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Showing posts with label Platformer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Platformer. Show all posts

September 11, 2026

Quick Review: Guacamelee! Gold Edition


Luchador life isn't for me. What would my stage name be anyway? El Tabarnaco?

Some great stories start with the hero dying. Wait, what?
A game by Drinkbox Studios published by them and Kepler Ghost and released on August 8th, 2013, Guacamelee! (specifically, the Gold Edition) is a metroidvania set in Mexican culture. Our protagonist, agave farmer Juan, is helping prepare the Dia de los Muertos festivities when tragedy strikes. El Presidente’s daughter, whom Juan had a crush on, is kidnapped by Carlos Calaca, a lich from the World of the Dead and his crew of other assorted superpowered undead. Calaca plans to unite it with the world of the living, which would cause untold chaos. Juan is killed during his rescue attempt and lands in the World of the Dead. There, he finds a magical luchador mask allowing him to return to the living, where he must use his new wrestling abilities to stop the lich’s plan.

No matter how big the monster, the Rooster Uppercut will
take them down! Or any new comes that we get afterwards.
Classic metroidvania formula; Juan starts with the basics. As we progress, however, we’ll unlock new skills allowing him to access new areas, and venture further into the world. The special moves, all color-coded can be used both offensively and for platforming; as an example, the first is a flying uppercut that can let Juan reach platforms otherwise too high for him. The colored moves are associated with colored roadblocks which Juan breaks by using the corresponding attack. These are all triggered with a specific button or key pressed while holding an arrow key or the joystick in one direction (ex. Up for the uppercut). These moves require stamina points to use, however, so you may have to wait if you spend all those points quickly.

You can beat a skeleton by throwing another skeleton into
it! They deserve it, they work for evil!
The combat system emphasizes Juan’s capacity to chain hits and rain damage. Long combos can be comprised of hits on the ground, in midair, special moves, and full-body wrestling throws, and can net you extra money! Cash can be spent at save points to gain new attacks, as well as perks relating to stamina and health. The fights get harder by throwing new ideas and challenges. Some enemies can only be fought in one of the two worlds. Later enemies are protected by color shields that must be destroyed with the corresponding special move before they can be damaged.

Come one come all, I've got exactly what each of you needs!
Two Rooster Uppercuts, and a headbutt, to go!

August 6, 2026

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time (Part 3)


Back where it all started... But it's not exactly gonna
go the same way.

Assorted Annoyances

This is the kind of game where, if you are not focusing
on getting Gems, you will have a hard time, but it will
be doable. My mistake was trying to go for the All Crates
Gems every time I entered a level.. and suffering a lot
because of it. In my defense, I thought it wouldn't be
that bad, after playing the previous games!
You know what, let’s get the annoyances out before the finale. So, this game is… Well, I have already brought up the difficulty. I think I haven’t made it clear yet. Dying 20 times per level? That was at the beginning. The closer to the end I got, the bigger that number got. It wasn’t rare to die upwards of 50 times in a level’s first go-through, as I discovered, one painful mistake after the other, all the ways in which Crash/Coco/Tawna/Dingodile/Cortex could die. It is, by no means, the only tough platformer I’ve played all year, but it is among the hardest I’ve ever played – and, honestly, I think it might be the hardest I’ve pushed through, all the way to the end credits.

I remember hating the "Run on walls" parts. If your momentum
is stopped, you fall and die. And these parts love to put crates
in your way, so you have to break them. Oh! And combine
that to the gravity shenanigans in later worlds, too! Ugh.
I know I said that the original three Crash games had cruel platforming moments; I found that out as I was discovering them through the N. Sane Trilogy (though, as has been mentioned, the remasters aren’t entirely identical to their originals, which I haven’t really played). In comparison to Crash 4, Crash 1 through Warped! feel like a goddamn walk in the park. And I think a part of that might be caused by Crash 4’s own excesses. The levels are too long, several levels have too many crates, every instance with a Quantum Mask throws something new at you…

A lot fo bonus stages are all about using your abilities at
very specific moments and slapping steel ! crates in
what order, and when, for a chance to destroy every crate.
I miss the simplicity of the average Crash 1-through-3
Bonus Stage.
Speaking of crates, Bonus levels make a return. They keep the system from the remasters: If you die in them, you don’t lose a life, and the Bonus level transporter counts as a free Checkpoint. But! In the remasters, they were generally easy. Well, no more. Bonus levels in It’s About Time decided, “you know what? The player doesn’t lose lives playing these, so fuck it, we’re gonna be insanely hard!” In an utterly brutal game, these manage to be even worse. They often require use of the Quantum Masks, and are designed like puzzle platformers. You must figure out the right path, often backtracking both ways, to break every crate, and in what order, as there is sometimes only one correct “answer” to catch everything. And! Let me remind you that these bonus levels are mandatory, because their crates still count within their level’s total! Can’t figure it out? Tough shit!

