Asterix & Obelix XXL: Romastered

"Netflix? Never heard of him. Is he from Lutecia? Is he
a distant cousin of Danceremix? Or Pockystix?"

I am a huge fan of the Asterix series. Up here in Quebec, that franchise is such a part of our collective nostalgia that its movies are the must-watch non-Christmas movies around Christmas. I won't defend all of them, some of the older stories and movies haven't aged well. But the franchise is still alive and kicking, even getting a full CGI series released on Netflix on April 30th this year! Even the new books have kept their flair, lampooning modern events.

There are many Asterix video games out there, though if you’re American you may not have heard of most of them due to the series being much more popular everywhere else. Today’s game is Asterix and Obelix XXL: Romastered (also available on GOG), released on October 22nd, 2020 for PS4, XBOne, PC and Switch, and a remaster of a game from 2004 originally released on PS2, GameCube, PC and GBA. This one is more of a platformer, so let’s see how that goes!

Village in Peril

Free knuckle sandwiches for every Roman!

After a day hunting wild boars in the forest, Asterix and Obelix return to a village invaded by Romans and all the villagers gone! One weird guy at the entrance, wearing a Gaul mustache and Roman robes, claims he's a former spy for Julius Caesar who has chosen to help the Gauls. He knows Caesar’s secrets, and will help the two. The villagers have been sent to other places conquered by Rome.

You play as both Asterix and Obelix, but you don’t choose which one you play at any specific moment; most of the time, you’ll be Asterix, unless the situation requires Obelix’s permanent enhanced strength. Base controls on PC: Moving around with WASD, moving the camera with the arrows, and attacking with E. Dash forward with F, or grab a stunned Roman with R and use him to hit other enemies. You can press X to send Dogmatix out to bite an enemy's ass, stunning them.

The game is as classic an early 2000s platformer as can be; jump around, defeat enemies, collect “money”, find hidden secrets. Alright, let’s explain these one at a time. Jump around, well, both Asterix and Obelix can double jump.

In all fairness, it would be weirder if this was an early-00s
platformer where the characters DON'T double jump.

Combat has a few things of interest, like how you can extend
your base health from three to six shields, or how an enemy
about to attack is indicated by a growing thunder symbol
on their head, allowing you to plan ahead and avoid some
of those attacks. Basic move is still limited to the E key
and nothing else, though.

Defeat enemies? No stomping; it’s gonna be good ol’ fisticuffs. Weak legionaries will take three punches to go down, even from Obelix. It’s weird that Asterix is as good in combat as Obelix, even without magic potion. You’ll frequently end up in areas where the way to the next zone is blocked off unless you defeat a specific number of enemies – you’re going to mash that attack button over and over. The Gaul you’re not playing as will help, if he’s not stuck elsewhere. If you find a gourd of magic potion, Asterix becomes invincible and he will tear through Romans quickly. (Your health is represented by shields, and can be replenished with extra shields or wild boar legs; you can beat up wild boars to get them.)

Oh, Obelix? He can't have magic potion. Don't tell him, he's sensitive about it.

Not pictured: The helmets in every single crate.
It adds up really damn fast.

The currency here is Roman helmets. Legionaries' are worth one, centurions' are worth 10. Defeated enemies drop them, and they're found on the path and in crates. Regular crates can be destroyed by both Gauls, while steel crates can only be destroyed by Obelix (or Asterix with potion) and usually contain Centurion helmets. You can find multipliers (3X, 10X, etc.) to collect even MORE. The issue? They are every-freaking-where. You’ll collect literally TENS OF THOUSANDS of helmets. Sure, you can buy a few things with them, but there’s so damn many that it feels like picking them up is all you’re doing. Deep into the game, it stops being fun and becomes a chore.

Mandatory relevant French YouTube reference,
fitting for an Asterix game.

You'd think having a couple of Roman camps would be
enough, but no. Caesar's gotta show off the laurel collection.

The hidden secrets? To cement his victory on all provinces, Caesar ordered his army to hide Golden Laurels everywhere as a mark of ownership. There’s 63 of these, spread unevenly across six worlds. Most can be found by looking around, while others require a bit of exploration and thinking outside the box. Several more were hidden behind puzzles to solve. Two or three  can be obtained through mini-games. One example involves picking up 2,000 (!!!) helmets while sliding down a mountain in Normandy. Finding all Golden Laurel in a world unlocks an alternate costume for one Gaul, like a legionary uniform or a pirate look.

