I’m back with a new list! Boy, I haven’t made a double
list of the worst and the best in the same game in a long while… Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games contains 24 sports, which means I can classify them
in two lists of 12: The ones that I don’t like much, and the ones I like. You
know how it goes; I get rid of the negative first, with the Bottom 12, and then
I get into the Top 12 to end on a high note. I had to replay every single sport
of this exhausting game in a matter of a few days to compose these lists, just
for you. I hope you’re grateful. How about we get this started?
THE WORST SPORTS
12. Dream Fencing
|
The Fight To End All Fights! Danger! Thrill!
Epées! No epicness whatsoever! |
I find both fencing sports to be very
middle-of-the-road in this collection. Neither is particularly great, neither
is terrible. As a result, I was trying to figure out which one was worse, to
put it on this list. I went with Dream Fencing because it has a scoring system different from regular fencing; in regular fencing, you must hit your opponent a certain
number of times before they hit you that number of times themselves. In Dream
Fencing, characters have life bars and a character wins when their opponent's life bar goes empty. When getting hit or sparring attacks,
they have a gauge that fills up. When it’s full, that character can use a
special move. This can make some CPU opponents, which can already be fairly
difficult to defeat in normal fencing, a little harder. And of course, you can
use these attacks too, but a CPU character will know what the best moment is to
use their special move, and they might activate theirs right after yours,
stealing your chance to win…
11. 400m
|
Maybe you're gonna be able to escape from Bowser
the next time he tries to kidnap you!
Keep winning that 400m event, Peach! |
I mentioned I hated the “exhaustion meter” in the
previous part, didn’t I? Expect it to be mentioned a few times here. Running
the 400 meters requires that you shake your arms for a rather long period of
time. I mean, if you don’t think 40 seconds can be long, go play that mini-game
and come back to me. It would already be bad enough, but the exhaustion meter
takes it to a new level; if it empties completely, your character will need to
catch their breath and you’ll lose seconds. Your character spends most of the
mini-game teetering on the edge of exhaustion, with your movements trying to
make them run but not get too tired… Pressing the A button to get a boost in
the final 100 meters, as they tell you to, will likely not help. On the
contrary, it might give you more trouble.
10. Hammer Throw
|
Daisy can throw a hammer like any of the toughest
guys in here. And then we wonder why nobody has
come to kidnap her in Sarasaland since 1989. |
I never realized the strength competitions needed so
much precision. I mean, it’s just throwing a big ball attached to a chain, how
hard can it be to aim into the landing area? Turns out, it’s pretty hard. In
this mini-game, you press A to start spinning, then you must spin around the
Wii remote as fast as you can. When you’ve gained enough speed, press B to
throw the hammer – into the landing area, as landing even half a foot off of it
will make it a foul! And of course, you have to keep spinning before tossing! I
found out this was probably the most pain-inducing mini-game here, the one that
made my arms hurt the most. Probably because of the large horizontal circular
motions. Oh, and also because you have three tries, which you must all play
through. When placed after others tiring events in a Circuit, this sport is
just painful.
9. Dream Race
|
Pictured: Calm before the storm.
You KNOW a goddamn Boo is coming. |
I was expecting dream sports to be a sore spot for me,
since many of them work on Mario Party or Mario Kart logic; they’re mini-games
with items and mechanics that are not out of place in more fantastic sport
games. It’s in the name: Dream Events. I dreaded that Dream Race would be even
more annoying than Mario Kart, since your character only moves when you shake
the remotes, there are many obstacles, and on 8 possible items to get, the Boo
is the most annoying as it slows down the character in first place and they
stack up, so if you’re leading and you got more than one Boo on you, you’re
slowed down to a crawl. All in all, the experience isn’t so great, the constant
changing obstacles do make a nice change, but the opponents can be dastardly
when using items. It’s also very tiring, because this race is longer than the
400m Track race. However, it doesn’t have the “exhaustion meter”, so it’s
actually more tolerable. But everything else makes this game more annoying in
my opinion. At least it’s not outright bad, like some sports down there.
