Quick Review: Flight of the Paladin

Quick, kill that gargoyle before it turns to stone.

A creation of Grizzly Wolf Games LLC, Flight of the Paladin was released on October 23rd, 2015. The concept is simple: A knight on horseback on a quest to kill Count Dracula. Only problem, he’s stuck on a straight path with trees and walls in the way. And there are enemies all over the place. Oh, and his horse’s brakes have been cut.

This almost feels like a shmup; the horse never stops galloping, and you control the horse going left, right, up and down; hitting an obstacle is an instant game over. The Paladin has two attacks: A shot that goes forward, and a circular attack around himself that takes a moment to charge. Neither attack can hit all targets. The Paladin has no further protection. HP? Sure, he’s got some, but I never figured out how much. The video I recorded of my playthrough doesn't even show a health bar.

And yes, there are bosses. And regular enemies don't
stop coming while you fight them.

The enemies? Oh, that’s pleasant. The witch that flies from the left; the gargoyle that flies from the right and turns into an indestructible, but still harmful, stone if it crosses the Paladin vertically. Swarms of bats. Hands coming out of the ground, which can only be hurt by the circular attack. The worst of them all? Wolves that come from behind to bite the Paladin – and since you cannot aim backwards, they can only be hurt by the circular attack. Fuck, since you must keep an eye on the trees and walls (whose waves seem to be randomized), you’ll always be at the bottom of the screen, sometimes you can’t see these fucking wolves coming, sometimes you won’t know they’re there until they hurt you. No warning signs, no indicators, nothing! That’s very bad game design.

Yeah, I fucking hate those wolves.

The campaign mode only has three levels, with a boss at the end of each, but that’s not too bad for the first two. The last one is Dracula, the wolves and walls still appear, and the vampire tosses swarms of bats! Yeah, nope. Game, I flip you the bird. Want worse? The even harder Survival Mode, in which you must try to beat the whole game in one sitting without dying.

I hate this Dracula, but I hate these fucking walls even more.

That’s all there is to this one, really. Graphics are pretty bland, and the game uses four public domain classical tracks that are very commonly associated to horror and chaos. If you’ve never heard of Johann Sebastian Bach’s Toccata and Fugue, just look it up – you’ve heard it, trust me. Same for Edvard Grieg’s In The Hall of the Mountain King. Nice choices, but the soundtrack gets old quick with only four tracks. The gameplay is annoying, but the difficulty is just right for the first two levels of the campaign. Third one, I can’t even finish. Of course, perhaps it would help if we had indications of incoming enemies from the bottom of the screen or, for Christ's sake, a health bar somewhere!

I don’t recommend it. It's really bad. But hey, if you do want it, it’s over on Steam for 1.99$.