Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time (Part 3)

Crash Bandicoot 1 – 2: Cortex Strikes Back – 3: Warped!

4: It’s About Time (Part 1) – (Part 2) – (Part 3)

Back where it all started... But it's not exactly gonna
go the same way.

Assorted Annoyances

This is the kind of game where, if you are not focusing
on getting Gems, you will have a hard time, but it will
be doable. My mistake was trying to go for the All Crates
Gems every time I entered a level.. and suffering a lot
because of it. In my defense, I thought it wouldn't be
that bad, after playing the previous games!

You know what, let’s get the annoyances out before the finale. So, this game is… Well, I have already brought up the difficulty. I think I haven’t made it clear yet. Dying 20 times per level? That was at the beginning. The closer to the end I got, the bigger that number got. It wasn’t rare to die upwards of 50 times in a level’s first go-through, as I discovered, one painful mistake after the other, all the ways in which Crash/Coco/Tawna/Dingodile/Cortex could die. It is, by no means, the only tough platformer I’ve played all year, but it is among the hardest I’ve ever played – and, honestly, I think it might be the hardest I’ve pushed through, all the way to the end credits.

I remember hating the "Run on walls" parts. If your momentum
is stopped, you fall and die. And these parts love to put crates
in your way, so you have to break them. Oh! And combine
that to the gravity shenanigans in later worlds, too! Ugh.

I know I said that the original three Crash games had cruel platforming moments; I found that out as I was discovering them through the N. Sane Trilogy (though, as has been mentioned, the remasters aren’t entirely identical to their originals, which I haven’t really played). In comparison to Crash 4, Crash 1 through Warped! feel like a goddamn walk in the park. And I think a part of that might be caused by Crash 4’s own excesses. The levels are too long, several levels have too many crates, every instance with a Quantum Mask throws something new at you…

A lot fo bonus stages are all about using your abilities at
very specific moments and slapping steel ! crates in
what order, and when, for a chance to destroy every crate.
I miss the simplicity of the average Crash 1-through-3
Bonus Stage.

Speaking of crates, Bonus levels make a return. They keep the system from the remasters: If you die in them, you don’t lose a life, and the Bonus level transporter counts as a free Checkpoint. But! In the remasters, they were generally easy. Well, no more. Bonus levels in It’s About Time decided, “you know what? The player doesn’t lose lives playing these, so fuck it, we’re gonna be insanely hard!” In an utterly brutal game, these manage to be even worse. They often require use of the Quantum Masks, and are designed like puzzle platformers. You must figure out the right path, often backtracking both ways, to break every crate, and in what order, as there is sometimes only one correct “answer” to catch everything. And! Let me remind you that these bonus levels are mandatory, because their crates still count within their level’s total! Can’t figure it out? Tough shit!

Making things phase in and out, including barriers that can
get in your way, while you are also running on walls and
carefully timing your jumps. It's... a little much.

After a while, Crash 4 starts to feel more like a puzzle platformer than just a platformer. In fact, I know I have seen or played games with the exact mechanics brought forth by the Quantum Masks – but usually they aren't all in the same product. Making things appear and disappear to progress? Seen it. Messing with time? Seen it. Gravity shenanigans? Seen it! Hell, even ‘Akano’s ability involves some degree of knowing when to turn the special spin on or off. At the end, you must often adapt to using the masks interchangeably within the same level… or, in the very final stretches, one after the other in quick succession. Crash 4 is basically 4 puzzle platformers in one Bandicoot-shaped trench coat.

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time (Part 2)

Crash Bandicoot 1 – 2: Cortex Strikes Back – 3: Warped!

4: It’s About Time (Part 1) – (Part 2) – (Part 3)

A new ally? And more coming? Things are about to get interesting.

Super-Spinning, Magic Potions, and Funny Costumes

At the end of Salty Wharf, the group finds the second Quantum Mask, as confirmed by Lani-Loli. The new guy is named ‘Akano and he represents dark matter. Though he doesn’t say much, he packs quite a punch.

This is not flying, this is spinning with style!

