Disneyland Adventures (Part 1)

I kind of want to be mean to this one. I’m split between “Well, Disney is like a trillion-dollar company so they can take some no-name blogger being nasty at them” and “But it’s Disney! I’d feel bad tainting this kid-friendly game!”

I know that the current pandemic has struck particularly hard in the United States, but it hasn’t stopped some non-essential businesses from staying open. Among them: Disney’s theme parks. Inexplicably. Last year, there was even a pitiful ad trying to convince people that going to Disneyland was perfectly fine as long as you wear a mask. “Welcome home”, you say, Disney? No, I’m staying home! People aren't careful enough! This sounds like several superpreading events waiting to happen. 

But it doesn’t make a difference for me, seeing as I’ve never been to a Disney park, nor do I know if I ever will. I don't have the budget; if I do have children someday, maybe I’ll try to save up to give them this experience I never had as a kid. In the meantime, I could watch videos taken before 2020 of people going to the parks… or I could play Disneyland Adventures. 

The recreation is accurate.

This game, developed by Frontier Developments and Asobo Studio, was originally published by Xbox Game Studios on November 15th, 2011… for the Xbox 360 Kinect. This game was one of a kind, really. I say that, as it was the only attempt ever made at an “open world” of sorts on the heavy motion control-only platform the Kinect was. Kids could now “visit” Disneyland (Anaheim, California) and interact with Disney’s most famous characters in the comfort of their own home! But I am not reviewing that version of the game… 

Disneyland Adventures was later re-released with new controls for PC on September 14th, 2018, on Steam and as discs, with all Kinect-based controls changed for PC compatibility. This is the one I'll cover today. I know this is a game aimed at kids, and I’m not the target demographic. But if it exists, it can be criticized! And you bet I will.

Positive: The diversity option are included.
Negative: Only one Black, only one Asian.
Granted, there just are four faces total...

The game starts with a panning shot, a flight across Main Street, USA, and then we meet Mickey in front of the iconic castle leading to Fantasyland. The game of course begins with the creation of your avatar, a child (obviously). That’s fair, like I said, this game is for kids. The player selects a gender, then a face, a hairstyle, and then clothes, but the options are lacking – only four faces (two of which are diversity options, so I can at least praise the game for that), very few hairstyles, also few clothes (but that last one isn’t too bad since you can play dress-up later). Look, I get it, this character will be doing all kinds of gestures so they want to save on models. I also know this game first came out in 2011. But still... 

Real-Life Mascots Are Already Kinda Creepy, But These...

...can anyone explain this to me?

Kid, what's WRONG with your FACE?

That mouth is distorted like the Joker put a knife to it! This is not normal, this is freaky! I imagine this is only the first of many creepy things we’ll have here. Now, the second thing. Who says “Disney parks” says “Disney mascots”, and we all have in mind the image of people in costumes, playing their character to the best of their abilities. Here? You’re meeting the real deal, every time. The real Mickey – and he’s taller than you! Donald Duck quacking a foot from your face with his very real beak and his bare duck ass on display! Chip and Dale are actual giant chipmunks! Goofy has… 

There is no humanity behind those eyes.

…Goofy! What have they done to your eyes?!? It doesn’t look like two separate eyes, it looks like one big white mass with two dots where eyes are supposed to be! Those eyebrows rarely ever go down, either! Kingdom Hearts did this right, Disneyland Adventures didn’t.

Donald, you're too tall.
That's not normal.

I can understand why Frontier Developments went for the "Mascots are the actual characters" idea, but it leads to so many weird scenarios! I bet kids playing the game won’t mind so much, but as an adult, all I see is these characters, often with different art styles, coexisting with real humans and it’s creepy! The Princesses, as an example, look just like their animated counterparts, in a style that clashes with that of the park visitors and the protagonist themselves. The protagonist also looks very strange.

Kid, stop smiling like that, you’re scaring everyone.

