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June 26, 2026

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 5)

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5

Finishing this today. Bring out the swear jar, I’m gonna need it.

The World That Never Was – Riku (Continued)

Uh oh.

Pretty much every boss in this part of the game has a move
that takes us down to 1 HP. Fuckers.
Riku has found Sora trapped in an energy sphere, sleeping, and being consumed by darkness. Out of Sora’s body forms a cloaked figure with red eyes. This thing, called the Anti Black Coat Nightmare, is a tough boss, and it’s a sign of what I should expect for the rest of the game. We’re almost at the end. That said, my first fight against this guy, and realizing just how difficult it was, encouraged me to go back and train some more. Not a fan of grinding, but I will if I must. I overcame this first challenge, the first of four final bosses.

I hope you haven’t forgotten to level up Riku; it’s only him for all four battles. Who cares about Sora, whom you’ve been playing for literally his own half of the game so far?

How long have these cutscenes been going on? I just want
to mash my Keyblade in his smug face already!
Anti Black Coat disappears, and Riku tries to get through to Sora, the same words heard in the dream. To no avail. Riku hears Terra-Xehanort’s Heartless, Ansem, saying that Sora’s heart belongs to the darkness now. When the villain asks why Riku hasn’t returned to the real world, the teen understands: He’s been in Sora’s dreams the whole time. His shirt bears the mark of a Dream Eater, because he has basically become one. When he saw the hooded figure at the start of the Exam, he subconsciously landed into Sora’s dreams to protect him. Darkness appears under Riku’s feet and he is sucked in.

I watch the playthroughs from other people and realize, if
I was struggling that bad... was it just because I was
underleveled and didn't know? Could be, considering how
often I went back to level-grind between attempts against
all these bosses...
He reappears floating in a void, facing Ansem. The villain tries to get Riku to accept the darkness again, but the teen’s resolve is to fight it and its users. Stage 1 starts in the void, with Riku attacking the boss whenever possible, just waiting on a chance to do a Reality Shift. That move transfers the fight to solid ground, where Dream Eaters can help; Ansem fights using his Guardian, which can shield him from frontal damage (but leaves his back open).

His second phase is worse. Ansem merges with his Guardian, and that’s what we fight. This asshole loves to push you to the far end of the arena, and then load up lasers that hit fast and mini-black holes that you can get sucked into when going in for an attack, leaving you at 1 HP. This guy was, up to that point, the most unpleasant fight I’ve had in that damn game.

Those goddamned lasers. If you aren't already moving fast,
you are getting hit. The only way around is Flowmotion.

June 22, 2026

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 4)

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5

The last few chapters! And we’re starting with the kingdom based on Fantasia!

Symphony of Sorcery – Sora

To think that the "sorcerer" from this short ended up being
one of the most important characters in the entire KH
franchise. That name, though... Yen Sid... Subtle.
Fantasia is a collection of shorts animated over classical music; the way this gets combined into a KH world is by having The Sorcerer’s Apprentice as its core, from which other shorts can be magically accessed. We even get scenes from Mickey’s short remade in 3D! Sora lands in Mickey’s dream of being a great sorcerer manipulating comets; however, he gets kicked out of it by the Spellican, the Nightmare we’ve been chasing. Sora comes out of the dream in Yen Sid’s office… or so it seems. Mickey in the sorcerer’s chair, wearing the sorcerer’s magical hat, and waving around as if casting an endless spell under a trance, says otherwise.

These worlds have dragons now. Or is it T-rexes?
Mickey has been trapped into this predicament by the Spellican. The mouse can only be saved by Sora going into a musical world and picking up a Sound Idea. The place he lands on is based on the short scored with Beethoven’s The Pastoral Symphony. The Reality Shift in these musical worlds triggers a mini-game in which you play along to the music using the touch screen, dragging notes across the screen or tapping them at specific moments.

At this point, enemies are getting annoying. So much of this game is walk forward, beat up a crowd of enemies, repeat. Said enemies have far more HP than before, on top of using more spells and status effects. Nothing quite like being affected by a debuff that prevents special moves right as you’re low on health. Or getting sniped from afar while you’re waiting on said debuff to go away so you can heal.