The next dimension we visit is Tranquility Falls, which looks like a fantasy land. Spyro could live here! The enemy wanting a rematch with our heroes is N. Brio, whose chemical concoctions can do so much they might as well be magic. This world is our first use of ‘Akano. This mask’s ability is a powered-up spin, not unlike an ability gained in Warped!. Unlike the regular spin, it is triggered by pressing the X button (like all mask abilities), and will make the Bandicoot spin and as long as you haven’t pressed X again to cancel it. While spinning through this method, Crash and Coco’s jumps become very floaty, giving them extra reach, and they will instantly destroy any breakable crates they touch. This can be a double-edged sword since the heroes still get hurt if they spin into TNT and Nitro crates.

Ah yes, Legally Distinct Big Green Angry Smasher Guy.

At the end of this world, we square off against N. Brio, and this fight begins similarly to the one in Crash 1 and its N. Sane Trilogy version. In the second round, Brio drinks his own potion and becomes a hulking brute that attacks directly. To damage this form, we need ‘Akano, as the boosted spins are the only thing that can knock Hulkbrio off-stage and hurt him.

Gotta tough out the sonar-style chase sequence.

After N. Brio is defeated, we unlock the N. Verted Mode. It opens a new version of every level beaten so far; and for every subsequent level, an N. Verted version is unlocked after beating the original. A few things change in this new challenge; for starters, Wumpa fruits are replaced by… Grape-like Berries! Gasp! The second is that the stage is horizontally flipped; Bonus stages and 2D sections are crossed right to left, and all 3D areas are mirrored.

Oh, they still haven't learned to swim. They just don't
need to in the Sn@xx Dimension N. Verted.

Each N. Verted world has its own design twist that makes it trickier to navigate – as if they weren’t so goddamn hard already! As an example, on N. Sanity Island, the level will be made of silhouettes, and the place will go dark unless you periodically use the spin, lighting up the area like the ping of a submarine sonar. In Salty Wharf, the world starts in black and white, aside from crates and enemies; several actions will bring back the color, which will stick even if you die. The screwy design changes for the next world, and again in the next, and so on. One world ends up underwater, with all the screwy physics this implies!

Oh, and the Gems return, making for a possible total of 12 for every level; six normal, six N. Verted. Same requirements, too; the only difference is that the hidden Gem is moved to a different spot. Still, good luck getting them all – this takes the game's Gems total from 228 to 456! But hey, at least you can get some cool skins out of them.

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time (Part 1)

Crash Bandicoot 1 – 2: Cortex Strikes Back – 3: Warped!

4: It’s About Time (Part 1) – (Part 2) – (Part 3)

After its first three installments, the Crash Bandicoot franchise seemingly hit a lull. Plenty of games came out, with some following the Mario Spinoff formula: Make ‘em race! Make ‘em go around a board and play mini-games! Platformers still happened amidst all these new concepts, with varying levels of quality. However, fans felt like there was no true return to form until the N. Sane Trilogy came out. This renewed vigor eventually led to the making of a new, proper, “official” sequel to the OG trilogy.

We're starting on known ground.
Don't worry, that's gonna change real soon.

And yes, I played and talked about the N. Sane Trilogy these past three weeks exclusively so I could have the necessary background to talk about this one. Fans had to wait 22 years after Crash Bandicoot: Warped! for it to come out. But Crash 4 finally did, with a release for PS4 and Xbox One on October 2nd, 2020, then to Switch, PS5 and XSXS on March 12th, 2021, then two weeks later on PC. You’ve already seen this game’s title at the top of this article, and it’s very tongue-in-cheek, considering the long time between this entry and the one that precedes it in the strange chronology of the Crash series. For the needs of this story, it acts like no new games happened between the franchise's third and fourth installments; you can bet they will make a joke or two about that. Well then! It’s about time we cover the conclusion of this epic! (…Unless a Crash 5 comes out eventually.) For the record, I am playing this one on Switch.

They’re Back

N. Tropy is a surprisingly much darker villain in this game
than just about any other enemy Crash has ever faced.

Following their defeat in Crash 3, Neo Cortex, N. Tropy, Uka Uka, N. Gin, and for some reason, N. Brio as well, are stuck in a place out of time. They’ve been stuck there for what feels like decades. (I mean… at least two of ‘em). Cortex keeps self-pitying over his repeated failures, while Uka Uka attempts to open a portal to get them out of this place and back to the world they desperately want to take control of. In a stroke of luck, the evil mask finally makes a tear through the fabric of reality that will allow them to return, but the task is so exhausting that it falls unconscious. The scientists opt to escape while leaving the commanding, nasty mask behind. In its place, Nefarious Tropy, the time master, takes leadership of the group. He’s already seeing far beyond full control of the world…

Garry's Mod

Hoo boy, where to begin. Where indeed. There’s just so damn much to say about Garry’s Mod. Well… for starters, it’s not so much a video game as it is a physics engine that allows for an insane level of creativity on the part of its users. …Yeah, that’s the short version. I don’t think I can properly review this as a video game, as it really is more like a tool to create games… or to have fun putting items together and seeing how they interact. Unless the games made by its users count as the game itself. Anyway!

