Quick Review: Gladiator Trainer

Back to the well of games made on RPG Maker, and... this one’s peculiar. I’ll always approve of those who do something with the program that’s a step beyond a cookie-cutter RPG, and today is an example.

I trust this big tough guy to be good at fighting.
...The Heck? He lost!

Developed by Pilgrim Adventures, published by Senpai Studios (which publishes a lot of RPG Maker games) and released on November 25th, 2016, Gladiator Trainer brings you into a very dark world where slave owners send their property to battle other slaves for the pleasure of the masses. You start the game with two slaves, which are randomly generated, and then put them in low-rank tournaments to start. They gain experience and levels, learn new attacks, and can fight in better tournaments, where the enemies are also stronger. The goal? To beat the highest tournament.

Our land. Where we prepare people so that
they'll fight each other. Yikes.

So, since it’s a game made on a software tailored to RPGs, then we can expect that, right? Well... Not quite. The greater focus is on the management simulator aspect. You manage your slaves by training them in combat, buy them weapons and armor. Hire a personal trainer, a cook and a doctor. You can even hire non-fighting “pleasure slaves” (yikes) of both genders for, ahem, morale boosts, and dance training for HP and agility boosts. Get a scribe who’ll look over your collection of books, which provide passive bonuses. If you don’t manage your money well and cannot pay your employees, they’ll quit, one at a time. And if your slaves have low morale, they’ll run away. If your slaves sustain long-term injuries in a battle, they cannot fight in tournaments while they recover. Oh, and as a final element: Fighting slaves earn their freedom upon winning 75 battles.

Ah, the battling. Of course there would be some.
...Wait, I don't control the character?

Well, I'm still broke, so I can't help. Sorry.

True to the form of management sims, there’s a variety of random events that can happen, and it’s up to you to figure out the best course of action, all based on your finances and status. The game is divided into weeks, with a tournament being the “last” thing you do in a week, as upon return from the tournament (no matter the result), you move on to the next week. You can also opt to skip a week, if the tournament available that week sounds too difficult, or if you feel your characters aren’t ready. You gain reputation as you beat tournaments, and there are additional ways to earn (or lose) more. 

They don't exactly start out great, so it's
your job to make sure they're ready and
can survive.

And, occasionally, we battle
big freaking feral animals.

Where’s the RPG part? The tournament battles, of course. The first tournaments are set against three opponents – two enemies and a “boss” – and I expect these to grow with more opponents over time. Your slaves learn new attacks the higher their level is, and the further in we go, the more often we fight opponents who can inflict status effects. Slaves regain HP between battles, 20% at first, but the amount can be increased up to 50%.

What’s the catch? Your involvement stops at picking the slave that will fight. You do NOT control them in battle. You let the fight play out, and then deal with the results. A victorious slave with high morale will earn you extra money with theatrics, while a loss instantly ends the tournament. You better hope your slave’s AI makes the right decisions. Nor has a streak of bad luck where it keeps missing the opponent. That’s cost me victory often, and there's no way to improve accuracy. In short, victories are down to luck.

For a while, Elison was my go-to fighter. Then, she had some
bad luck, so Sela got to fight and earn experience in her
place. But they're both close to 75 victories, so...

Oh no, Basewin, my worst fighter...
Well, cure him anyway! Just in case he
finally gets good! He's got a freedom to earn!

Oh, and the characters in-game are all portrayed with 3D models... If the anime girl in the header on the game’s Steam page is what brought you to buy it, sorry, you fell prey to false advertisement. There’s also some weird issue with the cursor, where if you move out of the game’s screen, you must go back to a smaller version of the game hidden behind the enlarged screen to go back to interacting with things in mouse mode. Also annoying is that the game frequently springs dialogue options in the middle of conversations. Imagine you're skipping the text, an option box pops up, and in your hurry, you auto-select the first option, and it's the one you don't want. Yep, happened a lot to me. Some way to prevent that would have been nice.

Yeah, we ain't winning that one.
Freaking heal yourself! Dammit, she never does.