I can't wait to beat this guy to a pulp. There is just an aura
around this guy, something I know I won't like.
Not much happens on the path to the Sound Idea. However, when Sora reaches it, he encounters the mysterious figure (MF) again. The opponent takes a moment to appreciate the beautiful world they’re in, before adding that he isn’t part of the dreams that are part of the Mark of Mastery. But, that if Sora remains asleep, then their paths will cross soon… After getting the Idea, Sora reappears in the Tower, where his trinket alone isn’t enough to rescue Mickey; but he knows he can trust Riku to do his part. Sure enough, the second Sound Idea appears and undoes the spell. With that achieved, Sora is ready to enter the final cursed spellbook.

June 21, 2026

Movie Review: Toy Story 5


(Once again, I tried to write this with the fewest spoilers possible, but some may have slipped through – read at your own risk!)

I don’t think we realize just how spoiled we’ve been by Pixar. Even if the company has had its ups and downs, as well as its controversies (looking at you, Lasseter), their output has still been, for the most part, stellar. Roughly three of their films out of four have racked up aggregator scores of 90% of higher. We expect Pixar to be a seal of quality, and as a result we tend to put that studio specifically to an even higher standard than the others. Almost to an obsessive degree; I swear there are people who take delight hearing about the cinematic missteps the studio has had, and knocking them down a peg.

And that’s… not great? I wouldn’t call that a healthy way to look at media, anyway. In the grand scheme of things, Pixar movies usually do things so well that we are often left with mostly minor critiques, aside from the occasional greater problem (and even then, it’s usually in regards to the story). When they release real clunkers, we remember them, because we know just how high their usual level of quality is. I know Toy Story 4 has its detractors, and it does have its issues, especially regarding character development and its conclusion. But it’s still a good movie. It’s not “The worst thing I have ever seen, oh my God!” …If you say that about any Pixar film, go watch The Emoji Movie and then come back. You clearly need some new perspectives. No, go, I insist. Only by suffering through torture do you get to truly enjoy the good in life.

That attitude seemed to permeate the entire existence of Toy Story 5, directed by Andrew Stanton and released to theaters on June 19th, 2026. It began at its first announcement (“Oh great, they’re beating the dead horse again”) and continued through other reveals that soured opinions quickly. “What do you mean, Woody is back with the toys??” Or: “Oh, so it’s Toys vs. Technology? Really?” Which was followed in one of two ways: Either, “What business do Disney and Pixar have to lecture us about tech, especially after Disney’s (now-defunct, thank God) AI deal?” or “They’re gonna say the toys are the only good ones and it’s gonna be 100 minutes of old men yelling at clouds.”

Sigh. All ye of little faith, I say, hypocritically. See, I, too, was fully prepared to have those exact thoughts. Until I remembered Coco, Soul, Elemental, Inside Out 2, Elio and Hoppers.

The story

The gang of toys has been adapting nicely to living with Bonnie (Scarlett Spears), without Woody (Tom Hanks). The little girl has promoted Jessie (Joan Cusack) to sheriff, and the cowgirl has been taking her role as leader of the toys seriously, taking Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) as her second-in-command. Buzz is still in love with Jessie but has been incapable of asking her to officialize this. (Even Bonnie’s wedding-themed playtimes don’t seem to help him with finally spitting it out.)

Bonnie is a very shy kid, and she struggles to make friends with other children in the neighborhood. It doesn’t help that most kids in the area have already fallen to the great threat of… *gasp* Technology! Staying in their houses all day staring at screens! Bonnie’s parents come to a similar conclusion; to make friends, perhaps their daughter needs a tablet of her own. The LilyPad (Greta Lee) arrives in the household shortly afterwards.

June 19, 2026

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 3)

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5

Will my headache continue? We’ll find out soon enough!

The Grid – Sora

New armor? But I don't feel any more protected.

It’s still bizarre to me that KH has worlds inspired by live-action properties like Pirates of the Caribbean… or TRON. I’ve always been wondering: Does it or its sequel, TRON: Legacy, count as video game movies? Or just “computing” movies in general? (Either way, don’t count on me to review TRON: Ares!)