Developed by Facepunch Studios and published by Valve, Garry’s Mod was released on… November 29th, 2006. Almost 20 years ago. That makes it one of the oldest products in my Steam library. When this game came out, my French-speaking ass was still learning English in high school!

Everybody has to start somewhere. Me? I got myself
crushed by that tower. That's how I found out that we
still have HP during sandbox/construction...

Officially, this software was created by Garry Newman, a developer from Valve who worked on Half-Life 2. The original, titular mod was just that game with a few additions; but then this expanded into a full sandbox game comprising not only H-L2’s physics engine and assets, but also the assets of other games made with the Source engine. Notable ones include Left 4 Dead and Counter-Strike, as well as possibly the biggest name out of all of them, Team Fortress 2. The only requirement is that you own the other base games in your Steam library in order to access the assets.

If you ask me, the funniest thing about this article is that I took so long to get around to talking about Garry’s Mod that Facepunch Studios released a sequel in the meantime; S&box came out last April, roughly 19 and a half years after its predecessor. But let’s focus on Garry’s Mod, or as it is also known, GMod.

I could decorate a cozy home with this stuff.
Too bad this field isn't much of a house!

Full disclaimer here, I did play a few hours of this game in preparation for this article, but not dozens, so I obviously won’t have the experience of others who've spent hundreds of hours on it. Heck, this article will be less like a review and more of an informative thing. Though, it will have some of my impressions based on what I’ve tested. I wasn’t even sure whether I could cover this product correctly, it’s just a sandbox after all; as a result, expect this to be less about the game itself and more about what others have made from it. Honestly, I’m coming in so late to this that it’s probably the best I can do; celebrate how this program was used and how it left a mark in gaming history.

New Pokémon Snap (Part 2)

In Part 1, I covered a part of the plot and went over many of the game’s features. Well, there’s more to say today!

Fantastic Photo Features

Yes, Corsola! Get to the apple!

This new Snap game takes full advantage of the abilities of the current consoles, and takes cues from all the ways people have gained to edit their own pictures on smartphones. The photo edit feature is accessible from the Photodex in the Lab.

Cel-shaded is great. I would play a cel-shaded Pokémon game.

First is filters; at time of writing, I had found 15 out of 20, from classic black-and-white and sepia to greater changes like cel-shaded, a comic style, a fish-eye lens, or pixelated. Second is stickers, which can be added to the picture: Symbols, facial expressions, effects and speech bubbles. Finally, special frames can be added for extra flair. Filters, stickers and frames are unlocked through gameplay, by earning research titles and by completing pages of the Photodex.

Still not enough? You can use this menu to add your own caption to the picture, upload it online to your New Pokémon Snap page, or download it to your console’s photo album, if you like it enough for that.

Most of these settings make changes so minute that only a
photographer with real experience would be able to tell.
The biggest exception is the brightness, of course.

Another feature added is the Re-Snap, which you can access after your run through a course has been scored by Mirror. You can take any of your pictures (doesn’t need to be one that the Professor scored this round), re-frame it, and change the brightness, blur, focus size, or focal point; you can even put new filters or change the caption! However, since this can only happen after the scoring’s been done, it doesn’t really matter. It’s just a pleasant extra that allows you to do the perfect shot out of a photo that wasn’t perfect to start with. It’s not pointless, but if you’re playing for scores and exploration and not for the creativity aspect, it won’t be what you’ll gravitate to.

New Pokémon Snap (Part 1)

Through the years, I’ve seen a lot of franchises attempt ideas outside of their usual perimeters – as a result, I’ve seen both crashes and burns, and massive, unexpected successes. I don’t think it’s any surprise to say that Pokémon Snap is in the latter category. Released on July 26th, 1999, the Nintendo 64 game featured Todd Snap, a young photographer tasked by Professor Oak with taking pictures of all 63 Pokémon species found on an island.