I take moral issue with the core concept of the story, but it's not all dark as there's multiple ways to "free" the slaves. Either way, gonna let suspension of disbelief deal with that one. The character models are merely okay; 3D assets repurposed for this game, but at least it’s a change from the usual anime-styled RPG Maker assets. The management simulation is overall fine; it gets more complex as you go up the ranks, but luck can screw you over. The game's balancing is terrible at the beginning, as your opening options are very limited and any misstep means your slaves are unprepared for even the most basic battles; in fact, your odds are much too low unless you know exactly what to do. Guides say, don’t upgrade any of your facilities until after you’ve won a tournament or two, and focus your early cash on equipment. Even then, battles remain completely steered by the characters’ AI, so you can very easily get fucked over by a streak of bad luck, like your slave not healing themselves when they need to, constantly missing the opponent, or being wounded for weeks after a fight. Not to mention it ultimately becomes repetitive once we reach the upper echelons of the competition.

Interesting combo of genres, I appreciate the novelty, but the game is only okay at best in my opinion. At least it’s not expensive if you do want to check it out.

Gladiator Trainer is available on Steam for 0.55$ USD.

Also note that I won’t be posting next Friday, as I’ll be on a trip. However, I’m going to resume posting the Friday after that.... and it will be the start of that long-promised 11th anniversary review!

Quick Review: Fred3ric

Chopin, my beloved! It’s been far too long! ...That came out wrong.

Made by Forever Entertainment S.A. and released on September 21st, 2020, Fred3ric is the third chapter of the zany adventures of Frederic Chopin, brought back from the dead to, uh, save the world or something with his incredible piano skills?

This quirky music game does not diverge from the concept its previous two entries had: You play your keyboard like a piano, using seven keys. This is a Guitar Hero simile, you play along to the notes that come down. They’re helpfully split into four white keys and three black keys, alternating, and the notes come down white or black depending on where they’re falling, which can help a player recognize them and press them in time. Added to this are some “battle” mechanics where you can beat the opponent by outperforming them musically, and extra elements to use during play to rack up higher scores and get more of a edge.

That's not a lot of notes... yet.

"And drop the anime hair, it's not serious on a composer.
Get a powdered wig or something."

Once more, the plot is silly; after he defeated the final boss from the previous game, Frederic Chopin was ready to move on and keep being musically awesome, but the machine his enemy was using turned out to be a time-traveling robot named Zeitgeist with the ability to “cyberize” people. It steals Chopin’s heart (again), taking away most of his newfound powers and forcing him to look for it once more. Worse even, the Timelord Robot realized it can only defeat Chopin by pitting him against opponents of similar skill; and therefore, it travels back in time to pluck famous composers from their time, cyberize them (ridiculously so, of course), then send them to duel Chopin, with only our hero’s skill able to return them to normal upon defeat.

Johann Sebastian Bachctopus

Why, yes, that IS Ludwig Van Beethoven.
The ear things gave that away, didn't they?

The first game revisited famous pieces of Chopin’s repertoire in new genres (shout-out to the Funeral March as a peppy country-like tune). The second focused on parodies of popular artists of the past few decades, like Freddie Mercury or KISS, with original “style parody”-type songs. The levels in Fred3ric are medleys of pieces from the composers we fight, as well as being modern arrangements of these tracks. These are once more highlights; the soundtrack here kicks ass. Unfortunately, those songs aren’t available for purchase. I'd buy the Hell outta that. (The game's songs being handed out for free with the Director’s Cut of “Resurrection of Music” was a highlight.)

The background animation is occasionally distracting.
At least it's fun to look at.

All fine and good, but. For one, this game is very short; you can beat it easily in under an hour, even if you fail once or twice on the way. In Normal Mode, the levels overall felt very easy, simplistic even, barely a struggle; I finished something like 8 out of 9 levels on my first try. (Yes, the Harder difficulty is a lot trickier.) Also, yeah – 9, that’s not much. It’s eight famous composers (Johann Sebastian Bach, Ludwig von Beethoven, Edvard Grieg, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Sergei Prokofiev, Erik Satie, Johann Strauss II and Antonio Vivaldi), topped by a final battle with Zeitgeist. That’s not me listing them in alphabetical order for simplicity; their levels are also played in that exact order in the game. I personally think it would have been more interesting to battle them starting with those that fewer people know (Grieg, Satie, etc.) and rise to the big hitters (Bach, Vivaldi, Mozart, Beethoven).

