My Needlejuice Mystery Box 2023, Ranked (Part 1)

Doing this again this year! Same concept as last year. I feel it’s just right to do this, as though I am doing my part to promote Needlejuice, a record label that has its big names, but also a lot of lesser-known artists that can benefit from the spotlight. Needlejuice Records, from Nashville, specializes in indie artists, providing physical versions of these artists’ albums (in vinyl, cassette and CD formats, and beyond). They have a Bandcamp, a website and a Discord server. From 2021 to 2023 ('24 was too busy a year for them to do it), they sold mystery boxes through which they pass their overstock, even adding extra goodies. Each mystery box I purchased contained three vinyl records, three cassettes and three CDs, with a bonus vinyl test pressing and an extra surprise.

In my previous article, I said I wasn’t sure why it took me a full year before ranking the albums from the first mystery box I purchased. I do have an answer; before making this list, I want to make sure I understand each album within the wider context of its creator’s discography. Which is a fancy way of saying that, like the madman I am, I shove every studio release from each artist into a single Spotify playlist and listen at random, getting a good feel of each artist’s stuff and giving me a new perspective on the album I received. I even plan to check which albums I enjoyed the most in that playlist, and will buy those too.

Why yes, my music collection is big, why do you ask?

I purchased a second box in late 2023 and received it in early January 2024. This has given me a year to hear these albums several times (some more than others) and do that deep discography dive. I threw into that playlist every studio album from these artists, and for good measure, I also included any new albums from artists I had already heard (from the previous list) and who had new stuff out.

Another 11 albums, once more ranked from favorite to least favorite. Remember that if I rank an artist lower, that doesn’t mean their stuff is bad – it can just be that it didn’t click with me. Maybe it will click with you. Oh, and the previous article was too long, so this time, I’m splitting it into two parts. Starting with…

Nick Lutsko – Swords

The sad clown says it all.

Nick Lutsko, from Chattanooga, Tenenssee, has been releasing music since 2012. He made a name for himself providing comedic songs for Netflix and CollegeHumor, including a longer stint making satirical tunes for entertainment company Super Deluxe. He has albums that are satirical, albums that are more comedy/horror (he has released a few songs every Halloween since 2021), and the occasional serious one, with today’s album being an example of the latter. He performs live with The $100K Band.

Keeping up with the news, even if to do funny stuff with it, means being constantly exposed to everything messed up about the world. Lutsko came out of a long period of writing satirical songs, I paraphrase his words, “disillusioned with the zeitgeist”. If there’s a group of people that’s painfully aware of the state of the world, it’s comics and comedians.

Swords is an odd beast; Lutsko hesitates to call it a concept album, though the signs are there. Each title is a single word starting with S (so… S-words?). Most songs are about a deeply troubling aspect of the world we live in. Starting with self-destructive willful ignorance (Sideshow) and xenophobia (Superior) and moving on to social media addiction (Straitjacket), hopelessness (Sometimes) and more. If the lyrics to Software, the closing track of the album’s original version, were too subtle, the video spells it out: It's about the general unwillingness to prevent school shootings from happening so damn often in the U.S.. Ouch. The songs are tied by recurring motifs and lines, and the instrumentation to many tracks incorporates circus-like music in some capacity. The result is indie alt-rock/progressive pop that sounds incredible from beginning to end.

Although this album has elements of his career up to now, it also stands as his most serious. The cassette I got included the tracks from “Seven Inch Swords”, a minidisc follow-up that includes Spineless, a song so good I keep thinking it’s part of the original Swords. It also includes two demos and two live versions. I think Swords is his best work so far, and I love it, even though he himself admits to it being “a bit of a bummer”.

If you want to hear more from him, Nick has the satirical Songs on the Computer duology; and he compiled his recent Halloween songs onto HAUNTED, released in 2024. He has also been working on a follow-up to Swords titled Ends, and I am HYPED for it. One single has already been released.

Favorite track: 

Retrospective 2024

Fuck 2024.

…

…

…

Oh, you expect me to say more? World’s going to Hell, magnitudes worse than it did 12 months ago. We can fully expect America to crumble under the weight of its own bullshit, pulling down several other countries (including possibly mine, because I’m right fucking next door!) along with it. Hate has won and is on the rise. And I would be here happily munching on my popcorn watching the leopards of the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party having the feast of the fucking millennium, if so many of my friends across the United States weren’t getting caught in the crossfire!

Will things get better? I’m doubting it more and more. I am genuinely terrified of what’s to come. Across the next months, across this year that has just begun, across the next four years and beyond. These are not flashbacks to 2017; no, it’s so much worse. I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And from my position, the best I can do is reskeet posts about current issues and show my support any way I can. If shit comes knocking at my door, I’ll take my signs and march in the streets. My scope of action is limited, so I’ll do what’s possible. It’s kind of odd just how militant I became against the rising bullshit when it struck. My first order of action was to leave the site formerly known as Twitter, and become a recurring poster on Bluesky instead. Join me over there, it’s got its issues we must fight against, but otherwise it’s going much better.

You know that joke from Airplane!, “I picked a bad week to quit drinking”? 2025 looks like a good year to start.

