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June 19, 2015

12 Characters I'd Like To See As Smash 4 DLC

Ever since it came out last year, people just keep on talking about Smash 4. An awful lot of people are also discussing Amiibos, but I don’t own a Wii U nor a compatible 3DS, so I don’t care. (Plus, I’m too broke to collect those figurines.) Still, ever since a voting ballot was opened on the Smash website, we keep hearing people throwing around their suggestions for downloadable characters. We’ve seen almost every character out there being suggested by someone. And since third-party characters aren’t forbidden, the options are even greater. So, I’m making my own list, 12 characters I’d love to see as DLC in Smash 4. Are they possible? Do they stand a chance? Will the odds ever be in their favor? Probably, probably not. It doesn’t really matter, this is more of a fantasy list than anything else. I don’t care if there is zero way this is happening. But I’m throwing these suggestions out there.

You’ll find I don’t have a clear order for them; it’s just suggestions, I didn’t put them in order from which one of them I’d like to see as DLC the least to the one I want to see the most. It’s just 12 ideas for characters. Some might seem silly for you, others you might agree with… I tried not to include too many characters from certain series I particularly like, so I’d give a chance to other series.

12. Kratos
Admit it, he'd be great.
Let’s make this perfectly clear: I never played any game of the God of War series. But I know about Kratos, the powerhouse who deals with the Gods and their, um… “issues”. And we're talking about big issues here: Zeus screws around on Earth, Hera wants to kill her son (Zeus’ bastard), Dionysus is always drunk or high or both, Hades is ashamed that folks like Loki give him a bad image, and Hermes is probably overworked and depressive. Forget the Disney version, the real myth is intense. With a group of godly morons like this, no wonder Kratos turns out to be an insane maniac who tries to solve every problem by punching it, then attacking it with all of his weapons, then punching it some more. All I’m saying is that Kratos is a messed-up character who would be a hilarious addition to Smash 4. I imagine him being very powerful but difficult to master. I still don’t know this character enough to give him a Final Smash or clear attacks, but damn it would be funny to see a character like that enter the Smashverse.

11. Adeleine (from Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards)
A cute painter girl...
An art attacker.
The Kirby fan in me wants more Kirby characters in Super Smash Bros, but very few characters in the series would A) be physically capable of showing up in Smash (head, body, arms/hands, feet), B) be stronger than the average baddie, and C) be good enough to put up a fight. Now, you will say that Adeleine doesn’t fit my own criteria… but I’m still hoping for her inclusion. Now, what could she do? She could probably use her paintbrushes as stabbing weapons, smash other battlers with canvases, summon weak baddies to attack… and I think an awesome Final Smash would have her covering the entire arena in toxic paint that causes every other fighter to gradually gain percentage, until the paint vanishes. That, or she summons monsters like she did in her boss fight in Kirby 64. It’s not impossible to find a gimmick that works for this character in Smash. We just need… well, creativity! (For a moment, I was torn between Adeleine and the Inklings from Splatoon.)

10. Spyro
This grin makes him look a bit... evil.
Another third-party character, Spyro could be a great character for Smash 4. Now, I haven’t played a lot of Spyro games, so I don’t have a lot of pointers on what his moveset could be. Does that stop me? No! Is there a good reason to put him in the game? Well, it was either him or Crash, since they were both in the first game I ever reviewed for the site… But I went with Spyro because Smash could use a few more non-humanoid characters. And unless I’m mistaken, Spyro isn’t a humanoid, is he? What else could be said about him… Um… His purple-and-yellow color scheme is pretty, he’s got plenty of friends thanks to Skylanders… And he has been on Nintendo consoles… In all honesty, I really want to see him duking it out with the other Smashers. That’s pretty much all.

9. Mike Jones
BATTER UP!
No, not a Ness clone, goddammit! That’s the major critique of StarTropicsMike Jones, the all-American hero who saves islands and the time continuum from alien invaders. He’d be too much like Ness: Yo-yo, baseball bat, psychic powers. Well, you know what? That never meant he had to be a clone. My idea of Mike Jones in Smash 4 is that he uses all these things Ness uses, but differently. He has a surprise move where he can attack with one of the pick-up weapons he can get in either StarTropics game. He can throw his psychic attacks… but what becomes interesting is the yo-yo. You know, Island Yo-yo, Shooting Star, Supernova? Think of Mike as a backwards Lucario. You know how Lucario hits harder when he’s got a high percentage? Mike is the opposite. He uses the Supernova, his strongest weapon with best range, when he’s low on percentage, and as it goes up he loses the Supernova and starts using the Shooting Star, and when he’s on a high percentage he can only use the Island Yo-yo. Would that be interesting? Oh, and Mike’s Final Smash? Spike shoes. …Think I’m kidding? In StarTropics, those things attacked every creature in the room, regardless of where they were. Pretty cool, huh? Anyone else agrees with me?