I mean, Moonlight Sonata Third Movement? That's final boss music right there. That was speed metal before speed metal existed.

Now playing against Mozart, who's not really used
to his newfound height, courtesy of robotic legs.

Y'know, I'm glad Forever Entertainment went for the more
famous songs from each composer, and not their most
intense moments, like the ones in this video. Or this game
would be really, really tough.

We once again get little scenes before each level, but they’re cut very short, only showing the composer of the day get cyberized. The previous games were criticized for their use of stereotype comedy, and there may have been an attempt at avoiding that by keeping cutscenes minimal. (There are still references to each composer’s land of origin in their levels, though.) The lack of focus on a story does show. The lack of any extra modes to take on, as well. On the plus side, we still do have Normal and Hard difficulties, but there doesn’t seem to be anything beyond that; we’re even missing the “harder than hard” Chopin difficulty from its predecessors! Fred3ric suffers greatly from its lack of content.

I’ll admit that I love the idea behind this one, but it’s much weaker than “Resurrection of Music” or “Evil Strikes Back”. Only get at full price if you already greatly enjoy the first two, otherwise wait for a sale or skip it.

If there’s ever a 4th? Here’s my idea: Famous modern-day pianists/keyboardists. Not necessarily ones still alive in 2024, but any that are well-known on their own (Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles) or from being in famous bands (Richard Wright, Rick Wakeman, Jordan Rudess, Tony Banks, Jon Lord, etc.)

Fred3ric is available on Steam currently for 0.99$ USD, at 90% off due to the Steam Summer Sale - best time to get it!

Quick Review: Do Not Feed The Monkeys

The game did warn me, but I didn’t believe it; this crap really is addictive.

First screen of my very first playthrough. I think I actually
solved one of these on my first try?

Made by Fictiorama Studios and Badland Games, published by Alawar and released on October 23rd, 2018, Do Not Feed The Monkeys is an odd time management/puzzle combo. Your unnamed protagonist just joined a mysterious group called the Primate Observation Club, through which they gain access to feeds of unprotected cameras and webcams. Your job, as a new “monkey observer”, is only to watch. Spy, jot down notes, look the “monkeys” up online, bow down to your voyeuristic tendencies. Sometimes, the Club might send you questions to answer, with monetary compensation if you answer correctly. Fishy...

Every little yellow mark at the bottom is a case you haven't
yet "solved" or completed. On this screen alone, there's 2
that are currently ongoing.

However, you are encouraged not to interact with the “subjects”. You can find their location, their actual name, their phone number or e-mail address... You could contact them through phone or instant messaging, make a positive change in their lives, steer them towards betterment or make their lives worse if you want. Right some wrongs. Save people. But! You’re not supposed to. But you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you.

Your amateur sleuthing is no joke - you grab a lot of
info just from what people in the feeds are talking about.

You also must buy "cages" to stay in the Club. You start with four. To go to a Level 2 membership, you need nine. Each new one costs 50$. Then, you need 16 to get to Level 3. Oh, and you MUST be able to upgrade to the next level every five days, or you lose your membership. It gets kinda crazy, but at least it stops at 25 on Day 16. Many feeds cannot be interacted with whatsoever; no need to worry about them. When it comes to those you can interact with, once you’re done with them (meaning you’ve basically finished their storyline – several have multiple endings), you can pretty much forget them. If you’re lucky, there’s money for you at the end as well, so if you want to keep going with the program, you will need to feed the monkeys.

Sleep enough, work odd jobs. Oh, and be careful not to
eat too much crap. Considering everything the dev team has
planned for, I'll bet you can die of bad health in this game.

