On Easter Monday, I had time to go see two films in theaters; this one, and Drop (that review will be posted tomorrow). Funny Barbenheimer-style double feature, I'm growing to enjoy those.
Directed by Jared Hess, A Minecraft Movie had been in the plans for roughly ten years, no doubt due to the game's insane popularity. If it's huge, make a movie about it. The blocky graphics of the Mojang hit wouldn't have made for the most visually interesting thing on a silver screen, which is why the film instead went for more textured stuff in the Minecraft world... stuff that's still very blocky in design regardless, and that goes for both the cubes of items and all the animals and living/undead creatures living in it. There was a worry early on regarding the uncanny valley feel it could get, but the designs hold up relatively well after all. Anyway...
The story
When he was young, Steve (Jack Black) yearned for the mines; so when he became adult, he went down there and found two strange artefacts: A glowing cube-shaped orb, and the Crystal, a glass container for the cube with markings all over it. Putting one in the other opens a portal to the Minecraft universe's Overworld, where Steve, a creative mind bored by the real world, could live the rest of his days without a worry. ...well, aside from the threats every night. He has even made a friend, a dog-like wolf he named Dennis!
However, he hasn't only made friends in that world; he has antagonized the Piglins of the Nether, and their leader Malgosha the witch. They need the orb in order to invade the Overworld and destroy it. To ensure they cannot do so, a captured Steve sends his wolf to the real world with the orb and crystal, and it hides them in Steve's old home.
Years later, the stuff in Steve's abandoned house is sold off in an auction. The winner is Garrett Garrison (Jason Momoa), "The Garbage Man", who peaked in the arcade days and never outgrew that. At the same time, Natalie (Emma Myers) and Henry (Sebastien Hansen), two teenagers orphaned after their mother's passing, arrive in the film's setting, the town of Chuglass. Natalie was hired at the potato chip factory, the town's biggest industry, while Henry, a creative kid and a scientific genius, will finish his education at the lame local high school. They become friends with their realtor, a woman named Dawn (Danielle Brooks) who doubles as the owner of a mobile petting zoo.
Hijinks ensue after the cube (...pardon me; Orb) and its abilities are discovered, and all four of these mismatched people end up in the blocky world, having to figure out how to survive. Meanwhile, a freed Steve has the duty to recover the artifact, and he finds the misfits, rescuing them during their first night... in which the crystal container is destroyed, trapping them in the Overworld unless they find a replacement. Steve joins them on the quest for a new Crystal, providing his knowledge and expertise to the team, though he may have his own agenda...
The review
I took my time to get to this one 'cause I just wasn't feeling it, especially considering the negative press around the film due to stupid goddamn teenagers making huge freaking messes of theaters at the Chicken Jockey scene. So glad there was none of that at my showing. But! As the author of a video game review blog (that also covers video game-related media), I knew I had to. That's the universe's revenge on me for skipping Borderlands last year.
Minecraft doesn't have a story, so a movie had to invent one. As long as it stays faithful to the mechanics, details, items and setting of Minecraft, a story built from scratch shouldn't be much of an issue. However, there was no way a movie based on this game would feature human protagonists and not be "yet another isekai", AKA yet another movie about a bunch of people ending up in a different world/universe and having to adapt to its rules in order to come out on top. There are so, so many video game movies like this that I've stopped counting them. It's tiring just how damn often it happens.
With that said, I think A Minecraft Movie is at least aware of that and thus never treats itself too seriously, decorating every improbable thing with a dose of self-deprecation. Creativity is meant to be the name of the game, but it disappointingly follows a little too closely the formula of similar stories (though it does throw the occasional curveball).
All my apologies to Jack Black, but every time he was on screen, due to the big bushy whitening beard, what I was seeing was Jack Black, not Steve. Between the random moments of singing and all the silliness (and, yes, he's a lot rounder than Steve should be), this specific casting felt more like parody, a "let's pick the guy least suited for the job" kind of idea. And it's sad because I know Black is a great actor, as evidenced by him playing Bowser in the Super Mario Bros. Movie or playing a teenage girl playing an overweight professor in the Jumanji video game movies.
In comparison, Momoa loses himself into the loser Garrett, which isn't such a great thing as the character is annoying beyond words, and ends up being more of a burden or a load to the whole team, for the better part of the film, than any actual help. But! At least I could buy that this was a character and I won't refer to him by his actor's name!
Nah, the real emotional core lies in the siblings played by Myers and Hansen; they have their silly moments, but they help make the movie seem less like just a mindless, dumb video game comedy and like something with some actual heart behind it. Brooks is pretty fun, too; shame the two human women take a backseat to the guys.
Oh, and Dennis is a good boi.
On top of following the formula so closely, the movie makes a lot of nods and references that won't be known by a wider audience, and will be caught only by true fans of Minecraft and its fanbase. For what it's worth, I felt the entire prelude to the four ending up in the Overworld was rushed in execution, because the pace of those scenes feels much faster. As though the film really, really wanted to get through as much exposition as possible so they could get to the blocky world quicker. (Yes, that does include Steve's "backstory" at the very beginning.)
It's got its moments, some good stuff here and there, but overall it all felt rather meh. Okay at best. It rakes in the money due to the property it adapts, but aside from that? Meh. (Yet, knowing myself, I bet I'll get the DVD just so I can do a full-length review of it in, like, 2029 or something...)
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