Apparently, the "dream" version is the real Grid. Just an
excuse to justify the actors of TRON: Legacy being here
and not met the first time Sora visited Space Paranoids.
Sora appears in the Grid wearing the armor of a Program. He spots a Recognizer (a large ship) and gives chase. The programs that come out ask him to identify himself, but when they don’t recognize his name, they treat him as a threat and attack. After Sora dispatches them, he runs into a masked program that flees after gathering data about the boy and his Keyblade. Three characters were watching this encounter: Kevin Flynn, his son Sam, and friendly program Quorra. All are depicted with far less cartoony CGI than any others, which is… so weird, next to the spiky-haired, anime-faced Sora. But, for true KH fans, this is nothing new.

The three explain that the program Sora was fighting is named Rinzler; but it is actually Tron, who has been corrupted by CLU, Flynn’s hacking program, who has become the Grid’s dictator. Kevin and Sam are trying to escape to the real world, but Sora believes he must save Tron. Kevin indicates that the only way to do so would be to recover Tron’s source code, which is protected by CLU. Quorra decides to help Sora. We won’t see the Flynns again on this side.

Programs CAN develop hearts, but I doubt CLU could.
Not with his intentions. No Keyblade for you, mister!

Meanwhile, Rinzler warns CLU about Sora’s presence; the dictator is intrigued by the Keyblade…

June 15, 2026

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 2)

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5

Three new worlds to explore! We’d better pick wisely.

I’ll be covering each world all at once, because it’s simpler – but with the option of three different worlds to explore, you can indeed have each character explore a different world, and not see both sides of the plot in one world in one go. As an example, you could have Sora visit The Grid while Riku is on Prankster’s Island. But first…


La Cité des Cloches – Sora

Quasi, this elephant isn't friendly!

I can’t wait to see how Kingdom Hearts is gonna dance around anything tangentially related to Christianity in this world inspired by The Hunchback of Notre-Dame! I have a hunch they’ll play safe and not have Frollo be anywhere as creepy. That moment in the film of him sniffing Esmeralda’s hair makes my skin crawl. As it should!

I didn't know the Feast of Fools involved rhinos!
Sora meets Judge Claude Frollo, who immediately believes the boy to be a “g---y” due to his odd clothing for the area. I know this word has become a slur in recent times, hence the censoring – I’m hinting to it this one time because the word is important to the story of Hunchback, but I’ll avoid it from this point on. Before Frollo can attempt to inflict justice, he is informed by Phoebus that monsters have invaded the square. Sora rushes there to find Quasimodo on the back of a Nightmare elephant, celebrating as if he had been crowned King of the Feast of Fools. Here? Without a crowd? Huh. Esmeralda comes to help Quasi and they flee into the cathedral while Sora deals with the monsters.

Oh, there’s something about Frollo being consumed by his own rage and racism, and getting covered by an aura of darkness, too.

Geez, they've even infiltrated the cathedral!

June 12, 2026

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (Part 1)


Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5

For the record, I have been working on this review for a month and a half, so it is entirely coincidental that I am publishing this on the exact week where the proper teaser trailer for Kingdom Hearts IV was released. Hey, timing did its thing again!

It's funny how quickly you get accustomed to the mix of
American animated animal characters with humans that
have a clear anime feel to their designs.
You’ve seen that title, so you know what’s coming. If there’s one thing the Kingdom Hearts franchise is known for, it is its interconnected story told over… oh, with the number of remakes and new games retelling events of past games, I’ve sincerely lost count. This story is harder to untangle than a Gordian knot. Especially if you haven’t been following the franchise closely, or missed an episode or five, which is bound to happen due to its entries being scattered across several consoles! And they’re usually action RPGs, so they tend to be story-heavy.

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance, developed and published by Square Enix, was released for the Nintendo 3DS on July 31st, 2012 in North America. Before this one, the only other KH game I’ve played (and reviewed) is Re:coded on the Nintendo DS. Well, I was glad to see that today’s game is a direct continuation of that one! It is also, according to sources, the last game in the chronology before KH III. Thus, it ties up a few loose ends in preparation. Then again, I’d bet that KH3D creates more unanswered questions on its own; that’s how it goes.


Again: I’m jumping in with very little frame of reference. Everything I know is from Re:coded, and the biggest plot point that game showed was that even non-living entities, like characters made of code, were still capable of becoming real Keyblade wielders, all it took was displaying heart and heroism. That game on the Nintendo DS also went over some of the events of the first Kingdom Hearts game, which helps but still leaves me with large gaps in knowledge. Bear with me, especially if you’re far better acquainted with this franchise than I am.