8. 4X100m Relay
|
Grab that stupid baton, you fat mustachioed plumber,
and let me go back to chasing after Sonic! |
Here’s an idea: Take the already annoying formula of
the 400m footrace and adapt it to Relays and Hurdles. Yay, I guess? In 400m
Relay, you make a team of 4 out of the 16 characters available. You have a
character run 100 meters, then relay the baton to the next character, and so on
until the fourth and final character, who runs through the finish line. Problem
is, you need to pull down the Wii remote when reaching the next team member in
line, to pass the baton, and if you don’t do it with perfect timing, the next
character will start off their own footrace slowly, which is really annoying.
Definitely not a game I like…
7. 400m Hurdles
|
Go Blaze go! Your cat instincts
will lead you to victory! What
do you mean, you don't have those? |
Hello again, 400m footrace! In case the “exhaustion
meter” wasn’t enough, how about we add hurdles to this mess? The advantage of
hurdles is that, when you successfully jump over one, you gain a small speed boost, which can be an advantage over the others. The disadvantage is that a
failed jump will slow you down. Add to this the character getting tired if you
shake your arms too fast, and you get a messy mini-game that will make you rage
at the screen when it comes up in the middle of a Circuit.
6. High Jump
|
I can already feel a part of me yelling at the thought
that Daisy's ass will smack the bar, because it will,
because it's a mini-game where that sort of thing is too
goddamn likely to happen. |
Now we’re getting into what are likely the poorest
mini-games in the entire thing: The jumping games. For some reason, I loathe
most of them, because they tend to be exhausting, and they also require
excellent timing. High Jump seems to be pretty straightforward: You make the
character run and gain speed as they head towards the bar, then when they reach
the bar you lift the Wii remote to make them jump. After which, when they go
over the bar, you need to lift the Nunchuk to raise the character’s legs.
Problem is, this requires the strictest fucking timing of the ENTIRE game. In
the other high-jumping game, Pole Vault, you can easily reach major heights in
as little as four tries… here, you need to raise the difficulty level by 2
milimeters every time. Don’t aim too high too quickly, or you’ll hit defeat
quickly. And of course, the CPU opponents are much better at this than the
player. But there’s worse…
5. Javelin Throw
|
Pictured: A shame, a multitude of failures,
a poor attempt at playing a game. Oh, and a javelin
in hand. |
I consider this one worse than Hammer Throw because
you only need good timing to throw the hammer. To throw the Javelin, your
character has to run, and then throw the Javelin by raising the Wii remote. N o
t t o o q u i c k l y. If you raise it too slowly, the javelin isn’t thrown with
enough force, and if you raise it too quickly, the character makes a bad throw
and gets pitiful results. That gameplay mechanic comes up in some games,
usually right after you’ve shaken your arms because the character on the screen
was running, and as a result it’s extremely easy to screw that up. And then,
you also need to remember that stepping on the line as you throw the javelin is
a foul, so you can have a good throw and still lose due to acting too late.
URGH.
4. Skeet
|
I have to say, if the crosshair didn't change size...
maybe it would be good... but dammit. |
Really, many of the events that require timing, for a
reason or another, can turn out to be pretty annoying. Skeet is one of them, in
many ways. Your character moves around nine spots from which to shoot clay
pigeons. Before the round begins, a meter appears on the screen with a dot that
moves through it; pressing A stops the dot, and the closest it is to the center
of the meter, the better will your aim be. Sounds fun? Have I mentioned that
said dot moves really quickly when getting into the meter? Have I also
mentioned that, if the dot is too far from the center, your aim actually gets
WORSE? The crosshair shrinks (if you press A while the dot is in the center,
instead the crosshair will grow). And after that part, you also need to be able
to see the clay pigeons that get shot, and be quick enough to shoot them, which
can be difficult regardless of the size of the crosshair. Seriously, how I
despise that event. Oh yeah, did I mention that CPU opponents are insanely good
at this one?
