VGFlicks: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Part 2)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

So many bikers, against four people on foot?
Not fair.

When we left off in Part 1, the characters had just been taken into the Jumanji video game. So far, they’ve had to accept that they’re now in completely different bodies. And also that they have three video game lives, meaning they can all die twice before they’re really in danger. Speaking of, while Bethany, as cartographer Sheldon Oberon, is reading the map to figure out where to go next, the team is attacked by bikers. On a jungle island, in the middle of nowhere? Jeeps and ATVs perhaps, but wouldn’t bikes be detrimental to exploration? I get it, as the bad guys, Russel Van Pelt’s minions have to look threatening, but motorbikes in this environment don’t make much sense, do they? Hm. Guess Jumanji inspired itself a lot more from Twisted Metal than we thought.

On the other had, Martha is now a super

The team flees, but Spencer and Martha use their skills to defeat some of the bikers – Spencer with Smolder Bravestone’s impossibly good aim with a boomerang, and Martha with her character’s combat abilities. The four reach a waterfall and jump down to the waters below, having no other options. They hit the water and swim to a beach, where Martha realizes she’s been shot… and then poofs in a spurt of blood. She reappears, falling from the sky a moment later, which is when the team realizes that they have video game lives. With Bethany reading the map, they move to the bazaar.

"Alright, this means we can all experience death twice
before actually dying. I'm looking forward to that...
#sarcasm"

But before they can go, some of them need to go to the bathroom. And that’s how, in one of the raunchier moments of the film, Spencer and Fridge have to teach Bethany how to use her current, temporary… um… equipment. Okay, that part is hilarious. Especially Bethany’s amazement regarding the whole thing. It’s like I said in Part 1, this situation is played for laughs, jokes without a secondary meaning, and it’s fine that way.

Fridge... Bad idea to antagonize the nerd when he's
in a body made of pure muscle and strength.

Following that comical interlude, the group travels to a town located on a mountain, and talks on the way. Martha tells Bethany that she always saw her as a self-centered pretty girl, and Bethany calls out Martha for being so judgemental of everyone. Meanwhile, since he was booted off the football team after the school staff realized their agreement over homework, Fridge is angry at Spencer and their quarrel devolves into the former pushing the latter into a nearby pit. Spencer lands back on the ground moments later, and tries to stop Fridge from fighting him because they can’t afford to lose too many lives.

Pictured: Fridge, mere seconds before asploding.
...Hey, is that the guy from Too Many Cooks back there?
After some research... Yes! That's him!

The group gets to the bazaar, and the repeating animations of NPCs indicate that they should be regaining some health by eating. Even though, so far, there hasn’t been any indication of Hit Points, or endurance, or anything of the like. Bethany shares some free bread with the rest of the team, including Fridge who takes a bite. Then he’s told that this was actually cake, and he panics since it’s a weakness of his character, Franklin Finbar. But since nothing happens, he relaxes… only to suddenly explode. Well, that may have been the most telegraphed joke ever! That said, I think there are games where some characters aren’t allowed to eat some particular types of food. I doubt it makes them explode, though.

It's like I said. Zoology > Everything else.

A young girl NPC comes up to the group, and brings them to the next challenge. A hut in the shadier part of town, almost empty aside from a basket in the center. The kid tells a riddle in rhyme, because it’s normal for children to do that, right? The riddle’s last line says that “the missing piece is not what they think”… To face this challenge, the team first thinks someone has to look at the snake without blinking, but that fails and the reptile goes for Martha due to her avatar’s weakness to venom. Spencer catches it in extremis, and Fridge uses his zoology skill to carefully defang the snake, making it harmless. See? I said it before, zoology is an OP ability in this game! The group looks inside the box and finds an elephant statuette wrapped in a paper that says, “When you see me, start climbing”.

Who made this game, the Riddler?

"All this time spent playing fighting games will finally pay off!"

"I'll stand here and look menacing. It's what I do best."