Making things phase in and out, including barriers that can
get in your way, while you are also running on walls and
carefully timing your jumps. It's... a little much.
After a while, Crash 4 starts to feel more like a puzzle platformer than just a platformer. In fact, I know I have seen or played games with the exact mechanics brought forth by the Quantum Masks – but usually they aren't all in the same product. Making things appear and disappear to progress? Seen it. Messing with time? Seen it. Gravity shenanigans? Seen it! Hell, even ‘Akano’s ability involves some degree of knowing when to turn the special spin on or off. At the end, you must often adapt to using the masks interchangeably within the same level… or, in the very final stretches, one after the other in quick succession. Crash 4 is basically 4 puzzle platformers in one Bandicoot-shaped trench coat.

August 3, 2026

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time (Part 2)


A new ally? And more coming? Things are about to get interesting.

Super-Spinning, Magic Potions, and Funny Costumes

At the end of Salty Wharf, the group finds the second Quantum Mask, as confirmed by Lani-Loli. The new guy is named ‘Akano and he represents dark matter. Though he doesn’t say much, he packs quite a punch.

This is not flying, this is spinning with style!
The next dimension we visit is Tranquility Falls, which looks like a fantasy land. Spyro could live here! The enemy wanting a rematch with our heroes is N. Brio, whose chemical concoctions can do so much they might as well be magic. This world is our first use of ‘Akano. This mask’s ability is a powered-up spin, not unlike an ability gained in Warped!. Unlike the regular spin, it is triggered by pressing the X button (like all mask abilities), and will make the Bandicoot spin and as long as you haven’t pressed X again to cancel it. While spinning through this method, Crash and Coco’s jumps become very floaty, giving them extra reach, and they will instantly destroy any breakable crates they touch. This can be a double-edged sword since the heroes still get hurt if they spin into TNT and Nitro crates.

Ah yes, Legally Distinct Big Green Angry Smasher Guy.

At the end of this world, we square off against N. Brio, and this fight begins similarly to the one in Crash 1 and its N. Sane Trilogy version. In the second round, Brio drinks his own potion and becomes a hulking brute that attacks directly. To damage this form, we need ‘Akano, as the boosted spins are the only thing that can knock Hulkbrio off-stage and hurt him.

Gotta tough out the sonar-style chase sequence.
After N. Brio is defeated, we unlock the N. Verted Mode. It opens a new version of every level beaten so far; and for every subsequent level, an N. Verted version is unlocked after beating the original. A few things change in this new challenge; for starters, Wumpa fruits are replaced by… Grape-like Berries! Gasp! The second is that the stage is horizontally flipped; Bonus stages and 2D sections are crossed right to left, and all 3D areas are mirrored.

Oh, they still haven't learned to swim. They just don't
need to in the Sn@xx Dimension N. Verted.
Each N. Verted world has its own design twist that makes it trickier to navigate – as if they weren’t so goddamn hard already! As an example, on N. Sanity Island, the level will be made of silhouettes, and the place will go dark unless you periodically use the spin, lighting up the area like the ping of a submarine sonar. In Salty Wharf, the world starts in black and white, aside from crates and enemies; several actions will bring back the color, which will stick even if you die. The screwy design changes for the next world, and again in the next, and so on. One world ends up underwater, with all the screwy physics this implies!

Oh, and the Gems return, making for a possible total of 12 for every level; six normal, six N. Verted. Same requirements, too; the only difference is that the hidden Gem is moved to a different spot. Still, good luck getting them all  this takes the game's Gems total from 228 to 456! But hey, at least you can get some cool skins out of them.

July 31, 2026

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time (Part 1)


4: It’s About Time (Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)

After its first three installments, the Crash Bandicoot franchise seemingly hit a lull. Plenty of games came out, with some following the Mario Spinoff formula: Make ‘em race! Make ‘em go around a board and play mini-games! Platformers still happened amidst all these new concepts, with varying levels of quality. However, fans felt like there was no true return to form until the N. Sane Trilogy came out. This renewed vigor eventually led to the making of a new, proper, “official” sequel to the OG trilogy.

