Part 1 can be read here.
Welcome back! Are you ready for this week's episode? I'd love to talk about all kinds of stuff in my intro, as I usually do, but this plot is so damn long, I don't have time for that! Let's jump back into the story of Twilight Princess!
Welcome back! Are you ready for this week's episode? I'd love to talk about all kinds of stuff in my intro, as I usually do, but this plot is so damn long, I don't have time for that! Let's jump back into the story of Twilight Princess!
Where were we last
time... Oh yeah, the Arbiter's Grounds. In Gerudo Desert. Link is
hunting for Poe Souls in the dungeon. Right. He finds and defeats
four ghosts that he can see only in wolf form, and accesses the
midway point in the dungeon, where he battles the scary Death Sickle,
a blade controlled by an invisible ghost. Once this monster is
defeated, the Hero of Time gets his hands on... The SPINNER! Awesome!
More dungeon crawling happens after that point, until Link reaches
the Twilit Fossil Stallord, one of the most awesome bosses and one of the best boss fights in the game. It starts off normal enough, with Link having to break the beast's vertebrae with the spinner, but then it takes a turn for the crazy with the second part of the battle, which is just incredible. Watch for yourself.
….Awesomely epic... "Epically" awesome... Wow.
After this, ahem, great
fight, the protagonist and his ally reach the Mirror Chamber, where
the Mirror of Twilight rests. This is the only way to enter the
Twilight Zo-er, Dimension, the original one, not the Hyrule version.
However, it was shattered by... Gan... on... d... dammit!
REALLY? Him again? No.
No, no, no. No-no-no-no-no. NO! NOOOOOOOOO! No way! Nonono! Nah, no,
niet, nada, zilch, screw it! ...Sorry about that outburst. It's just
a pet peeve of mine with the Zelda series, how in many cases,
regardless of the plot, it seems to have happened partly because of
Ganondorf. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it didn't happen that
often. Remember A Link To The Past? Remember Aghanim? No? Well,
that's because he was Ganon's underling. Onox and Veran from the Oracle duo series? In the end, they both worked under Ganon as well. As is the case for Zant
here. This plot twist has lost all originality within the Legend of
Zelda series! Nintendo, drop Ganondorf for a while, give Link new
enemies, that will be better. THIS PLOT HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN
GANONIZED.
Oh, before I continue
with the plot, I have to tell this: Shortly before the Arbiter's
Grounds, Link went to Telma's Bar and met a group of adventurers
who help him in his quest from now on. We never get to know them much, and
as a result they will probably be forgotten. I think Telma is known
more than them, which is kind of pathetic. Yet they are very
important to the plot, as they are the ones to tell Link the location
of the next dungeons.
Of note, the Mirror of
Twilight can only be destroyed by the true sovereign of the Twili,
and as proof that Zant is not the true King of Twilight, he only
broke it in a few pieces. Who's the king of the Twili, then? No time to
answer that, we got mirror shards to find! Time to head to Snowpeak.
There, Link meets with
Yeto, a friendly Yeti who lives in a mansion way too far from where
the hero is. There's a mirror shard in his mansion. How to
go there? By snowboarding down the mountain, of course! ...Well, to be
fair, that's not the most dangerous thing Link has done so far...
Until you realize that there are bottomless pits on the way. Our
protagonist still reaches the mansion, and fins himself in – what
else? Another dungeon! This one is horribly long, because Link has to
constantly go back and forth through the rooms because of the ice. He
can also go speak to Yeta, Yeto's wife – I guess the character
naming department was on vacation that day – and she gives him a
map. She also says that the shard is in their bedroom on the highest
floor... Now that he has broken the ice with the couple, he needs to
break some real ice in the dungeon if he wants to proceed further.
But how?