Okay, you know what? Life’s gonna suck, but if I keep crying about it, nothing will get done. Besides, you are not here to hear me mope, and moping won’t solve anything anyway. If you’re here today, you’re here to be distracted from the *gestures wildly at everything* and have some escapism. So… I’ll provide. It would do me some good, too, to think about something else for a moment.

...Okay.

Despite everything, it’s still me.

Year Plans 2024: What I've Missed

Last year, I made a list like this, going over all the games I had planned to cover during the year but didn’t; that meant playing roughly an hour of each of them, and collecting my “first impressions” (by default of not having enough time to play through their entirety, like I try to for regular reviews) into a single article.

I thought I had done poorly this year, but no – when compared to 2023, where I had 14 games I hadn’t played through, this time around I have 17, which… yeah, it’s more, but it’s not that much more. It’s unfortunate that I couldn’t hit my goals, but then again – I did overshoot while setting up my Year Plans. I won’t explain my method in depth, but it’s more than just “roll for a random number”. As usual, I’ll be setting this up in time for my retrospective, next week.

One thing I noticed when going back over the titles I didn’t play this year: I had a lot of RPGs in there. When I was picking these games, I also stumbled on a few two-game franchises and put the whole franchise in there to make it simple. So yeah, I had a lot of stuff to check out. Opening with…

The variety

Wait till they toss in bugs! And fire! And MORE!

Starting with a funny puzzle game (that I had almost forgotten about!), Girls Like Robots is a creation of Popcannibal. In this game from 2014, we seat girls, robots, nerds and various other characters (with the loadout changing at every chapter) to reach as much happiness as possible. Girls love to sit next to robots, but a robot cannot stand being surrounded by four girls. Nerds like edges, corners, and robots, but girls don’t like them. Girls and nerds like pie, but robots don’t! New requests, character interactions, and rules get added regularly to shake things up. It’s fun, and gets surprisingly tricky even an hour in.

Movie Review: Sonic the Hedgehog 3

I have now seen Sonic 3. The one with Shadow voiced by Keanu Reeves. Well, I went there on Friday night, and I'm only reporting on it now because I got busy during the weekend. Family reunions because of the Holidays, all that. Hey, you've still got two days if you want to see it before Christmas! I'll keep light on the spoilers, as usual - well, aside from the stuff confirmed in trailers.

The story

We're continuing from the previous movie, with Sonic (Ben Schwartz) now living with Tails (Colleen O'Shaughnessey), Knuckles (Idris Elba), Tom (James Marsden) and Maddie (Tika Sumpter). They're even celebrating Sonic's first year on Earth... Okay, no, that's incorrect, it's either "Sonic's first year of being found by Tom", or "Sonic's first year of joining the Wachowski household".

This outdoors party is interrupted by the arrival of a G.U.N. helicopter, with agents enlisting the aid of the three friends against a new threat. For the last 50 years they had been hiding another alien, the mysterious Shadow. The hedgehog broke out of his containment from a prison by the coast of Japan, and has been wreaking havoc in Tokyo as a result. Team Sonic lands and gets beat up pretty badly by this new threat. Even Sonic can't match the similarly speedy hedgehog.

After Shadow has left to who knows where, Team Sonic recovers at a close-by place, where they meet with Commander Walters of G.U.N. (Tom Butler). Walters begins to explain Shadow's story, but the discussion is interrupted by a surprise attack by Robotnik's robots. A mysterious masked motorcyclist barges into the fight and incapacitates the robots. Walters gives Sonic a special key card, telling him to keep it hidden. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles then chase down the motorcyclist, whom they find out is Agent Stone (Lee Madjoub). Robotnik's lackey them to the mad scientist's lair.

Robotnik (Jim Carrey, of course) has been in a heavy funk since his previous defeat, and spends his days eating crap and watching soaps. He's put on quite a bit of weight. Hey, he's Eggman fully realized, he's just missing the suit! Once everybody realizes that someone else is using Robotnik's robots for nefarious purposes, the heroes strike up an unlikely alliance with their greatest enemy.

This takes the whole group to a military base, where the culprit is found: Gerald Robotnik (also Jim Carrey), a grandfather Ivo didn't know he had. Gerald is the one who freed Shadow from confinement, and intends to use him to enact revenge on G.U.N. for everything that happened fifty years prior. And since he's as evil as his grandson, the two Robotniks team up for another ploy that threatens all of Planet Earth. And with Shadow still under their control, they're nearly unstoppable...

The review

Even more action-packed than the previous two films, Sonic The Hedgehog 3 is intended as a (rather loose) adaptation of Sonic Adventure 2. Not a game I've played in full yet, but I know the general details of that story. Not that this is very relevant; like I said, rather loose. What matters is whether the new characters in the film are respectful of their original game versions, and whether the end result is cohesive.

The Sonic movies so far have had action, sure, that comes with the territory. However, they tend to veer a lot more into comedy, owing to being a family film. Sonic and Robotnik can't spend 2 minutes on-screen without tossing banter. The Sonic franchise in general, especially in the games, tends to oscillate between serious stories and more lighthearted ones. The action is still great; and in fact, this might be the most action-packed entry in the film franchise yet. It is to be expected, with Shadow proving to be much stronger, and a lot more dangerous, than any previous opponents.