We're starting on known ground.
Don't worry, that's gonna change real soon.
And yes, I played and talked about the N. Sane Trilogy these past three weeks exclusively so I could have the necessary background to talk about this one. Fans had to wait 22 years after Crash Bandicoot: Warped! for it to come out. But Crash 4 finally did, with a release for PS4 and Xbox One on October 2nd, 2020, then to Switch, PS5 and XSXS on March 12th, 2021, then two weeks later on PC. You’ve already seen this game’s title at the top of this article, and it’s very tongue-in-cheek, considering the long time between this entry and the one that precedes it in the strange chronology of the Crash series. For the needs of this story, it acts like no new games happened between the franchise's third and fourth installments; you can bet they will make a joke or two about that. Well then! It’s about time we cover the conclusion of this epic! (…Unless a Crash 5 comes out eventually.) For the record, I am playing this one on Switch.


They’re Back

N. Tropy is a surprisingly much darker villain in this game
than just about any other enemy Crash has ever faced.
Following their defeat in Crash 3, Neo Cortex, N. Tropy, Uka Uka, N. Gin, and for some reason, N. Brio as well, are stuck in a place out of time. They’ve been stuck there for what feels like decades. (I mean… at least two of ‘em). Cortex keeps self-pitying over his repeated failures, while Uka Uka attempts to open a portal to get them out of this place and back to the world they desperately want to take control of. In a stroke of luck, the evil mask finally makes a tear through the fabric of reality that will allow them to return, but the task is so exhausting that it falls unconscious. The scientists opt to escape while leaving the commanding, nasty mask behind. In its place, Nefarious Tropy, the time master, takes leadership of the group. He’s already seeing far beyond full control of the world…

July 24, 2026

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy: Warped!


Finishing the trilogy today!

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped!


This guy scares the biggest enemy we've had so far. That
usually means nothing good.
The game begins after the good ending of Crash 2 – the one you get by collecting all the Gems and beating Cortex again. The diminutive scientist’s space station explodes and crashes onto the planet, striking an old temple. Out of it comes an evil spirit known as Uka Uka; if you’ve played the rest of the N. Sane Trilogy, you may recognize this mask as the guy who threateningly says “Game Over” when you lose all your lives. Cortex has been working for Uka Uka this entire time, first by making the animals into smart but docile soldiers, and second by making Crash gather magical crystals. The evil mask was the one trying to enslave the entire planet all along. In an attempt to do it right this time, the mask summons a new, blue-skinned scientist with a clock theme…

Sounds important, I should listen to what Aku Aku is sayi-
Oh, the Bandicoots adopted Polar? Awwwwwwww!

And so we begin in the medieval era, with frogs that turn
into people if they kiss Crash, and lab assistants behaving
as if they were at the renaissance fair.
The wind turns on Wumpa Islands. Aku Aku immediately knows what’s up. The guardian mask of the islands (now voiced by Greg Eagles, whom you might know as Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) tells the Bandicoots about the villainous Uka Uka. He teleports the two to the Time Twister. This floating base owned by Cortex’s new scientist ally will allow the villains to hunt down the Crystals across past eras, since we’ve already found them all in the modern day. It’s up to Crash and Coco to get the Crystals (and the Gems) first, beating out their enemies. Oh, that’s it? We’re doing a Time Heist? Let’s go! I can't wait to see the endgame of that!

July 17, 2026

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy - 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Crash Bandicoot 12: Cortex Strikes BackWarped!

Welcome back to this year’s anniversary reviews! Today, we’re moving to the next game in the collection!

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back


Uh oh. He's got a lightbulb moment, and that means
nothing good.

This story begins immediately after Crash 1. Neo Cortex was tossed from his zeppelin and is falling to the islands below. He survives the crash (pun intended) and finds that he has landed in an underground cave where he finds a crystal glowing a faint purple. He gets a new idea…

Turtle armadillo, doesn't matter; you're in my way!
Cut to a year later. Crash Bandicoot and his brainy sister Coco are chilling on their island when Coco’s laptop runs out of juice. Just the usual problem for her, really. And even though she’s playable here, no way she’s going to get a new battery herself! Nah, bro’s gotta do it. Crash thus embarks on this quest. But midway through the first level, he steps on a teleporter and gets abducted. He appears on a space station owned by Cortex and his new assistant, Dr. N. Gin. He is greeted by a giant hologram of Cortex’s face.