Link would steel anything from his enemies. |
What's the next stop on
this quest? Time to return to the Sacred Grove, where Link pulled the
Master Sword out of the stone. He goes there, and Skull Kid is still
around to nag him. Gah! I hate that annoying villain! Was he that bad
in Majora's Mask? Eh, whatever. Our hero still defeats Skull Kid and
finds a door in the temple's ruins that was kept standing. He opens it, revealing a link to
the past (Had to do that reference): A portal to the old Temple of
Time!
This temple is VERY
puzzle-oriented, so if that's not your cup of tea... well, tough. You
wouldn't have bought a Legend of Zelda game if you disliked the
puzzle aspect of this adventure game. Oh, but no worries. There's still
a lot of fighting in there, especially against a Darknut as
mini-boss. And gosh, is it one hard fight the first time. There will
be more of those guys later on... Hurray. Also, what does Link win
after this fight? The... Dominion Rod. One of the worst tools in this
game, in my honest opinion. Its main purpose is to control certain
types of statues so that they will be placed over, say, pressure pads
and switches. Yes, it's impossible to beat this dungeon without it
(duh), but outside of this dungeon, its uses are very limited. Most
of the time, it will let you access a Piece of Heart or a platform
with a Poe Soul. Secondary quests, gotta love 'em.
The only Zelda creature that freaks me out more is the Chus. ...Don't ask. The less you know the better. |
So... yeah, this is the
only time the Dominion Rod is actually used for fighting purposes. To
my knowledge, anyway. Upon defeating Armogohma, Link gains a mirror
shard. Two gained, one more to go. Link goes to Kakariko Village, as
one of the adventurers, named Renado, is looking for information
about the Oocca, the birds with human faces that still creep me out.
Among other things, Link tries to help Ilia regain her memory (I
forgot to mention that? Silly me), visits a hidden village and gets a
Sky Book, which he has to fill up by finding owl statues scattered
around Hyrule. Complicated yet? Well, be happy, it's almost over.
Link accesses a cannon that will launch him in the City in the Skies,
ancient land of the Oocca species (Urgh, there's MORE of them? Yuck). He
needs Midna to transport it to Lake Hylia, where a minor character
will activate it for Link to reach the next dungeon.
Also of note is a horrible
glitch in this game, that was triggered if you saved and quit and
returned while you were in the cannon's room. This has enraged a lot
of gamers, and so the issue was fixed in re-releases. As much as I
hate to admit it, errors can happen. Some glitches cannot be found
and corrected easily. Some players actually look for them. But
seriously, trying to trigger this one is a bad idea, because if you
get stuck, you'll have to start over the entire adventure. I wouldn't
wish that to my worst enemy.
"WHAT? No, you didn't do that! I was so far into the game! I'm gonna kill you even if it's the last thing I do!" |
(Good thing later versions patched this problem.)
Link FINALLY gets to the
City in the Skies, where he'll find the last mirror shard. Huh, only
three? This game has (Three Fused Shadow pieces + Arbiter's Grounds +
Three mirror shard pieces + Twilight Realm + Hyrule Castle) nine
dungeons? Huh, that's good I guess. It's not the most, but I'm sure
it's not the least number of dungeons in all the Legend of Zelda
games. The City in the Skies plays a lot with heights and bottomless
pits, so the Clawshot is Link's best friend around here. Say, do you
know what that dungeon reminds me of?
Yeah, the picture on that
card. Talking about cards, I think a review of a card game is coming
soon...
Like a freaking Hylian BOSS. |
However, the Double
Clawshot's awesomeness stands out during the boss fight on top of the
City in the Sky, against the Twilit Dragon Argorok. Seriously, this
is another boss battle you must see. Here it is, in all its flavors
of epic.
For the sake of writing
it, here's what happens. First Link forces Argorok down to chip off
its armor, which is a long and dangerous task. However, once this is
done, the dragon takes off, away from Link. Guess what? Our hero
FREAKING CHASES AFTER HIM, in the air, in order to attack him up
there. That takes guts. This required a brass pair.