These Spike Shoes are just badass.

8. Mona
Pretty sure she'd be quite the fighter.
It’s not the Mario series! It’s the WarioWare series, there’s a difference! Mona is Wario’s trusted ally and employee in Diamond City. She’s also possibly his girlfriend, though I have no idea how such an ugly guy could end up with such a pretty girl. While working at WarioWare, Mona aligns side-job after side-job like an RPG protagonist does with secondary quests. She’s been a cashier at an ice cream parlor, a pizza delivery girl, a pom-pom girl, an archaeologist… Her microgame stages become large adventures where she can count on all of her allies of the moment, whether it’s to escape from policemen, Pizza Dinosaur goons, Vanessa, or all of the above. She plays guitar, she has a scooter, she wears a crazy number of different outfits (by WarioWare standards; no one else has that many costumes). There’s definitely something to be done with her. Other WarioWare employees who would be fun to see join Smash are Jimmy (who’d become a battle dancer), 9-Volt (with countless references to Nintendo), Kat and Ana (oh wait, they removed the Ice Climbers exactly for that reason), Young Cricket (a martial arts student!) or Ashl… Ah dammit, that one’s an Assist Trophy.

7. Agitha
Ladies kick butt
with style.
I know a lot of people would prefer Midna, and to be honest I’d like to see Midna in Smash 4 too, but I instead went for another character from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Remember Agitha? The self-titled “princess of insects”? She was in Hyrule Warriors and she could summon giant bugs? Come to think of it, my only reason for including her in this list is because of Hyrule Warriors. Now, plenty of characters have proven their worth on the battlefield thanks to this game, but Agitha was – and still is – sort of a joke character for a lot of people. “That girl who likes to collect bugs? What’s she doing there?” Then you see her at work, and damn, she’s strong. That’s impressive. I really like when some unexpected characters turn out to be valuable fighters. Hell, that was pretty much the sole reason for Jigglypuff to be in the first Smash Bros.! (Remember my first Top 12 list ever.) Just for sheer awesomeness, surprise and randomness, I elect Agitha, Princess of Insects, as a potential Smash DLC!

6. Knuckles the Echidna
Yeah, yeah, he got buffed for Sonic Boom,
but he also got dumber. Not that he wasn't
already a bit dumb...  but I'd say he's better
this way for a potential DLC or Smash 5.
Okay, I’m kind of cheating here a little, but bear with me. The Sonic the Hedgehog series should have more than one fighter, and DLC is the perfect occasion to introduce more of Sonic’s gang into the melee, the brawl or whatever you want to call these fights now that they’re no longer named. I picked Knuckles the Echidna purely out of logical reasons;
-Shadow is overrated, plus he was an Assist Trophy before.
-Tails is more the smart one of the main crew, he would mostly be using technological tools, and he can fly.
-Amy would be just another girl added to the roster, and while I have no problem with more girls and women in Smash 4, I think there might be other characters who deserve it more than she does for the moment. Though, if she did make it into Smash 4 as DLC, I'd rather see her with her Sonic Boom style.
-Eggman? Don’t make me laugh. Ha!
-Everyone else is either not sufficiently known or not enough of a fighter.
So I picked Knuckles, because he’s described as a strong knuckleheaded fighter who can accomplish some impressive feats, he can glide, and there are plenty of ways to make him an interesting fighter. Sure, every other character could fit here, but… I dunno, I went with Knuckles, because dammit I wanted at least one Sonic character on the list, alright?

5. Rayman
Kick 'em Teensies into your enemies!
...Hey, it rhymes!
The limbless hero joining the cast? That would be pretty great, wouldn’t it? When I picture Rayman in Smash, I just want to see him using his lack of limbs to its full extent. Imagine that, when he’s unleashing a charged punch, it doesn’t do more damage, but the fist instead reaches farther than Rayman would if the punch hadn’t been charged. Other ideas include kicking Teensies into his enemies (those little annoyers, they deserve it), have a yellow Lum circle around him… and maybe his Final Smash would have him summon Globox and Barbara (from Rayman Legends) to help him kick more ass. Or he summons a large bunch of Lums and they fly across the screen (like Unown in Melee) to block the other fighters. There are many ways to get this to work; I would have to get more information on the Rayman series as a whole, but seriously, I’ve got a feeling Rayman should be in Smash 4. …Hey, he got a trophy; maybe that was foreshadowing.

