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August 11, 2023

Quick Review: Jones on Fire


Must save all the kittens!

A creation of Glass Bottom Games released on March 14th, 2013, Jones on Fire tells the tale of Jones, volunteer firefighter. As the world inexplicably burns outside, she has one goal in mind: The sentence that opened this article. Why? Because kittens are cute, is all! We don’t need anything else, do we?

Kittens everywhere!

Already getting a fair bit trickier...
Light on plot? Perhaps. Then again, an endless runner doesn’t need much story. Gameplay is basic, too; Jones runs, and you can either press Up to make her jump, or Down to make her do a sliding dash. Levels are short, and at the end of each, you’re back at the station. Obstacles hurt, fire hurts, getting hurt too often means the end of a run and you must start over all the way at Level 1. The further into the levels you go, the more cats there are, but the more hazards there are as well, and the faster the game gets.

"The kitties will cry"? Do I look like I care? My ass has
met fire a hundred times to save you, little ingrates!"
You transfer the cats into currency used to upgrade Jones’ abilities. The higher the hazard level of the stage you finished, the more its cats are worth. The elusive and rare golden kitties instead give a higher form of money known as GK, which becomes the main currency for later upgrades, sometimes requiring hundreds of it. You can also earn cash by completing quick missions, which really helps. Upgrades purchased stick even after a Game Over, so there’s that. Among them, new abilities (being able to jump in the middle of a sliding dash, or dashing in the middle of a jump), power-ups (cat-magnet catnip, temporary invincibility or first-aid kits to restore Jones’ HP), quick boosters (effects that last for only one level), and cosmetic upgrades for the kitties. They’ll be wearing tiny hats!

As usual for an endless runner, as you progress through the levels, they get quicker – and harder, to the point where obstacles become rather tricky to avoid. A time comes where the better upgrades are necessary to progress. A point also comes where getting golden kitties is easier through missions, though the further you get the longer the missions take to complete.

Outrunning a literal wall of fire? For Jones,
that's just another Friday.
Fun game. I can imagine it being addictive to some, by its combination of a cute low-poly 3D style and simple yet effective gameplay. The latter doesn’t actually change much outside of difficulty, speed and upgrades affecting the various hazard levels. It's an infinite runner, but the maximum Hazard Level is 10, and I friggin' swear that thing is unbeatable and the random hazards are set in place specifically to not let you finish it. At some point, the upgrades’ increasing request of the hard-to-earn Golden Kitties turn the game into a grind for cash more than a challenge. The camera also seems to struggle to follow Jones, showing some obstacles too late to avoid them. Perfectly fine, but not the type of game I could see myself spending dozens of hours on – three hours in, and I already feel like I’ve seen all it had to offer. On the plus side, it means I’m all set for the sequel game Hot Tin Roof, which I also have.

Jones on Fire is available for 2.99$ USD.

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