VGFlicks: The Angry Birds Movie (Part 1)

It’s almost weird to think about in this Candy Crush-dominated era, but there was a time where the Angry Birds were the undisputed kings of the mobile gaming market. Hell, the one article I wrote about them long ago (a rather mediocre article in hindsight) is the most viewed page of all time on this blog! If that’s not a testament to the spherical birds’ popularity at the time, I don’t know what is! 

Thus, as with any massively popular franchise, a movie was eventually in the works. Rovio Entertainment has delved into animation before, with a series of TV shorts known as Angry Birds Toons. And of course, there’s the odd music video. That song is never going to leave your head.

However, this is a full feature-length film, with top-notch animation. Rovio's implication in the development phases means we can imagine they agreed to everything that happens in this film - having the creators' thumbs up is always a better sign in the end (that's why I will trust the Mario movie currently in development by Illumination Studios if the folks of Nintendo look over some of the more important decisions.)

Of course, you may get the impression that the protagonists of the franchise are a little… um… different than usual. They are… ANTHROPOMORPHIC! Oh, the horror! …Nah, we get used to it pretty quickly. Let's see what awaits us in this film.

The eggs are surprisingly resistant in this universe.
Then again, that one isn't a real egg...

Before I begin to describe the story, I need to restate one point: The animation is fan-tas-tic. There’s nothing I can say to criticize it – the fluid movement, the amount of detail in every scene; the very first minutes seem to exist to show off the animation. The first two minutes actually look like an extended chase scene through the jungle, with plenty of slapstick. Almost as if to kill the fears viewers may have of a poorly-animated product. This is actually very good! Even the character designs are pretty decent once you’re accustomed to them. 

That fake egg had a cake inside? The egg is a lie!

Speaking of characters, meet Red (voiced by Jason Sudeikis). He’s an angry bird. Literally; he has anger issues. He’s such an outcast that his house is located on the beach, away from the village. The first scene shows him running across the wilderness of the birds’ island as he tries to deliver a cake on time for a young bird kid’s hatchday party. He shows up barely a minute early and gets into an argument with the dad, causing him to lose it and splatter the gluten-free cake in the bird-guy’s face. Note to self: Never feed bread to birds again, apparently some of them have a gluten intolerance. While leaving, Red accidentally breaks the egg of the couple’s coming child and the baby imprints on him instead of its actual parents. Oopsie.

The Judge is actually vertically-challenged.
That's why he walks around on another bird.

What follows in the musical introduction is a series of vignettes of Red’s life, present and past, as the universe seems hell-bent on putting him through the most annoying situations. It also shows that Red is an orphan who got bullied a lot. Ah, Freudian excuses… On the next scene, he gets put on trial for his earlier mistake, and is sentenced by Judge Peckinpah (voiced by Keegan-Michael Key) to the harshest punishment that any bird can endure: Anger management classes.

Of course, I’d develop anger issues too if I lived on that island. It seems custom-made to house the most annoying things of all time. Well, it’s either in-universe or something I perceived, as the audience. Word to the wise if you ever get into the business of writing scripts for TV or film: If you need to convey that some things are annoying to a character, make sure they’re annoying to the character, and not to the viewer. If you annoy the viewer, they’ll leave. And the first half of this movie has plenty of intensely annoying moments.

Ahhh. I approve of violence inflicted upon a mime.

It’s also kind of… busy, comedy-wise. There’s a large number of running gags that this movie takes advantage of; now, how many of them are actually funny, that’s up to each person. The Judge, a somewhat small bird, walking around on a taller one to appear big; the one who keeps offering hugs and getting denied; the mime that keeps going “Oh my gaaaaaaw…”; the baby Red imprinted on, who believes that Red’s his father; Chuck’s ambiguous sexuality (yep, in a movie for kids); Terence scaring everybody just by his mere existence… When a scene is missing a joke, the script will fall back to one or more of these. That, or they’ll stretch out a single joke to lengthen a scene, usually in an attempt to make it funnier, but then it just gets annoying. I see this film’s writers have been to the Family Guy class on comedic writing. Actually, that might also explain why so many parental bonus jokes are slipped into the film, along with disguised curse words. “Pluck my life”? “Some angry flocking birds”? Really? Hm, at least they follow the theme with plenty of aviary puns to go around.

