We’re continuing this review of the last Kirby game in
Kirby’s Dream Collection – and before you ask, yes, we’re almost done traveling
across Dream Land, but we’re far from done freeing it from the evil that is
Dark Matter.
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I can already feel flashbacks to the strongest Quebec winters
I have ever seen. |
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Pictured: The torture of a sound mini-game. |
Next up is the Iceberg, because when the sky isn’t
able to kill you, the ice might be. Freeing flowers from ice, killing Metroids
with your ice ability… it all sounds simple but the truth is much different. This
also has the most unbearable mini-game in the whole adventure. You meet Chef
Kawasaki. Five Gordo will come down, each making a sound. Kawasaki will then
hit his own Gordo with his frying pan, and you select the Gordo among the five that
made that sound. Easy, you say? Hell no. Especially because you have to do it
three times, and on the third time, the sounds all come pretty quickly, so good
luck remembering the order. And of course, the sounds are not all that loud, so
good luck hearing them… And of course, like all other mini-games put together
by characters in levels, this one takes place close to the end of an extremely
annoying level in which it’s incredibly easy to die, repeatedly. I wasted over
20 lives on that level alone. Kawasaki, once I’m done with your mini-game, you
know where you can shove that fucking Gordo. ….Well, provided you actually have
that kind of orifice on you, which is probably not the case in Dream Land… Either way, Kawasaki, I like you a lot more in the Kirby anime than in the games.
I mean, I knew Kirby games could be pretty difficult
on the platforming side. It’s always been a part of these games. And, to be
fair, “hard” doesn’t always equate to “bad”. It can equate to “annoying”, “tedious”,
“frustrating” even, but it only gets “bad” when it’s unfairly tipped against
the player, with really cheap tricks making the game infinitely harder than it
could be – and even then, a lot of gamers actually like that added challenge. I
get that the mini-games were meant to add a nice color, but
in my opinion, they were done rather poorly. Their placement near the end of
the levels, especially at the end of a hard level, can make them really
annoying. Not to mention that the time window is very short to memorize what
the game wants you to. Even worse than that, I suspect the mini-game character’s requests
afterwards are also randomized, so sometimes it’s almost completely down to
luck. And as I said time and time again, I am about as lucky as a guy who opens
umbrellas inside, breaks a mirror once a week, and crosses the same black cat under
a ladder every day on his way to work. I finally managed to solve Kawasaki’s
mini-game… and I swear I’m never going back to that level again.
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You'll believe a broom can sweep
your ass. |
In Level 5, you must face almost all of the enemies in
the game in various rooms, and to get the Heart Star you must do it with one
particular Animal Friend, Nago the Cat, all the way through. In the last proper level, you have to
collect an angel’s feathers, each in a different room, by using the ability
earned in the previous room. Tough, because most fights here are against
mid-bosses, but you just have to remember to get rid of your previous ability
before picking up the next one, and repeat this eight times. Finally, we have
all 30 Heart Stars, and so we can fight King Dedede.
The penguin is tough, but this time around you are
allowed to keep your Animal Friend for the fight, and the Rick+Cutter combo
works like a charm. At first, King Dedede uses his normal attacks, but when
he’s defeated once he rises from the ground, his belly becomes an eye or a
mouth and it starts attacking like Dark Matter. Shooting blobs of darkness, turning into a mouth and trying to chomp Kirby... That’s some pure body horror
right there, can you even imagine the goofy, comical penguin suddenly looking like
that?
Once Dark Matter King Dedede is defeated, he falls to
the floor and the Heart Stars of World 5 join to expel Dark Matter from the
Iceberg region. Now, the center of the planet, the epicenter of Dark Matter, is
available, known as World 6. All thirty Heart Stars merge to form the Love-Love
Stick, a scepter that shoots hearts. Pretty much the number 1 reason why Heart
isn’t a power that sucks. Oh, and there’s also all that friendship stuff and
whatnot… But nobody cares about that.
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HEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRTTT! |
This place is one long battle against Dark Matter, in
three phases: First is regular Dark Matter, using attacks very similar to its
patterns in Kirby’s Dream Land 2. When Kirby destroys that one, it explodes,
but soon its white center reforms to become a giant eye with a red pupil, known
as 0 (Or Zero, if you prefer). That one is pretty tough, as it shoots miniature
Dark Matters and sometimes even patches of red that we can pretty much state to
be blood. Because that’s always how it is with the Kirby series; cute and
adorable on the surface, with a world of demons hidden behind. Forget Whispy,
Kracko, Dedede; those are nothing. Dream Land is a gate to the Nightmare
Universe.
When Zero is defeated, it seems to go away, but its
red pupil doesn’t yet want to leave. It can still kill you, so be careful;
thankfully, it also has only eight Hit Points and is fairly easy to avoid, so
if you’ve got some strength left, you should be fine. After 0’s center is
destroyed, Kirby, still floating above the planet, gets to see Dark Matter’s
grip vanish completely, leaving him with a beautiful panorama.
Of course, if you defeated King Dedede without
collecting all Hearts Stars, you don’t get to see any of that. Instead, you see
Iceberg freed from the evil, but that big dark mass in the center of Planet
Popstar is still there, ready to strike again anytime soon. Due to time constraints,
I tried to collect all of the Heart Stars as I was progressing through the game
(now that I have a job, I have a bit less time to write these reviews). Even
then, many Heart Stars were pretty tricky. You already know I raged at many of
them. The upside is that once a Heart Star has been collected, you can complete
the mission in a level again, but you’ll instead be given an extra life as
reward. Which, hey, an extra life. Those become rare in late-game, and you’ll
lose many trying to accomplish the later Heart Star missions, so you can’t
refuse them! It’s a good incentive to beat the missions in World 1 again
repeatedly!