3. Vault
|
Doesn't matter, Yoshi. Fluttering is not allowed. |
Guess what? Another jumping mini-game! Eeyup. In this
one, you run towards the vault, then jump on it, and while the character falls
down to the ground, you can make it perform acrobatic moves. You get more
points with a perfect landing. On paper, this sounds pretty good. In practice,
this one plain sucks. I feel like, whenever I play this mini-game, much of the
final result is left to chance. And you all know that I have a bad luck that is
almost legendary… No matter how much practice I get for this one, I always get
the impression that the program is rigged. And I hate that.
2. Long Jump
|
Bleh. |
Jumping mini-game! On the surface, Long Jump is basic
enough. Shake the arms, gain speed… you know the drill. Once your character’s
speed is locked, you have to raise the Wii remote, not too fast, to jump. One,
you must jump before you get to the line; if you step over the line, it’s a
foul. That’s already tricky. But two, if you screw up when lifting the Wii
remote, you get a crappy score and your character doesn’t make a worthwhile
long jump. These are two very annoying mechanics put in a single event… And
once again, the CPU opponents tend to be really good at this one.
1. Triple Jump
|
Bleh bleh bleh!
Well, at least Eggman's jumping pose is amusing. |
Jumping mini-game. Again. Just goes to show how bad
these are when three of them make up the final three of the Worst list. Triple
Jump is basically Long Jump… times three. That precise timing you need to show
in Long Jump? You have to do it thrice here, once to jump before the line, once
for the second jump (which requires raising the Nunchuk, this time), and a
final time with the Wii remote. You only get meaningful results if all three
jumps were good; one bad move and you can kiss that gold, silver or bronze medal goodbye. You do get three tries, but really, sometimes these tries mean
nothing, as you could perform even worse than you did on your first attempt. And
really, I don’t think I can add anything else to the topic of jumping games
here… well, unless one of them appears on the Best list…
THE BEST SPORTS
12. Individual Epée
|
Shadow Versus Wario. Wafts thankfully
not included. For that, there's Smash. |
Dream Fencing was the least bad mini-game in the
collection, #12 on the previous list; Individual Épée similarly opens the Best
list. In this one, each participant has to hit their opponent a set number of
times (usually 15); No HP bullcrap and super powers. Of course, there’s still
quite a bit of strategy to it: You can choose to swing blindly as often as you
want. You can choose to fake an attack, which would cause the opponent to try
and spar, giving you an opening to attack. Or you can spar when the opponent
tries to land a hit, which will cause them to tumble for a moment, allowing you
to get a free hit. It’s harder than it looks, but for the most part, the AI is
fair, which makes this event often difficult, but usually fun to play.
11. Archery
|
I would aim for the Chao hot air balloon. |
I like Archery in Wii Sports Resort so it’s a given
that I would like archery here. I would like to point out that the controls
here are just as complex: To prepare to shoot, press A and B and pull back the
Wii remote; then, the target appears on the screen. You have to move the
cursors of the Wii Remote and the Nunchuk on the screen so that they’re one
above the other, and then release the buttons to shoot. That’s already complex,
mostly because of the Nunchuk cursor that is very fickle when there’s wind. Oh
yes, I almost forgot: There’s wind here, so you need to take that into account
before aiming. I like this sport, even though it’s difficult and the AI of the
opponents is really good. I usually dislike that, but I like archery, so I
suppose I have a bias…
10. Rowing – Single Sculls
|
"Rowing around in my pink canoe..."