From there, the game becomes a time management challenge as you have limited time to do everything. Oh, and amidst all this, your character still needs to keep healthy, eat and sleep enough, pay rent, AND deal with other annoyances of life. You can pick up jobs for extra money every now and then. Yeah, it’s a lot to consider. And because I’m a goddamn goody two-shoes, I tried to go for the best ending possible. Heck, just getting to Day 16 was tough until I learned how to handle each cage. The only remaining challenge was to make enough money to get there.

The Shewolf of Wall Street, soon reading fairy tales to
kids in a library near you!

On the plus side, everything is done with the mouse. Important keywords seen in cages or heard during conversations (which are written on the screen when you watch a cage) are highlighted in yellow; click them to write them down, then it’s up to you to connect the dots and help or cause trouble. Some cages are mundane. Some are funny. Some are satirical or full-on black comedy. Others are straight-up horrifying. The cages are randomized on each playthrough, so you never know what you’ll get and in which order. Based on what I saw on a wiki, there are still cages that I haven’t seen. I’d rather let you discover these scenarios yourself... ...well, aside from the ones I reveal in the screenshots for this review, anyway... because some of these are so outrageous they must be seen to be believed.

Well, if the locomotive was dangerous... ....wait, dissolving the
Supreme Court? The fuck? (Thank God this is satire...)

Well you don't get to see that every day!
....Instead, you get to see that every night.

There are so many secrets, so many endings, if you want to see everything (or, at least, hunt for achievements), you’re guaranteed to spend a lot of time on this one. Behind its simple gameplay, this game hides some devious puzzles and tricks, forcing you to be clever and wise with your time to solve everything... if that’s your goal. Alternately, if you want to cause massive chaos, you can do it too... Its secrets are a major reason to come back and play it again – even after going through it once for this review, I felt compelled to go back and do even better. Maybe I’ll do an evil run someday. I’ve already racked up a dozen hours on it and it’s one of my favorite discoveries of the year so far. Strong recommendation.

Do Not Feed The Monkeys is available on Steam for 15.99$ USD. A sequel set in the far future of 2099 also exists, released in 2023.

Quick Review: DESORDRE

Not sure how this is supposed to help with orientation and balance disorders, but I’ll give it a go anyway.

GERONIMOOOOO

Made by the sole developer of SHK Interactive, DESORDRE (also often subtitled “A Puzzle Game Adventure”) is a puzzle game in which you are in a simulation created by a group known as Plegus Therapy to treat the issues mentioned above. You’re put through 16 puzzles of increasing difficulty in which you’ll be using several puzzle mechanics made famous by other staples of the genre on Steam.

The first major mechanic at use here is a portal gun with white and red portals summoned with the Left- and Right-click buttons respectively. This comes with the caveat that you can only make them on black-and-white checkered spaces, limiting where you can make them. Just like in Portal, you can use momentum to let yourself fall into a portal and be sent flying through another.

Currently, time is slowed. We'll need it in order to cross
this chasm; we also need to switch dimensions to get
platforms we can jump to.

The second mechanic is the ability to switch between dimensions by pressing E. A level can be radically different between dimensions, forcing you into minimal platforming. As you can imagine, you can use portals to carry something from one dimension to another, such as a cube that’s necessary to trigger a pressure pad.

The third mechanic is slowing down time by pressing Q, which is great if you need to readjust your portals while in midair. It also slows time down significantly, so you can jump in place, activate it, swap dimensions to see what’s on the other side (platform? Or instant death?) and return to safety.

More mechanics are added, as opening the doors to later puzzles gets increasingly complicated, often requiring the use of lasers redirected through both special cubes AND portals to power up switches.

Call it a hunch, but I don't think this simulation is
actually about orientation and balance disorders...

Mix all these together, and... “mind-bending” doesn’t even begin to describe it. If you can move past the derivative impression you may get from this Greatest Hits of Steam’s best puzzle games, you’ll find levels that utilize every single mechanic to its fullest, forcing you to think in five dimensions. You’ll feel especially smart anytime you figure out the correct solution.

These puzzles are topped by a final one that serves as the ending. Plot remains minimal, with the focus being almost entirely on gameplay (barring some implications with the figures on both sides of the field, which remain unexplained).

Quite a few of the last puzzles involve
high-flying escapades, courtesy of momentum.