For a franchise still in its early days, this came out of left field! The game, while short, had everything going for itself. It tickled that desire for gamers to hunt for better scores. It had unlockable tools and mechanics to get different reactions from the photography subjects. And there were plenty of secrets that could be found by just trying things and seeing what happens.

Catching the three 'puff on film is fun. Pissing
them off by playing the flute is even better.

This idea took a long time to return, which always felt odd to me; just make one at every Generation, add new Pokémon and locations, and that should be it, right? Imagine the possibilities! And yet, despite many attempts, several plans for a second Snap game didn’t make it far. Photography didn’t truly return to the franchise till Pokémon Sun/Moon; that side-quest felt like Game Freak testing the grounds. Even though their fans had been asking for this for 17 years by that point! Finally, our prayers were answered, with New Pokémon Snap releasing on April 30th, 2021, on the Nintendo Switch.

With all this time between installments, surely the system has been massively updated, right? Let’s take a look.

Welcome to the Lentil Region

This time, our character is an avatar representing a child. He is greeted on the first island of the Lentil Region by Professor Mirror and his assistant Rita. They direct the Laboratory of Ecological and Natural Sciences, or L.E.N.S., on Florio Island.

A Prof in Pokémon without a tree name? That's rare!
Also, neat pun for the name of the laboratory!
P.S. These screenshots come from the playthrough by
MunchingOrange. Go check it out!

Exploring the Itch.io Collection #5

It’s been a while since I last did one of these! I figured I would do one to fill in while I make my way through larger games that take longer to finish.

Last month, I spent an entire week re-making the list of games in my collection over on itch.io, because I felt the original was incomplete and I wanted to make it feel right. The result? Well, instead of about 800, I actually have 1269 games to check out. That’s without counting the 80 I covered last year, or the other 26 I already had on Steam and which I have either already played or will play in the future, for a grand total of 1375 games. …I know, that’s a lot. And more than 500 of them don’t have recorded times on HowLongToBeat.

Most of today’s article was written last year. I added to it after every super-short game I played. A few of the ones covered here, though, have been played this past week. I can’t promise to cover 80 games like this once again in 2026, but any progress will be good. Especially with those revised numbers.

As stated in the Index, I have this page where anyone can see the games I have already tested on the platform. You can always go back to it to see how much progress I’ve made in that collection, or which games are coming up in the next article. I still include a link to every game I discuss here, since I am giving visibility to everything I cover in these articles, and you can go check out each one. Even if I didn’t like one of them, you can go check it out for yourself; maybe YOU will enjoy it!

Experiences

Can I at least get a glass of water to help that
block of brick and sand down?

The Indifferent Wonder of an Edible Place: In the fashion of taking a metaphorical image for a real issue and making it literal, in this game you are someone who eats buildings to make them disappear. This is accompanied, and inspired, by a poem from 1960, translated to English in 1983, about the historical erasure done by the state of Bombay. In the game itself, you are told to eat specific numbered pieces of a large tower. If you don’t eat the correct piece, your character gets poisoned and is incapacitated for a moment. You can use the scope with the right-click button to figure out where the next “correct” piece is. Either way, this is history you’re making disappear, with no way to get it back.

If you see a giant green eye under war trenches, I think you
may be suffering from something worse than PTSD.

Please follow: A walking simulator/horror/puzzle combo in which you play a lone soldier venturing into the tunnels dug by the enemies and find… something. Deeper into the tunnel, there are puzzles involving worms, giant leeches, and other supernatural stuff. This short exploration ends with a freaky acid trip. The game’s look is very “early 3D” of video games (think N64 or PS1), the sound design grossed me out the entire way through, and the visuals…. Jesus, that’s freaky. It’s horror alright.

Quick Review: Guns of Icarus Online

For a moment, I was afraid I’d have two game eulogies this year; turns out, there’s only one (it’ll come later in this set of Quick Reviews), but... today's title has definitely seen better days.

Enemy on the left! Uh... how do we say left on a ship
again...

A creation of Muse Games released on October 29th, 2012, Guns of Icarus Online is a multiplayer game about operating steampunk airships and going at war against other factions. Before I start, I want to say that, like pretty much every multiplayer-only game in my collection, this one has been sitting a long time unplayed; I received it in a Humble Bundle back in February… 2017. At a time where I can safely assume the game was a lot more active. And though it’s still receiving occasional updates, unless I’ve played at a particularly slow time, the playerbase appears to have gotten low - the most I saw on my first session was 9 players online at a time.