"Preparing my hammer to hit the ones who beat me..." |
I don’t do many sports in real life, but I do like to
rent a canoe and go row for a bit. Obviously, the one in M&SatOG is more
competitive than that! In Single Sculls, you race against three opponents. Each
time you row, you have to hold two buttons indicated on the screen, among A, B
and Z; this prepares the character to row. Then you pull the two remotes
towards you to row. Repeat this as quickly and as often as possible. Pressing
the wrong button while preparing will make you lose speed. Despite the apparent
difficulty of it (the buttons to press are randomized), there is just something
fun with this one. The camera shots changing around the player and offering
multiple points of view of the world around also help, even if it’s just a
cosmetic addition.
9. 110m Hurdles
|
Keep practicing these jumps!
Feel like Mario! |
It’s crazy how removing a little gameplay mechanic can
make a game so much worse, or so much better. In this case, the hurdles come
with the territory; however, since this is only 110 meters, the “exhaustion
meter” is absent. Of course, you still have to worry about the hurdles and
having good timing to jump over them; but you don’t have to worry about
exhaustion, which is much welcome. None of the 100m sports have it, since
obviously there would be no purpose. As a result, I like this event. Not saying
that I always win at it, but it’s still good.
8. 4X100m Freestyle
|
Ha! In the water, Mario beats all of these Sonic
characters! Especially Sonic, who is forced to wear
a lifesaving vest here! |
The only 400m event on this list is Aquatics, because
both Aquatic events are on the Best list. More sports in this game should have
been done this well. For starters, yes, the exhaustion meter is there, but it’s
very simple; just press B to regain some energy; also, just swing down the Wii remote when you reach
the other end of the pool to turn around, almost no timing required. Simple. Second, yes, you have to make
big, tiring movements to play. However, there are 6 different swimming
techniques, and when you make your team of 4, you might have characters who all
use different swimming techniques. The Crawl, the Breaststroke, the Butterfly,
the Dog Paddle, the Underwater Running and the Crocodile Paddle. These add a
nice color to the event. I like having to adapt to the new swimming technique
that comes up, and it’s never a bother when I have to press B to regain energy.
I just like this one.
7. Dream Table Tennis
|
Shadow is gonna headbutt that ball and win the match! |
Table Tennis is another sport I really like in this
collection, even if opponents can be pretty tough to defeat. I can sometimes
complain about the fantasy aspects added to Dream Events, but in Dream Table
Tennis, those are actually pretty good. First off, you need to rack up a high
amount of points (usually 50); that may seem like a lot, but actually when you
score against the opponent you get one point for every time the ball was thrown
around by both participants. This can give you a lot of points, though you’ll
rarely get more than 10 points for a round this way. Next, knocking back the
ball fills the superpower gauge, and you can have up to three charges on it;
when the ball comes your way, press A and B at once to activate your character’s
superpower. The opponent can also use their superpower, so look out. Also, some
superpowers are easier to counter than others, so take that into consideration.
Thankfully, this is a sport that actually did turn out pretty good, even with
the Dream abilities.
6. 100m
|
Sonic might win...
Don't let Sonic win! |
Sometimes, gotta stick to what’s basic. 100 meters,
short, simple, sweet. Just run as fast as you can. Yes, you need to get a good
start by holding B at the beginning and pulling the Wii remote down to get a
good speed, but after that, nothing stands in the way to your victory.
Shake your arms for a few seconds, you should win easily. I like that!
5. Dream Platform
|
Hey, is it me or those blocks have no reason to be there? |
The only Dream Event that isn’t based on a real event,
though it has gameplay mechanics similar to the Trampoline mini-game. Four characters
jump off a plane and into the sea below, and on the way down they have to avoid
various obstacles, like floating blocks and robots made by Eggman. They can
also pass through a red, yellow or green hoop, which will trigger a mechanic
where you must press buttons or shake the Wii remote in order to achieve a
series of acrobatics. The faster you do these acrobatics, the more points you
get. You lose points for hitting obstacles. However, it’s not a race; the order
in which the contestants reach the water doesn’t matter; all that matters is
the score. Since I like the Trampoline event in this game, I knew I was going to enjoy this one too.
