Quick Review: Oh... Sir! The Insult Simulator

AKA Monty Python: The Home Game.

(I recommend you check the images in full size to see the insults and pieces of sentences.)

Uhh... "Your sister / looks like / a dead parrot / and /
smells of / spam!"

Developed by Vile Monarch, published by Good Shepherd Entertainment and released on October 25th, 2016, Oh… Sir! The Insult Simulator is a game of verbal jousting. Snarking knights, sardonic folks and other comical enemies using their words to deliver unforgettable beatdowns. Choose your character, choose your opponent, choose a setting (which features the precise squabble to insult each other over) and let your spite do the talking. Did you sell a dead parrot to a customer? Has someone taken your train seat? A scuffle about a corpse? Doesn’t matter! Mock your opponent into oblivion! “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

Wait, is that H.P. lovecraft? Gee, those tentacles would
explain a thing or two about his writings.
For insults, though, this is complete nonsense.

Ah, nothing like going for a walk in the park and
trading blows while sipping tea over a corpse.

The gameplay is fairly simple: These combats take place over sharing a nice cup of tea. A bank of words appears between the two, and they take turns picking a word to craft the sentence of their insult. You can choose to end a sentence as soon as you want, but in doing so you forfeit the chance to craft something longer and, thus, more harmful to your opponent’s ego, represented by a life bar. Both players have access to two extra pieces not in the main bank, available from their personal teacup, which they can sip on once during a round to reroll those two pieces.

"Your mother / was born in / a public loo / and /
doesn't own a colour telly!"

Each character has their weakness, a topic they’re particularly affected by – as an example, the starting character, Sir Knight, is an elderly educated fellow who hates being mocked using things of “modern” society, like Star Wars or social media. Strike those buttonsfor massive damage! To expand an insult into the next round, you can select a "(…)" when it appears among the choices. A sentence ends when you either pick a choice that ends with an exclamation mark, or hit the exclamation mark button yourself. The game also adapts options based on the turn your sentence takes (singular/plural, as an example). Furthermore, if you use the same subject of insult multiple rounds in a row, there will be an ego hit bonus to that insult. Be very careful, however; while making a long-winded insult is tempting, the longer you go, the harder it will be to craft a complete sentence. And a grammatically-incorrect sentence fails, dealing a big fat 0 damage to an opponent’s ego. You've made a fool of yourself!

You mean to tell me that God has family issues?
Gee, I never would've guessed!

In theory, this leads to hilarious mix-and-match insults frequently taking a turn for the absurd. In practice, the game’s greatest weakness is that it randomizes the bank of options on each turn, so not only is it fairly difficult to build something that’s satisfactory (or hits the enemy’s button), but you can also have pieces of sentences be taken by your opponent before you could grab them, so there is some strategy involved. As far as I know, the only non-randomized pieces are subjects from insults thrown in the previous round, probably to make repetition combos easier to achieve.

Do most of the insults make sense? No.
Are they complete non sequiturs? Yes.
Are they funny? Hell yes.

This game’s fine, it has a pretty comical art style and tone befitting its nature (and the Monty Python references are so common it might as well be an unofficial game adaptation!), and is a pretty unique (if imperfect) idea overall. The randomness of the pieces of sentence can work against the player, some mechanics are tricky to make the best use of, and most insults you’ll come up with won’t make any sense. That said, there’s a few single-player modes (quick play, and a short Tournament mode) as well as multiplayer options, and a handful of characters and scenes to unlock. The biggest flaw with the game may be that, in spite of its attempt at having a lot of stuff to craft insults with and some variety with characters and settings, it’s not too long until you’ve seen most of what the game has to offer.

The game costs 1.99$USD, or 1.59£. A sequel is available, subtitled The Hollywood Roast, featuring people from the more American side of entertainment, and that one has a free DLC adding famous YouTubers and Twitch streamers to the insult-o-thon.