Character-wise, I love the energy that has settled within Sonic Team, and even with Sonic's "adoptive parents" Tom and Maddie. Tails and Knuckles have adapted well, and even Knuckles seems to have loosened up a tad. Guess it helps that Knux had an entire miniseries all to himself on Paramount+ in 2024... it's not really mandatory watching before Sonic 3, the only thing that ties the two is a one-minute gag.

But let's get to the centerstage character: Shadow. I haven't seen the film in English, but I've read that Keanu Reeves went above and beyond to respect the core of the character in his performance, and I 100% believe it. (Guess it helps that this hedgehog shares many traits with a certain John Wick...) Shadow wouldn't be who he is without his traumatic backstory, and... well, I won't spoil for anyone who doesn't know it yet, but I'll say: There's a couple differences with game canon, but it's ultimately faithful.

Which brings me to the Robotniks. Ivo is the same as ever, evil but hilariously so, with Jim Carrey once more bringing his pure chaotic energy to the performance. You could say he steals the show, as usual. However, this time there's twice the Carrey to chew the scenery. Gerald Robotnik was a way for director Jeff Fowler to carry the themes of family that permeated the previous  films, this time by exploring it on Robotnik's side, he who normaly treats everyone as idiots. This time, he is not only facing someone just as smart (if not smarter!), but someone with similar spite.

Barring a few specific moments, Gerald Robotnik is played with the exact same energy as Ivo. It's very cool that both of them appear all the time on-screen together, despite being played by the same actor - there's some impressive special effect work here, be it in the use of body doubles and other tricks to have them next to each other.

My biggest issue with the film lies in Gerald Robotnik, actually. Yeah, he's as zany as his grandson, as we get to see in several scenes I won't spoil. The original Gerald Robotnik is a part of Shadow's backstory and is, as a result, a much more tragic character. Yes, Jim Carrey is capable of dramatic acting, and some of it peeks through in the relevant flashbacks involving Gerald, obviously, but also when his true motivations are revealed. (Again, not telling.) But that's the thing; no matter how hilarious Carrey's interpretation is, I can't seem to reconcile the overtly silly and the genuinely tragic sides of this Gerald. They don't... fit together, at least not as well as I suspect Fowler wished.

And while most of the film is great, there's often this tonal clash: This attempt at telling a serious, mature story, that gets often chort-circuited by the silliness. Honestly, that's my biggest gripe with the film, and the more I think about it the harder it gets to ignore. I think I would have preferred if Gerald got played a little more seriously, if only during his final scenes.

But honestly, that's not that big of an issue when it's such a good ride for most of the film. If we put that little hiccup aside, emotion's there where it needs to be, the action is great, and the story does take some turns that are a little more intense than in the previous two, so while comedy is still a core tenet, there is indeed a bit more of a serious element this time around. Definitely a recommendation, if you've seen the other two you'll enjoy this one as well.

Sonic 4 was already announced. Stick around to the end of the credits - the previous films both showed new characters, so you can expect that here as well.

12 MORE Worst Video Game Marketing Campaigns (Part 2)

Read Part 1 if you haven't seen #12 to #7! Ready for more?

6. Your mom hates Dead Space 2

Scaring women in the name of advertising! Yeah, that's
one Hell of a low-hanging fruit.

Studios are likely to cater directly to the target audience of the game they’re about to release. It only makes sense to do so. And since a lot of video games are horror or shooter types, who is the audience? Teenagers! And what is the stereotype of teenagers? That they hate their parents, or that they think their folks aren’t cool! Therefore, if their parents – or someone similar – object to their product, that product will instantly look cool to these teens! Sound logic there!

In 2011, Visceral Games and Electronic Arts made big plans for their latest survival horror shooter, Dead Space 2. Heavy stuff, hunting down monstrous aliens on a space station and dealing with mental illness. My brain who has never played this franchise immediately went, “that sounds like Aliens meets Resident Evil”. Anyone versed in the franchise can correct me. This combo says exactly what you can expect: Blood and guts galore.

That rating at the bottom couldn't be clearer!

The ad helpfully informs us that the women presented in its 32 seconds were part of an “actual focus group”, not actresses. So, we can assume their reactions are genuine. Grandmothers, moms, older women, you know, exactly the kind of person unlikely to enjoy what is being shown. Beyond the ad, the official Dead Space channel included full versions of some of the interviews. Hammering in these women’s outrage and anger at what they’re shown.

There’s just one problem: The game isn’t directed at younger teens. The ESRB rated it M for Mature. AKA, for older teens bordering on adults. I'm not saying they must have outgrown "your parents suck" at 17, but at that age, there's no need to involve the parents into the advertising. So, this campaign, on top of traumatizing multiple women, also completely missed the mark as to who it was speaking to. The whole thing was considered in very poor taste. The use of an age-old (pun intended) stereotype also turned away many people outside of the ad’s target demographic. To say nothing of the ESRB, who got a strong talking-to for allowing the ad to be broadcast.