Adventure Time: The Secret of the Nameless Kingdom

♪♫ We'll go to very distant lands... ♪♫

The smash Cartoon Network hit Adventure Time was probably one of the most notable cartoons of the 2010s. Truly a cornerstone of the decade in pop culture. It started with somewhat disconnected plots that eventually all tied together into a cohesive story, which is a format I’ve come to love (see: My post about Code Lyoko only a few weeks ago). Finn the human and Jake the dog are very endearing characters, and they’re surrounded by an entire cast of lovable folks, several of which turn out to be a lot more complex than they first appear. Plus I got some cool hats out of it. As I’m writing this, four hour-long specials are being released on HBO Max to offer a form of closure to some elements of the series.

So, video games were made. The only one I’ve played is today’s game: Adventure Time: The Secret of the Nameless Kingdom (which I'll shorten to SotNK in the review), developed by WayForward Technologies, published by Little Orbit. I can imagine the Adventure Time games all try to follow the general tone of the series; very comical, slightly self-aware, with the occasional dramatic edge or pinch of serious. One of the advantages of the universe depicted in Adventure Time is that it’s very wide, and has even extended its scope to alternate realities, so anything’s possible. The games in the series also tend to homage classic adventure games.

I can’t actually pretend that I know the show that well – I saw a lot of episodes, but not all of them, and I haven’t kept such a tight grip on continuity to know how everything clicked together in the end. I lost track about midway into Season 5. Let’s see, the game was released for the Nintendo 3DS in November 18th, 2014 in North America, which means it was released while Season 6 was airing on CN. However, I’d assume this story would fit best around the end of Season 5, as Finn hasn’t lost his arm yet and still wields the Grass Sword. From there, let’s see where this story takes us.

A Finn To The Past

The Grass Blade, at the end of this arm of
mine that I'm certain I will never lose...

We start with Finn in a field, hearing what he thinks is Jake telepathically talking to him, saying that he needs help. This begins a tutorial that explains Finn's basic moves. Soon, he finds a castle and Jake tells him to go in through a secret entrance. Why? Heck if I know. While in the castle’s basement, Jake reveals that he was in Finn’s pocket the whole time, and has refined his shapeshifting abilities to become a shield that Finn can use to protect himself from enemies. The two deal with the enemies in the basement, then come to the upper floor to a candy butler wondering why they didn’t just come through the front door…

The butler goes on to explain the reason why Finn and Jake were sent by Princess Bubblegum to this strange kingdom, which is still nameless (contrary to all the other kingdoms in Ooo, which have themes and names befitting these themes; Fire Kingdom, Candy Kingdom, Breakfast Kingdom, etc). This land was created by three sisters: The Lullaby, Slumber and Nightmare princesses. Today, one of the three should have been selected as ruler, but all of them are missing! Finn therefore has to retrieve the sisters, each of whom is trapped in her respective temple… while the land is overrun by monsters!

"Kill all the monsters, make chest appear, open
chest, get key. I think we played that
game on BMO the other day!"

Hm. Kid with a sword and a shield, top-down dungeon crawling, going through a secret passage to enter a castle at the start of the game, and there are three dungeons (that we know of) in the main world. If you’ve guessed that this game is one huge homage to The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (ALttP), you’re correct! However, while the world is very clearly inspired by ALttP, it’s not as expansive or complex as that of its inspiration. Still, commendable effort. I do feel like, whereas the entire world can be explored early on in ALttP, some zones are blocked off in SotNK in obvious ways, generally by having a character just standing in the way and requesting a precise item. As an example, the guardian of the first dungeon won’t let Finn pass without a plastic bag, because it’s necessary to finish the dungeon.

Kinky.

What is it for, by the way? After learning a special slap move for Jake, you can “bag” explosive mooks and then carry them around to blow up walls. Apparently, in the future, Ziploc baggies are indestructible; who knew? This first dungeon is tricky, and its boss pays tribute to the Armos Knights from the Eastern Palace from ALttP by being a group of six bear-like creatures that you beat by whacking their electric balls back at them and then… slapping their asses. Yes, really. If you want to win, you gotta slap those asses. Once that’s done, Finn reaches Lullaby Princess’s room. She doesn’t seem like she was in danger whatsoever, and warps to the main castle upon hearing about the coronation.

