Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy: Warped!

Crash Bandicoot 1 – 2: Cortex Strikes Back – Warped! – 4: It’s About Time (Part 1) – (Part 2)

Finishing the trilogy today!

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped!

This guy scares the biggest enemy we've had so far. That
usually means nothing good.

The game begins after the good ending of Crash 2 – the one you get by collecting all the Gems and beating Cortex again. The diminutive scientist’s space station explodes and crashes onto the planet, striking an old temple. Out of it comes an evil spirit known as Uka Uka; if you’ve played the rest of the N. Sane Trilogy, you may recognize this mask as the guy who threateningly says “Game Over” when you lose all your lives. Cortex has been working for Uka Uka this entire time, first by making the animals into smart but docile soldiers, and second by making Crash gather magical crystals. The evil mask was the one trying to enslave the entire planet all along. In an attempt to do it right this time, the mask summons a new, blue-skinned scientist with a clock theme…

Sounds important, I should listen to what Aku Aku is sayi-
Oh, the Bandicoots adopted Polar? Awwwwwwww!

And so we begin in the medieval era, with frogs that turn
into people if they kiss Crash, and lab assistants behaving
as if they were at the renaissance fair.

The wind turns on Wumpa Islands. Aku Aku immediately knows what’s up. The guardian mask of the islands (now voiced by Greg Eagles, whom you might know as Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) tells the Bandicoots about the villainous Uka Uka. He teleports the two to the Time Twister. This floating base owned by Cortex’s new scientist ally will allow the villains to hunt down the Crystals across past eras, since we’ve already found them all in the modern day. It’s up to Crash and Coco to get the Crystals (and the Gems) first, beating out their enemies. Oh, that’s it? We’re doing a Time Heist? Let’s go! I can't wait to see the endgame of that!

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy - 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Crash Bandicoot 1 – 2: Cortex Strikes Back – Warped! – 4: It’s About Time (Part 1?) – (Part 2?)

Welcome back to this year’s anniversary reviews! Today, we’re moving to the next game in the collection!

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Uh oh. He's got a lightbulb moment, and that means
nothing good.

This story begins immediately after Crash 1. Neo Cortex was tossed from his zeppelin and is falling to the islands below. He survives the crash (pun intended) and finds that he has landed in an underground cave where he finds a crystal glowing a faint purple. He gets a new idea…

Turtle armadillo, doesn't matter; you're in my way!

Cut to a year later. Crash Bandicoot and his brainy sister Coco are chilling on their island when Coco’s laptop runs out of juice. Just the usual problem for her, really. And even though she’s playable here, no way she’s going to get a new battery herself! Nah, bro’s gotta do it. Crash thus embarks on this quest. But midway through the first level, he steps on a teleporter and gets abducted. He appears on a space station owned by Cortex and his new assistant, Dr. N. Gin. He is greeted by a giant hologram of Cortex’s face.

"You better not pull out your yo-yo while I am expositing,
Crash! Are you... Hey! I said put that away!"

I see it over there! Yeah. That's the point.
They aren't hard to find. At all!

Cortex says that, although they have been enemies before, he and the Bandicoot need to team up against an even greater threat coming from space – soon the planets will align, and the resulting energy might destroy the Earth. Cortex has found the Master Crystal that can put a stop to this; however, it needs several more “slave” Crystals to have enough power to prevent the catastrophe. the diminutive scientist claims he will need the physically capable mammal to collect 25 Crystals scattered around the world. Cortex will provide the means of teleportation, and occasional commentary on our progress.

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy - Crash Bandicoot 1

Crash Bandicoot 1 – 2: Cortex Strikes Back – Warped! – 4: It’s About Time (Part 1) – (Part 2)

Yeeaaahhhh... I was not a fan. In fact, after playing today's
games, I might like Crash Purple even less.