The Exam

Full disclaimer: Since you might not want low-quality images
for the cutscenes (and there are many of those), I will be
picking these off a playthrough of the 2.8 Final Chapter
Prologue version of the game. Big thanks to
SevuhnElevuhn for the longplay video. Check it out here!
The first scene takes place at a villainous lair, ten years prior. Some guy (named… Braid, I think?) is asking the POV character, whom he calls Xehanort, whether he recovered his memories, or never ever lost them. The POV character summons a dark blade, stabs Braid with it, and says his name is Ansem.

I don't even know if that will make sense after playing this game. For the record, Ansem here is Terra-Xehanort, which is Xehanort, possessing the body of a guy named Terra. This is the first minute and I already had to explain some lore, for Pete’s sake!

June 8, 2026

New Pokémon Snap (Part 2)

In Part 1, I covered a part of the plot and went over many of the game’s features. Well, there’s more to say today!

Fantastic Photo Features

Yes, Corsola! Get to the apple!

This new Snap game takes full advantage of the abilities of the current consoles, and takes cues from all the ways people have gained to edit their own pictures on smartphones. The photo edit feature is accessible from the Photodex in the Lab.

Cel-shaded is great. I would play a cel-shaded Pokémon game.
First is filters; at time of writing, I had found 15 out of 20, from classic black-and-white and sepia to greater changes like cel-shaded, a comic style, a fish-eye lens, or pixelated. Second is stickers, which can be added to the picture: Symbols, facial expressions, effects and speech bubbles. Finally, special frames can be added for extra flair. Filters, stickers and frames are unlocked through gameplay, by earning research titles and by completing pages of the Photodex.

Still not enough? You can use this menu to add your own caption to the picture, upload it online to your New Pokémon Snap page, or download it to your console’s photo album, if you like it enough for that.

Most of these settings make changes so minute that only a
photographer with real experience would be able to tell.
The biggest exception is the brightness, of course.
Another feature added is the Re-Snap, which you can access after your run through a course has been scored by Mirror. You can take any of your pictures (doesn’t need to be one that the Professor scored this round), re-frame it, and change the brightness, blur, focus size, or focal point; you can even put new filters or change the caption! However, since this can only happen after the scoring’s been done, it doesn’t really matter. It’s just a pleasant extra that allows you to do the perfect shot out of a photo that wasn’t perfect to start with. It’s not pointless, but if you’re playing for scores and exploration and not for the creativity aspect, it won’t be what you’ll gravitate to.

June 5, 2026

New Pokémon Snap (Part 1)


Through the years, I’ve seen a lot of franchises attempt ideas outside of their usual perimeters – as a result, I’ve seen both crashes and burns, and massive, unexpected successes. I don’t think it’s any surprise to say that Pokémon Snap is in the latter category. Released on July 26th, 1999, the Nintendo 64 game featured Todd Snap, a young photographer tasked by Professor Oak with taking pictures of all 63 Pokémon species found on an island.

For a franchise still in its early days, this came out of left field! The game, while short, had everything going for itself. It tickled that desire for gamers to hunt for better scores. It had unlockable tools and mechanics to get different reactions from the photography subjects. And there were plenty of secrets that could be found by just trying things and seeing what happens.

Catching the three 'puff on film is fun. Pissing
them off by playing the flute is even better.

This idea took a long time to return, which always felt odd to me; just make one at every Generation, add new Pokémon and locations, and that should be it, right? Imagine the possibilities! And yet, despite many attempts, several plans for a second Snap game didn’t make it far. Photography didn’t truly return to the franchise till Pokémon Sun/Moon; that side-quest felt like Game Freak testing the grounds. Even though their fans had been asking for this for 17 years by that point! Finally, our prayers were answered, with New Pokémon Snap releasing on April 30th, 2021, on the Nintendo Switch.


With all this time between installments, surely the system has been massively updated, right? Let’s take a look.

Welcome to the Lentil Region

This time, our character is an avatar representing a child. He is greeted on the first island of the Lentil Region by Professor Mirror and his assistant Rita. They direct the Laboratory of Ecological and Natural Sciences, or L.E.N.S., on Florio Island.

A Prof in Pokémon without a tree name? That's rare!
Also, neat pun for the name of the laboratory!
P.S. These screenshots come from the playthrough by
MunchingOrange
. Go check it out!

