Ever since it came out last year, people just keep on
talking about Smash 4. An awful lot of people are also discussing Amiibos, but
I don’t own a Wii U nor a compatible 3DS, so I don’t care. (Plus, I’m too broke
to collect those figurines.) Still, ever since a voting ballot was opened on
the Smash website, we keep hearing people throwing around their suggestions for
downloadable characters. We’ve seen almost every character out there being
suggested by someone. And since third-party characters aren’t forbidden, the
options are even greater. So, I’m making my own list, 12 characters I’d love to
see as DLC in Smash 4. Are they possible? Do they stand a chance? Will the odds
ever be in their favor? Probably, probably not. It doesn’t really matter, this
is more of a fantasy list than anything else. I don’t care if there is zero way
this is happening. But I’m throwing these suggestions out there.
You’ll find I don’t have a clear order for them; it’s
just suggestions, I didn’t put them in order from which one of them I’d like to
see as DLC the least to the one I want to see the most. It’s just 12 ideas for
characters. Some might seem silly for you, others you might agree with… I tried
not to include too many characters from certain series I particularly like, so
I’d give a chance to other series.
12. Kratos
Admit it, he'd be great. |
Let’s make this perfectly clear: I never played any
game of the God of War series. But I know about Kratos, the powerhouse who
deals with the Gods and their, um… “issues”. And we're talking about big issues here: Zeus screws around on
Earth, Hera wants to kill her son (Zeus’ bastard), Dionysus is always drunk or
high or both, Hades is ashamed that folks like Loki give him a bad image, and
Hermes is probably overworked and depressive. Forget the Disney version, the
real myth is intense. With a group of godly morons like this, no wonder Kratos
turns out to be an insane maniac who tries to solve every problem by punching it,
then attacking it with all of his weapons, then punching it some more. All I’m
saying is that Kratos is a messed-up character who would be a hilarious
addition to Smash 4. I imagine him being very powerful but difficult to master.
I still don’t know this character enough to give him a Final Smash or clear
attacks, but damn it would be funny to see a character like that enter the
Smashverse.
11. Adeleine (from Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards)
A cute painter girl... An art attacker. |
The Kirby fan in me wants more Kirby characters in
Super Smash Bros, but very few characters in the series would A) be physically
capable of showing up in Smash (head, body, arms/hands, feet), B) be stronger than
the average baddie, and C) be good enough to put up a fight. Now, you will say
that Adeleine doesn’t fit my own criteria… but I’m still hoping for her
inclusion. Now, what could she do? She could probably use her paintbrushes as
stabbing weapons, smash other battlers with canvases, summon weak baddies to
attack… and I think an awesome Final Smash would have her covering the entire
arena in toxic paint that causes every other fighter to gradually gain
percentage, until the paint vanishes. That, or she summons monsters like she did
in her boss fight in Kirby 64. It’s not impossible to find a gimmick that works
for this character in Smash. We just need… well, creativity! (For a moment, I
was torn between Adeleine and the Inklings from Splatoon.)
10. Spyro
This grin makes him look a bit... evil. |
Another third-party character, Spyro could be a great
character for Smash 4. Now, I haven’t played a lot of Spyro games, so I don’t
have a lot of pointers on what his moveset could be. Does that stop me? No! Is
there a good reason to put him in the game? Well, it was either him or Crash,
since they were both in the first game I ever reviewed for the site… But I went
with Spyro because Smash could use a few more non-humanoid characters. And
unless I’m mistaken, Spyro isn’t a humanoid, is he? What else could be said
about him… Um… His purple-and-yellow color scheme is pretty, he’s got plenty of
friends thanks to Skylanders… And he has been on Nintendo
consoles… In all honesty, I really want to see him duking it out with the other
Smashers. That’s pretty much all.
9. Mike Jones
BATTER UP! |
No, not a Ness clone, goddammit! That’s the major
critique of StarTropics’ Mike Jones, the all-American hero who saves islands
and the time continuum from alien invaders. He’d be too much like Ness: Yo-yo,
baseball bat, psychic powers. Well, you know what? That never meant he had to
be a clone. My idea of Mike Jones in Smash 4 is that he uses all these things
Ness uses, but differently. He has a surprise move where he can attack with one
of the pick-up weapons he can get in either StarTropics game. He can throw his
psychic attacks… but what becomes interesting is the yo-yo. You know, Island
Yo-yo, Shooting Star, Supernova? Think of Mike as a backwards Lucario. You know
how Lucario hits harder when he’s got a high percentage? Mike is the opposite.