"You better not pull out your yo-yo while I am expositing,
Crash! Are you... Hey! I said put that away!"

I see it over there! Yeah. That's the point.
They aren't hard to find. At all!
Cortex says that, although they have been enemies before, he and the Bandicoot need to team up against an even greater threat coming from space – soon the planets will align, and the resulting energy might destroy the Earth. Cortex has found the Master Crystal that can put a stop to this; however, it needs several more “slave” Crystals to have enough power to prevent the catastrophe. the diminutive scientist claims he will need the physically capable mammal to collect 25 Crystals scattered around the world. Cortex will provide the means of teleportation, and occasional commentary on our progress.

July 10, 2026

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy - Crash Bandicoot 1


Crash Bandicoot 12: Cortex Strikes BackWarped!

Yeeaaahhhh... I was not a fan. In fact, after playing today's
games, I might like Crash Purple even less.
I don’t know if anyone else reading this knows what the first game ever reviewed on this blog was, way back on July 19th, 2013. Well, it was actually a duet of games for the Game Boy Advance: Crash Purple: Ripto's Revenge, and Spyro Orange: The Cortex Conspiracy. This not-very-ambitious crossover had Crash and Spyro square against each other due to the machinations of their respective villains. The games, developed by Vicarious Visions were… shall we say… not that great. At best, they were tolerable 2D platformers that put much bigger focus on playing mini-games, of all things. Anybody that’s accustomed to Crash’s usual extra-tough 2.5D platforming or Spyro’s 3D platforming likely didn’t get their money’s worth.

Run! Ruuuuuuun!
I bring this up because I haven’t touched either franchise since. That review was 13 years ago. And even on Steam, when I got my hands on the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy and the Spyro Reignited Trilogy, it took me forever to even think of playing them. Well! I’m crossing one of these two off the bucket list for this year’s anniversary review. Maybe the other one next year? Who knows.

I also have Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time among the games I want to cover this year, and I have a little rule for myself: If I want to cover a game that isn’t the first in a series, but I own any that came before in that series, then I will want to cover those previous ones too if it matters. Might as well get this show on the road. I can call it a… Crash course across the franchise.

Also developed by Vicarious Visions, and published by Activision, the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy was released first to PlayStation 4 on June 30th, 2017, and to Steam a year later. It is comprised of remastered/remade versions of the franchise’s first three games, all of which were PlayStation games originally developed by Naughty Dog:

  • Crash Bandicoot, released on September 9th, 1996;
  • Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, on November 6th, 1997;
  • And Crash Bandicoot: Warped, on November 3rd, 1998. This would be the last proper entry for these platformers for about 22 years.


One game per year? Crash is a regular! …Well, not to this blog he isn’t! But I’m looking forward to correcting that. We’re starting this collection of games NOW!

May 29, 2026

Exploring the Itch.io Collection #6

I am slowly working through the collection! I don’t know how long this will take me, but I’ll keep progressing!

Many games here today, some from the previous article, and
some from the next.

Experiences

Grievance: Less a game than a short interactive story. It’s black text on a white background, there is no music, and your occasional input is to choose where the plot goes or what some characters say, though I assume these do not make a ton of difference in the end. This tells the tale of three characters. A farmer, a guardsman, and a princess, all of whom have their lives impacted by a meeting with the king of the land. The store page describes this tale as a fable about power, how it corrupts those who have it, and how it damages those who don’t. No happy endings here, that’s by design.

You might see why I didn't want that pic to be the one
everyone would see when I was posting my link to this review.
A completely normal dating simulator that is definitely completely sweet, innocent and normal: Yes, that’s the title. This is… a parody of dating sims. All the characters are one-dimensional, the art is stick figures over child-level drawings, the music is just someone singing to themselves, the plot is absurd nonsense, only one minor character (an author avatar/cameo) has all their lines properly voiced, and the text is packed with spelling mistakes. And… I’m sure this is on purpose. Like some dadaist thing. I kept expecting it to take a hard swerve into a different direction, like DDLC, but nope. It’s more annoying than anything else, to be honest. Good for maybe a few laughs, though, if you can tolerate what it’s going for.

