Buster demands that you
defeat a certain amount of enemies in a level. Hop, 20 more missions.
-Finally, Mara loves
races and wants Kirby to race with her. Be faster and beat her in a
race through a level, in 30 missions!
For all of those
missions, there's a time limit. So, play wisely. Those missions range
from ridiculously easy to difficult, often a difficulty that might be
too high for a young kid. But those are still pretty fun. Also, that
means there is a HUNDRED missions that you need to complete in order
to beat the game and achieve 100% completion! Oh yeah, while I'm
thinking about that, each time you complete a mission, you unlock a
wallpaper that you can then use in Kirby's apartment. Not a big
reward, but it's still required to finish the game completely.
Is there something else
to add? I don't think... Um... Nope, nothing. Which means I can now
give my verdict.
AWESOME!
All this is made of yarn... |
...and so is all this... |
...not to mention ALL THIS, too! |
And for a while, playing
it and trying to complete it has almost... managed... to make me
forget... about... Goddamn Valentine's Day. Look, I'm sorry, I did my
best, okay? It's just... Loneliness weighs in my heart, like an anvil
falling on a villain's head in some Looney Tunes cartoon. And...
Urgh... I just... Damn. See, I can't even make a sentence correctly
right now.
Okay, pull yourself back
together, Nic. Keep telling yourself. If it's not this year, it's
gonna be next year. You'll just have to try harder. You can be with
someone. Go out, ask to young women your age. Yes. You can do it.
Yes. It's not impossible. Hell no. Leave your shyness at home. You
had to stop being shy to start a blog! You had to ask help from
people to promote your blog. You nagged two forums and two social networks! And now, you're nagging people to draw stuff for your blog's first anniversary! For that, you had to stop being shy! You can do it! I swear, my chances are good. Not all girls
want bad boys, some want gentle, polite guys who will not treat them
like crap! Some girls want good guys! Yes, I can totally do it! Come on,
Nic!
I'm gonna listen to a
couple motivational speeches, while I'm at work, and tonight I'm
freaking going out. Don't expect any message from me.
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