You can feel the contempt towards gamers in every single minute of the Super Mario Bros. Movie. I am so sorry for the late Bob Hoskins. |
But the times, they are-a changing. The old,
non-gaming-savvy Hollywood execs are replaced by the crowd that grew up
with Atari, Nintendo, SEGA, PlayStation or Xbox. The kids who loved these
pixelated or polygonal heroes then are now grown adults producing, directing,
script-writing or acting in movies. It’s not uncool nowadays to be a gamer.
Geeks are at the helm of some of the most beloved and profitable franchises in
the history of cinema. They know gaming. The odds are much higher that they’ll
accurately represent video games or gaming franchises.
Even Lady Gaga recently tweeted about playing
Bayonetta!
When you beat Chapter IV of Bayonetta and then realize Chapter V is going to kick your ass ☠️😂 secret #gamergirl THE SHADOW REMAINS TOUGH!!!!!!— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) 4 novembre 2018
I gotta go back to listen to her music now. I just
have to.
The idea of “people getting trapped within a game”
isn’t new. Virtualization is a topic I touched upon before as a common trope of
works about video games or virtual worlds. This movie, however, puts a new spin
on the formula.
Remember Jumanji? That 1995 classic film starring the
late Robin Williams in a crazy adventure about a board game bringing the
terrifying dangers of the jungle into a peaceful neighborhood? Okay, it’s more
complex than that, but the base concept is a magical board game. There was something
similar in Zathura, released in 2005, trading jungle adventure for science-fiction.
And here, more than 20 years after the original film, we have this sequel,
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Get your Guns N’ Roses jokes out of the way
right now.
This one features the eponymous board game of the original,
but in a new flavor. It’s always a risky bet to make a sequel to an adored
classic, especially so long after the original, and especially if you’re going
such a different route from the original. Did this risky bet pay off? Let’s
find out.
Board games, huh? No thanks, last time I played Monopoly, it ended in disaster. |
Some weird thing has to have happened in that boarded-up house. |
Oh, Bethany is smart. But also incredibly self-centered, and phone-obsessed. |
"I guess I'll be writing 'I must not insult the gym teacher' on the blackboard?" "We stopped doing that, the Simpsons made it passé." |
Spencer and Fridge. Getting punished for something that they knew could go wrong. |
Here they are, the four winners of the "Who is Jumanji going to put through Hell today" lottery! |
Hey wait, how come one character has been picked already? |
When the proper game starts,
with an ominous intro (“A game for those who seek to find a way to leave their
world behind”), the four players find themselves sucked into the game, dissolving into it. Please, I’ve had enough last year with characters dissolving
this year… I still got Infinity War PTSD…
Upon landing in the jungle, Spencer takes a moment to
assess the situation. Where is he? What’s going on here? …Where’s his hair? To
his complete and utter shock, he has transformed into Dwayne Johnson! The
others fall down after him; Fridge is now Kevin Hart, Martha is Karen Gillan,
and Bethany is… Jack Black. You heard that right. She’s now in the body of a
50-something, overweight dude. Things are gonna get awkward.
However, it's all going to be there for the sake of comedy. There is no underlying message to be had there about gender change or anything of the like. Even the set-up is a joke, as Bethany chose the character because it said "curvy scientist", so she imagined one of those sexy scientists, not that. This is entirely tongue-in-cheek, comedic, without secondary implications. As a matter of fact, these four actors right now aren’t playing their usual selves; they’re playing the teenagers from earlier, thrust into this situation, which adds a very interesting layer to these roles.
Clockwise: Spencer (as Smolder Bravestone), Martha (as Ruby Roundhouse), Bethany (as Prof. Sheldon Oberon) and Fridge (as Franklin Finbar). |
However, it's all going to be there for the sake of comedy. There is no underlying message to be had there about gender change or anything of the like. Even the set-up is a joke, as Bethany chose the character because it said "curvy scientist", so she imagined one of those sexy scientists, not that.
He's not just the Robin to Dwayne's Batman. He's the Robin to everybody else in the story. |
I will also point out that Jumanji, in mimicking the
style of older games, has given the sole female character a sexy outfit
completely inappropriatefor jungle exploration, something Martha complains about for a
moment. She’s right to complain, those fanservice outfits don’t make sense.
They’re there for eye candy, logic be damned. It could have been a sort of commentary
on that trend of video games, but not only does Martha do nothing afterwards
regarding what she wears, the film certainly likes to linger on her character… For the record, it was apparently a pain for Karen Gillan too, as the makeup tan added for filming attracted more mosquitoes to her, while she also had the most exposed skin of all the actors.