The kids have got to leave the nest at some point!
One-Eyed Lee: Prologue: A young elf wants to escape from his wheat-farming family and see the world; but all his attempts were thwarted by his parents, his two brothers, and his sister. One night, at last, he makes it out of the wheat field, only to find a shadowy creature that grants him a worrisome, yet freeing, superpower… This visual novel has no decisions to make, and is just a story you can follow at your leisure. Not much of a game, but it IS intended as a prologue; its creator DarkChibiShadow only released one full chapter for this series yet, which I’ve also received in the Itch.io bundles I purchased. Someday, I’ll get to it! In the meantime, I could enjoy the good art, nice music, and character complexity shown in this short product.

Social Reach

Yup. It's like I said. Every single line pulled right out of the
transphobe's playbook. This game may awaken sad memories
for those who did go through this sort of thing with their own
families.
Boa Retina: A game by Jennifer Raye about someone experiencing gender uncertainty and finally confronting “the family” (represented by a winged monster eye) about her discovered trans identity. The eye will run through the whole transphobic script, starting at utilitarian excuses (“You’ll have a harder time finding work”) before moving on to emotional/physical abuse. To say nothing of the protagonist doubting her choice. You go through four documents re-exploring the protagonist’s self-discovery, hoping to find better arguments and defend this life-changing decision, without luck. I’m as cis male as they get; I will never live this. Thus, I could only guess that transition is tough for any person that has a family that would react like the monster eye. Seeing it firsthand through this game, however short, gives an unmistakable impression of just how mentally taxing making that choice, and especially coming forward about it, can be in some families. Something tells me that it is inspired by Raye’s real-life experiences, and as a result, it portrays this reality with eye-opening brutality.

I use the "Social Reach" part of these articles to showcase
games that treat important social issues in some way. And
islamophobia, even portrayed through allegory, counts
as a great social problem.
Devtheism: This game was created on RPG Maker. Its meta setting presents the tale of someone who is mocked for their belief in “Developers”, which clashes with the beliefs of other NPCs in an “Engine” that created everyone. After being mocked once again over it (“Your kind blows up people that disagree with them! Your kind can’t take a joke when we picture what you believe in!”), the main character sets out on a quest to prove the existence of Developers… or, perhaps, they will find a life truth: That what one believes in shouldn’t matter, what should matter is how good each person is. It is unfortunate how easily you can guess this game’s developer’s faith based entirely on the insults their main character receives; goes to show, those stereotypes are unfortunately still far too widespread. This is an allegory for religious persecution, so the topic is heavy; but the tone is lighthearted overall. And very metafictional.

Social Justice Warriors: The title is explained on the game’s page. Attacking, ridiculing and silencing each other online with terms like SJW or troll “not only fails to achieve progress but has an additional effect of escalating the conflict and wearing you down in the process”. Pick a class (which gets given traits pertaining to a specific online community), then battle against increasingly difficult “trolls” that use hateful rhetoric. Keep a close eye on your levels of patience and reputation; enemies have those too, and to defeat a troll, you must deplete either one. No patience means they give up, no reputation means their reach is destroyed. The same applies to your character, and casting your “spells” often costs patience or reputation. Clever and hilarious concept, with a fair bit of challenge to be found, especially late in the game when your stats have been lowered through many tough battles and it becomes a struggle for survival. Hey, you can raise an important point about society and still be funny about it!

Plain Games

So, I guess this is in the future, because shape sorter
toys cannot be that old- ... ....right?
(Not Escape Room): In this visual novel, three women have been trapped in what they assume is an escape room game by an AI. It is meant to be an inescapable trap for them to stay in forever. The three friends still treat it as solvable, and you, as the AI, will attempt to sow division to increase tensions. You select some of the ways in which the “escape room” game goes, to make the puzzles impossible to solve. Can you really keep these three trapped? (Probably not.) Fun little game; the characters are enjoyable, though there aren’t many choices to see how you could break their friendship. I assume there are multiple endings.

Of course my first pick was the dog. It's easy mode.
Not that there's much difficulty to be found here.
Eternia: Pet Whisperer: In this visual novel, your character is looking to adopt a pet to liven up their empty apartment. The shelter they visit has six pets… and they all talk! You can some time with them every day, and then adopt them. You are even given the option to time travel in order to adopt all of them! Or you can end at just one pet, too. Either way, this is a no-stress game, you can let the story play out. You can tell the Hatoful Boyfriend inspiration here. It’s pretty good and the art is neat, though since the choices are never too difficult, it’s very much an “autopilot” kind of game where you can just be in for the ride, without having to do much in the way of input outside of choosing which pet to focus on during each loop.