Side-Quests for Side-Characters

Miss Trunks, we already told you not to
passionately hug Mr. Pig in public places!

The second dungeon is at the opposite northern end of the map, but it takes a while to get there. The map of SotNK doesn’t feel quite as open as those of other top-down adventure games. I do like that a lot of characters from the show make an appearance here or there. Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig, Cinnamon Bun (who decided that he wanted to block a goddamn bridge today until he’s shown something funny), Magic Man, Lumpy Space Princess, Starchie, Key-per, Rattleballs, Flambo, Marceline, and of course the Ice King and Gunter ("Wenk").

To get to the second dungeon: Capture a fart from a butt statue (yes, really) in the leftmost territory to show to Cinnamon Bun so he’ll move his half-baked ass out of the way, capture the tiny manticore on the rightmost territory, take it to Magic Man, and you get Flambo in return. That fire cat can burn trees for you, on top of being a projectile weapon to throw at enemies. He can also light torches, which is how you opens the second dungeon. Like the game it’s homaging, SotNK it has some internal logic and clever puzzles, but can be a bit of a pain when you’re going through for the first time and don’t know yet how everything clicks together.

I found... money!
(I will be using two different playthroughs for screenshots
because the previous one was incomplete. I couldn't find
another playthrough of the 3DS version, however, so most
pics from now on will be from the PS3 version.)

The power glove. It's so... strong!

The second dungeon introduces a powerful glove that lets Finn push and pull large crates. And that one is a maze. I swear, this temple made me go around in circles for hours, it enraged me more than the more infuriating Zelda dungeons I’ve ventured in. So maybe they went a bit too far in trying to recreate that feel. I needed to seek out a walkthrough to finish the damn thing.

The boss at the end of that dungeon was incredibly annoying as well, impervious to everything except its own eye bam. To beat it, Finn had to pick up huge jewels and put them in the way of the beam to redirect it at its launcher.

That puzzle boss room is far too complicated
for its own good.

The Super Mega Hero Trade Quest

I feel like I'm gonna have to wash my hands
twenty times to scrub the creepy off once I
let go of this thing.

After this point, we can get a book from a decrepit video store, give it to a worm who gives Finn a book about flirting in exchange, and we take this in turn to the Ice King, who provides the protagonists with the latest episode of his Fionna & Cake fanfiction. Ice King, you evil crowned loon, I really don’t think the two adventurers are all that interested in your creepy real-person genderbent fanfiction. Said fanfic will be given to a wizard in the marsh area of the game in exchange for an energy drink, which will be given to a bear guy in a rave so he can keep the party going. The bear guy then hands over some bug milk that’s then given to a demon in the graveyard who’s trying to open a portal to the Nightosphere; and after this long series of trade quests, Finn obtains the Enchiridion. Powerful stuff there, and we just had to travel back and forth across the whole map five times for it! What does it do? It lets Fin and Jake read the steles scattered around the Kingdom, which previously were impossible to read. (The book is also necessary to open the final dungeon.)

Well then, stop spinning. Parties need to
end at some point, buddy.

By the way, this game is fully voiced. It’s cool during cutscenes, but outside of them, Finn has very limited voice lines for things he picks up or sees in the adventure, and it can get pretty grating after a while. Let’s just say that I’m starting to understand why Link is better off mute. Speaking of sounds, I found a sound glitch in the game where a sound accompanying a temporary effect applied to Finn (such as poison) will keep playing after the effect is gone, and never stop.

These worms? They're just the electric blob
monsters from ALttP with a different look.

Another issue with the game? It feels like all of the enemies are annoying. From the worms that create damaging soundwaves to the porcupines that must be flipped over before we can hurt them… It’s like all the most enraging monsters the devs could put in the game went in, without any easier monsters to serve as breathers. The monsters in the marsharea are a doozy; their blasts can poison Finn (dealing 1/4th of a heart in damage every few seconds for a while) or confuse him (meaning all the directions on the circle pad will be swapped around, making it even harder for Finn to properly dodge attacks).