To be fair, this is pretty much the problem at its worst.
It always happens in this sector of Fantasyland.
Other places aren't as bad, but it can happen there as well.

And now, the cherry on the sundae: Frame rate drops and object load failures. There’s a lot of moving parts to the game, with each area of the park packed with guests walking around. Of course, not as many as we’d see in Disneyland IRL; it wouldn’t be possible. But still enough to feel like the park’s full, and that’s still a lot of CGI people to render. I don’t have the highest-end computer and I know it (actually, I’m due for an upgrade), but I can still run most games. This one originally took my machine to its limit, and that’s at the lowest graphical settings! It causes very important drops in frame rate. What’s more, rendered elements in the distance will flash in and out of existence. It’s like the game is having a stroke! Oh, and animations are slowed down as a result; Mickey’s sound line ends and his mouth is still moving 5 seconds later! The worst part is that several objects around the park have their own animations, which trigger when using particular items on them; I imagine that's more data that needs to be loaded every single time, which would further explain why the game is struggling to keep everything around. And of course, it makes the loading times excruciatingly long.

Interacting With The Mascots

The discussion with Mickey sets up a number of things, the first being that the avatar can interact with the mascots scattered around the park. This is where we see that, yes, this game was originally made for Kinect; the motion-based controls are swapped for buttons. They indicated which action the kid had to do in front of their TV screen in the original version. You interact with a character by waving at them while in their vicinity. To the game’s credit, every mascot in the park has a different animation for each of the four actions that can be done afterwards.

"Come on, kid! Dance along!"

-High-five/handshake (Raise hand/1 on numpad): Characters react differently to this one, but they usually give a high-five back, offer polite handshake, or do something more on top of it. 

-Dance (Bow/2): A dance sequence will begin between the mascot and the character. Those can be quite complex.

-Autograph (Hold hands forward or yell “AUTOGRAPH”/3): You can ask that character to sign the autograph book… provided you own the book that can contain their signature. 

-Hug (Open arms/4): The kid will hug the mascot. There again, some interactions can be funny, like seeing manly or evil characters (such as Captain Hook) reluctantly accepting it or opting for something else like a patting the kid’s head.

Hook is probably worried he might disfigure a kid
accidentally with his hook with so many witnesses around.

Aside from the autograph part, none of this is mandatory – but for the target demographic, it’s a lot of fun to watch, so even though it’s not actually needed, I would cycle through all four with each mascot I encountered, just to see how the animations for each.

He looks so happy to sign, too.

Speaking of, the autographs are the second element introduced in the child’s talk with Mickey. The mouse hands over an autograph book, and asks the kid to get Donald’s autograph. See, the two are campaigning against each other to be elected Mayor of Toontown and… You know what? I’m Team Mickey on this one. Go Mickey, I’m voting for ya. Not to discriminate on names, but all Donalds should steer clear of anything even remotely resembling politics for at least the next century.

I had a lot of options and I went for the mildest joke I could think of, be happy I didn’t go all-out.

He's just trying to help...
...By being horribly annoying
about everything.

Thanks to this mission, you also get your in-game helper. Your Navi, your Omochao, your Rotom-Dex, your Slippy Toad. A little anthropomorphic Golden Ticket who will tell you everything you can do around the park, who to talk to, whenever an NPC has something for you… Once again, it’s a game for kids, so I can understand the desire to help them, especially with so much content and so many items to interact with around this world. The upside is that he will helpfully set an adventure trail for your character to follow, taking you directly to the person you must talk to, or to the next item to pick up in the 37th collection quest you’re going through. The downside is that, as an adult playing the game, this little guy’s constant interruptions and commentary are annoying as all Dickens. Especially because he will remind you, every minute or so, about the quest you're doing. “Hey! [Blank] needs your help!” Ticket, if you don't shut up, I'm using my lighter on you.