4. Table Tennis
|
The thought of Bowser using a paddle without ever
trying anything evil or twisted... kinda funny to me. |
Table Tennis, without anything special. You have to
win a set number of rounds (usually 15), each time trying to surprise your
opponent by preventing them from knocking it back. Your character replaces
itself so that you can hit the ball with the paddle, so that’s not the true
challenge here. The true challenge is to trick your opponent by changing the
speed at which you toss back the ball, either by sending it normally, sending
it slowly (by holding A before you swing) or sending it fast (by holding B). Of
course, there are some drawbacks, as it takes a second of buildup when sending
the ball fast, so it takes some timing. Also, your opponent has the same
options, so be on the lookout for fastball specials. I’m good at this one, which
might explain why I like it.
3. 100m Freestyle
If you kept track of the sports on the list, then you
may have noticed 100m Freestyle, in Aquatics, was still nowhere to be found
while 4X100m Freestyle was covered. The reason is simple; I like both sports,
but 4X100m Freestyle is longer and thus more exhausting. If you want something
short and good, there’s its brother, the regular 100m Freestyle, where all that
matters is going back and forth once in the Olympic pool. Again, short, sweet,
not too exhausting, me likey.
2. Trampoline
|
Even when he's on a trampoline where one can't help
but go "Wheeee!" |
One of the least tiring events, but one that you can
easily mess up if you’re not careful; it takes a lot of skill. Our character is
trying to reach new heights on the trampoline, and that means making awesome
acrobatics when coming back down. Symbols appear on the screen (A, B and “Wii
remote twist”). You have to press all the buttons (and twist the remote) in the
correct order. The more mistakes you make, the lower your character will go on
the next jump. You have to act quickly! And of course, you also need to pull
down the Wii remote when your character hits the trampoline, in order to get a
jumping boost. At the end of the event, the character who reached the best
height wins!
1. Pole Vault
|
You know what's the difference between a bad pole vault
athlete and a good one? I need to think about it...
Give me a moment-um! |
What’s that? A jumping game is, in my opinion, the
BEST sport in the whole game? No, you’re not dreaming. It’s a proof that when
done right, even these sports could be excellent. In Pole Vault, your character
must run and gain speed. When their speed gets locked and they get closer to
the pole, you must lower the Wii remote to set the pole near the mattress. And
no, in this one, you only have to have good timing, you don’t have to lower it
slowly, you can do it at any speed you want - and to make it even easier, you can easily tell when to lower the remote, the blue and the orange on the floor go in a straight line towards the bar and mattress, not perpendicular to them. With the pole set, your character
will soon be sent upwards over the bar, and you can shake quickly the Wii
remote and Nunchuk to give it a boost that will allow them to pass over the
bar. Before the event, you set the height of the bar, and you get three tries
each time (in case the bar falls off). What’s good is that, with this mechanic,
you can actually reach pretty impressive heights with the bar (the world record
of 6.30 meters is actually fairly easy to reach). It’s my favorite sport
because it takes some of things that were done wrong in other sports of this
collection, and actually does them correctly. And that’s quite an achievement. An indication that by putting the right amount of effort and by carefully programming the mini-game, it's possible to make it challenging, but fair and fun.
Well, there go these two
lists. I’m done discussing Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games now. I said
everything I could ever say on this one. However, there is one subject I have
yet to complete… Remember the Kirby game reviews? I only have one game left to
cover among the six in Kirby’s Dream Collection. I skipped that review in favor
of this one due to the Olympics, but this Friday, I will be covering Kirby’s
Dream Land 3. Once that’s done, I’ll talk about the three Kirby: Right Back At
Ya episodes available in Kirby’s Dream Collection, and then I’ll make a final
post about the collector’s item in general. This should cover pretty much
everything that’s left to cover about it. So I'll be tal;king about the Kirby series pretty much for the rest of the month. Don't miss any of it!
No comments:
Post a Comment