Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
(Even though I think I made myself clear so far, it
bears repeating that this review has major spoilers for the game’s two most
important routes. Tread lightly. Oh, and spoiler alert, the ship sinks at the end of Titanic.)
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| (The text isn't normally darker, I just suck at taking screen caps.) |
Walking into Hotland for the first time, we see guards
keeping the path locked from humans - not realizing we’re one. Phew, is it me
or it’s getting hot in here?
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| Ah,, finally someone helpful around here! |
Nearby, we have a boat that can take us to earlier
areas such as Waterfall or Snowdin. The building west, however, is a
laboratory and the home of Alphys, the royal scientist. She’s a real ball of
anxiety, stress and nerves, that lizard woman. Almost like me, except I’m not trapped
underground. And also I am not crazy over anime. Just video games… er… in
hindsight my situation ain’t all that better. I’m sad now.
Alphys explains that she was following the child’s
journey through the land of the monsters, and has begun rooting for them.
Unfortunately, Alphys is also the creator of an entertainment robot named
Mettaton, who was modified to be able to fight humans. Except in trying to
remove those features, she amplified them instead, and now her robot is trying to
kill us! Whoa! I thought only Asgore was allowed to try and kill me! …Wait.
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| I'm more partial to "Fuzzy Pushover", but what do I know. |
As if on cue, Mettaton shows up busting from the wall
dramatically, and fights the human child. Except it’s not a normal fight. It’s
a QUIZ SHOW! A battle begins, and you move your heart around in the rectangular
area during Mettaton’s turn to pick the answer. That's... really clever! Eventually the questions become
completely unfair (and Mettaton attacks you each time you pick wrong), but one
question eventually becomes about Alphys’ favorite anime/game franchise, Mew
Mew Kissy Cutie, and she absolutely has to answer that one for us. After which, Mettaton asks a question embarrassing Alphys, and then he leaves. Till
we meet again!
Before we leave the lab, Alphys upgrades our super-old
phone into a better model with texting and Internet connectivity, and then lets
us go on our jolly way. From this point onwards, Alphys will often call to help
you, and sometimes you’ll get notifications from her on social media.
A LOT of notifications.
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At least, when Navi bothers you in Ocarina of Time, she's
supposed to have a point. |
Like, all the time.
And you have to stop to read that pop-up dialogue box
when it appears.
Sigh.
And even when there are puzzles, she’s not helping
that much, sometimes being a bother instead.
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Destroy the enemy ship, move the
boxes out of the way. Simple. |
So yeah, Hotland is a combination of four things: Hot
hot hot puzzles, a bit of a maze of elevators on the way to the area’s Core,
encounters with Mettaton playing TV show host while trying to kill you, and
Alphys constantly calling you or dropping social media notifications. Each one
of them would be fine, but all four combined make this an area I really didn’t
like the first time I played. It was a maze, it had tough enemies, all the
Mettaton encounters were funny but filler, and Alphys came across as a video
game helper as annoying as Omochao to the power of Navi. Thankfully, this time,
I knew what to do somewhat, so navigating the area was easier.
We have to solve puzzles to open doors on the way.
Also, we’re finally told why monsters are so obsessed with puzzles: The logic is that an army of attacking humans would be forced to go through
them and get considerably slowed down while the monsters evacuate… somewhere.
Where, I don’t know, they’re supposed to be trapped and helpless underground already.
I guess they’re better off never stating it, so that a sufficiently-determined
and murderous human never hears it and, thus, can’t find that location.
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| Not a great boss fight, but imaginative enough I guess. |
One of the more notable elements of Hotland is Not
Sorry, a bonus boss put into the game as a Kickstarter backer reward. He can be
found only if you get to his area precisely on 8:00 PM, on October 10th (which
may require changing your computer’s set date and hour). He’s an awkward,
panicky artist dragon who keeps trying to show you his art, only for it to hurt
you instead. There’s isn’t much to do to fight him, but 11 turns into the fight
he calls it off anyway.
As for Mettaton, he chimes in with parodies of a
cooking show, a TV news report, and a classic musical where he dresses as a
princess, and each time he finds a new way to try to kill you, yet each time
you can thwart his plans, usually with your own smarts or with some help from Alphys or her phone, which is packed with gadgets.
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| Well that mini-game led to a great big pile of nothing. |
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Muffet has one of the msot epic attack sequences in the entire game.