The Convoluted Quest to Save Everyone

There's at least two more sequences like this in the game.
Including one sliding down Egypt's desert sands...

From this point onwards, the spy will be everywhere the Gauls go, and will always explain what’s coming up, whether it’s a room you need to clear of enemies or a mini-game to play. Speaking of, he'll be there as long as you haven't finished a mini-game to his liking (worst example I can recall being the 2,000 helmet slide). Thankfully, a catapult was set up to send the Gauls back to the top of the mountain, but every single time I had to endure the spy’s spiel.

You’d think getting Getafix far from everyone else would be Caesar's priority, since the druid knows the recipe to the super strength magic potion – and yet, he is the first we rescue, in Gaul, at the end of the first world. We save him from his guardians, and he explains what he has seen.

Obelix is fun to use in combat, I just wished he actually
DID hit harder than Asterix. He's the one with permanent
effects from the magic potion, after all.

Map of the (known) world, rather.

Caesar has set up a perfect ploy, splitting the villagers and carting them off to different provinces of the Empire, if not different countries altogether. He kept track of everything thanks to a map carved on a stone tablet. To ensure nobody would be able to track down each Gaul from the indomitable village, he shattered his map, which split it apart perfectly so there would be one province/country per piece. Gee, what luck! Even luckier: SOMEHOW, every set of villagers stole a piece and took it with them wherever they got sent. And whatever happened there, no Roman noticed.

Against these two, even the dreaded leader of the Normans,
Chief Timandahaf, is no threat. Yes. Time-and-a-half.
This series LOVES its name puns.

Look, I’ve seen a lot of suspiciously convenient events get set up to justify a platformer's plot and progression, but this – wow, this breaks records. I audibly groaned when it was revealed. It’s one of the dumbest set-ups I’ve seen. If that story had happened in the actual Asterix comics, it would be derided as utterly stupid. (And the main continuity has had its share of stupid, like that time ALIENS came to the village. Yes, really.) There’s no way these events could have logically happened. I’ll deal, but… yeah, this plot is dumb.

I hate that boss thing, it's a complete anachronism with the
franchise. And worse even, we fight FIVE versions of it!

This quest takes us first to Normandy (modern day: Scandinavia), the land of the Vikings. These big, tough guys would give Caesar a run for his money. There, we rescue Fulliautomatix and Unhygienix. In Greece, we rescue Impedimenta (chief Vitalstatistix’s wife) and Panacea. We need to worry more about what happens before saving them; from Normandy onwards, the final boss of every world is a wood and iron tank, which we pick apart (with three different strategies throughout) thanks to teamwork by the two Gauls. Wait, the Asterix series has friggin’ tanks now? How can this thing exist in 50 BC??

Across the Empire

The bridge level in Helvetia had its annoying moments,
but I loved the design and concept of it.

The last three worlds are Helvetia (AKA Switzerland), Egypt, and Rome. We rescue Geriatrix and his wife, then Cacofonix the bard, and finally Chief Vitalstatistix (and his shield-bearers). The pirates are met in every world, just gotta find them and beat 'em up – it's not an Asterix story unless the pirates get a beating. One of my favorite design aspects to this game is that each world is almost continuous, barring a few exceptions where the Gauls take a catapult towards new areas. Druids serve as checkpoints, and slapping them saves your game. Gratuitous violence on the elderly!

All that's missing is sinking their ship. Another tradition.

The final world, Rome, is a Coliseum-like sequence where we battle upwards of 3,500 enemies across multiple rooms – you heard the number right, I did NOT stutter – and then a final battle against Caesar, who uses TWO of the damn tanks we’ve been fighting. (I HATED the tank battle at the end of Egypt, and I wasn’t a fan of the final boss version, either.)

Yes, those twin twisters are Asterix and Obelix.
Yes, that's Romans and lions being flung around.
No, it's never explained how that attack is even possible.

One of the better features is the possibility to use combo moves. At the shop, you can buy these moves, which are then added to your controls. (They’re freaking COSTLY. Like, 5-digits in helmets. …WHYYY.) Asterix and Obelix have a battle gauge that fills as they attack and defeat enemies. When it’s full, it turns white, and the word “COMBO” appears. This allows the Gauls to do the special moves purchased. The combos are fun and can get you out of trouble when combat isn’t going well; but it sucks that they’re so expensive to unlock. Also, once you unlock one, the Tornado attack, you can win most battles as soon as you’ve filled up the Combo gauge. That attack will clear the screen of opponents – which, considering the number of Romans you fight in late-game...