He uses the Supernova, his strongest weapon with best range, when he’s low on
percentage, and as it goes up he loses the Supernova and starts using the
Shooting Star, and when he’s on a high percentage he can only use the Island
Yo-yo. Would that be interesting? Oh, and Mike’s Final Smash? Spike shoes.
…Think I’m kidding? In StarTropics, those things attacked every creature in the
room, regardless of where they were. Pretty cool, huh? Anyone else agrees with
me?
8. Mona
Pretty sure she'd be quite the fighter. |
It’s not the Mario series! It’s the WarioWare series,
there’s a difference! Mona is Wario’s trusted ally and employee in Diamond
City. She’s also possibly his girlfriend, though I have no idea how such an
ugly guy could end up with such a pretty girl. While working at WarioWare, Mona
aligns side-job after side-job like an RPG protagonist does with secondary
quests. She’s been a cashier at an ice cream parlor, a pizza delivery girl, a
pom-pom girl, an archaeologist… Her microgame stages become large adventures
where she can count on all of her allies of the moment, whether it’s to escape
from policemen, Pizza Dinosaur goons, Vanessa, or all of the above. She plays
guitar, she has a scooter, she wears a crazy number of different outfits (by
WarioWare standards; no one else has that many costumes). There’s definitely
something to be done with her. Other WarioWare employees who would be fun to
see join Smash are Jimmy (who’d become a battle dancer), 9-Volt (with countless
references to Nintendo), Kat and Ana (oh wait, they removed the Ice Climbers
exactly for that reason), Young Cricket (a martial arts student!) or Ashl… Ah
dammit, that one’s an Assist Trophy.
7. Agitha
Ladies kick butt with style. |
I know a lot of people would prefer Midna, and to be
honest I’d like to see Midna in Smash 4 too, but I instead went for another
character from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Remember Agitha? The
self-titled “princess of insects”? She was in Hyrule Warriors and she could
summon giant bugs? Come to think of it, my only reason for including her in
this list is because of Hyrule Warriors. Now, plenty of characters have proven
their worth on the battlefield thanks to this game, but Agitha was – and still
is – sort of a joke character for a lot of people. “That girl who likes to
collect bugs? What’s she doing there?” Then you see her at work, and damn,
she’s strong. That’s impressive. I really like when some unexpected characters
turn out to be valuable fighters. Hell, that was pretty much the sole reason
for Jigglypuff to be in the first Smash Bros.! (Remember my first Top 12 list ever.) Just for sheer awesomeness, surprise and randomness, I elect Agitha,
Princess of Insects, as a potential Smash DLC!
6. Knuckles the Echidna
Yeah, yeah, he got buffed for Sonic Boom, but he also got dumber. Not that he wasn't already a bit dumb... but I'd say he's better this way for a potential DLC or Smash 5. |
Okay, I’m kind of cheating here a little, but bear
with me. The Sonic the Hedgehog series should have more than one fighter, and
DLC is the perfect occasion to introduce more of Sonic’s gang into the melee,
the brawl or whatever you want to call these fights now that they’re no longer
named. I picked Knuckles the Echidna purely out of logical reasons;
-Shadow is overrated, plus he was an Assist Trophy
before.
-Tails is more the smart one of the main crew, he
would mostly be using technological tools, and he can fly.
-Amy would be just another girl added to the roster,
and while I have no problem with more girls and women in Smash 4, I think there
might be other characters who deserve it more than she does for the moment. Though, if she did make it into Smash 4 as DLC, I'd rather see her with her Sonic Boom style.
-Eggman? Don’t make me laugh. Ha!
-Everyone else is either not sufficiently known or
not enough of a fighter.
So I picked Knuckles, because he’s described as a
strong knuckleheaded fighter who can accomplish some impressive feats, he can
glide, and there are plenty of ways to make him an interesting fighter. Sure,
every other character could fit here, but… I dunno, I went with Knuckles,
because dammit I wanted at least one Sonic character on the list, alright?
5. Rayman
Kick 'em Teensies into your enemies! ...Hey, it rhymes! |
The limbless hero joining the cast? That would be
pretty great, wouldn’t it? When I picture Rayman in Smash, I just want to see
him using his lack of limbs to its full extent. Imagine that, when he’s
unleashing a charged punch, it doesn’t do more damage, but the fist instead
reaches farther than Rayman would if the punch hadn’t been charged. Other
ideas include kicking Teensies into his enemies (those little annoyers, they deserve it), have a yellow Lum circle
around him… and maybe his Final Smash would have him summon Globox and Barbara
(from Rayman Legends) to help him kick more ass. Or he summons a large bunch of
Lums and they fly across the screen (like Unown in Melee) to block the other
fighters. There are many ways to get this to work; I would have to get more
information on the Rayman series as a whole, but seriously, I’ve got a feeling
Rayman should be in Smash 4. …Hey, he got a trophy; maybe that was
foreshadowing.