That’s when Van Pelt’s men show up. Using his current video game protagonist super-strength, Spencer dispatches many of the stronger mooks, even calling out his attacks like some anime nerd would in this situation. He even punches one in the air through the roof! He Asterix’d that dude! Van Pelt himself appears, but before a fight can ensue, a smoke bomb is tossed and the group is dragged away by someone else. The four are taken through secret areas of town, through a fairly dangerous sewer path that their savior seems to know like the back of his hand. Spencer figures that this is the fifth character, the one that was already picked on the character select screen – Jefferson “Seaplane” McDonough (portrayed by Nick Jonas). They go through a door and find themselves in a clear jungle area, even though moments ago they were underground. They were in a bazaar in a town located on a mountain, and found themselves on flat terrain – it’s as if they crossed a portal leading across the jungle.

"Weren't we on a mountain just moments ago...?"
"Warp Zone. Don't worry about it."

Their helper presents himself as Alex, the fifth player. Strengths: Driving/piloting, making margaritas. Weaknesses: mosquitos. In the jungle, with mosquitos everywhere? That’s bound to be a problem. Alex takes them to a shack in the area, one that was seemingly built by Alan Parrish of the original Jumanji movie. Continuity nod or a simple Easter egg? You make the call. I love the implication that Alan was stuck in the Jumanji world for 26 years, back when it was still a board game, and yet when it upgraded into a video game it kept Alan’s shack. Alex explains that he lost two of his three lives, so he doesn’t dare to progress further into the game since the risk of getting himself killed is too high, and the next challenge is too dangerous, hence why he stays in this little shack.

"I look over 40 right now, but I'm still too young for
alcohol!"

The group socializes around Alex’s margaritas, which three out of four teenagers spit out after the first sip. I mean, they’re still teenagers, even if now they look like grown adults. Only Fridge asks for more, and winds up drinking everyone else’s glasses. The team realizes that Alex has the abilities they need to move forward, so they team up to sneak into a vehicle hangar. It should be easier to do as a five-person team.

The guards at the front never move from their spot, so the team thinks of a plan: Martha, as Ruby Roundhouse, Killer of Men, will walk up to the guards and flirt with them. However, since Martha doesn’t know how to flirt, it’s up to Bethany (still as Jack Black) to give her a few quick classes. Meanwhile, the guys have a talk and realize, from Alex’s use of 90s slang, that he’s the Alex Vreeke who went missing in the mid-nineties. He thinks he's been stuck in the game only for a few months, but it's actually been 20 years. He’s shocked to learn that he’s been gone for so long.

"Let's get to know each other. Pull up a... CHAIR!" WHACK
(Note: She does not actually make comical quips in the
scene. That's a shame.)

After Martha has learned Bethany’s secrets for flirting, she tries to woo the guards while the others sneak into the hangar. Her attempts are laughable and fruitless. Yeah, she’s not good at flirting. A nearby radio turns on, playing “Baby I Love Your Way”, and she figures that her character’s battle-dancing ability will be more useful. She proceeds to beat up the two men. It’s an odd choice of song. In fact, I thought it was a rule of the universe or something: Gravity exists, the Earth is round, E=MC², Peter Frampton isn’t battle music. With the guards dispatched and more of Van Pelt’s men coming, the group gets into a helicopter and leaves, bursting through the hangar. However, the bullets shot by the henchmen damage the helicopter.

This would be a lot easier if the helicopter wasn't moving!

Now struggling to take altitude, Alex pilots as well as he can, but the vehicle is spiraling out of control and into a horde of rhinos in the canyon below. Spencer climbs up on the helicopter and repairs it himself in order to gain altitude, a difficult and dangerous task that he nonetheless achieves… only for Fridge to lose the Eye of the Jaguar, the jewel that they must bring to the jaguar statue, in the process. After Fridge admits this mistake, Alex pilots the helicopter to go back so the team can get the jewel, but the team needs a distraction for the rhinos, which have gathered around the jewel like it’s their Jesus. So Spencer throws Fridge overboard to be trampled while the others get the precious stone. Oh, they manage to catch Fridge when he respawns, but he certainly won’t let them forget about it. Well, he can cross “getting squashed by rhinos” off his bucket list.