I don’t know if anyone else reading this knows what the first game ever reviewed on this blog was, way back on July 19th, 2013. Well, it was actually a duet of games for the Game Boy Advance: Crash Purple: Ripto's Revenge, and Spyro Orange: The Cortex Conspiracy. This not-very-ambitious crossover had Crash and Spyro square against each other due to the machinations of their respective villains. The games, developed by Vicarious Visions were… shall we say… not that great. At best, they were tolerable 2D platformers that put much bigger focus on playing mini-games, of all things. Anybody that’s accustomed to Crash’s usual extra-tough 2.5D platforming or Spyro’s 3D platforming likely didn’t get their money’s worth.

Run! Ruuuuuuun!

I bring this up because I haven’t touched either franchise since. That review was 13 years ago. And even on Steam, when I got my hands on the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy and the Spyro Reignited Trilogy, it took me forever to even think of playing them. Well! I’m crossing one of these two off the bucket list for this year’s anniversary review. Maybe the other one next year? Who knows.

I also have Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time among the games I want to cover this year, and I have a little rule for myself: If I want to cover a game that isn’t the first in a series, but I own any that came before in that series, then I will want to cover those previous ones too if it matters. Might as well get this show on the road. I can call it a… Crash course across the franchise.

Also developed by Vicarious Visions, and published by Activision, the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy was released first to PlayStation 4 on June 30th, 2017, and to Steam a year later. It is comprised of remastered/remade versions of the franchise’s first three games, all of which were PlayStation games originally developed by Naughty Dog:

• Crash Bandicoot, released on September 9th, 1996;
• Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, on November 6th, 1997;
• And Crash Bandicoot: Warped, on November 3rd, 1998. This would be the last proper entry for these platformers for about 22 years.

One game per year? Crash is a regular! …Well, not to this blog he isn’t! But I’m looking forward to correcting that. We’re starting this collection of games NOW!

Donkey Kong Country Returns

If there’s a Nintendo platforming franchise I’ve seldom discussed, it’s Donkey Kong Country. I’ve only ever played the very first game, on the SNES, and even wrote a quick “Gaming Memories” article about it some time ago. The two sequels? I’ve never played them, though I know they are available among the Nintendo Classics, and so are all the Donkey Kong Land games for Game Boy consoles. DK 64? Also never played, but I heard a lot about it (as well as all the ways that fans improved its system on emulators). Anything else? Well, I could talk about the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, but the plumber has no business stealing the spotlight today.

This series returned on the Wii. Developed by Retro Studios (instead of Rare, obviously) and released on November 21st, 2010 in North America, this entry sees a return to playing with both DK and his buddy Diddy Kong as a new villain rises on their island. Notably, this game had a port for Nintendo 3DS released in 2013, and an HD rerelease for the Switch in January 2025; today, I am covering the Wii game.

Tiki Threat

Oh, that's a big one. Good. It'll just be more satisfying to
break it into pieces at the end.

A normal day on Kong Island is interrupted by the eruption of its volcano. Out of the bubbling lava come large rocks that break, revealing tiki monsters that instantly cool down in the open air. Along with them, a gigantic tiki monster appears from the depths of the volcano. The deity instantly requests a tribute to appease him. The tikis get to work, hypnotizing the island fauna to do their bidding. They direct the animals to steal… what else? Donkey Kong’s banana hoard, of course!

Sonic Unleashed (Part 3)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3

Time to give Eggmanland a visit, and Eggman a proper beating.

Let's tear it all to pieces.

Eggmanland

I made sure to stock up on extra lives before entering the final stage, as I knew it was going to be one Hell of a ride – at least, from what I had heard. Turns out, I was mistaken; in the Wii and PS2 versions of Sonic Unleashed, the area is split into proper stages. One stage as Sonic, two bonus missions (UGH), then five stages as Werehog Sonic. However, the HD versions (Xbox 360/PS3) are very different in that regard: Sonic can use special hourglasses to switch from day to night, and thus between forms, within the stage. The result is infamous as one of the longest marathon levels ever designed, taking fifteen minutes to finish – and that’s without mistakes. It can take nearly an hour to finish it otherwise. I’m mentioning it for the sake of trivia, as that’s not what happens in the version I played.