See that on the right? It's nearly a full minute long. |
Of course, there are noteworthy fights on the way
still, such as the two male guards that you can defeat by making them admit
their crushes to each other - awesome LGBTQ+ representation in this game, by
the way - and, later… Muffet. Oh God, Muffet. You step into her webbed-up room
and she accuses the human child to be too greedy to spend a few coins on the
spiders’ bake sale, also accusing the child to be hateful to spiders just like
many other humans. In the ensuing fight, which by the way is extremely tough,
Muffet turns your Soul purple and traps it on lines, and in this fight you have
to move the heart up and down to avoid the obstacles, instead of freely
floating around the Bullet Hell square. Oh, and for added kicks, there is no
Action you can do to quickly spare her - gotta wait long enough for an
underling spider to show up with a note saying you personally haven’t hurt any
spiders on the way to her lair. However! If you bought an item from the
Spiders’ Bake Sale way back in the Ruins, kept it up to this point, and eat it
in front of Muffet, the notice will arrive immediately afterwards, ending the
fight much faster. And you get her respect for not only caring for spiders, but
also giving money to their cause! Sheesh, there was a lot to say for this one.
On the other hand, her song “Spider Dance”, much like
most other themes in the game, can be adapted into a kickass song.
Side-note: Caleb Hyles is awesome.
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| Oh! He knows Toriel! And she loves bad puns! |
In the Mettaton fight that happens shortly afterwards,
Alphys turns your soul yellow and upside-down, making it like a tiny ship that
can shoot bullets at the enemy with Z. And one bullet is enough to make
Mettaton go away again, allowing us to go further and reach a grand hotel at
the end of Hotland. There, we can talk with Bratty and Catty, Alphys’ friends
who speak like valley girls despite being, well, in the Underground. We can
then also meet Sans, who takes us for dinner at the hotel’s restaurant. I’m
skipping over it because my space to write is limited, but it’s a very
heartfelt discussion.
Oh, for the record, the MTT Grand Resort was built in
honor of Mettaton. Definitely not an ego trip though. Nah, it’s just a hotel
with his name on it, it’s not like it’s a shrine, a cult of personality for an
inflated ego! What’s next, Mettaton will try to become ruler of the Underworld?
Good thing it’s a monarchy, not a democracy, or this could get bad.
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| Sorry, Metta - you're not my finale. |
Past the hotel, we walk into the Core, an extremely
hot place built like a high-tech factory of sorts. The place is fairly simple
to explore, few encounters with enemies, few puzzles as well. Soon we reach a
room with Mettaton in the center, and the entertainer locks the exits. He
explains that Alphys had been manipulating everything behind the scenes in an
attempt to look cool and heroic to the human child, but Mettaton has had enough of the
charade and decides to try and take the human soul for himself, so that he can
pass through the barrier and gain more fans in the human world.
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If Bowie exists in the human world of Undertale, then I am
fairly certain Mettaton would do a tribute album to the guy. |
Your original tricks don’t work on him, until you’re
told to flip a switch on the robot. This… doesn’t turn him off - instead, it
brings out his great form, Mettaton EX, who is… well… let’s say he looks about
ready to sing Magic Dance or Ziggy Stardust at me, and let’s leave it at that.
And how do you spare him? By playing along with the showman… bot… showmanbot,
and making a showman of yourself, playing Heel to Mettaton’s Face, bragging
against him… even innocuous actions like using items will boost the ratings of
this televised battle.
Every time you reach a certain threshold of viewers,
Mettaton will reveal his heart and you can shoot at it with Z, since your heart
can do that thanks to Alphys in its yellow form. This will cause Mettaton’s
limbs to blow off. Eventually, when you hit the threshold of 10,000 viewers
(which can be either very easy or very difficult depending on the items you use
- of note, the ratings must reach 12,000 if you don’t blow off his limbs) and
then Mettaton realizes he can’t win. Besides, he is the only real celebrity the
Underground has, he can’t leave his fans behind! He ends the fight after
opening the phone lines and receiving loads of positive messages from fans…
then his batteries run out, because the EX form requires too much energy.
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Of course, if there was more than one elebrity in the
Underground, maybe there'd be something else to watch then. |
Anyway, this means we can finally leave Hotlands and
the Core, and go to the King’s Castle. Alphys follows us for a bit longer
though, trying to remain our friend through this… but I’m sorry, I need to keep
moving forward… to Part 5.
New area: Hotland. Fire everywhere. Whatever. Gotta
find our way through. I doubt we’ll see many folks, since they’re evacuating
the place. And if anybody gets in my way… Hey, why is there a water cooler
here?
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And you? Are YOU going to fight me?
Come on, make me happy. Fight me. |
A force field stops us from skipping steps. And that’s
good, because we have to kill 40 enemies in this area. Hotland is a very large
place. East, we walk into a lab, but it’s empty. Watching the video feed goes “It’s
me, Chara”. I could have sworn that is NOT the name I gave this character.
Further into the lab, we encounter a robot. That’s Mettaton, I think? Yeah, I
remember him. He says that while we were slaughtering the monsters, Alphys was
setting up an evacuation plan to get most monsters to safety. As for Mettaton,
he says the world needs stars more than it needs death (original line says
“corpses”), so he flees. Smart one. I’d flee from myself too instead of
standing in my own way without putting up much of a fight.