Waitwaitwait. Twister Combo, THIRTY THOUSAND
helmets??? Why the Heck do you need that many??!?

Bonus challenges? Eh. I was satisfied by the main quest.

When you reach a point of progress in a world, a stele with an hourglass will activate. These lead to various challenges. “Reach the finish line under a time limit”, “collect every item that appears when this challenge is activated”, etc. I didn’t quite pay attention to these on my playthrough, since they don’t reward the player with much.

Finally, at any moment you can press the tab key, which will switch between the remaster look and the original game’s look. This doesn’t serve much ofa purpose, though it’s necessary for some stele challenges that involve picking up collectibles, since some will be only available in one version or in the other.

Final thoughts

I wished I had enjoyed this one more, but I’m now 2-for-2 on Asterix games I’ve played and feel to be okay at best, with decent ideas but repetitive gameplay. And to be honest, I think I liked Asterix and Obelix XXL even less. It’s got great things, but goddamn do its flaws pull it down.

Why yes, this speedboat IS Obelix-powered.

The good stuff: It’s an alright platformer with a gradual increase in difficulty, as is to be expected. The puzzles aren't too difficult, if repetitive, fitting in 3 or 4 categories: "Light fires to open the way", "Obelix carrying Asterix on a zipline", "smacking rotating triggers to open the way"... This form of gameplay means that we can’t switch freely between the two Gauls, instead switching automatically to which one is relevant at that moment. It leads to sections where either Gaul must fight on his own, shaking up the formula and creating additional challenge.

I didn't show much of the fifth world, Egypt. I wished it
featured Caesar's Palace as built in Asterix and Cleopatra,
one of the franchise's most famous stories.

Adding Dogmatix to combat is great; the little dog will save your butt more than once if you know how to use him right. Having the other Gaul join into battles is excellent. The combo moves bought from the shop add to your options. The Golden Laurels are not mandatory to finish the game, but they’re a nice bonus for dedicated players; and the unlockable costumes are a decent bonus, though I wished there were more. Finally, I love that each world is almost a continuous stage – barring moments with catapults. Even then, some parts are just great – one standout was the bridge level in Helvetia. I liked that we have the option to switch between the game's classic and remastered looks.

The meh: The music is a mixed bag. Many of them sound nice, especially those used for setpieces. However, what you’ll mostly hear is the battle themes, and one of those sounds like techno with Mongolian throat singing and… that one was grating after a while.

The reward for beating a tank boss is literally "a big pile of
helmets, with an 80X multiplier". That's all.

Now, the negative. The first issue is obvious: SO. MANY. HELMETS. It’s stupid how much it feels like the whole game was designed around collecting helmets more than around the two characters and their quest. For every Roman you beat, you’ll smash twice the crates. It takes over gameplay, especially once you realize you need 10,000s to buy the combo moves from the shop – moves without which the end of the game is damn near impossible.

Obelix, you goddamn idiot, are you stuck behind crates
AGAIN? I need your help to fight 90 legionaries!

The camera annoyed me regularly; it often moves on its own, and due to how combat works, I had to keep my fingers on the arrow keys to set the correct angle that would help me. Getting the other Gaul to follow me was a pain in the ass; although Asterix or Obelix are usually decent at following the player, they would often get stuck behind, usually wherever boxes were (barely!) in their way. Nothing better than entering a battle and not having help because the other guy (usually Obelix) hasn’t followed.

The story gets stupid quick. Not a fan of the lack of variety in boss fights, since aside from two fights against a crane-like boss, most worlds end with a fight against a tank that always has the same weak points – only the strategy to get there changes.

Look on the right side. Yep, that's 990. The game asks us to
beat up roughly a THOUSAND Romans in this one room.
You better fucking pray the last one loads right.

Speaking of combat, the quantities of enemies we beat up in the final stretches get ridiculous. These fights are pretty much impossible without magic potion (which, for an Asterix game, felt super rare!!) or the late-game combos. Your best bet would be to fill up the gauge, press the keys to trigger the tornado move, wait till it’s over, and repeat. On multiple occasions, the final enemy in an area failed to load, trapping me in an area I couldn't leave, forcing me to reload the level (and, thus, everything that came before tha area). A huge problem.

In short: I didn’t like it as much as I wished I had. Asterix and Obelix XXL Romastered is okay at best, infuriating at worst. Even if you love the franchise, I’d bet that there are better Asterix games out there. Maybe the XXL sequels are better? I do have the second one in the backlog...

Anyway, see you soon for something else.