Say hello to my friend Mortar! You've already met Gatling.

The game features multiple factions warring over a large map, taking, stealing and reclaiming territories, similar to other multiplayer games I’ve played in the past (such as For Honor). However, combat is exclusively dogfights. Each airship has a crew of four, the captain steers (forwards, backwards, turning left or right, and ascending/descending), while the other three can man the ship’s weapons or fix any machinery that gets broken by enemy fire. You don’t need to have four human PCs on one ship; all it takes is one. However, the captain must always be a human player, so if you’re on your own, your job is automatically to drive. I imagine the big interest in this one is to have a full team of four communicating and coordinating their efforts to both get to the guns in time to shoot down enemy ships that come close, and repair what needs to be. The tutorial focuses a fair bit on repairing and maintaining the ship, with piloting as its final course.

Hell yeah, I'm on fire! Wait... No! Ahh! I'm on fire! Ack!
Quick, the extinguisher! My gun is on fire!

There's a wide variety of battle types and matchups. The friend I played with and I went through two modes that could be played between the two of us; together as a team against CPU enemy ships, whichever team destroyed three ships of the opposing team won; and me versus him, attacking each other across the desolate deserts, broken cities, and graveyards of giant dead machinery. (And him wiping the nonexistent floors with me, ‘cause he has more experience with driving/piloting games than I'll ever have – but hey, I got to test the game, that’s what matters!)

Nothing a little percussive maintenance can't solve.

The tutorials cover every position, so you should know how to operate no matter where you land on a team. You have Practice options to play on your own, summoning enemy ships at will to train yourself, or playing against CPU pirates. Multiplayer has 5 modes allowing for varying numbers of players and teams (2v2, 3v3, 2v2v2v2, 4v4, and King of the Hill Mode can be an 8-player Battle Royale). There’s even Skyball in there – whatever that is.

I do wish there was a mini solo campaign to this thing, it
would be interesting to have. I could have taken more
piloting skill tests like this one at the end of the tutorial,
where we're driving through canyons.

Add to this a ton of options for your secondary tools when driving and many choices to customize the look of your personal ship (though a lot of cosmetic stuff is locked behind real money) and weaponry loadout (lots of different gun and ammo types). Like I said earlier, I can imagine what Guns of Icarus was like at the height of its popularity, and even a few years after that; the concept is interesting, the controls and mechanics take some getting used to but can make a seasoned player a definitive threat on a map, and there are enough lore and details to have players care at least a little about the story.

Hello, pirates. Time for you to go down.

However, though I still linked to it and tell its current price at time of this article’s publication, I don’t know if I can “recommend” it, not nearly 13 years into its existence and with such a massively decreased player base. Unless you buy copies for all your friends as well, but even then, I don’t know how much mileage one can get out of it at this point. Same for the update, Guns of Icarus Alliance, advertised in the base game.

Still, if you’re interested, Guns of Icarus Online is available on Steam for 4.99$ USD. I also don’t know how much longer still it’ll be available for purchase, after all this time. But hey – not a eulogy for once!

Pokémon Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon (Part 4)

Pokémon Sun/Moon: Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5 – Part 6

Pokémon Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon: Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4

Finishing this today!

Ending the Island Challenge

What will Primarina do? Oh, it has options.

With the Necrozma crisis resolved, we can finish our trip across Alola. Nic talks to Mina to go directly to her boat home on Seafolk Village. She presents her trial: First, he'll battle her Fairy-type team. After she’s defeated, her true challenge begins, and it requires minimal work on her part. Mina gives him one petal. He's told to go battle some of the trial captains (Ilima, Lana, Kiawe, Mallow, Sophocles, Acerola) and collect their petals. Then, bring back the whole flower to Mina to lure out the Totem. A clever idea that doesn't actually force you to backtrack across the whole game, but it feels like a challenge worthy of the final trial.

Go, Sophocles, give it all you got!

I find it funny just how many of the Totems we fought
we Bug-types. Maybe Guzma was on to something.