Left to right: Terence, Chuck, Bomb.
Red has zero interest in getting to know them better.

So Red goes to anger management school. He gets into an all-out brawl with the welcoming sign at the entrance of the school, then awkwardly replants it after giving it a beating. I was rooting for the sign during that battle, by the way. Red walks in and meets the therapist, Matilda (Maya Rudolph), and the other people in therapy: Chuck (Josh Gad), Bomb (Danny McBride) and Terence (Sean Penn cashing in an easy paycheck by doing grunts and little else). As they explain to the newcomer the reasons of their presence here, it’s shown that they have variations on the abilities they exhibit in the games. Chuck (the triangle bird) is hyperactive and has super-speed, and Bomb explodes (literally so) when startled or angry. Don’t worry, that doesn’t kill him. As for Terence, he’s huge and frowning, so nobody messes with him.

"Helloooooo!"
"You stop that right now, lady."

May I open a parenthesis and say that I do enjoy the attention to detail put in this movie? When we meet Matilda, she seems joyful like all the other birds, but there are loads of subtle details in her mannerisms that indicate she’s repressing anger constantly to keep her friendly demeanor. Red is unwilling to make any kind of effort in therapy, and even refuses to interact too much with the others. He goes back home that evening, lonely, and… Is that the song “Behind Blue Eyes”? It is, but… oh no… it’s the Limp Bizkit version! Ahhh! Abort! Abort! My ears! The earplugs, they do nothing!

This boat sure contains a lot of TNT.

Cut to a few days later, when a ship arrives at Bird Island. The birds gather, in time to see the large boat end its course on the beach… smashing into Red’s house in the process. The adventurer reveals himself: Captain Leonard Mudbeard (voiced by Bill Hader), a green pig from Piggy Island. He and his crew (consisting of a single character: Ross, his badly-battered sidekick) saw the birds’ island and decided to stop by. This is a strange visit for the birds, who had no idea that there were other occupied islands on the ocean. The birds decide to offer these two pigs a warm welcome and a celebration.

Guess it's true; sometimes, you give to your enemies
the means for your own destruction.

At the party that evening, Mudbeard reveals various gifts he offers to the residents of Bird Island: A trampoline, a giant slingshot… Ah, there it is, the famous weapon of choice of the Angry Birds! Hm, I will admit, I like the backstory that the slingshot may have been given to the birds by the pigs themselves. Way to be hoist by your own petard. After using the slingshot to fling fruits at the audience, Mudbeard picks a volunteer to test it, and selects Red, who up to that point had been snarking and booing at the pigs all evening. Mudbeard and his assistants (two more pigs that showed up) send Red flying and the angry bird lands on the beach. Chuck, the Flash of the island, shows up and suggests to search the boat. And, well, with everything the pigs have done to him already, Red agrees to the idea. Bomb also tags along. As for what they find…

NOPE

That's a lot of green.

A room full of trampolines, a room full of cars, a room full of cowboy outfits, a room full of a hundred of green piggies… Hey, waitaminute, Leonard never said there were more than two pigs on that boat! When Red tries to reveal the ruse to his fellow birds by bringing the many piggies along to the party, Mudbeard spins a different story. His fellows are, um, dim-witted, to say the least, so he went first to explore the birds’ island and meet its residents to make sure the place was safe for them.

And dim-witted they are. As soon as those pigs show up, the movie’s comedy takes a nosedive into stupid territory. You know, when a bunch of jokes amounts to little more than “these are morons who do moronic things”? That’s these pigs in a nutshell.

Bleh. These pigs. Such uncultured swine.

Green Ham and Eggs; a story Dr. Seuss never wrote.

However, the crowd of birds decides to ignore Red’s warnings and welcomes all of the piggies, who proceed to steal the show with… No! Country music! The one genre that I despise! Aaaaah! Can’t this be over already? And what’s with this obsession for crotchless pants? Cover your green bacon, you guys!

And thus, the piggies insert themselves into life on Bird Island. They eat like they’ve got bottomless stomachs, take up all the spots on the beach, and they sure seem to have a strange fascination for the birds’ unborn babies… Mudbeard, in particular, can already imagine himself having a grand meal of omelettes. As if they weren't enough, another boat full of pigs arrives.