Goddammit, I was looking at this from a completely
different angle just a second ago! I lost my groove!

That said, Eggmanland on the Wii is still a long stage that takes five minutes to complete without fault. And it’s got all of the cheapest tricks. I know it’s the final day stage so it has to be tough, but I feel like most of my failures here were caused by poor design. A common issue in Sonic stages is when the camera switches quickly from a side view (for 2D segments) to a back view (for 3D segments where Sonic can move left or right), and this has tripped me up in several areas. As an example, that short bit spent riding a car-shaped roller coaster seat. Due to my ongoing problems with the Quick Step, some late-stage portions were massively annoying, so I opted to pass those slowly instead of speeding through.

Can't tell you how many times I died in places that were
stupid traps, like here, failing to adjust with the angled
terrain and falling off...

Near the end of the stage, you have a straight path with
holes and very little time to Quick Step aside in time.
Considering my bad luck with Quick Step, and that a single
mistake at that point wastes half a minute from you...
I fucking HATED this mission, in case I wasn't clear already.

So the stage is finished, right? WRONG. The next two missions are set in the same stage. The first is a classic “Collect X rings”, and it’s easy. The other forces you through the ENTIRE stage, with an impossible time limit that can only be lengthened by passing through checkpoints. I disliked the original stage, but I HATED that specific mission, as I had to play quickly, and it was stupid easy in specific spots to die and lose several seconds after reappearing at the (somewhat rare) respawn points. Oh, and that mission is MANDATORY. You can’t move on until you do it. Fucking WHY??? This is not necessary! We wouldn’t lose anything if that stage was optional!

Sonic Unleashed (Part 2)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3

In Part 1, I went over both forms of gameplay in detail, and covered some of the plot. Let’s do more today!

In a pickle

Heh. I couldn’t resist making the pun.

Exposition time? Chip isn't listening, he only likes
exposition when he's the one telling it.

Tails takes Sonic and Chip to Spagonia to look for Professor Pickle. In Spagonia, we first meet the professor’s aide, who is also looking for the scientist. Pickle has been kidnapped by Eggman. He is found one continent over, in Mazuri, where he is promptly rescued by Sonic and Tails. The professor asks Sonic to retrieve the contents of a nearby safe, which the hedgehog (in werehog form) does by smashing it open. Well, that was quick! Back at the lab, the man explains that the parchment in the safe is known as the Gaia Manuscripts. Those detail the existence of Dark Gaia, which lives in the planet’s core and is responsible for breaking it apart. In fact, it has done so before. The only way to correct everything is to find the Gaia Temples, one on each continent, and use them to restore the Chaos Emeralds, which will put the planet back together.

My one minor complaint with the Eggman battles in this
game is that all three battles are set against robots that look
and are defeated the same way, even if they do employ
new gimmicks at each fight.

It's not going to be simple, as Eggman is also looking for the temples. Thankfully, we have a foot forward; off to Mazuri again, where the mad doctor is threatening the population. Sonic saves them and Eggman goes away, and the villagers thank Sonic. The village elder reveals that he knows all about the Gaia temples and can even help them by fixing the planet tablet they’re carrying. Each continent has someone, usually an elder, whose duty is to watch over the temple.

At the temple in Mazuri, (regular) Sonic confronts Eggman and battles the doctor’s Egg Beetle. Not a tough fight, though one with a few tricks to be wary of. When that robot is defeated, Sonic gains access to the temple’s main chamber, where a pedestal rises. He puts a black Chaos Emerald in it and it is restored to its original colors. And, bonus, it reattaches the continent to the core. That's one down, we've got six more.

And so the planet-sized puzzle begins putting itself
back together.

Sonic Unleashed (Part 1)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3

The one where Sonic becomes a werewolf. Er... Werehog.

A slow walk out of infamy.

