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February 9, 2015

RABBIDS MONTH: Bottom 12 / Top 12 Minigames In Rayman Raving Rabbids

Rayman Raving Rabbids - Bottom 12 / Top 12 Minigames
Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 DS - Bottom 12 / Top 12 Minigames
Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 Wii - Bottom 12 / Top 12 Minigames
Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party - Bottom 12 - Top 13 Minigames

Following my LONG review of Rayman Raving Rabbids, I decided a review of a game about minigames couldn't be complete without me listing my favorite and least favorite minigames. RRR1 has no less than 75 minigames, which is quite impressive. Sure, 15 of those are music minigames, 12 are shoot'em-ups, and plenty of minigames have more than one version, but it's still a large number. Since this is the Rabbids we're talking about, I at least expect the minigames to be funny, crazy or creative. But mostly funny. There's a lot to look at, so let's not waste any time! Let's start off with the minigames I hated.


12. Bunnies Like To Stuff Themselves (2)
A bunny with a chef hat is waiting for his meal. Draw it for him with the Wii remote! On the menu today: Sausages, bananas, sandwiches, bells, bricks and other stuff that may or may not be edible! This minigame is hard because you can't be very precise. It's not easy to follow the outlines too well, unless you are insanely precise. Oh, by the way, in RRR, many minigames have sequels in which (usually) a new layer of difficulty is added to the original minigame. For this one's sequel? The item's outline flashes, disappearing and reappearing, making it even harder to be precise when drawing the line. A difficult, unimaginative minigame. Meh.

11. Bunnies have A Poor Grasp Of Anatomy
It takes a special kind of bad to suck that much at this one.
A wooden Rabbid with separate pieces for the ears, eyes, mouth and arms spins. Then the place goes completely dark except for the pieces, and you have to place them one at a time, in the correct location and angle... IN THE DARK. OooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOoooh! The result? Misplaced members. That's it. I really don't get the joke, if there's one in there. Plus, this minigame is annoyingly hard, and even in the Story Mode (where the target score for each minigame are much lower so you can beat them more easily), this game is a pain in the ass. ...It's not even funny! It's barely fun! Entertaining? Nope! Skip it.

10. Bunnies Have No Memory (2)
Cool name for a band: Plungerface and the Beach Wabbids.
And for sucking at this minigame, apparently neither do I. Four Rabbids on the beach. They sing in a sequence and you repeat it by clicking the Rabbids in the same order. Simple? This bajillionth video game rendition of Simon Says can go on forever. You get one point for each note you get right. To reach 1,000 points, you need 400 points. And after a while, the sequence is just too long. Oh, by the way, this has a sequel in which a fifth Rabbid (Serguei the Rabbidhulk, to be precise) joins the fun. I've seen SO MANY of those mimics of Simon Says that I'm positively fed up with them. Developers everywhere, just stop doing this as a minigame. We're tired of the old Simon Says. Come back with Simon Says once you find a new, imaginative version to do that classic game.

9. Bunnies Are Heartless With Pigs (2)
Before you know it, a Rabbid will come out and attack.
Because the Rabbids are big jerks, I guess.
I hate this game because it's, more often than not, impossible. As in, literally impossible, and the only way to beat it is to try again... and again... and again... until the odds are nice enough to be in your favor. You have to bring a baby pig to his mother, passing on the lines of a 3X3 grid. But Rabbids are hidden in some of the squares. The pig will squeal to tell you where the Rabbids are... and you must avoid them. The problem? The Rabbids' locations are always randomized, frequently resulting in a grid where you can't reach the mother at all, due to the Rabbid obstacles. For this reason, I hate this minigame and its sequel. Yeah, they felt the need to put us through this torture twice. Thanks a bunch!

8. Bunnies Don't Sleep Well
GHOSTS! Quick, call Luigi!
A Rabbid is sleeping. In his head, ghastly nightmares and a little bunny avatar. You grab the bunny avatar, and then you have to move around the area without touching the borders or getting hit by the ghosts, which move faster and faster by the second. One of the few minigames that can be played by all players at the same time, in 1Player mode it ends as soon as you touch something. Its an annoying minigame due to how hard it is, and it's also a tad unimaginative. Can't we have the Rabbid waking up, screaming, and then hitting a cactus? That would at least be funny. But it's not there. This minigame isn't funny at all...