The four teens take a moment to recognize each other,
now that they’re completely different people. They figure out that they’re
inside the game and Bethany panics, because she doesn’t have her phone – oh
honey, I don’t think you’d get a signal here. Then Bethany, as Sheldon “Shelly”
Oberon, gets too close to the water and gets eaten by a hippo, with the others
looking in shock.
Can we throw this guy out and keep the jeep? |
"[reader]? Welcome to Jumanji!" |
Hey, Nigel! Your mom sleeps with the person of bad
reputation of your choice!
“Nicolas Hamel, reviewer? Welcome to Jumanji! I’ve
been anxious for your arrival!”
…I should’ve guessed.
Nigel then explains that the island is in danger, and
that he told them about the situation in a letter he sent to Smolder
Bravestone. Spencer realizes he’s holding a letter, and reading it, the four
see like a movie play in their heads. Or, well, that's what we see. It’s a
cutscene. Damnit, where’s the Skip button in this world…
In the cutscene, Nigel explains that he was part of
an expedition led by Russel Van Pelt, Smolder’s former work partner. This Van Pelt
wished to find the Jaguar’s Eye, a mystical stone in the heart of Jumanji. They
found it, and when Van Pelt took it, he gained control over the animals of this
island. And he lost most of his sanity points in the process. Nigel managed to
steal the stone from Van Pelt and has brought it to the heroes, who are tasked
with bringing it back where it belongs… That is, on the forehead of a giant
cliff shaped like a jaguar’s head. He drops the four in a clearing with a map,
and wishes them goodbye with a rhyme recapping their mission. Nigel also says
that the group should get to the bazaar on the island to find “the missing
piece”.
"The goal for you I'll recite in verse Return the jewel and lift the curse If you wish to leave the game, You must save Jumanji and call out its name. The goal for you I'll rec..." "...Shut up." |
The four begin walking, with Spencer explaining that
since this is a video game, it should have levels that get harder as they
progress. Um… no. Admittedly, Jumanji took a lot of inspiration from Twisted Metal, a game
that came out in 1995, but as a world to explore it behaves a lot more like a modern wide-open sandbox. The characters are free to explore as they please, though
they follow a path recommended by the game through the map, which updates as
they reach new areas.
Speaking of, Spencer finds the map blank, but Bethany
manages to read it. As it turns out, they need to help each other by using
their various skills so they can beat the game. By putting their hand to their
heart, they can even see their character sheet! Let have a look at that, shall
we?
-Spencer Gilpin as Smolder Bravestone: His strengths
are Fearless, Climbing, Speed, Boomerang and a “Smoldering intensity” (which
just means “Takes on a deep facial expression while saying something
dramatic”). No weaknesses. Well, okay – he does have weaknesses, actually; he’s
strong and all, but he’s a strict action character. Physical work and combat
and all that. For everything else, he needs to rely on the abilities of the others.
He can’t read the map because Bethany has that as her ability, he doesn’t know
the animals because Fridge has that as his ability. But when it’s time to kick
ass, he will kick ass.
-Martha Kaply as Ruby Roundhouse, “Killer of men”:
Her strengths are all combat-based (Karate, Tai chi, Aikido and… dance
fighting), just about the worst selection for a girl who hates physical
activity. Her weakness to venom is… mundane. Tell me you haven’t got a weakness
to venom. I bet you have! It’s poison for a reason, it should be killing these characters
even if it wasn’t a weakness.
-Bethany Walker as Sheldon Oberon. Strengths:
Cartography, archaeology, paleontology. Weakness: Endurance. Can’t run for
crap, but if you need someone to read maps or study old artefacts or fossils,
he’s… er… she’s your man… er… Okay, this might be getting confusing. Either
way, Sheldon is necessary to the adventure since nobody else can apparently read
the map, so while Bethany can defend herself (even in this weird situation) and is actually quite smart, the team better look out for her.
It's really weird to address a character played by Jack Black with female pronouns.
It's really weird to address a character played by Jack Black with female pronouns.
-Anthony “Fridge” Johnson as Franklin “Mouse” Finbar:
Three weaknesses, namely cake, strength and speed. How is… How can cake be a
weakness? Is he more at risk of cavities? And strength? Does that mean he’ll
lose a life if someone beans him too hard on the shoulder? On the other hand,
strengths: Zoology and weapons valet. Dude. In Jumanji, zoology is probably the
most OP skill one could have – you know everything about every animal, including how
to deal with them! That’s literally the best ability on the island. And weapons
valet? Sounds lame, but it basically means your backpack is a Bag of Holding
with literally everything inside of it. You could fit a bicycle in there! No
wonder you got so many weaknesses, the game is poorly-balanced!
I guess now is as good a time as possible to end Part
1. This will resume in Part 2.
Don't forget to join the Planned All Along Discord!
Don't forget to join the Planned All Along Discord!
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