The gate is open! Quick, go through!
Eves Drop: An arcade-like game in which you control a hacker’s digital self, breaking through many barriers of a Big Brother-esque program on the eve of the new millennium. The digital self freefalls through a corridor. You can float towards any sphere using WASD, spin it around with A and D to aim, and then shoot by holding down and then releasing the sphere with S. The goal is to shoot spheres to destroy the gate to the next level, and then float down and pass through. Careful, though; enemies get increasingly frequent and dangerous the deeper you go. Tricky game to figure out and play at first, but I reached the end on my fourth attempt. It’s an energetic game for an interesting idea.

I'll be right back to you, just gotta stuff the pot
with ALL the fod I can fit in it. Don't worry,
I will catch up on our conversation in a sec!
Hot Pot Panic: Your friend is in town, so you go to an all-you-can-eat hot pot restaurant to chat over what’s new in your lives. The goal is to cook your food in the pot, eat it, and end on a full stomach before you run out of conversation topics. You must keep track of what your friend says, because she’ll ask for your input. And you must keep track of how your food cooks, because it’s only good to eat for a short window of time where it shines gold in the pot! You can lose either by not having a full stomach after running out of topics, or your friend figuring out, due to repeated wrong responses or staring at the pot too much, that you were more focused on the food than on her. Surprisingly challenging (the timing is tricky), and a great way to practice quick reading!

Bit of SUPERHOT in there too, since
enemies move faster when you move.
TRAINBOW: The biggest pain with this one was making it work, as I had to go into its folder and manually open the game with the actual app within the files. In this arcade game, you are Manpuck, the circle on the screen, and you are tasked with taking every flower bulb in each stage and taking it to the exit, one at a time. Careful, though; every picked flower will sprout enemies that will chase Manpuck. However, if you hide behind walls while they’re hunting you, they will eventually selfdestruct. Or you can run over a sprouting enemy to kill it before maturity.

The Primary mode is made of seven tutorial-like stages; their completion unlocks Secondary, made of 40 levels. In that mode, each stage has 8 bulbs, and the more bulbs you’ve collected, the more stages open. Still not enough? There are endless modes as well! It’s a fun little game with more depth than one could expect at first; I didn’t finish it, but I see its worth and challenge.

Took me like 10 minutes to get up that tower of skulls.
This was not the end of the game, it was the second area.
Everything else after it was much easier.
Cardiac: A monochromatic horror game in which you control a writhing mass of flesh that can move around thanks to tendrils. Right-click to extend the tendrils forward, left-click to be pulled in the direction of what they caught. The game begins with moving around through tunnels, then evolves to semi-platforming. The struggle is real. Gameplay is tricky, since you don’t control where your tendrils go, which makes movement difficult – that’s on purpose. The atmosphere is down pat, the music is appropriately tense, and the sound design… euuugh… all that squelching, all that wet sound… Still got chills of disgust.

Waving through the space snakes...
Dragons In Space: Not actual dragons. In this abstract game, you control a ship and must stay alive, destroy enemies, and pick up the escape pods. You gain one star in a level for each task successfully completed (the “stay alive” one is earned by not getting hit at all). Eight levels, with enemies and hazards getting meaner and tougher to face. The ship you play cycles between three weapons, you don’t control which weapon you’re using in a level, and not every weapon is good in every situation (and the worst weapon is automatically selected against the final boss!). The gameplay has its hiccups, it’s not well optimized; but the abstract art style gives it a charm, in a “makes it look like it was drawn by a child” kind of way.

Forget the ghost, I wanna know what's the trouble with that
one jackass in the chat that's crapping over everything that's
happening. Don't we have mods or something?
LiveScream: Visiting a haunted mansion for views, how hard can it be? In this point-and-click, your character enters the mansion in search for supernatural events. You can see the chat commenting your actions as you play. You can solve little puzzles, and push through in the face of adversity. Manage your fear level (if you get too scared to continue, your character runs out screaming!) and your audience interest level (which goes up when interesting stuff happens). The point-and-click aspect is limited, as it only involves investigating across 3 rooms (+ one more, if you can find it) and performing actions (such as pushing forward when something weird is happening). There is no “true” ending, though there’s a wide range of outcomes. It’s got some in-game achievements, too!