7. Bunnies Never Close Doors (2)
Do Rabbids even... ... ...I don't want to know.
A minigame where Rabbids, in cabinet stalls on the beach, are trying to do their dirty business... but the doors keep opening, because they never learned to lock doors. So you must close the doors again by hovering the cursor over them (the Rabbid or the door; that's never made clear) and shaking the Nunchuk to slam it. This minigame could be funny, but I always hated it because there's a problem with the leftmost and rightmost stalls; when the door is fully open, you're often incapable of closing it, leading the Rabbid to plunger your face. This is usually what causes my loss. Oh, also, there's a sequel where Rabbids pass by in front of the stalls, as obstacles, and must not be slapped, or else you lose. And the edge stalls still have the same damn problem. Let that be a lesson to all developers out there: Test your goddarned games before releasing them!

6. Bunnies Are A-Mazing
Another boring minigame where you and three friends can play at the same time. Simple. Grab the bunny avatar and move it through a maze. Hitting walls causes the cursor to drop the bunny avatar, and you have to pick it up again to move forward. Yet another minigame with little to no comedic value, with crazy requirements (it's hard even when you're good, so imagine trying to beat the best time!) It's also pretty ugly and basic. When I think Raving Rabbids, I expect better.

5. Bunnies Can't Play Soccer
He shoots... Barranco... and he scores!
You run with Rayman by swinging quickly the Wii remote and Nunchuk one after the other, then kicking poor lil' Professor Barranco (remember the bandaged Rabbid?), and then directing Barranco's flight so that it goes in the net... which is guarded by a large Rabbid. Not Serguei. The closer Barranco is to the net's corner, the more points you get. That minigame would be fine, if the large Rabbid wasn't so goddarned annoying, always blocking the way. What's more, the Rabbid isn't easy to bypass... and to get a high score, you need to be able to toss Barranco in the net three times... easier said than done. Look, it's funny, creative and challenging, but I just hate that damn goalkeeper Rabbid.

4. Bunnies Are Addicted To Carrot Juice
You have to pump carrot juice with the Nunchuk. By shaking it for the entirety of the minigame. That means an entire minute, at least. You must them aim the diver Rabbids who are coming towards you. You... fill their diving mask with carrot juice to knock them out. You know, this is a fun and challenging minigame, but your arm holding the Nunchuk will be aching by the time you lose (because the minigame only ends once you're incapable of stopping all the Rabbids). That is a guarantee. You basically have to take breaks! ...During a minute-long minigame! ...That's not a good sign. Shoo.

3. Bunnies Are Ticklish
Yuck. The last three minigames on this list are disgusting, unfunny and annoying. In this one, we see a Rabbid in the middle of his lobotomy, with his brain divided in four parts: Mouth, eye , mace (in one hand) and sausage (in the other). You're then given a sequence of those four elements and you have to repeat it by pressing A on the right brain parts. Eeyew! The game plays fine (but if you accidentally grab the wrong brain bit, you have to start the whole sequence again). You have a time limit, the sequence keeps growing, and you need to remember which brain part does what, because the symbols disappear before you start playing. Have (non-)fun!

2. Bunnies Are Slow To React (3)
This is a Rabbid's brain. This is a Rabbid's brain after
a concussion. Any questions?
God, this one sucks and they had to make THREE... Have you ever played those wooden mazes with a steel ball that has to go through a maze and fall in a hole, and you had to tilt the maze for that? Know what I'm talking about? This is the same thing, but you tilt the maze with the Wii remote. You have to reach the hole in a number of seconds. Oh, and in addition to the maze, there are PLENTY of holes on the way, and if your ball falls in it, you LOSE! Hurrah! Thankfully, there are shortcuts and ways to beat this more easily... but seriously, this minigame just plain sucks. It freaking sucks. And, oh joy, there's three of them. Hope you like cursing. You'll be doing it a lot.

1. Bunnies Don't Use Toothpaste (2)
First of all: Yuck. Eeyew-yuck. Yucky yuckiness yuck yuckety-sucks. Second: No. Heck No. Third: Why. Just... Why. We get an extreme close-up of a Rabbid's gigantic mouth, with teeth that have holes in them. The goal? Pick and pull out the creepy-as-all-fucking-Hell worms that come out of those holes, while they're smiling wider than the Cheschire Cat. Oh, and if you're not quick enough to pull a worm, it goes back in the tooth and breaks it. If another worm escapes your surveillance, re-enters that same tooth and breaks it again, you lose. This minigame is a good contender for the award of Most Disgusting Raving Rabbids Minigame Ever. It's just disgusting, unfunny and horrifying. And it's scaring the Hell out of me. Oh, and guess what? THERE'S A SEQUEL MINIGAME. OH GOD THERE ARE TWO OF THOSE. FUCK. Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck this sucks. I declare it the worst minigame in RRR1. The worst Rabbids minigame ever, maybe? Probably.