Every trial captain has a team with levels in the 50s, and these battles are throwbacks to previous events. You don’t fight every captain; You always fight Ilima and Kiawe, but Mallow and Sophocles are fought in Ultra Sun (with the latter bemoaning that his friend Molayne is leaving), while in Ultra Moon you fight Lana and… Acerola isn’t available, so you re-fight Nanu instead. We even get a scene with Guzma, at Aether House's entrance; he has turned over a new leaf. Return to Mina, and a Totem Ribombee is summoned; it can call for Blissey or Pelipper for help. When it’s defeated, Nic gets the Fairium-Z.

After which, we take on Poni’s grand trial, which means fighting Hapu’s Ground-types. This takes place on Exeggutor Island, and she couldn’t be happier to occupy her new place as kahuna. Victory nets Nic the Groundium-Z, and an invitation to meet the Elite 4 at the top of Mount Lanakila.

This place has more visitors than when I last visited.

As a repeat from Sun/Moon, Gladion awaits at the mountain’s elevator, and gives his all in a memorable battle. His team includes Type: Null, freshly evolved into Silvally. Once again, he loses, but is quite proud of how far they’ve all come through this adventure. After which, it’s Mount Lanakila; it’s roughly the same, with two major differences. The first is the dozen Trainers to be fought in there. So it’s not a Victory Road with puzzles to solve – but it feels more like one than before! The second: This is where you can find Necrozma, back to its basic form. It can be caught.

Huh, didn't know Hawlucha could have a poison move.

There’s still a Pokémon Center at the top, but no Hau battle. Kukui waits at the entrance, inviting Nic to go through and become the first Champion. The loadout of the Elite 4 has changed. Hala is replaced by Molayne, Sophocles’ friend and a Steel-type expert. The other three members (Olivia the Rock-type user, Acerola the Ghost-type user, and Kahili the Flying-type user) have teams swapped around, each with one or two Pokémon that differ compared to S/M. Can’t leave once you begin – either you beat all four, or you lose. Once you’ve won, you gain access to your throne as new champion of Alola.

Lycanroc is past-Rock-type. Uh oh.

But it won’t be that easy! Who comes in to contest your title and claim it for themselves? Nope, not Kukui; it’s Hau. The final boss is your rival. I preferred having Kukui as my true opponent, as the Professor’s team was unpredictable; but you’ve been fighting Hau regularly, so you have some idea of his team loadout. The starter weak to yours, an Eeveelution strong against your starter, an Alolan Raichu, and three more… He’s appropriately tough, and deserves being the final opponent for the main game.

Yay to Alola's first champion! Woo!

Hau loses. He looks sad, but takes it well. The new Champion of Alola is celebrated on Melemele Island. We get vignettes of what other people are doing; Guzma renounces the criminal activities of Team Skull, but his gang will follow him no matter what he chooses to do next. Gladion leaves to train in another region (instead of Lillie). This time, we’re not taken aside during the party to fight Tapu Koko; nah, that’s later.

Postgame

So, what else is there to do? There’s a big one, but first: Everything else.

After becoming Champion, Nic is approached by the Ultra Recon Squad. At least one Ultra Beast was spotted on Poni Island, and we must catch it. It’s a different species in each version: Blacephalon in US, Stakataka in UM. There's two to catch, so you can trade one for the other.

Great, one more clown out there.

Ah, yes - Cosmog "Get-In-The-Bag" Nebby II. Or just Nebby.

Catching stuff: Everything in the Ultra Wormholes, including the original seven Ultra Beasts and all Legendaries, but also every species you can find using QR codes. And, of course, the one we’ve been forgetting: Zygarde, waiting in Resolution Cave, northwest of Poni Meadow. The four Tapus can be battled and caught. You can retrieve Nebby from Lillie at Mahalo Trail – and using the opposite Altar on Ula’ula, you can obtain an additional Cosmog to send to the other game and evolve into the Legendary you don’t own yet. You can get your own Type: Null as well!

I do wonder what I could do, yeah.

Is battling more your groove? The Battle Tree still rests at the end of the Poni Gauntlet, a trek across the fourth island. The mode's three battle types of battle are now split into Regular and Super versions. In Regular, your Pokémon keep their current levels (all opposing Pokémon are still Level 50), while in Super, your team’s levels become 50 if they were higher. Kukui can be fought and added as a battle partner in Multi. The real difference is that, this time, you can purchase every Mega Stone, even those of Pokémon outside of the Alola Dex. (The Beach Points from Mantine Surfing can be used as currency here!)

All the Tentacool, way too many Tentacool.

