The thirteenth Steam Pack, huh? This means I’ll have reviewed approximately 52 games through those articles, in the span of about two years. Not actually all that impressive… because I could make more Steam Packs, yet I spend seven articles ranting about Undertale, or six about GTA V… I make things way too complicated for myself. Either way, Steam Packs are a nice change of pace… mostly because I couldn’t dedicate a full article to any of these. I’d run out of stuff to say 1/4h of the way through.
Hm, I wonder if the number will mean anything regarding the quality of the games reviewed today...
Disillusions Manga Horror
Developed and publishe d by StephenAllen, this game wasoriginally made for mobile, and now imported to Steam for the world to play on
larger screens. …Okay. Sure, why not. It‘s also this developer’s only game on
the platform, and while I usually try to be nicer to a developer’s first game,
I still point out the flaws.
This is the story of DiS, a young man with a bad case
of the Anime Face, white hair and weird eyes. He’s checking around some kind of
haunted house, looking for his friend named Vigil. Couldn’t that Vigil guy get
a better place to stay in? But hey, he has sushis, that’s our incentive. First
DiS looks for a way in, then when he’s inside he looks for his friend. Then
there’s a third chapter that follows a different character, investigator Sui, trying
to figure out what exactly happened on the crime scene. Both stories eventually
connect in a fourth level, which is supposedly multiplayer.
Why scoring your time in a story event-based plot? |
Darkness..... yay? |
As for the fourth level? It’s only playable in
multiplayer. And this game has next to no players whatsoever, which means it’s
pretty much pointless to even try. The whole game is really short and there’s
not much of a reason to play it more than once, getting a better time just
isn’t worth it.
They sure take cops young into the force these days. |
I’m all for young developers making their own games,
as a way to test the waters. But there is one undeniable truth to game-making:
Practice makes perfect, we all start somewhere. Therefore, one’s first games
are pretty much always going to suck. I mean, good work for StephenAllen to get
something out there, release a game they liked to create, but this 0.99$ game
isn’t even worth that price. At the very least, I hope they’ve been learning
from their experimentation in game-making and are striving to improve, and release
a second product eventually, one that shows the improvements. Disillusions
Manga Horror is… just bad.
The Plan
Some Steam games are short, sweet experiences. More of
a tech demo than anything else. There’s the ever-popular visual novel, of which
some are very short and sweet, and then there are games that aren’t meant to be
long. I remember saying before that a lot of free games are short, and kept
free specifically because the length means there’s no point in attaching a
price tag. This little game is one such example.
In The Plan, by Krillbite Studio, you play a little
fly that decides to see the world up there, which really just means you can fly
upwards until something makes you stop. Well, okay, there are some things on
the way. The fly gets caught in a spider web, and struggles to escape. You can
get free pretty easily. And it’s only up from there. Eventually,
the fly reaches its destination.
ZAP
That was a lightbulb. When they say “Go into the
light”, I don’t think they mean a 60-watts.
There’s a second mode that replaces the fly by… Navi
from The Legend of Zelda. Hey! Listen! You’re gonna die up there! What am I
saying, 90% of players would gladly send that fairy up into a deadly situation.
That's what happens when a fairy loses their Kokiri. |
The store page mentions that Krillbite Studios made
this very short game while they were working on a much larger project known as
Among the Sleep, a horror game in which you’re playing as a two-year-old child.
The reviews for that one are glowing - check that game out.
To Burn In Memory
I'd say something, but there's nothing to say. |
I’ll be honest, my interest in that one was pretty
much null. There’s no music, everything is white text on black. There are some
background images behind the text, but nothing that the dimmed screen will let
you see clearly. Featuring a city that never existed, you supposedly portray a
young woman living in those dark times where war is raging, or was raging, and
the effects it had on every location and citizen.
Still nothing. |
Also, for some inexplicable reason, when I tried to
replay this game for the review, I was stuck on the Credits page. Following the
instructions of “Click[ing] the scroll on the left bar of the screen” did
absolutely nothing, just reopened the Credits page. What the Heck. At least
this game is free, there’s that
I’d rather go back to my old CYOA Goosebumps.
Who’s Your Daddy
This one, ironically, I actually wanted to own. The
side of me that enjoys black comedy wanted to see what it was like. Developed
and released by Evil Tortilla Games (a name as funny as it is random), Who’sYour Daddy is the epic combat of the baby that can’t tell between safe and
dangerous, and the daddy who tries his best to look after the little Hellion.
Why is this not working? I know I have no pool experience, but come on! This can't be so hard! |
First off, this title has options for local and online
multiplayer, which is already not that bad. Outside of the normal mode, there
are larger modes involving multiple babies and/or daddies, such as Family
Gathering or The Great Dadlympics. Not special enough? You can create your own
mode! There are options to customize your baby and daddy, which is decent.
Because "Take Care of Baby" wasn't enough. |
So far, you might think this is ending the article on
a high note, right? Well… not quite. Everything else falls apart after you play
a few rounds. The music is one of the only elements to be consistently decent
here. The graphics? Low-resolution, cheap and pretty lame. CGI graphics like
these looked bad even on home consoles of the late nineties.
Next up is the gameplay. The physics are broken.
Grabbing items is difficult and setting them in places is just as tough. You
need precision in order to interact with some items surrounding you, and the
camera complicates matters. It’s also very easy to get trapped in some places
by simply having drawers and pantry doors open and close. And some players take
full advantage of these limitations. I distinctly remember getting trapped in
the kitchen by a player opening doors around me. Yes. There are many more
examples of wonky physics here, but discussing them would take pages and pages.
There’s some creativity to the various challenges you can play in
single-player. However, playing them highlights the problems with the game’s
physics; here, you don’t have other players to worry about while you complete
your mission, so the issues are more noticeable.
I remember doing the first daddy task, which involved
picking up the toys scattered in a room and putting them in the toy box, and
constantly struggling to do so. The less I say about the time I tried to cook
meat the better.
The toys won't fit in the goddamn box! |
All of these issues obviously carry on to multiplayer
as well. The main 1-vs-1 mode is alright, but the Battle Royales (8 players)
can lead to many of these physics issues used and abused easily. That’s saying
nothing of many glitches that can be exploited. I tried the Dadlympics mode,
and it doesn’t even indicate what you can try to do in order to achieve the
daddy tasks that are required to win the match.
That is not how baby works. |
Honestly? I don’t recommend it. However, if you
absolutely want to try it out, it’s over here for about 5 dollars. Maybe for
some players it’ll be so bad it’s good. Maybe it was designed to be cheap and
bad, because nobody would put that much effort on a game where suicidal babies
must be saved by overstressed fathers.
But hey, it’s out there.
Next week, something better. Or so I hope.
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