In a nod to ALttP’s Mysterious Pond, you can throw Jake in a pond owned by Marceline and she’ll return him with a stronger shield form.

The Odd One Out

The two torches on the left is what I'm talking
about in this paragraph. Can't see them on 3DS,
they're just a tiny bit offscreen.

And now we can walk into the third dungeon. As I wrote this review, I learned that this game was also available on most consoles in 2014 at some point as well as on Steam, with better graphics than the 3DS version; the game's screen on the PC version has a larger field of view than that of the 3DS version. One of the early puzzles here involves lighting up two torches that put themselves out very fast, so you have to toss Flambo over a pond to hit the second while the first is still lit. On Steam? No issue. On 3DS? Due to the smaller scope, you can’t even see the torches across the damn pond. The enemies are at their worst here, usually in large numbers or with attacks that are hard to avoid. Like those abominations with pool floaties on their heads, which throw bombs at Finn with some crazy precision. You’re never given a break.

I did feel like there was too little of Jake
so far in the game. Nice to see he's properly
joined the adventure and does stuff too.

The big equipment found in this dungeon is a ring for Lady Rainicorn that Jake had lost (hence why he was hiding in shame in Finn’s pocket). From this point on he can come out to activate switches, beat up enemies, jmp over small gaps (something Finn cannot do at all) and co-solve puzzles. It’s a very cool idea and Jake needed more spotlight in this game; however, it does make some puzzles trickier to solve. Also, Jake shares Finn’s health bar.

This dungeon, I despised it. I spent days trying to beat it. The dungeons in SotNK are sprawling monstrosities that take forever to finish. The rooms themselves don’t appear that large, but navigating the floors can be a nightmare. Some puzzles have to be redone every time you die, and since the enemies are so tough, you’ll die a lot. Oh, and while you unlock a portal to take you from the start to the end of the dungeon, in this one it takes you to a point that’s not quite near the boss’ door, and in fact you have to cross a couple of very dangerous rooms again before you can get to the boss.

And he can kick just as much ass, too!

This dungeon actually made me realize one of the game’s biggest issues: It’s not player-friendly. Getting healing “potions” is difficult; shops are very rare, almost nonexistent. You can find a lot of fountains with fairies that will heal Finn’s HP on contact, but you cannot capture them into the plastic baggies you gather to use them later; in a joke at the Zelda series’ expense, Finn will accidentally crush any fairy he catches. To top it off, you can’t go freely around the map until you have all of the abilities, so if you want a precise item, you’ll often need to do a huge detour to get to its location. Is there a way to travel quickly around the map? Nope, none of that here. I miss the bird-summoning flute… And yes, the dungeons take forever to get through. Thankfully, there’s only a few of them.

I originally thought the strategy was to stick Jake
on button duty to shine the light that hurts the
dark knight, but swapping characters meant the
other would become immobile and an easy
target. Too bad, there are better tricks.

Eventually, the third boss is fought and defeated, some black knight that starts out as a riff on Shadow Link. After it’s defeated, the heroes get to Nightmare Princess’s room. In her irony-laden, sarcastic tone, she explains that she does not want to attend the coronation because whoever gets crowned, the other two will be banished from the Nameless Kingdom, so she had orchestrated putting her two sisters to sleep so the ceremony wouldn’t happen. When Finn asks whether the one crowned could change the rules, Nightmare Princess suddenly starts looking very evil and sets out to do just that… by taking over the kingdom’s castle by force.

Whoops. She sure is different from the other two, that one.

Suddenly, bad guy.

A mighty final fight

This dungeon is conspicuously easy.

Good work Finn, now go and stop her. However, before that, there’s a “bonus” dungeon in the area that can be completed. It’s super-easy, as it was created (poorly) by Lumpy Space Princess so she could feel herself be “rescued” by the hero, Finn. It’s not a big loss of time, though, as it increases the power of Jake’s slap ability to let him hammer down poles or barriers. Plus, the exit of this mini-dungeon takes Finn and Jake near the main castle. Finally, a goddamn shortcut!

