Quick Review: Portal

This is a triumph; I’m making a note here, huge success. It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

I can cross that one off the list of “titles every gamer HAS TO PLAY or else you’re not a real gamer” or something. That damn list has, like, a thousand items anyway.

I... I have a body??? With so many first-person
games where you see nothing of the PC,
it's... refreshing.

For those who don’t know, if any – I assume everyone is already fairly well-acquainted with this legendary title from Valve –, Portal was released on October 10th, 2007. As the source of several memes and the origin of one of gaming’s most famous villains, GLaDOS, it’s borderline impossible to say anything about it that hasn’t already been said. Won’t stop me from trying. I can start by saying, look at that release year, then look at all of the indie puzzle games I’ve reviewed for Steam Packs or Quick Reviews; Portal is one of the most groundbreaking, innovative and inspiring games to have ever been made.

So, yeah, you can go “Took this guy long enough to play it!”

Weighted cubes and pressure plates. Like in
so many puzzle games. Good thing we also
have portals to play with.

You are Chell, a test subject waking up in the Aperture Science Laboratory. You are then subjected to a series of tests involving, obviously, portals. From the start, this game strikes the imagination with its concept – because portals are a pretty cool puzzle element, yeah, but also because you can look into a portal and see what’s on the other side… including yourself. After a bit, you get your hands on a portal gun that can create portal entrances (as defined by their blue ring) and, later, you’ll get an upgrade to create portal exits (as shown by their orange ring). But you can enter either and leave by the other, there’s not actually a limit there, it only serves to differentiate the two (since you left-click to make blue portals and right-click to create orange ones).

From that point on, you deal with all the usual suspects when it comes to puzzles: weighted objects that must be put on pressure plates; buttons to open doors; places that hinder your abilities (You can only create portals on pale surfaces, as it doesn’t work on dark ones); beams or blasts that must be redirected to precise targets; etc.

Fireball thing goes in, fireball thing comes out.

I'm sending myself flying across large pits.
This technology is magic!

It’s also quite a spectacle to create effects by using the portals; as an example, by creating a loop with portals in order to gain momentum… or, as GlaDOS says for the layperson, “Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out”. Or you can just make one portal on the floor, one on the ceiling above, and fall forever. Yeah, good thing Chell can somehow survive every fall, huh? Oh, she isn’t indestructible; she dies if she falls in “water”, can die from getting hurt too much (mostly from the bullets shot by turrets)… Thankfully, each puzzle has a handful of checkpoints to compensate for the errors you can make, so the game is fair. And, in the purest puzzle game tradition, things get complicated fast.

Orange portals too? Now I'm fully equipped!

AAAAAAAAAAH! (Of course I did it. You
can't play Portal without trying at least one
infinite freefall loop.)

This is topped off by the very comedic, very fun writing, with GLaDOS’ comments between levels being a source of hilarity with her deadpan delivery, her attempts at sounding professional in these “tests”. Obviously, Internet culture has latched on to that character and her memes, so chances are that you already know that there’s more than meets the eye about this entire place and the voice that’s been accompanying you throughout. Especially when she starts going wildly off-script and saying things a normal A.I. never would… Dammit, she’s just hilarious. By the way, the game includes a developers’ commentary mode as well as advanced versions of story maps, which offer a greater challenge.

"Please note that due to a lack of audio content,
the presence of GLaDOS was not made
possbzzzfrzztt this review. Please stand by and
don't touch the 'Close Windfrrrftzzzzzbzfrzz"

Portal is about as perfect a video game as can be, utilizing the medium to present something that looks basic at first, only to hide layers of meaning and story when you dig deeper. It offers an awesome spectacle and creates clever puzzles through a unique mechanic; only downside is, you can’t wave to yourself through portals, 0/10, can’t even be silly in it… I’m joking, of course. And it’s all done with a very minimalist cast and great writing. It’s a must-play game… But chances are that you’ve already played it. Or maybe, like my copy, it’s been sitting in a corner of your Steam library for a long time and it’s just waiting to be booted up. Just saying, you won’t regret it.

Portal is available for 9.99$.

Also, note that I will be taking the next week off from writing reviews in order to rebuild a buffer. Only 11 games left in this set of quick reviews!