May 29, 2026

Exploring the Itch.io Collection #6

I am slowly working through the collection! I don’t know how long this will take me, but I’ll keep progressing!

Many games here today, some from the previous article, and
some from the next.

Experiences

Grievance: Less a game than a short interactive story. It’s black text on a white background, there is no music, and your occasional input is to choose where the plot goes or what some characters say, though I assume these do not make a ton of difference in the end. This tells the tale of three characters. A farmer, a guardsman, and a princess, all of whom have their lives impacted by a meeting with the king of the land. The store page describes this tale as a fable about power, how it corrupts those who have it, and how it damages those who don’t. No happy endings here, that’s by design.

You might see why I didn't want that pic to be the one
everyone would see when I was posting my link to this review.
A completely normal dating simulator that is definitely completely sweet, innocent and normal: Yes, that’s the title. This is… a parody of dating sims. All the characters are one-dimensional, the art is stick figures over child-level drawings, the music is just someone singing to themselves, the plot is absurd nonsense, only one minor character (an author avatar/cameo) has all their lines properly voiced, and the text is packed with spelling mistakes. And… I’m sure this is on purpose. Like some dadaist thing. I kept expecting it to take a hard swerve into a different direction, like DDLC, but nope. It’s more annoying than anything else, to be honest. Good for maybe a few laughs, though, if you can tolerate what it’s going for.

The kids have got to leave the nest at some point!
One-Eyed Lee: Prologue: A young elf wants to escape from his wheat-farming family and see the world; but all his attempts were thwarted by his parents, his two brothers, and his sister. One night, at last, he makes it out of the wheat field, only to find a shadowy creature that grants him a worrisome, yet freeing, superpower… This visual novel has no decisions to make, and is just a story you can follow at your leisure. Not much of a game, but it IS intended as a prologue; its creator DarkChibiShadow only released one full chapter for this series yet, which I’ve also received in the Itch.io bundles I purchased. Someday, I’ll get to it! In the meantime, I could enjoy the good art, nice music, and character complexity shown in this short product.

Social Reach

Yup. It's like I said. Every single line pulled right out of the
transphobe's playbook. This game may awaken sad memories
for those who did go through this sort of thing with their own
families.
Boa Retina: A game by Jennifer Raye about someone experiencing gender uncertainty and finally confronting “the family” (represented by a winged monster eye) about her discovered trans identity. The eye will run through the whole transphobic script, starting at utilitarian excuses (“You’ll have a harder time finding work”) before moving on to emotional/physical abuse. To say nothing of the protagonist doubting her choice. You go through four documents re-exploring the protagonist’s self-discovery, hoping to find better arguments and defend this life-changing decision, without luck. I’m as cis male as they get; I will never live this. Thus, I could only guess that transition is tough for any person that has a family that would react like the monster eye. Seeing it firsthand through this game, however short, gives an unmistakable impression of just how mentally taxing making that choice, and especially coming forward about it, can be in some families. Something tells me that it is inspired by Raye’s real-life experiences, and as a result, it portrays this reality with eye-opening brutality.

I use the "Social Reach" part of these articles to showcase
games that treat important social issues in some way. And
islamophobia, even portrayed through allegory, counts
as a great social problem.
Devtheism: This game was created on RPG Maker. Its meta setting presents the tale of someone who is mocked for their belief in “Developers”, which clashes with the beliefs of other NPCs in an “Engine” that created everyone. After being mocked once again over it (“Your kind blows up people that disagree with them! Your kind can’t take a joke when we picture what you believe in!”), the main character sets out on a quest to prove the existence of Developers… or, perhaps, they will find a life truth: That what one believes in shouldn’t matter, what should matter is how good each person is. It is unfortunate how easily you can guess this game’s developer’s faith based entirely on the insults their main character receives; goes to show, those stereotypes are unfortunately still far too widespread. This is an allegory for religious persecution, so the topic is heavy; but the tone is lighthearted overall. And very metafictional.