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Wait, if that monster is a rope on fire, why doesn't it
burn itself? |
Past the lab, we venture further into Hotland. And, to
the place’s credit, it actually has some pretty tough monsters. Pyrope is a
highlight, as it will usually survive the first hit. Yet again, all the puzzles
are deactivated. There’s no going through a series of lasers, no moving boxes
to shoot an enemy ship. We also encounter two royal guards who decide to fight
the child, but they’re killed very easily. Even more easily than Pyrope! What’s
the point of having them as minibosses if they can’t even survive one blow?
Throughout the area, we also walk through bizarre sets
like a kitchen or a prop castle, stuff that probably have a reason to exist in
some alternate world, like planned scenes in a world where Mettaton plays with the human, but here? Nah. It’s the weirdest filler ever. The
elevator has 4 possible destinations already, yet most of them are gated off by
force fields. Dammit! There’s a bit of a spider bake sale, then another area
where puzzles would normally have to be solved to move forward.
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This kitchen isn't operational.
Shame. I was in the mood for a hot dog. |
I just had a realization: This is fucking boring!
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| And! Down in one hit, yet again. |
Oh, we’re moving into the room with the spiders and
Muffet! That one is such a tough boss on the Pacifist Route! I hope she’s a
moderate challenge here! She does the whole schtick with her spiders, calling
the child a rotten ingredient that can be discarded, and the fight begins. And
yet… with a single blow, off she goes yet again. Some supplementary material
indicates that Muffet had a chance to trap the child in this room forever,
blowing up the exit while she fled, but wanted to stay and fight the child so
her spider babies wouldn’t be alone. And so, with her sacrifice, we can keep
going without anything stopping us.
It just strengthens my point about the Genocide Route:
You become too powerful, and despite multiple bosses on the way, very few of
them pose any challenge. In fact, many of them don’t even fight you. They just…
stand there. How’s this supposed to be fun? I’m… I’m not enjoying this. I only
keep going because I can, because I want to experience this myself, and because
I can then report on it.
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Thsi is the most bizarrely badass line I have read in the
entire game. |
We now reach the MTT Grand Resort, and as you can
imagine, the place is empty. Even the alligator and alley cat in the alley are
gone. We can get, for free, an empty gun and a cowboy hat, decent equipment.
Hey, I wonder if those things belonged to one of the kids murdered in the
King’s plan? Inside the resort, there’s almost no one to be seen. Well, aside
from the Glamburger cashier guy, but he has the shop owner contractual
unkillability. Leaving him alive is a crueler fate than killing him
anyway.
Then there’s the Core. That place looks so boring now.
I mean, I’m sure it already didn’t have much of interest anyway, but this… yeah,
meh. However, with no puzzles to impede your progression, and a quick way
through the maze, you can reach the door leading out of Hotland and towards the
King’s castle. But before that, make sure you’ve exhausted the kill count.
There’s a bridge just before the end of the Core with many different enemies,
including one that actually feels more like a boss than a lot of encounters
seen so far.
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| Not pictured here: The boss-like enemy, |
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| I already was. I played GTA after all. |
We walk through and encounter Mettaton again, standing
in our way. Hopefully his robot body isn’t too impervious to my attacks. The
robot says that the child is not just a threat to monskerkind… but also
mankind. Which makes sense, you don’t become a genocidal monster one day to get
out of a single bad situation and lose that trait when you’re out of it. That’s
how monsters are born. Um… the actual monsters, not folks who are monsters by
species but not by attitude like all the folks underground… all the folks we’ve
been slaughtering… why am I feeling bad all of a sudden?
Mettaton unleashes his newer form, Mettaton NEO, in an
attempt to stall us while the monsters are evacuating the area. He becomes a
bishônen android with a huge armor. And all he does is… block the way. For the
record, he is the final threshold in a Genocide playthrough as, past him, there
are no more random encounters, so if you didn’t exhaust the kill count in Hotland before
getting to him, he sets you into the Neutral Route immediately.
And like I said, on Genocide, he only blocks the way,
doesn’t attack, he just… waits for your moves. And guess what? Like most bosses
before him, he goes down in one hit. For fuck’s sake! Okay, so his robot body
uses up the batteries extremely quickly in this form, but seriously? One hit?
Here’s how I believe this fight would have been better: Mettaton doesn’t
attack, but blocks your way still, and takes a couple dozen hits to die. Boring
fight, but a relatively long one, as Mettaton is genuinely blocking your way
for a decent period of time, allowing Alphys to evacuate more monsters while
you’re busy. How does that sound?
Alas, that’s not what we get. What we get instead is
another boss killed ridiculously easily, then we get to the elevator and can go
to the King’s castle.
Mettaton unleashes his newer form, Mettaton NEO, in an
attempt to stall us while the monsters are evacuating the area. He becomes a
bishônen android with a huge armor. And all he does is… block the way. For the
record, he is the final threshold in a Genocide playthrough as, past him, there
are no more random encounters, so if you didn’t exhaust the kill count in Hotland before
getting to him, he sets you into the Neutral Route immediately.