It’s no secret that during the second half of the 2000s, the franchise had a rough patch. Sonic ’06 left a mark, and it took a while for the franchise to recover. The games that came afterwards tried to regain momentum, with varying degrees of success. Sonic Colors was a return to form, but prior games shook up the formula more than fans were comfortable with. So, of course, it is during this period of experimentation that we got some of the wildest ideas.

Hard to describe the concept behind Sonic Unleashed anything other than wild! I mean, I already spoiled it in my first line of text. Not that it’s a huge spoiler; this is exactly what Sonic Unleashed, released in November 2008 on PS2, Wii and Xbox 360 (and in December the same year for PS3) is known for. Like every game that does things differently from its predecessors in an established franchise , a pushback was inevitable.

But hey, you’re here to read my own thoughts on it, right? Let’s get this started!

Everything’s gone wrong

We don't even know what Eggman did, but that's fine,
we don't need to. A beating is in order.

Classic Sonic finale. Eggman has the world in a bind. Sonic shows up on the doctor's flagship and smashes through his army of robots like they were cheap electronics. Eggman arrives in a higher-end mecha that puts up a better fight… and Sonic goes Super with the power of the Chaos Emeralds and smashes that, too, causing a panicked Eggman to retreat to his quarters.

Gee, is there even a game past this? Looks like our buddy has got it all covered. Nothing to see here!

Quick Review: World of Goo

Why did the goo cross the chasm?

How do you do, fellow gooballs?

Created by 2D BOY and released to Steam on October 13th, 2008, World of Goo has quite the backstory. Even on this blog! During my first two years writing this blog, I wrote quick articles (not so different from these Quick Reviews) on the fifty WiiWare demos that were once available on the Wii Shop Channel. That was so long ago. World of Goo was one of those. I got the full version on Steam thanks to a bundle on Humble Bundle. Time to test it once more, then!

Building up towards the pipe, while the world is literally
spinning around? Yeah, that's just one of the many examples
of crazy challenges in this game.

In World of Goo, we witness an island of living goo balls of various types, most of which can connect to each other to form structures, or move around the structures they built. The goal is generally to get to a pipe that’s out of reach, by building towards it. If the first challenge is to get there, the second is to make sure you get there while still having more than the requested number of goo balls. The third, affectionately dubbed the “Obsessive Completion Distinction (OCD)” mode and completely optional, is to do it in the fewest number of moves or in the shortest time. At the end of a level, the extra goo balls you rescued beyond the requested amount are taken to World of Goo Corporation, an endless area in which you’re told to build the highest goo tower possible.

The big differnce between this game and other bridge
builders is that this one doesn't shy away from having
all kinds of weird, wacky contraptions to build off of.

What types of goo balls? The black basic ones, which cannot be reused once connected onto a structure; the green ones, which can be reused at will, and which connect to more of the structure at once; balloons, which lift structures upwards; various balls that cannot be interacted with, and only need to get to the goal pipe; “water” balls that can only connect to one other ball, then drip downwards unless something keeps them up... And that’s only from the first two chapters of four (+ an epilogue). Things only get more complex over time. And that’s before the game adds a “whistle” allowing you to call goo balls towards your cursor!

The goo rescued at the end of the first island gets to explore. However, a story unravels across each new island, with major discoveries by the time of the final chapter... Yeah, that mysterious Sign Painter knows much more than they let on.

Build up to the skies!

So now I had to use literal skeleton goos in order to
cross a wide gap of spikes. Only getting weirder and
weirder with time!

World of Goo sets itself apart from other physics-based building puzzle games by being quirkier than other games in this very limited genre. Every level is something novel and weird, and with that every challenge is fresh and forces you to think outside the box. The types of goo balls, the weight of your construction, every hazard around you, everything comes into play towards the solution. Keep some time aside, as more than a few puzzles will have to be tried over and over. All split over four worlds and an epilogue with their own feel (the music is a surprising standout) and storyline, with a bonus “endless” mode to let you build freely.

In this level, we're basically building a fuse towards a bomb.
And then you still have to build the bridge across the chasm!