Then you can look for every Z-Crystal, including species-specific ones; every Totem Sticker, and the Totem Pokémon you receive from Samson Oak as rewards; level up your Festival Plaza, almost unchanged from S/M, and get the bonuses from it (…less interesting without the Wi-Fi connection); and get the highest score on every Mantine Surfing course, which can net some nice rewards, including a Surfing Pikachu.

Damn, to go from a small-time crook and reject of society
to potentially Alola's champion... Mad props, Guzma.

Title Defense returns once you’ve defeated the Elite Four a second time. After you've gained access to your throne, you have no idea who you’ll be battling next. One month after seeing the credits for the first time, you can encounter Gladion, whose Silvally is equipped with the Memory of the type strong against your starter. Other returning opponents include Hapu, Hau, Kukui, Plumeria, Ryuki, Sophocles and – yep – even Youngster Tristan! There's two new opponents, and it’s awesome to fight them here; the first is Guzma, the second is Lusamine.

But this all pales compared to…

Episode Rainbow Rocket

Yeah, I bet you'll tell us. Ready to gloat, huh?

Nic is called in a panic by Sophocles, who says Festival Plaza is overtaken by a group wearing black and red. Team Rocket have showed up. You can beat their grunts. Is that all? Nope! Aether Paradise is in turmoil; Lusamine’s mansion was transformed into a giant castle emblazoned with a large multicolored R. There are Team Rocket Grunts on the way to the castle. Lillie is ready to help Nic, mostly providing quick heal to his party.

They face Faba, who reveals himself as a turncoat; anything to further his career! This dude is ready to team up with ecoterrorists, omnicidal maniacs, psychopaths, genociders, and the mafia, all at once, if it means going up in rank; what a piece of shit! He engages a double battle with another Aether employee against Nic and Lillie. After they're beaten, we can move on and weed out the evil.

While exploring the Castle, the kids are cornered by more grunts. However, Guzma shows up to help! He’s mighty pissed at what happened at Aether, so he lends a hand. Guzma and Nic fight the grunts and win. Guzma will stay back to make sure no other grunts attack by surprise, while we deal with the rest of Rainbow Rocket.

Guzma gets a redemption arc - Hell yeah!

For the record, MunchingOrange is using here a special
emulator that boosts the image quality of the 3DS games
played on it. Not sure whether I'd be at risk naming it, so
I won't.

Nic explores the castle and encounters the leaders of the previous villainous teams, starting with Archie (Team Aqua) and Maxie (Team Magma), met separately. They both state they were pulled from a world in which they had won, where there was no exceptional Trainer to stop them, but where they were about to die. These games predate Spider-Man: No Way Home, yet that’s exactly the feeling I’m getting. Each of them has access to their Legendary (Kyogre and Groudon). Giovanni never told either of them that the other also was in Rainbow Rocket, since they both hate each other and have opposite goals. Once they’re defeated, they both find out the other was here too, but they’re teleported back to their worlds before they can come to blows.

Nic accesses the upper floors, where he battles Cyrus of Team Galactic (who owns Dialga or Palkia), and Lysandre of Team Flare (who has his Mega Gyarados, and either Xerneas or Yveltal). I'm always down to beat up a Nazi allegory. (Yep, I still hate Team Flare with fiery fervor.) Beating these two reactivates the teleporter in Lusamine’s room.

Was gonna say I should have kept the Alolan Raichu
nearby, but then I remembered that Mega Gyarados
is part-Dark.

He dared hit Lillie? Okay, new plan: Shoot this asshole
till his remains are unrecognizable.

Before we can use it, Ghetsis comes out, wearing his fucking tacky tower dress. The dude is already thinking of multiversal conquest, by way of stabbing Giovanni in the back. Yep, that’s Ghetsis alright. This guy will always deserve an ass-kicking. His team is topped by Zekrom or Reshiram. After he’s defeated, Ghetsis slaps Lillie and threatens to kill her if Nic doesn’t surrender. Never mind the Pokémon, he should get fucking shot for hitting a child. However, Colress (who worked with Aether) shows up to rescue everyone. The scientist has invented a device that can create small wormholes that can send these guys back where they came from. Which he did to the others, and does to Ghetsis. Good riddance.

In the playthrough I use, Mega Mewtwo X was beaten
in just one hit. Some final boss...