The last lap.

The Nameless Kingdom Castle, the final dungeon, is almost a walk in the park. Not as messy of a maze, not as damning of a dungeon, not as enraging of an experience. It’s still long and tough, but you have all of the abilities and each floor is a self-contained series of puzzles, so it was a lot easier to navigate. Finally, at the end, we get to the boss room, where Nightmare Princess awaits. Even though Finn tries to propose a solution to the princess dilemma, Nightmare Princess says she deserves the crown because she built the entire damn kingdom herself while her sisters did nothing, but her name and general demeanor would likely rule her out. She violently fights back, becoming the final boss, with multiple phases that require some of the duo’s newer abilities. She’s very tough if you don’t know what to expect; I know I used up all of my health items on that fight.

Why do all the cute girls around Ooo keep
turning into Eldritch abominations???

No, the Banana Guard up there. Yes, you.
You should rule this Kingdom.

When she’s defeated, Nightmare Princess finally chills, now ready for the coronation. Turns out, Princess Bubbblegum had sent Finn and Jake to actually choose the new ruler of the Nameless Kingdom. Choosing Lullaby Princess or Slumber Princess leads to different endings, but Nightmare Princess is the true ending. Finn and Jake return to PB and say, mission accomplished! PB replies, as long as they didn’t pick Nightmare Princess, which would be catastrophic for the land of Ooo, all is fine. Er…. Whoops?

It would have been nice to know before we left!
Oh right, we didn't listen to anything you
were saying before we left....

Final words

*squishes fairy* ....Yuck.

This game’s alright, but it had some big issues that dampened my enjoyment of it. It tries its best to homage the Legend of Zelda series (A Link to the Past in particular) and, as a result, slips in a handful of friendly jabs at it. Most don’t actively harm gameplay, but I wasn’t a fan of not being able to capture fairies for later use. Jake’s big hand accidentally crushes them. The world is smaller, but uses the same trick where some sections are blocked off until you get the necessary ability or item to remove the obstacle. Not a fan of characters standing in the way and requesting items to make them move, personally; it doesn’t feel right.

This donut guy will outrun you.

Beyond the homage, the spirit of Adventure Time is respected, with the characters sounding like they do on the show (in how they speak, but also because the game is fully-voiced), on top of having several noteworthy characters making an appearance. Kinda makes me wish a later-season episode featured Nightmare Princess. Even the characters created for the game are pretty fun. Although Finn only has a VERY limited number of lines outside of cutscenes, and that can get annoying quick.

The dungeons are lengthy and complicated, I’d argue too much for their own good. The maps don’t actually help as much as they could, either. It makes these challenges feel more of a chore than anything else. My best guess is that, since there’s only four dungeons here, they were made bigger to compensate. Also not a fan of how all of the enemies are annoying in some way. The game also felt rather lacking in side-quests, with the big one (getting the Enchiridion) using most of the quest characters in a long chain of trades. I wished there were more fun side-quests that netted extras, as the rest relies more on exploration to find heart pieces, wooden boards or gumball machines. The game's greatest issue is how player-unfriendly it can be, especially in places where it should lend a helping hand yet doesn't.

Those are tough enemies. There's another version
that ricochets off walls later in the game...

I have a lot to complain about, but in all sincerity, it’s not terrible. Misguided in places and could have done with some polishing overall, but it’s an attempt to lovingly pay tribute to a well-liked game (even if said tribute is wonky in places) that hits most of the notes right, all while being a believable Adventure Time story on its own, to the point where I wished the Nameless Kingdom and its princesses had actually appeared on the show. In the meantime, there’s the “Distant Lands” mini-series with one episode left to air, on HBO Max, to close the book on this universe.

I’m soon going to start work on the anniversary special for the blog. This might take a while. I might slip in a review or two in the meantime, if I can find the time for that, but I’ll focus on writing about P-… whoops! I almost gave it away!

I'd like to thank YouTube users nintendoblueluigi
and ★WishingTikal★ for their playthroughs,
which I've used for screenshots. Go check them out!