On to something happier: My favorite minigames!


12. Bunnies Are Not Ostriches
Rayman's controlling a UFO with a chain and a hook. He has to hover over Raving Rabbids whose head is stuck underground (it's Clark, the Super-Rabbid), deploy the hook and pluck them out. Sounds easy, but controlling the UFO is a little harder than it seems, you have to pluck 10 Clarks out, this minigame has a time limit (the less time you take the more points you get)... Oh, and Professor Barranco is following you around because he wants to be caught by the hook. The concept alone is funny, and while it's not one of the minigames I play most, this one definitely has some charm.

11. Bunnies Rarely Leave Their Burrows (2)
I might be fed up with Simon Sez, but I'm not tired of Whack-A-Mole! Rabbids come out of their burrows. Aim at them with the Wii remote and whack them by shaking the Nunchuk. Easy, really. There's also a sequel where pigs can randomly come out of holes, and you must not hit them, which adds some nice difficulty. I really like this minigame, even if it's simple and basic. And it's also a lot easier to reach 1,000 points in this one.

10. Race Good A Like Bunnies
There are 4 racing minigames in RRR1, but this one is the best. You're racing with the other Rabbiids... but you're going in the opposite direction of the other racers. As in, you'll need to avoid the incoming racers as you progress. I have no idea who thought about this, but it's frankly brilliant. Brilliant as in “silly”, but it's a silly idea that works. Plus, it's creative. Have you ever played a racing game where you go the opposite way everyone else goes?

9. The Bunny Hunt Minigames
Also of note, that giant mecha at the end of a Wild West
There's about 12 of them. You aim with the Wii remote, shoot with B, and shake the Nunchuk to reload. You can shoot 5 plungers before having to reload. Oh, also, using the Z button, you can use a hookshot to grab a Rabbid and either use it as a shield or toss it to other Rabbids to defeat many at once. Here, you encounter plenty of Rabbids: Some with armor; some that will explode; some that will shoot plungers at you; some darker ones who'll take multiple hits to be taken down.... the list goes on. Then there's the bunny mechas that shoot rockets at you, which you must deflect back at them using plungers. And then there are bosses like Pink the robotic Rabbid. All in all, these minigames are a lot of fun. Sure, they're rail shooters. Honestly, I don't care; it doesn't take the fun out of those minigames in any way.

8. Bunnies Have Natural Rhythm (2)
Colored bunnies dressed in different styles are running around a beach. As Rayman, you have to go kick a color radio to activate it. The Rabbids colored like the radio will start dancing, which means you can go up to them and kick them out. Do that for all four radios and you win! Try to beat the best time! There's a sequel to this one where Serguei, who doesn't like music apparently, will hurry to turn off a radio you turned on, so you need to be quick in kicking the colored Rabbids out. Oh, also, if you're in Serguei's way, HE will knock YOU out. That's a very funny minigame, which offers a decent challenge. Also, Rabbids of a color are dressed in a certain style, and the radio of that color plays music of that style (ex. Blue Rabbids wear cowboy hats, the blue radio plays country music). It's adorable and hilarious all at once.

7. Bunnies Have A Great Ear For Music
One of them is currently singing heavy metal and
screaming like there's no tomorrow. FIND IT!
A choir of bunny children (I feel there's a parody of a French film somewhere here, I just can't put my finger on it) are singing... but some of them prefer to yell. Keep them in line by finding which Rabbid is yelling and giving him a good slap! Don't hurt the others, though. There are 14 Rabbids here, which could make this minigame hard, but there's a trick: The other, non-guilty Rabbids will point to the one who's yelling, so use their accusing fingers to spot the young yeller and slap it good! There's even a trick. Keep selecting the Rabbids in the middle: they're the ones most likely to show you where the screaming Rabbid is. Great, funny minigame, good concept, nice-looking, and music. What's not to love?

6. Bunnies Don't Know What To Do With Cows
The arm-breaking minigame. You have to spin the Wii remote over your head faster, faster, faster. On the screen, Rayman will be treating a cow attached to a chain like a hammer to be thrown in the distance. He'll spin the cow over his head. You have to keep going faster, always faster, and then you have to press A or B to release the cow. It'll be flung in the distance, and your score is determined by how far from Rayman it lands. A very hard minigame, very physically straining... but dammit, it's worth it. Hilarious minigame. Just don't play it too often, you'll feel the pain in your arm VERY quickly. ...Still not as bad as the carrot juice-pumping minigame...

