I’m back with a new list! Boy, I haven’t made a double list of the worst and the best in the same game in a long while… Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games contains 24 sports, which means I can classify them in two lists of 12: The ones that I don’t like much, and the ones I like. You know how it goes; I get rid of the negative first, with the Bottom 12, and then I get into the Top 12 to end on a high note. I had to replay every single sport of this exhausting game in a matter of a few days to compose these lists, just for you. I hope you’re grateful. How about we get this started?
THE WORST SPORTS
12. Dream Fencing
|The Fight To End All Fights! Danger! Thrill!|
Epées! No epicness whatsoever!
|Maybe you're gonna be able to escape from Bowser|
the next time he tries to kidnap you!
Keep winning that 400m event, Peach!
10. Hammer Throw
|Daisy can throw a hammer like any of the toughest|
guys in here. And then we wonder why nobody has
come to kidnap her in Sarasaland since 1989.
9. Dream Race
|Pictured: Calm before the storm.|
You KNOW a goddamn Boo is coming.
8. 4X100m Relay
|Grab that stupid baton, you fat mustachioed plumber,|
and let me go back to chasing after Sonic!
7. 400m Hurdles
|Go Blaze go! Your cat instincts|
will lead you to victory! What
do you mean, you don't have those?
6. High Jump
|I can already feel a part of me yelling at the thought|
that Daisy's ass will smack the bar, because it will,
because it's a mini-game where that sort of thing is too
goddamn likely to happen.
5. Javelin Throw
|Pictured: A shame, a multitude of failures,|
a poor attempt at playing a game. Oh, and a javelin
|I have to say, if the crosshair didn't change size...|
maybe it would be good... but dammit.
|Doesn't matter, Yoshi. Fluttering is not allowed.|
2. Long Jump
1. Triple Jump
|Bleh bleh bleh!|
Well, at least Eggman's jumping pose is amusing.
THE BEST SPORTS
12. Individual Epée
|Shadow Versus Wario. Wafts thankfully|
not included. For that, there's Smash.
|I would aim for the Chao hot air balloon.|
10. Rowing – Single Sculls
|"Rowing around in my pink canoe..."|
"Preparing my hammer to hit the ones who beat me..."
9. 110m Hurdles
|Keep practicing these jumps!|
Feel like Mario!
8. 4X100m Freestyle
|Ha! In the water, Mario beats all of these Sonic|
characters! Especially Sonic, who is forced to wear
a lifesaving vest here!
7. Dream Table Tennis
|Shadow is gonna headbutt that ball and win the match!|
|Sonic might win...|
Don't let Sonic win!
5. Dream Platform
|Hey, is it me or those blocks have no reason to be there?|
4. Table Tennis
|The thought of Bowser using a paddle without ever|
trying anything evil or twisted... kinda funny to me.
3. 100m Freestyle
If you kept track of the sports on the list, then you may have noticed 100m Freestyle, in Aquatics, was still nowhere to be found while 4X100m Freestyle was covered. The reason is simple; I like both sports, but 4X100m Freestyle is longer and thus more exhausting. If you want something short and good, there’s its brother, the regular 100m Freestyle, where all that matters is going back and forth once in the Olympic pool. Again, short, sweet, not too exhausting, me likey.
|Even when he's on a trampoline where one can't help|
but go "Wheeee!"
1. Pole Vault
|You know what's the difference between a bad pole vault|
athlete and a good one? I need to think about it...
Give me a moment-um!
Well, there go these two lists. I’m done discussing Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games now. I said everything I could ever say on this one. However, there is one subject I have yet to complete… Remember the Kirby game reviews? I only have one game left to cover among the six in Kirby’s Dream Collection. I skipped that review in favor of this one due to the Olympics, but this Friday, I will be covering Kirby’s Dream Land 3. Once that’s done, I’ll talk about the three Kirby: Right Back At Ya episodes available in Kirby’s Dream Collection, and then I’ll make a final post about the collector’s item in general. This should cover pretty much everything that’s left to cover about it. So I'll be tal;king about the Kirby series pretty much for the rest of the month. Don't miss any of it!