This movie was actually a bit controversial when it came out in 2016; some viewers interpreted the movie as being anti-immigration, what with the pigs invading the island, making themselves at home, all in a ploy to commit crimes (because, if you’ve ever played an Angry Birds game, you know those piggies are gonna steal the eggs). Problem is, the piggies weren’t planning to stay on Bird Island, integrating themselves to society in any meaningful way - it’s pretty clear that they had ulterior motives. Later on, we find out that the pigs’ society is more technologically-advanced, wealthier, and Leonard Mudbeard is their monarch. Also, they came to Bird Island, befriended its population, and ran away with whatever resources they wanted. Is the movie anti-imperialism, then? Thing is, we can’t know for sure if either of these was the intended message by the director. People will always look for meaning. I prefer to think that these are interpretations we apply to a movie that only wants to be an adaptation of a game about birds throwing themselves at their worst enemies. I feel like there is more to read here regarding anti-imperialism, but since it's unclear whether this was the point, take from that film what you will.

Seeing the pigs take more and more space on the island, to the detriment of the birds, Red has an idea: He’ll seek out the Mighty Eagle for help. According to the legend, the grand bird lives by the Lake of Wisdom, on the highest peak on Bird Island, so Red enlists Chuck and Bomb’s help.

I don't know if it's becauuse I'm a reviewer, but
I relate so much to Red in this entire movie.

At least we get a nice 2D sequence of Bomb picturing Mighty Eagle as an extreme icon of pure badassery whose six-pack abs have sick-pack abs. Like I said earlier; there are many good jokes in this movie. Not all of them land, but some are decent enough that I had a couple laughs. Speaking of bad jokes and annoyances, the next minute is spent with Chuck and Bomb wondering what the Mighty Eagle’s battle cry may be, and so they proceed to break the audience’s ears with cries of varying quality. Yes, the point is that Red thinks they’re annoying. They’re not supposed to be annoying the audience as well. Oh, and that’s when they find out they had been climbing the wrong mountain. Guess we needed the padding.

Honestly, I could probably comment on every single
image of this review with "I'm with Red on this."
Red's turning into my spirit animal.

Anyhow, the trio reaches the Lake of Wisdom, and is amazed by its beauty. Chuck and Bomb even decide to bathe in it, even drinking from it and spitting water into each other’s mouths (to Red’s disgust; I feel ya, buddy, I feel ya). They hide when Mighty Eagle (voiced by Peter Dinklage) makes his presence known, and the large bird appears from a crevice in the mountain, deploys his wings… and then urinates in the Lake of Wisdom. It’s Bomb and Chuck’s turn to be disgusted. This gross “joke” lasts for 36 uncomfortable seconds and prominently features Chuck and Bomb holding back their desire of puking from the revelation. I could have done without this scene. Thanks, movie, I now have a new entry in my “Top 10 worst moments in cinema history”.

Think I'm joking?

Rovio Entertainment agreed to this scene, by the way.

"Store model", "Spectator", "4th", "Nice try", "Participation"...
..Okay, that's a great joke.

Mighty Eagle (who is mighty in name only, now a pot-bellied, old, lazy bum) has noticed them, and after calling them out for watching while he was tending to his… um… private business, he invites them into his lair. And yes, Eagle has become complacent. He’s less of a soaring icon of braveness, more like a has-been sitting on his laurels earned 30 years prior. Even his trophy collection is bogus. Desperately holding onto the past, like some pitiful, lame character obsessed with nostalgia. Even his music collection is 80’s cheese. “Wild Thing”? That song is a relic that should’ve stayed in the past. Oh, and a creepy old bird, too; Eagle is spying on the old ladies of the bird populace with binoculars.

Stealing a meal... stealing babies...
To these pigs, same difference!

Using Eagle’s setup, Red observes the village. While the three were gone, the pigs planned a huge party for the birds, and while the inhabitants of Bird Island are having fun in the big top built by their guests, the piggies are placing dynamite all over the village. In a panic, Red tries to enlist Mighty Eagle’s help, but all he gets is a “No” as an answer, so he hurries back down with Chuck and Bomb. In time to see the piggies fleeing with the eggs. Chuck gets to the party and warns the birds, but it’s too late; by the time they leave the big top, the green menaces have blown up the village and fled with the eggs. Red, Chuck ad Bomb did their best to stop them, to no avail.

This is like a vision out of a war film.
Or an uninspired Michael Bay script.

This is a good time to leave and continue this in Part 2.