Giovanni awaits in the secret lab, and he’s tough. Final boss of the entire handheld era of Pokémon. His team is mostly Ground-types, with one exception: A Mewtwo, which he boosts with a Mega Stone (in Ultra Sun, I fought Mega Mewtwo X). He's tough, but he is defeated, and when he disappears, the mansion returns to normal. Lusamine is fine. All Faba gets for his treason is to be demoted to intern. Not even banned? We’re too kind to these types. A final scene shows that this vile version of Giovanni may reappear someday…

Alright, let’s wrap this up at last.

Final words

Well, now you have!

Comparing Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon to their predecessors is inevitable; these new games take a lot from Sun/Moon and replicate most of what they offer, but try to improve everywhere they can. For starters, the story: I think I personally preferred Lusamine as the villain, as she gets reduced to a damsel in distress here. (Twice, if we count Episode Rainbow Rocket.) While the concept of the Ultra Recon Squad is interesting, I think these games don't do enough with it. And although Necrozma makes for a very memorable, climactic boss and antagonist, it will probably be remembered far more for the big battle against it than for everything else.

A few trial challenges are massively improved,
so there's that.

The Island Challenge "story" barely changes, which leads to the awkward position where the Ultra games’ plot is too like S/M, with minimal differences in scenes and NPC encounters – it makes the first half a slog if you’ve played the previous games. (The railroading tutorial that is all of Melemele doesn’t help, since it has several more things to teach you.) On the plus side, many secondary characters get even better moments to themselves, like Hau who learns to get serious in his Training even if he can still have fun, or Guzma who gets a redemption arc. Your mileage may vary on which story is better; S/M or US/UM? There are good arguments either way!

To say nothing of the Totem battles, which all
employ new tricks and are more difficult
to deal with!

Gen 7 compensated on the criticism of Pokémon X and Y being too easy by ramping up the difficulty – and the Ultras may be the mainline series’ hardest games, period. Trainer levels are higher, and opponents use tricky strategies. Even the Trials, Alola’s centerpieces, are modified to present tougher challenges, especially for those expecting the Totem Pokémon from S/M. Ultra Necrozma is so hard you practically must cheese the fight to win it, and the Rainbow Rocket episode pits you against powerful teams. Speaking of, both that episode and the possibility of catching most Legendaries makes these games a great tribute to, as well as a last hurrah for, Pokémon’s handheld era.

Gameplay was streamlined; 101 extra Pokémon to find and catch in the Alola Dex, areas for special evolution types are available sooner, and several tweaks were applied to improve the experience. While no new Alolan forms were added, four new Ultra Beasts and a Mythical were added.

You can reasonably sink a few hours into
the Poké Finder, the Pelago, Mantine Surfing,
the Battle Tree, the Ultra Warp Ride, and so
on and so forth.

Most of the major features return, all improved a bit; the Festival Plaza (with new facilities), the Poké Finder (new Pokémon to catch on film), the Poké Pelago (more species, new items to be found by your adventuring Pokémon). None of these are given tremendous boosts, but there’s a little something. There was also an attempt at improvine the Rotom Dex, by making it more like a virtual buddy, but it comes with the downside that it becomes annoying once it’s at max friendship with the player, blocking use of the bottom screen to give unsolicited advice at every scene transition. The only saving grace is the Roto Powers, which do end up being useful.

Some Legendaries are locked behind owning
two previous Legendaries (ex. no Kyurem
until you have both Reshiram and Zekrom).

Trading the Zygarde cells and cores for Totem Stickers isn’t bad, since you get unique rewards for collecting them. Mantine Surfing is addicting, there aren’t tons of rewards to it (though the Surfing Pikachu is nice), but it scratches that itch of going for high scores. To say nothing of the Ultra Warp Ride, found late-game, and everything you can find through it – boosted shiny chance, lots of Legendary Pokémon… that one made the price tag worth it.

Yes, Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon have more content. Just enough to feel like fuller, more complete games. Spend long enough playing them and you won’t feel like going back to Sun/Moon for any reason. Reception was average at first at the thought many fans had of replaying essentially the same games just a year later. But hindsight has since done its thing and we can safely say that these games "eclipsed" their predecessors. (Heh, see what I did there?) You aren’t getting a bad game if all you've got is Sun/Moon; but given the option between these two or their Ultra releases, go for the latter.

Phew! I hope I’ll never have to do another 10-part anniversary review again! Wait, something's not right...

"Pew!"

…Nebby, get back in the fucking bag!