4. Black Mage
Badass is the one who can fry the entire
enemy party with a single spell.
Of course, Final Fantasy shows up here. Sure, everyone wants Cloud or Sephiroth. I’d rather go for a more conventional character, perhaps a more “classic” character: Black Mage from FF1. With a wide array of spells, Black Mage proved himself powerful on the battlefield… well, as long as he had spells to use. When he had to physically fight, with or without a weapon? What a pity. Still better than Light Mage, but still pretty damn weak. He has no healing spells, some things he does aren’t quite useful, but used efficiently he can be lethal. He can wipe out the enemy party if you equipped the best spells on him. There are many attacks that could be given to Black Mage, like trying weakly punches, hitting with staves… and the B specials would be spells from FF1, some with special effects, and percentage of a chance to afflict a status effect to a fighter. That would be pretty cool.
Oh, and the Final Smash?

NUKE.

No, really. That was a spell. Though if the Japanese development team refuses to put such a thing in the game, I might understand… maybe.

3. King K. Rool
That bloodshot eye makes this obese
croc even more menacing.
Yeah… We opened the way for more characters of the Donkey Kong series with Diddy in Brawl. Now, I think it’s time to add the crocodile king to the battle. Sure, some could say he belongs to Rare. …To which I reply, then why is it that K. Rool appears in Mario Super Sluggers? I mean, Rare was bought by Microsoft, but even then, that doesn’t mean the characters are now only owned by Rare. OK, changing the subject. What would be K. Rool’s attacks? Oh, plenty, that’s for sure! I mean, he was the final boss in all three Donkey Kong Country games for the Super Nintendo. And I think he was also the villain in the Donkey Kong Land games. And of course he was in Donkey Kong 64. And he has aliases that can be used as alternate costumes. Certainly he can use many attacks based on the boss fights against him. Besides, we need another heavyweight, we need another villain, and we need another lizard. Still not the Mario series!

2. Ridley
Talking about villainous lizardlike characters… Ridley is near the top of almost everyone’s list of Smash 4 DLC characters. I can understand why. Samus is starting to feel kinda lonely in here, being the sole representing character of the much-beloved Metroid series. (Though, to be fair, Captain Falcon is also alone in a corner, being the sole F-Zero character.) Yeah, she was split between armored Samus and Zero Suit Samus for Smash 4… but it’s still the same character. Ridley could be a valuable addition to the roster. Now, I don’t know a lot about the Metroid series, but I know everyone’s asking for him… We did get a good idea of his moveset in Brawl's adventure mode, though obviously he'll be shrunk down for this DLC... and you know what? Since everyone is asking for Ridley, then I’m intrigued. I want to know what people would give him when it comes to attacks. I want to know what Ridley could do on the battlefield. Also, since his size is inconsistent in the Metroid series, what size would he be here? Would he be big like Bowser, or a bit smaller? What would be his quirks? His taunts? I seriously want to know, that’s why I want a Ridley DLC: Because, for once in my life, I join the others in demanding something. And that something is Ridley.

1. Geno
With him, adventure is never doll.
He's got no strings on him.
Closing this list is… a character from the Mario series. I know, I know, there are way too many Mario characters in Smash at this point, but dammit, this is one that has been requested since Melee. Geno is one of Mario’s allies from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. It’s a toy doll who gained a life of its own when a star spirit possessed it. He then joined Mario and Mallow on their quest to stop the Smithy Gang, an army composed of weapon-like monsters. Geno is, without a doubt, a fan favorite from this game; his high speed stat, his bullet-based special attacks (which he shoots from his hands or his arms) and his overall cool look and attitude would make him a great addition to the Smash series. Sole problem; he’s technically owned by Square-Enix. There might be a few legal loops to go through before we can see him in Smash 4, but I don’t think the Final Fantasy series’ current owners would say no to seeing one of their properties in the cash cow franchise Super Smash Bros. (Hell, they announced the Final Fantasy 7 remake, so maybe they're getting wiser when it comes to business decisions.)

Also, this doll can use the Geno Whirl, which deals an insane amount of damage (9999, in a game where the final boss has 8000) when timed right and used against normal enemies (or Exor; yeah, sadly bosses are unaffected). Awesome.

Eat my holiness, sucker!

So, that covers pretty much everything I had to say on this one. Next week… Hm… I’m in the mood to write a very long review. Something epic, something about games, maybe something about music too… A film review, possibly. I think I know exactly which one.


NEXT WEEK: SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD!!!!!