Unless the Clawshots are
made of another material, like steel or iron... but I guess brass
isn't half bad.
So, after this...
more-than-awesome fight, Link goes back down and gets the third and
final mirror shard. He can now go back to the Arbiter's Grounds and
put them back together, which will let him enter the Twilight Realm
and dethrone Zant!
And for once, there's
pretty much nothing to do between those two dungeons, so there's no
waste of time for Link! As a result, the hero puts the mirror shards
together and a portal opens to the Twilight Zo-Dammit! I keep making
that mistake! It's Twilight REALM!
Can you be a little darker? Yes? Thanks. I was sarcastic, BTW. |
One enemy stands on the
protagonist's way to both spheres: A mini-boss called Phantom Zant,
whose main schtick is summoning monsters and warping around the room.
Two characteristics we see on lots of other bosses in the world of
gaming. Separately, they're nothing new, together they still aren't.
Oh well. The boss isn't too hard, as long as the enemies are defeated
quickly and Phantom Zant is hit with great force.
Once both spheres are
brought to the beginning of the dungeon, Link powers up his Master
Sword with the power of light, effectively turning it into the Light
Sword... Also, bad news. In this dungeon, you'll notice a lot of
humanoid creepy creatures that are standing around. Those are the
Twili. They look like Slender Man's creations if he wanted more of
himself walking around. But unlike the creepy tall man, the Twili are
not going to hurt Link, unless they're transformed into monsters.
Also, Midna adds that in many cases, the Twilight monsters Link has
fought in ambushes were members of this people. Oh... Wow, really
pushing the darkness in this game, huh?
The rest of the dungeon
is nothing special. Link battles shadow monsters, Twili transformed
into monsters. No. the real kicker is the boss. Zant. Up to that
point, he seemed like the stoic, bold type who would shrug off a
nuclear bomb and still go back to attacking you. His helmet gave him
some sort of impressive look. His appearance could instill fear in
his opponents. As such, seeing the real him is... deceiving.
What he looked like until now... |
No, really. Zant uses
numerous techniques used by previous bosses, proving how much he
relies on other people's ideas for his own schemes. Guess that
explains why he needed Ganondorf for his plan; he was unable to do
one by himself. Guess what Zant does? He teleports himself and Link
to different boss rooms seen through the game. And on each arena, his
tactic changes. Each time, Link has to use a different set of tools
against him. Just to tell you the list of tools you must use against
him during this fight: The Gale Boomerang, the Iron Boots, the Zora
Armor, the Clawshot, the Ball and Chain, and finally the Light Sword.
All that in a single fight. And he's not even the last boss!
And what he looks like during the battle. Admit it, your mental image of him has just been shattered. |
Through the battle, Zant
shows behavior that would be expected of more... um... comedic
villains. When he's hurt, he seems to suffer some kind of funny pain,
as he'll gesticulate and make other “funny” movements. He's still
dangerous, that's clear. But somehow, it seems like his madness
brought him down from epic Twilight villain to just a raving lunatic.
Seriously, if he wanted
Twilight to reign on Hyrule, I could just have bought him the DVD box
set. Or the entire book series.
Yeah yeah, obvious joke,
but I've been itching to make another one all the way through. You
can't blame me for that.
Anyway... After the
battle, Zant still isn't ready to admit defeat, but his madness is
cut short by Ganondorf, who, without even appearing near him,
literally snaps the guy's neck. Yeah, nothing more. Wow, looks like
villains' necks aren't very strong after all. Zant, then Zod... It's either weak necks or villains with names starting in Z just aren't lucky. At least, this scene from Twilight Princess didn't cause as much debate as did the scene in Man of Steel... Link
reappears at the beginning of the Twilight dungeon and leaves that
realm.
Only one enemy left:
Ganon-freaking-dorf.
"I'll be waiting... for you to accomplish all the side-quests. Before you come to find me in Hyrule Castle." |
To be concluded next
week!
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