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September 29, 2017

7 Film Adaptations of Video Games I Want to See

We, as gamers, have a lot of franchises that we praise. In every genre, on every platform. I have always been a Nintendo guy, so I have their franchises in mind. Other folks grew up with PlayStation or XBox, with their own franchises and exclusives. Others just go PC all the way. We all agree on one thing, though: Most film adaptations of games suck.

It’s practically proven. If a film is an adaptation of a famous franchise, it’s most likely going to be terrible. There's more than a few reasons for that:
-The studio snatched up the rights before it could form a competent team that knew the subject matter;
-The producers and directors didn’t seek out info on the adapted franchise;
-The screenwriters did not do the bloody research and got basic facts wrong;
-The folks in Hollywood associated with the project aren’t gamers to start with (less likely nowadays, but still possible);
-The fans know the source material better and can point out every inconsistency between the film and the games;
-Or all of the above with a double dose of incompetence thrown in.

Making a movie about video games without it being an adaptation isn’t a guarantee that the film will turn out any better, either; Sure, Wreck-It Ralph was awesome, but Pixels sucked. I can confirm, I saw it again lately. Blergh. However, there will always be diamonds in the rough, and a sufficiently talented team could come up with something, maybe not a masterpiece, but a movie that gamers aren’t ashamed to watch. Today, I fully acknowledge that these cases are rare and the examples given here are very unlikely to happen – but a guy can dream. I’m not saying these movies will happen, or that they won’t ever happen – those are the ramblings of a guy who likes video games, who likes movies, and would like to see some video game movies done right. And those are just ideas.

1. Super Mario Bros.

Type: Animated

Nintendo loves its silent player characters. Mario speaks phrases here or there, but is rarely saying actual, long lines of dialogue. Yet, we know that Charles Martinet is able to talk for a while as any of the characters he voices for the franchise, and he has repeatedly shown his talent for voice acting outside of the Mario franchise. Have you seen those videos from past conventions where Mario and Luigi were holding actual Q&As?



This: Never again.
BTW, I reviewed this movie
for the blog in 2015.
A good Mario movie would be quite an achievement. First, go animated. We're not making the mistake of live-action once again. Second, we need to have all the characters behave as they do in the series. True, the setting changes every so often, but the main characters’ personalities are usually the same regardless of the game. Third, think up a story that would be doable in movie form, that means a plot resolved in anywhere between 80 minutes and 2 hours. My best guess? Have Masahiro Sakurai as a creative consultant… and if that’s impossible, have the next best person with a well of knowledge in the Mario series that Nintendo can afford to give as a consultant. My other guesses would be to avoid including new characters that exist solely in the movie, although that would be difficult. And of course, it would be a shame to make a movie about this massive franchise without referencing its 35 years of existence. I have no idea what the plot would be. I know it would include Mario, Bowser, Luigi, Peach and the Toads, at the very least. It would be a perfect time to adapt bits and pieces of gameplay of previous titles in the series. As for the plot? I can think of things I’d love to see, but very few that would fit together in a single plot. My only wish would be that the end result turns out good.


2. The Legend of Zelda

Type: Live-action… or animated

Man, don't you just hate it when promising stuff turns
out to be a hoax?
Many years ago, there was that fake trailer for a TLoZ trailer passing around YouTube, and people being hyped for it. Alas, it wasn’t a real project. But… why wouldn’t it be? Why can’t we get a Legend of Zelda movie? I’ll outright admit that I wouldn’t care much whether it was live-action or animated. The big hurdle would be to keep Link mostly silent, like in the games, which would mean conveying all of his emotions through motion and expressions. It’s been done before, it’s perfectly possible. Second, we’d need a story. Which story would be the definitive Zelda story? Ocarina of Time, of course!

There is a feel of mysticism and magic in Hyrule, and there’s also a lot of elements of the series that we could put into the movie. There would be something to be done with special effects. I can personally see this done in live-action, though I’d personally prefer if it was animated. Has anybody seen the short fanmade film about Majora’s Mask, released on YouTube not long ago?




I want something of this quality, with a good script, detail and effort. That might be too much to ask. But I swear, I would LOVE this.

3. Kirby

Type: Animated

Maybe keep it to 3D this time.
The Kirby franchise has everything to make a good kids’ movie. Cute characters, a beautiful, colorful world, interesting storylines, and an underlying sense of darkness hidden beneath the cutesy stuff. It’s perfect! I could see something similar to the anime Kirby: Right Back At Ya! being done, with a Kirby who speaks very little, while everyone else can speak… the main difference being that the setting would be much closer to the games. No NightMare Enterprises, either. Have we ever even needed that anyway?

It goes without saying that every item on this list would need a creative consultant that knows the source material inside and out, so I won’t bring it up each time. For the Kirby movie, that would definitely be a big plus. We need to stay true to the source material while offering a movie-length story that will keep audiences interested; that is something else I don’t think needs to be repeated for each item on the list. It goes without saying.

In Kirby’s case, I could see an animated film for the whole family, with the adorable protagonists we know and love, and an enormous threat to Dream Land, of the kind we know and love from the franchise. Who would it be: Dark Matter? That company from Kirby: Planet Robobot? Maybe the final storyline of Kirby Super Star, what with the giant mechanical wish granter and Marx as the villain? I can think of a few enemies in the franchise that could adapt well to film. With tweaks to the original plots, of course.