"Mosquito bite... oh fuck.
...Please tell me we hadn't used up our mandatory
PG-13 F-bomb already."

After they land in the clearing, the team (and a justifiably angry Fridge) celebrate this victory. Then Alex gets stung by a mosquito, his weakness, which causes him to faint as this was his last life. In a panic, Bethany runs to the fallen Alex and asks how to do CPR, then proceeds to follow Spencer’s detailed explanation. To their surprise, it works – although why it works is even more surprising when the team realizes Bethany has given away one of her video game lives to Alex in the process, leaving her also with only one. Bethany wants him to survive, so that he can leave the game along with them. Props for the idea, but was there ever an indication that such a thing was possible in Jumanji? It smells like a Deus Ex Machina. Although, to be fair, there are classic games with cheat codes that allow the trading of lives between players. Contra is one example. We can’t be sure that it was an intended reference to these codes, but if it was, kudos to the writers of this film.

It's the second video game movie in a row teaching me CPR.
And I still have Stayin' Alive stuck in my head from that scene
in Ready Player One.

After recovering from his near-death experience, Alex thanks Bethany with a hug, although she couldn’t expect her current anatomy to respond positively to it. Might as well say it outright, it’s a boner joke. Not the classiest joke in the film, but it’s funny.

...that's not quite right.

Later, while Bethany and Alex get to know each other, Spencer uses his current bravery to finally admit his feelings to Martha. The whole love declaration is awkward, and so is her response, even though it turns out she’s into Spencer too. It’s comical to see these two seasoned actors playing the parts of these teenagers who barely know how to declare their love to each other. It crosses into hilarious when they go for a big, Hollywoodian French kiss, which they fail pretty badly due to their inexperience. Worst kiss put to film ever. Before they can try again, Fridge interrupts them with news that he has found the jaguar cliff.

This quest is coming to an end.

That transformation into a monkey is some
terrifying stuff for a kid.
Looked great at the time, though.

So far, despite a few issues here and there, I think this film is very good! I know it’s unfair to compare it to the 1995 Jumanji film, but as a sequel to it, there’s one point I can raise. The original Jumanji was crazy. Balls-to-the-wall, unfiltered crazy. The board game brought the dangers out into the world, leaving the players, as well as the whole town, to deal with them. It included, among others, monkeys; a very dedicated hunter; a lion; man-eating plants; crocodiles; a stampede of various animals; humongous spiders and mosquitoes; and more! Not only that, but one kid tries to cheat and gets almost turned into a monkey; the floor of the mansion turns into quicksand at one points and traps Alan into the wooden boards; the house contains a centralized monsoon and, later, gets destroyed by an earthquake! If you haven’t seen the original, I’m sorry for spoiling some of that, but trust my word – it was insane, and that’s why we loved it. It got dark, but it remained fun, it was bursting with creativity and it kept pushing the madness further.

Two words: Quicksand floor.

We found Audrey II's little brother!

If there’s one point of criticism that I have at the moment with Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, when I compare it to the first film, it’s that it feels toned down. Sure, the video game elements and the transformation of the teenagers into their avatars are important aspects. But other than that, it’s just not as crazy. The film doesn’t feature animals and threats in a variety quite as wide as the original did. There are animals, sure, but they’re not the focus of a lot of scenes. Earthquakes, monsoon, quicksand, man-eating plants, forget them. How cool would it have been if this sequel had a scene with those giant monster plants? Van Pelt goes from a hunter to a dark, creepy adventurer who has gained dominion over animals, yet the movie does very little with this villainous ability. Instead, he sends his biking henchmen at the heroes, which feels pretty bland (not to mention out-of-place) in this environment. If I want to see humans punching humans, there’s a few thousand movies featuring that. Oh, this isn’t bad, I’m just saying that the film, while pretty good, lacks some of the much-beloved insanity of the film that precedes it.

I’ll go into other observations in Part 3.

Meanwhile, make sure to join the Planned All Along Discord server.