Last but not least, this mission introduces the young player to collectibles, by opening the autograph side-quest. There are TONS of side-quests in this game, to the point where I could genuinely believe that there’s upwards of 100 hours of gameplay to be had here for completionists between all of the quests, side-quests, mini-games and various other discoveries. Credit where credit is due. And on top of that, out of all the side-quests here, collecting every mascot’s autograph isn’t that difficult. Walk up, wave, say hello, ask for a signature. Easy peasy! …But.

There’s always a “…But”.

Buy! Buy! Buy! Buuuuyyyy!!!

I like the details here, from the heart on Alice's I, the hat-
shaped H for the Mad Hatter, the Queen signing with a
heart-shaped Q, or the White Rabbit's W looking like the
one on the real Walt Disney's signature.

For some inexplicable reason, the book given to you by Mickey can only be filled with the autographs of six characters. Every other autograph book must be purchased in the stores around the map, with each containing four to eight pages for autographs. You can’t ask for a mascot’s John Hancock unless you own the autograph book(s) required for it! Some characters’ signatures appear in more than one book, and will auto-fill if you’ve made them sign another book already (As an example, the Queen of Hearts appears in both the Alice in Wonderland and Villains books). In all fairness, buying the books isn’t too difficult because there’s money literally everywhere. It’s also fun to look at the autographs gathered, with each character adding their own personality to the way they sign. Calligraphy experts would have a field day here. But the system feels complicated for no reason other than to force the child to play around, collect money and buy the books one by one. 

Hey, if there’s one thing Disney loves, it sure is capitalism! Why get a single big item when you can buy several smaller items for an inflated price? 

Oh yeah, let’s talk about the shops in the game. There’s one shop in each sector of the park (Main Street USA, Fantasyland, Adventureland, Frontierland, Critter Country, New Orleans Square, Mickey’s Toontown, Tomorrowland). Each store is split in four sections. 

-Autograph Books: Self-explanatory; 

-Clothes: Regular clothes to customize your character’s clothing (shirts, pants and hats). Then, there’s full-body costumes referencing Disney properties, some of which are unlocked during quests you pursue for mascots around the park; 

-Merchandise: Collectible pins with prices ranging from 2,500 to 10,000 coins. Also, on rare occasions, items that are requested by mascots; 

-Photo Albums: Eventually, you get your hands on a picture camera. However, in order to see the pictures you take, you need the associated albums to sort them in. Each area of the park has its picture books: A Discovery Album for notable landmarks, a Photo Pass for pictures of interesting details, and a third one for the Hidden Mickeys you can find, with almost a hundred scattered around. Last but not least, you can also take snapshots of the mascots around the park. 

At least they're not wishing me a
magical Disney day.

There’s a thing that bugs me with the stores, however; after every single purchase, the shopkeeper will have a little comment. “What a wonderful sense of style you have!” “It seems like you really knew what you wanted.” “You made a great decision!” “You’ve got wonderful taste!” There’s a fairly limited number of lines the shopkeepers have, and it gets grating rather fast to hear them comment after each thing you buy – and sometimes it doesn’t even make sense, like getting the “sense of style” line for buying a photo album. If they had kept it to once every two purchases, it wouldn’t bother me as much, but no – every. Single. Purchase. It starts to feel like the game is talking down to the kids it’s trying to entertain, and that’s never a good look. Positive reinforcement can only last so long until it starts to feel disingenuous. 

Woody sure likes to pose for the camera.
He's always been a bit poseable after all.

And since I’ve brought up the topic of photo albums: That picture side-quest is one of my favorite elements of the game. I can already imagine I’d be going around snapping pictures of everything in sight if I went to Disneyland in person, so this appeals to me. I’m annoyed that the player needs to buy the associated albums, in every single area of the park, so that their pictures appear in the collection… but considering they'll be collecting coins in the six digits by running around and completing quests, it’s at least somewhat tolerable. They'll also receive additional photo albums through quests given by NPCs, and they'll be tasked with filling those up as well. 

Wow, I said all this already? And I’m barely halfway through? Guess I’ll need a Part 2. Tune in on Monday.