The game hasn’t stolen its reputation as one of the earliest successful indie titles, and it is very deserving of its awards and accolades. That said, as I played, I was reminded of how I first discovered this game, and how the PC version felt so much like a port of the WiiWare one, with the entirety of its controls involving the mouse and nothing else. And yet, at the same time, I kept having that nagging impression that this game would be so much more difficult to play while dealing with the imprecision of pointing at the screen with a remote from a distance. This idea works so much better on PC, with better control on what you do. Especially when you have a lot of goo balls to choose from, and speedy reaction time becomes just as necessary as figuring out the solution.

A sequel was released… yep, last month exactly, 16 years later, on Switch and on PC as an Epic Games exclusive (bleh). In the meantime, though, the original game is still available on Steam for 14.99$ USD.

Quick Review: The WereCleaner

If not friend, why friend-shaped?

Cleaning ink spills, sure. I do wonder who had
the strength to destroy the printer this bad, though.

Developed by Howlin’ Hugs, published by USC Games and released on May 7th, 2024, this free game is the story of Kyle, who works as a janitor at a big company. Just the usual: Clean up the messes around the office, wash the graffitied walls, suck up the remnants of last week’s birthday party… However, the CEO throws a wrench in Kyle’s life by forcing a week’s worth of mandatory night shifts on everyone, with no extra compensation. The issue: Kyle is a lycanthrope.

"Mental breakdown"? I call that action-painting.

At night, he becomes a(n adorable) deadly werewolf. He controls himself enough to talk, or to remember he needs to work, but if he’s seen… instincts take over and that witness is dead. Thus, it is in a state of extreme danger to his own colleagues that Kyle puts his janitor uniform over his furred body and gets to work anyway, because rent won’t pay itself. Oh, and Daryl the security guard is having a hunch about an animal in the office…

Whoops, killed the secretary.

You heard that right: A stealth game in which YOU are the danger, and it’s out of care for everybody else that you choose to be sneaky and not be seen. Ooooooorrrrrrr play evil and don’t give a damn if you’re spotted, Kyle’s just gonna have one more mess to clean, like that makes a difference. Your coworkers will also panic if they see a bloody mess you’ve left behind. Can’t leave any witnesses, either.

You move Kyle with WASD and direct him with the mouse. You press the left-click button to powerwash liquid messes or vacuum solid items, and switch between both modes with Q. You can interact with stuff by pressing E. Later in the week, you gain the ability to toss paper balls (using the right-click button) to distract other workers away from you. There's also the option, by pressing Space, to shove a trash bag onto an enemy (as the place has vermin infestations) or onto a distracted coworker (so you can sneak by; it only works if you haven’t been spotted first).

"Hey, who turned off the light?"

Call it a hunch, but I think the employees aren't fans
of those unpaid overtime night shifts...

Only seven levels, one per night, but there’s some replayability here. For starters, you can look for collectibles scattered around the office. Second, you get a special sticker on each night for not killing anybody. Third, you can aim for the 5-star score by beating each level as quickly as possible – meaning going in, cleaning every mess, and leaving in record time. Finally, you can hunt for achievements with very specific requirements (e.g. Kill everyone on the busiest night).

Ooh, someone's gonna die. Bad dog! Bad!

Dripping with black comedy, featuring very family-unfriendly deaths presented in the cutest artstyle possible, The WereCleaner is one of my favorite discoveries this year. Its story is basic, and it’s not particularly subtle in its themes – but the lack of subtlety makes the whole thing even funnier. It plays very well and presents interesting ideas and challenges. It is very short; you can beat it in 30 to 40 minutes, and take 2-3 hours for 100% completion. But then again, when a game is free, you can let something like length slide if quality is present everywhere else.

I'll tell my kids that this was PowerWash Simulator.

USC Games is the game design program of the University of Southern California, and several video games created by its students were published to Steam for free, giving them a first experience in both making and releasing a game. Through titles like The WereCleaner, we may be seeing the start of many promising game developers’ careers. So why not take a stroll down their collection of free games, and see what the creators of tomorrow have to offer?