Better walk out of this room before I go mad
from the discovery. Yeah.
Remnants: In this point-and-click created in RPG Maker 2003, your nonbinary character in a cool cape is investigating a hidden cave under a dying forest. The deeper they go, the creepier it gets, from abandoned sewers to a secret base and then, downright Eldritch locales. The character can find flashing items and use them to find their way to lower floors. Almost everything they can look at will elicit a comment on their part. This game focuses far more on narrative and setting an ambiance than on difficulty, but that’s to its benefit. Plus, there are many comedic moments from the character’s quips.


Next week: A full-length review!

May 8, 2026

Exploring the Itch.io Collection #5


It’s been a while since I last did one of these! I figured I would do one to fill in while I make my way through larger games that take longer to finish.

Last month, I spent an entire week re-making the list of games in my collection over on itch.io, because I felt the original was incomplete and I wanted to make it feel right. The result? Well, instead of about 800, I actually have 1269 games to check out. That’s without counting the 80 I covered last year, or the other 26 I already had on Steam and which I have either already played or will play in the future, for a grand total of 1375 games. …I know, that’s a lot. And more than 500 of them don’t have recorded times on HowLongToBeat.

Most of today’s article was written last year. I added to it after every super-short game I played. A few of the ones covered here, though, have been played this past week. I can’t promise to cover 80 games like this once again in 2026, but any progress will be good. Especially with those revised numbers.

As stated in the Index, I have this page where anyone can see the games I have already tested on the platform. You can always go back to it to see how much progress I’ve made in that collection, or which games are coming up in the next article. I still include a link to every game I discuss here, since I am giving visibility to everything I cover in these articles, and you can go check out each one. Even if I didn’t like one of them, you can go check it out for yourself; maybe YOU will enjoy it!

Experiences

Can I at least get a glass of water to help that
block of brick and sand down?
The Indifferent Wonder of an Edible Place: In the fashion of taking a metaphorical image for a real issue and making it literal, in this game you are someone who eats buildings to make them disappear. This is accompanied, and inspired, by a poem from 1960, translated to English in 1983, about the historical erasure done by the state of Bombay. In the game itself, you are told to eat specific numbered pieces of a large tower. If you don’t eat the correct piece, your character gets poisoned and is incapacitated for a moment. You can use the scope with the right-click button to figure out where the next “correct” piece is. Either way, this is history you’re making disappear, with no way to get it back.

If you see a giant green eye under war trenches, I think you
may be suffering from something worse than PTSD.
Please follow: A walking simulator/horror/puzzle combo in which you play a lone soldier venturing into the tunnels dug by the enemies and find… something. Deeper into the tunnel, there are puzzles involving worms, giant leeches, and other supernatural stuff. This short exploration ends with a freaky acid trip. The game’s look is very “early 3D” of video games (think N64 or PS1), the sound design grossed me out the entire way through, and the visuals…. Jesus, that’s freaky. It’s horror alright.

April 24, 2026

Donkey Kong Country Returns


If there’s a Nintendo platforming franchise I’ve seldom discussed, it’s Donkey Kong Country. I’ve only ever played the very first game, on the SNES, and even wrote a quick “Gaming Memories” article about it some time ago. The two sequels? I’ve never played them, though I know they are available among the Nintendo Classics, and so are all the Donkey Kong Land games for Game Boy consoles. DK 64? Also never played, but I heard a lot about it (as well as all the ways that fans improved its system on emulators). Anything else? Well, I could talk about the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, but the plumber has no business stealing the spotlight today.

This series returned on the Wii. Developed by Retro Studios (instead of Rare, obviously) and released on November 21st, 2010 in North America, this entry sees a return to playing with both DK and his buddy Diddy Kong as a new villain rises on their island. Notably, this game had a port for Nintendo 3DS released in 2013, and an HD rerelease for the Switch in January 2025; today, I am covering the Wii game.


Tiki Threat

Oh, that's a big one. Good. It'll just be more satisfying to
break it into pieces at the end.
A normal day on Kong Island is interrupted by the eruption of its volcano. Out of the bubbling lava come large rocks that break, revealing tiki monsters that instantly cool down in the open air. Along with them, a gigantic tiki monster appears from the depths of the volcano. The deity instantly requests a tribute to appease him. The tikis get to work, hypnotizing the island fauna to do their bidding. They direct the animals to steal… what else? Donkey Kong’s banana hoard, of course!