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Even if you did defeat it...
It comes back in the sequel, for the Nintendo 64. |
Oh, but don’t you go and believe that this is over!
You know that the Kirby series loves to include additional material! Once
you’ve beaten the Story Mode, you can go back to the File Select to access the
bonus stuff. This includes three options:
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Ado: "I'm contractually obliged."
Dedede: "Can we NOT do this?"
Whispy: "If I'm getting beat up again,
SO ARE YOU!" |
-Boss Butch: You knew this was coming, almost every
game in the series has this option. You have only one Life, no healing items in
sight, no Copy Abilities, no Animal Friends, and you can’t summon Gooey either!
And you must defeat all eight bosses starting by Whispy, then Acro, Pon and
Con, Ado (and all the bosses she summons, god damn it!), Dedede, Dark Matter,
0, and 0’s eyeball. To say that this is a challenge is an understatement.
-Super NES MG5: A special mode that combines all five
mission mini-games. The advantage is that you don’t have to go across a level
to do them, the disadvantage is that you have to ace each and every single one
of them, yes, even the sound-based one. They’re a tad slower than the
originals, so with excellent memory you might be able to do it.
-Jumping: During Story Mode, when Kirby finishes a
level, he gets to a Goal Game where he has to jump to one square in front of
him. You press A and, depending on how much Kirby prepared himself to jump,
he’ll land on a square closer or further from his starting position. The squares include healing items, little stars, a
1-Up, and a few grinning faces that give nothing. The mini-game Jumping is
basically this, except you have to do it multiple times to reach the end
without ever getting a grinning face. Almost entirely down to dumb luck.
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One of the stepping stones of modern gaming. Hi Jumpman! |
That’s all there is to this game, I can safely say
I’ve discussed every part of it. And yes, it is another fantastic Kirby game
from the folks at HAL Laboratory. Quite a few things are required to make a
game unique.
First is a unique style. On this front, many Kirby
games try to look unique, whether it’s Kirby’s Epic Yarn or the more recent
Kirby and the Rainbow Curse. Kirby’s Dream Land 3 looks like it was hand-drawn
and hand-colored. Of course, nowadays thanks to the burst of indie games
online, more games can look like this, but it was pretty special back on the
Super NES.
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Who though hamsters were an effective way to scale
mountains? |
Second is a unique gameplay. The Kirby series has
always been unique, and I don’t think there has ever been another video game
character using copy abilities to the extent that Kirby does. Once again, most
Kirby games try to put a spin on those abilities; Dream Land 2 introduced the
Animal Friends, a concept we see here again, improved with three more Friends
(and Gooey). It introduces the quests, which you have to complete in order to
get the Heart Stars; this is different from the Rainbow Drops in Dream Land 2,
as those were scattered around the many worlds and you didn’t meet NPCs that you had to help. The mini-games were also pretty novel back then, considering they are
parts of levels, and you have to win at them to get to the final boss. Last but
not least, many levels here have gimmicks. Those range from the mission-imposed
ones (don’t step on flowers) to air or field traps (as an example, in the first
level of Iceberg, you have to thaw flowers out of the ice, and not crush any of
them, which is tricky since there are heavy clouds passing by always blocking
the view, which makes it hard to see where the flowers are). Yeah, New Super
Mario Bros. Wii may have done a similar thing, but the concept definitely
existed before. I must mention as well the game’s attempts at surprising you
with unexpected changes to the regular opponents, like Whispy Wood suddenly charging at Kirby or Dedede
suddenly growing an eye on his belly.
Third is memorable characters. Kirby, Dedede, they’re
memorable alright, which brings me to the villain: Dark Matter. Notorious as
one of the most evil monsters in all of the Kirby Universe, being the villain
in no less than three Kirby games, and while it was already established as some
sort of Eldritch creature in the previous game, here it becomes downright
terrifying, despite still being nothing more than a floating sphere. It shoots
blood, for Christ’s sake! In a game for kids! You’re gonna remember it, that’s
for damn sure!
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Pretty great that they upgraded some Kirby bosses...
and then got very devilish with some others...
Thanks again, Ado, for your Kracko... |
I do have a few points of criticism for the game. In
some cases, you’re not going to know what to do in a mission, as the NPC at the
end of the level cannot speak to you. Thus, you have to figure it out yourself.
That’s already tricky, but then take into consideration the harder missions
where you have to use a particular ability, often with a particular Animal
Friend (or in one case, switch between two Animal Friends multiple times)… Then
as I mentioned earlier, I quite dislike the memory mini-games that are given as
missions. Not only do you need to think fast, you also need to be able to
remember what’s presented to you, and failure to do so means you must restart
the entire level (because Kirby can only respawn on a screen where he dies, and
he can’t die in a mini-game room, so if he dies in the next room, he’ll respawn
there).
But do I have anything else to say? Nah, not really.
Awesome game, you should try it. And now, with these words, I have officially
finished reviewing the sixth Kirby game in Kirby’s Dream Collection, which
means I can finally move on to something else!
…Oh no, wait, I have to talk about the three episodes
of Kirby: Right Back At Ya that are also in that collector Wii game… Well then,
how about we do that next week?