A few downsides: Although you can press tab to highlight zones of importance (read: The exit and any checkered areas) so you know where they are, sometimes they’re in places where you won’t think to look, like on the ceiling. Many times, I got stuck solely because I didn’t know about a checkered space that was necessary to beat the current puzzle. Leading into my second issue, where the game will offer to let you skip a level you’re struggling with if you spend too long on it. That’s nice, but I think I would have preferred if there was instead a hints system that could help with getting started in some levels, especially since later ones include checkered areas that aren’t useful for solving the puzzle and exist to misdirect the player.

Nope, not high enough. Same in the red dimension.
Looks like I'm gonna need a sequence of portals taking
me higher each time.

As a result, this might feel more like a tech demo, or a test game from someone working on something greater. If this is what they can achieve now, I eagerly await what SHK Interactive will do next. Sure, it’s a bit of a mix and match of well-known puzzles, but the result works well and is decently challenging.

DÉSORDRE is available on Steam currently for 6.99$ USD.

Quick Review: Dépanneur Nocturne

Dépanneur [day-pan-urr]: Noun. Québécois slang term referring to a convenience store.

Dépanneur Nocturne is a game by KO_OP released on May 26th, 2020. The game is also available on itch.io. In it, you play someone in a hurry to find a late-night birthday gift for their girlfriend, and who enters the titular store in the hopes of finding something, anything. Not like there’s much else open this close to midnight. Besides, it’s pouring and, because it’s Montreal, you can’t walk two steps without ending up in roadwork. Hey, that’s realistic so far!

"Bun-swar"? What's that? Some arcane language?

This environmental narrative game/walking sim leads you to this place, which is no ordinary convenience store. The salamander woman behind the counter speaks to you in the desired language, English or French (with our regional twist). There’s a strange air of mysticism to the place, implied in the posters and made more evident when chatting up the shopkeeper.

Get a coffee, pet the cat, gather quarters for the toy machine. Grab any item that looks interesting. Eugénie, the salamander, will eventually realize your situation and offer her help in a more peculiar fashion. Despite the bizarre implications from posters and the occasional creepy discovery as you dig through the store’s secrets, the game never takes a turn into horror. It remains a wholesome, short story that does end with you finding a gift.

I've worked at a gas station/convenience store. The coffee
usually ain't free. But hey, I'll take it.

Soft drinks? I never heard of Porp, it better be good.
I had to go five floors underground to find this machine!

When I say short, I mean it; unless you dig for secrets and achievements, and even if you do, you will likely finish this game in under an hour. Barring a small handful of puzzle-based ones, achievements are very easy to get, sometimes without even trying. While doing my second playthrough, I found more secrets and thought up some additional achievements that could have been fun (as an example: Putting as many items as possible in the shopping bag, as there’s a LOT to pick up). Bring items not intended for sale to Eugénie, and she’ll still comment on them.

You can’t leave without at least something to bring back to your significant other, though there are better endings to be found by accepting Eugénie’s help. You get extra comments for everything you bring to your love, including the big gift. There’s plenty of developer’s foresight here, a nice depth for a game that’s otherwise simple.

Well that explains the mysticism.

Being an environmental narrative, gameplay needs little mention. The music provides a nice ambiance. And like I said, there's lots of secrets to look for. The game being available in two languages is great (and you know how much I appreciate any Quebec representation.) And if you liked this one, its developer, KO_OP, released last year a much larger game called Goodbye Volcano High; although I haven’t played it, I felt it was worth mentioning, seeing as we’re in Pride Month and that title has LGBTQ and non-binary representation and themes.

Dépanneur Nocturne is available on Steam for 4.99$ USD... Or 6.49$ CAD.

...By the way, I offhandedly mentioned itch.io early in this article. Turns out that I have a ton of stuff on the itch.io platform as well, due to buying two huge bundles that gave to major causes in the past 4 years. Would anyone be interested in hearing me talk about some of the games I’ve got over there? Many of those are shorter experiences like today’s entry. If you’d like articles about games and other stuff on itch.io, let me know with a comment!