4. Sonic the Hedgehog

Type: Live-action (and maybe Animated)

Live-action Sonic is so hirsute,
it's actually kinda weird to see.
Even the Boom version isn't that detailed.
Let’s be honest: There’s already a Sonic the Hedgehog live-action short online. The plan was for it to be made into a movie, which never happened. That’s unfortunate. But I still think an actual Sonic movie could be made. As a matter of fact, there may be talks for a movie by a major studio, but nobody seems sure just yet, so I'm classifying this as a "maybe", a slight break of my own rule.

Now, over whether to go for live-action or animated for this… tough decision, but I went with live-action. The marriage of CGI characters with the real world has always been shaky; most of the time, viewers can tell that the animated characters don’t quite fit. Think about The Smurfs, or Ted, or Garfield. That’s the potential issue here once again – make the characters fit in with the world and the actors.

As for the story, I would probably prefer if the screenwriters thought up something original. The last time Sonic was around more realistic humans, well… the less we say about Sonic 06 the better. I would go for a new story rather than an adaptation of an existing story from one of Sonic’s many games.

And, you know… worst case scenario, make it a straight-up animated film. I’d actually trust the writers of the Sonic Boom TV show to come up with a feature film-length plot to keep the audience enthralled. They’ve already got the characters down, they’ve got the comedy… Of course, writing for TV and writing for cinema are quite different things, but I’m quite certain that we could count on those currently offering the best Sonic TV show to give us a good Sonic movie.

5. Overwatch

Type: Either (but veering towards Animated)

Either make a movie or stick them all in an animated
parody of reality shows. That should be funny.
With the game’s insane popularity and diverse cast of characters, we could get something done. I’ve never played Overwatch, but even I can recognize Tracer, Widowmaker, Wartog and many of the others (even if I can’t name them all). Blizzard has given to us an entire cast of characters that are adored by fans. What kind of movie-length intrigue could we stick them in? Who would be the villain? Which characters would take center stage?

That’s probably the biggest issue the screenwriters would face in making an Overwatch movie: All the playable characters are beloved, and even though some of them were given greater spotlight and are preferred by fans, it would be difficult to give every character a chance to shine. Or, as a matter of fact, a story that would include them all in a significant manner. I entrust those who know the characters of Overwatch better than I do to find a potential story that could fill at least 90 minutes. I can only tell that the quirky and colorful folks of this impressive, successful game have what it takes to make a movie memorable. A movie's strength is just as much in its characters as it is in its story, after all.

6. Rayman

Type: Animated

The Glade of Dreams, Rayman's magical universe, is as beautiful to watch as Dream Land or Hyrule. On top of that, Rayman is a beloved franchise that still has only a few games in the main platforming series, a few spin-offs and remakes…

Just look at this wondrous 1999 CGI animation.
Also, yes, Rayman was voiced by Fry's voice actor.
Michel Ancel built a mythos for his limbless wonder’s universe, and we got to see much of it through Rayman 2: The Great Escape or Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc. Not to mention Rayman Origins and Legends, or the very first Rayman (but we can skip Hoodlums’ Revenge). We already had 4 episodes of a TV show (which I might actually review someday, if I ever get the chance), with Rayman voiced by Billy West (before he went on to voice Philip J. Fry), but the project was cancelled. I’m actually quite sure we could do something decent with what we know of Rayman, his zany companions, and the beautiful universe around them. I’d actually kind of see a film based on either Rayman 2 or Rayman 3.

I first thought of adding the Raving Rabbids to the list, considering they had their own TV show, but then decided against it – people were already crazy when the Minions movie came out, and the Rabbids would probably end up more annoying over 90 minutes. Not to mention that I can’t see this happening without the focus shifting to the humans who endure the presence of the Rabbids… which is already what various episodes of Rabbids Invasion were about.

Now…

A tough part with this list was to pick franchises that had not had full movies yet (and then again, I cheated with Super Mario Bros…. but that’s because they never had an animated film!), and also exclude franchises that have films in the works (such as Five Nights at Freddy’s). Where do I go from there: Splatoon? Katamari Damacy? Elder Scrolls? That last one would require a number of films greater than the Marvel Cinematic Universe, for Pete’s sake. Undertale? I doubt it. I wanted to avoid coming back to Nintendo since it’s already nearly half the list (other options were StarFox and Metroid). I am struggling to find a final one, aren't I? Well... um... let's go with the only one that comes to my mind for now.

7. Kingdom Hearts

Type: Animated

It’s Disney, they’ve been known to make pretty damn good movies as of late, they would also finally have a movie tying together many of their franchises through a single storyline. Kingdom Hearts is a great franchise, but it’s also a bit of a mess of plot twists and points, with some bigger questions popping up when one has been answered. With Tetsuya Nomura’s help and direction, a decent script could be written that encompasses most of the important parts of the KH story, while removing most of the filler. The franchise has had mangas, novels and remakes, which means that there’s plenty of additional material.

All I’m saying is, get people with film experience and KH knowledge, get folks who know the series and allow the creator of the franchise to have a say on the script… Y’know, all the things we wished were done to get a decent film adaptation. Add to that the talent for CGI from the folks at Disney; as long as they don’t phase ponytails through elbows again, we should be fine. It’s… well, we can keep on wishing for the best, but in the end that’s all they are. Wishes.

...

Now that this difficult list was done… The event I’ve been waiting for. I mean, it involves sitting through a terrible movie, but it’s not as bad as playing through a terrible game. The game needs your constant input, you can just stop watching the film whenever you want.

So, what’s the movie? I reviewed it already, it was back in 2015, for a single post. But that’s not enough. No, I need multiple parts for that review.

Starting next Friday: A huge review of Pixels. Yes, THAT Sandler movie.

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