4. Black Mage
Badass is the one who can fry the entire enemy party with a single spell. |
Of course, Final Fantasy shows up here. Sure,
everyone wants Cloud or Sephiroth. I’d rather go for a more conventional
character, perhaps a more “classic” character: Black Mage from FF1. With a wide
array of spells, Black Mage proved himself powerful on the battlefield… well,
as long as he had spells to use. When he had to physically fight, with or
without a weapon? What a pity. Still better than Light Mage, but still pretty
damn weak. He has no healing spells, some things he does aren’t quite useful,
but used efficiently he can be lethal. He can wipe out the enemy party if you
equipped the best spells on him. There are many attacks that could be given to
Black Mage, like trying weakly punches, hitting with staves… and the B specials
would be spells from FF1, some with special effects, and percentage of a chance
to afflict a status effect to a fighter. That would be pretty cool.
Oh, and the Final Smash?
NUKE.
No, really. That was a spell. Though if the Japanese
development team refuses to put such a thing in the game, I might understand…
maybe.
3. King K. Rool
That bloodshot eye makes this obese croc even more menacing. |
Yeah… We opened the way for more characters of the
Donkey Kong series with Diddy in Brawl. Now, I think it’s time to add the
crocodile king to the battle. Sure, some could say he belongs to Rare. …To
which I reply, then why is it that K. Rool appears in Mario Super Sluggers? I
mean, Rare was bought by Microsoft, but even then, that doesn’t mean the
characters are now only owned by Rare. OK, changing the subject.
What would be K. Rool’s attacks? Oh, plenty, that’s for sure! I mean, he was
the final boss in all three Donkey Kong Country games for the Super Nintendo.
And I think he was also the villain in the Donkey Kong Land games. And of
course he was in Donkey Kong 64. And he has aliases that can be used as
alternate costumes. Certainly he can use many attacks based on the boss fights
against him. Besides, we need another heavyweight, we need another villain, and
we need another lizard. Still not the Mario series!
2. Ridley
Talking about villainous lizardlike characters… Ridley is near
the top of almost everyone’s list of Smash 4 DLC characters. I can understand
why. Samus is starting to feel kinda lonely in here, being the sole
representing character of the much-beloved Metroid series. (Though, to be fair,
Captain Falcon is also alone in a corner, being the sole F-Zero character.)
Yeah, she was split between armored Samus and Zero Suit Samus for Smash 4… but
it’s still the same character. Ridley could be a valuable addition to the
roster. Now, I don’t know a lot about the Metroid series, but I know everyone’s
asking for him… We did get a good idea of his moveset in Brawl's adventure mode, though obviously he'll be shrunk down for this DLC... and you know what? Since everyone is asking for Ridley, then
I’m intrigued. I want to know what people would give him when it comes to
attacks. I want to know what Ridley could do on the battlefield. Also, since
his size is inconsistent in the Metroid series, what size would he be here?
Would he be big like Bowser, or a bit smaller? What would be his quirks? His taunts? I
seriously want to know, that’s why I want a Ridley DLC: Because, for once in my
life, I join the others in demanding something. And that something is Ridley.
1. Geno
With him, adventure is never doll. He's got no strings on him. |
Closing this list is… a character from the Mario
series. I know, I know, there are way too many Mario characters in Smash at
this point, but dammit, this is one that has been requested since Melee. Geno
is one of Mario’s allies from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. It’s
a toy doll who gained a life of its own when a star spirit possessed it. He
then joined Mario and Mallow on their quest to stop the Smithy Gang, an army
composed of weapon-like monsters. Geno is, without a doubt, a fan favorite from
this game; his high speed stat, his bullet-based special attacks (which he
shoots from his hands or his arms) and his overall cool look and attitude would
make him a great addition to the Smash series. Sole problem; he’s technically
owned by Square-Enix. There might be a few legal loops to go through before we
can see him in Smash 4, but I don’t think the Final Fantasy series’ current
owners would say no to seeing one of their properties in the cash cow franchise
Super Smash Bros. (Hell, they announced the Final Fantasy 7 remake, so maybe they're getting wiser when it comes to business decisions.)
Also, this doll can use the Geno Whirl, which deals
an insane amount of damage (9999, in a game where the final boss has 8000) when timed right and used against normal enemies (or
Exor; yeah, sadly bosses are unaffected). Awesome.
So, that covers pretty much everything I had to say
on this one. Next week… Hm… I’m in the mood to write a very long review.
Something epic, something about games, maybe something about music too… A film
review, possibly. I think I know exactly which one.
NEXT WEEK: SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD!!!!!
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