5. The 15 music minigames
Of course they were gonna be on this list! 7 different songs, 6 of which have two “difficulties”, and one that has three. The minigame's difficulty increases as you progress in the Story Mode, but it's always the same thing. Rayman in the center, with two pads, one on his left, one on his right. Rabbids come from both sides, in rhythm with the music. You have to shake the Wiimote to make a Rabbid disappear when it reaches the right pad, and shake the Nunchuk when a Rabbid reaches the left pad. If the Rabbid disappears in a white light, that means you hit it at the perfect time. If the light is yellow, it's a hit, but it's not good enough. A red light means you missed the Rabbid. This is all fine and good, except your multiplier increases only if you see white lights. See one yellow light, and you have to start building up your score multiplier all over again. That really sucks, because the game asks for perfection... and even with this perfection, one of these minigames can't reach 1,000 points due to a glitch... But I'll let that slip, since it's the only one out of 15 that has this glitch. It's one of those minigames for which you basically have to try if you want to lose, so it's very enjoyable. I almost found myself improvising dance moves all while shaking the remotes. Yeah, I'm silly. And proud of it.

4. Bunnies Don't Give Gifts
And the Rabbids KNOW that this is a bomb!
They like to receive, though. Rayman is handed a bomb disguised as a gift. A Rabbid lights it up. Rayman has to run through a beach-like environment to deliver the gift to... Professor Barranco. Poor lil' thing, always suffering... Anyway, you make Rayman run by alternating shaking both the Wii remote and the Nunchuk. The faster you go, the faster Rayman is. And there's a time limit, so be quick! Also, the gift blows up in Barranco's face. Because of course it does. It's so funny. I like this minigame because it was the first one I played in RRR1 and it showed me that indeed, many minigames were gonna be quite physical. In fact, the next three are also very funny. Very... Looney Tunes-esque, if I can put it that way.

3. Bunnies Are Oversensitive
And now the bumb starts growing...
Barranco (Him again? Poor Rabbid...) is standing on a stage. With the Wii remote, you control a hammer. By shaking the Nunchuk, you hit with that hammer. You have to aim for Barranco's head and hit him on the head as much as possible for about 10 seconds. Then, you see a bump appear on Barranco's head. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. And rise. Until it finally stops. The height the bump reaches is your score. This bump will go incredibly high, it's really funny. It might be the most exaggerated rising bump joke ever. Like, it rises so much that it's funny, then it stops being funny, and then it keeps going until it's funny again. It always gets a chuckle out of me and out of everyone else who's watching me play. Plus it's a very simple minigame, that anyone can play. And unlike the carrot juice-pumping minigame, it's not long enough for you to feel pain in your hand holding the Nunchuk (P.S. I usually switch around my Wiimote and Nunchuk playing this game, because it's easier for me that way.)

2. Bunnies Don't Understand Bowling
Ten bunnies are placed like bowling pins on a platform above a pit. Rayman, in a mine, must send, at great speed, a rolling barrel towards them. The goal is to make all Rabbids fall down the pit, or at least make them trip and fall on their faces. If all the Rabbids were hit through a domino effect, you record a Strike, and you get even more points if Rabbids fell off the platform. If you didn't do a Strike, you have to try and hit the remaining Rabbids. If you scored a Strike, you can try to get a second one, because 10 new Rabbids replaced the others. This minigame is just hilarious. And it renewed my interest in bowling! Plus, it's easy to play, but getting a high score is challenging... exactly what I want from a Raving Rabbids minigame.

1. Bunnies Like Surprises
The funniest minigame in RRR1. A Rabbid is walking around a platform with a plunger on its face, It can't see where it's going. You shake the Nunchuk to lead him to your left, and the Wii remote to lead him to your right. He'll run in whichever direction you asked him to. The point is to have him hit the obstacles in the way. Lovely surprises such as rakes, cacti, campfires, bear traps, and overcharged car batteries. Yes, you get points by forcing the Rabbids to fall in these traps. Your points double each time you make him hit the same kind of trap twice in a row. At the end, a giant 50,000-ton weight falls on the platform. Just in case it wasn't painful enough already. This minigame is amazing. I get huge Looney Tunes vibes out of it, and it always makes me laugh. Oh, and it's one of the minigames in which you can hit 1,000 rather easily: Have the Rabbid hit every single cacti while also avoiding the other traps! It's not easy but not insanely difficult. And the result is just great. This is my favorite minigame.

Well, those were my two lists. Thanks for reading. This Friday: Rayman Raving Rabbids 2... on the Nintendo DS!