Quick Review: Urban Trial Freestyle

The apocalypse might not be the best moment to go out biking.

Everybody's gotta start somewhere, right?

A game from Tate Multimedia released to multiple platforms, and to Steam on September 18th, 2013, Urban Trial Freestyle can best be described as a physics racing game. The concept? You’re a thug biking around a city that’s falling apart. Drive across crazy tracks and do tricks in the air. That’s about it, really.

Controls are simple: You drive forward with the Up arrow, then adjust your angle with the Left and Right arrows, substituting for backward and forwards respectively. This lets you spin in midair to do stunts, and it can also let you do wheelies or push your weight forward to keep the front wheel on the ground – important for some uphill climbs.

Jumping into a spinning logo... or whatever that is...
...isn't nearly the craziest thing we do here.

The game is divided into five worlds, each containing 8 levels. Following two tutorials, we jump into the meat of the game, using the most basic bike. There’s not much of a story: Our biker keeps trespassing in hazardous areas, so cops and even civilians try to get in his way. That’s it. No explanation as to why, on top of that, the entire world seems to be tearing apart at the seams. On the other hand, gotta love how the world modifies itself perfectly to provide one uninterrupted 2D path for us to take. Yes, levels are in 2D only. But with that said, it’s more interesting to look at everything that happens in the background, even as we ride through.

Jesus, they're even tossing burning cars at you.

Levels are played in two versions: First are the “no trespassing” levels, in which your goal is to score points by completing the mini-challenges (longest/highest/most precise jump, best stunt) and getting to the end as quickly as possible. Second are the “timed” challenges, which are retreads of those levels with only the time attack element to worry about, and the ghost of another racer to go up against. You can earn up to five stars if your end score or time is excellent. You can also find money bags scattered around, which give an extra 500$ when collected.

Yeah, I'm nowhere close to that yet.

In turn, the money is used to upgrade your bike. Improve your motor, chassis and wheels, and tune your gear to your liking for speed, acceleration and handling. I’d recommend buying everything there first, since most 5-star scores are impossible without a few upgrades to your bike. You can also use the money to buy new helmets and clothes for your biker. However, I’d recommend the upgrades first, as later levels and worlds are locked until you collect enough stars, meaning that you need to perform great to see this game to the end.

Face, meet giant tree. You're not gonna be biking while
healing from that.

Gameplay turns into trial-and-error as you figure out not just the optimal path to the end, the best sequence of actions, but also the best gear for each challenge. Later levels even have a bit of a platformer feel to them, which… yeah, no, those wheels don’t control well enough for platforming, that’ll be a pass from me. That said, failing in this game is its own reward, as you can crash in a multitude of ways, many hilarious. Thought you could make it under that hotel sign? Oops, hit your head. Outspeed a falling subway car? Nope. Getting through that weird installation? Better luck next time! I’ve had some crazy laughs seeing my biker hurt himself in embarrassing ways. Over and over and over.

Oh, you should be DEAD dead.

Hey, he’s the one biking where he shouldn’t.

The madman!

Credit where due, the physics are very good, the stunts are varied, the music’s alright, and for a simple 2D title, it goes all-out with its background action and details. I enjoy the insanity of everything that happens around us as we drive through places where we shouldn't be. Heck, the insanity actually can hurt you, so it’s fun seeing all those near misses until you do get hit. Challenge is present, and getting those five stars will prove tricky on several levels, thus forcing a grind on both money and stars if you want to get anywhere.

Which brings me to the big issue: The campaign. There’s not much of an incentive to see the game to the end. A point comes quick where it becomes a grind for stars (to unlock new levels) and money (to upgrade the bike), and there’s no way around that. Furthermore, there’s eight levels in each world but really only four distinct ones, as each is played twice, once in score challenge and once in time attack with no difference otherwise, making the game quite repetitive. Can't say I'm big on the more platforming-like segments, either. At least there’s the pratfalls to keep one entertained.

Urban Trial Freestyle is currently available on Steam for 6.80$ USD.