Social Justice Warriors: The title is explained on the game’s page. Attacking, ridiculing and silencing each other online with terms like SJW or troll “not only fails to achieve progress but has an additional effect of escalating the conflict and wearing you down in the process”. Pick a class (which gets given traits pertaining to a specific online community), then battle against increasingly difficult “trolls” that use hateful rhetoric. Keep a close eye on your levels of patience and reputation; enemies have those too, and to defeat a troll, you must deplete either one. No patience means they give up, no reputation means their reach is destroyed. The same applies to your character, and casting your “spells” often costs patience or reputation. Clever and hilarious concept, with a fair bit of challenge to be found, especially late in the game when your stats have been lowered through many tough battles and it becomes a struggle for survival. Hey, you can raise an important point about society and still be funny about it!

Plain Games

So, I guess this is in the future, because shape sorter
toys cannot be that old- ... ....right?
(Not Escape Room): In this visual novel, three women have been trapped in what they assume is an escape room game by an AI. It is meant to be an inescapable trap for them to stay in forever. The three friends still treat it as solvable, and you, as the AI, will attempt to sow division to increase tensions. You select some of the ways in which the “escape room” game goes, to make the puzzles impossible to solve. Can you really keep these three trapped? (Probably not.) Fun little game; the characters are enjoyable, though there aren’t many choices to see how you could break their friendship. I assume there are multiple endings.

Of course my first pick was the dog. It's easy mode.
Not that there's much difficulty to be found here.
Eternia: Pet Whisperer: In this visual novel, your character is looking to adopt a pet to liven up their empty apartment. The shelter they visit has six pets… and they all talk! You can some time with them every day, and then adopt them. You are even given the option to time travel in order to adopt all of them! Or you can end at just one pet, too. Either way, this is a no-stress game, you can let the story play out. You can tell the Hatoful Boyfriend inspiration here. It’s pretty good and the art is neat, though since the choices are never too difficult, it’s very much an “autopilot” kind of game where you can just be in for the ride, without having to do much in the way of input outside of choosing which pet to focus on during each loop.

The gate is open! Quick, go through!
Eves Drop: An arcade-like game in which you control a hacker’s digital self, breaking through many barriers of a Big Brother-esque program on the eve of the new millennium. The digital self freefalls through a corridor. You can float towards any sphere using WASD, spin it around with A and D to aim, and then shoot by holding down and then releasing the sphere with S. The goal is to shoot spheres to destroy the gate to the next level, and then float down and pass through. Careful, though; enemies get increasingly frequent and dangerous the deeper you go. Tricky game to figure out and play at first, but I reached the end on my fourth attempt. It’s an energetic game for an interesting idea.

I'll be right back to you, just gotta stuff the pot
with ALL the fod I can fit in it. Don't worry,
I will catch up on our conversation in a sec!
Hot Pot Panic: Your friend is in town, so you go to an all-you-can-eat hot pot restaurant to chat over what’s new in your lives. The goal is to cook your food in the pot, eat it, and end on a full stomach before you run out of conversation topics. You must keep track of what your friend says, because she’ll ask for your input. And you must keep track of how your food cooks, because it’s only good to eat for a short window of time where it shines gold in the pot! You can lose either by not having a full stomach after running out of topics, or your friend figuring out, due to repeated wrong responses or staring at the pot too much, that you were more focused on the food than on her. Surprisingly challenging (the timing is tricky), and a great way to practice quick reading!

Bit of SUPERHOT in there too, since
enemies move faster when you move.
TRAINBOW: The biggest pain with this one was making it work, as I had to go into its folder and manually open the game with the actual app within the files. In this arcade game, you are Manpuck, the circle on the screen, and you are tasked with taking every flower bulb in each stage and taking it to the exit, one at a time. Careful, though; every picked flower will sprout enemies that will chase Manpuck. However, if you hide behind walls while they’re hunting you, they will eventually selfdestruct. Or you can run over a sprouting enemy to kill it before maturity.

The Primary mode is made of seven tutorial-like stages; their completion unlocks Secondary, made of 40 levels. In that mode, each stage has 8 bulbs, and the more bulbs you’ve collected, the more stages open. Still not enough? There are endless modes as well! It’s a fun little game with more depth than one could expect at first; I didn’t finish it, but I see its worth and challenge.

Took me like 10 minutes to get up that tower of skulls.
This was not the end of the game, it was the second area.
Everything else after it was much easier.
Cardiac: A monochromatic horror game in which you control a writhing mass of flesh that can move around thanks to tendrils. Right-click to extend the tendrils forward, left-click to be pulled in the direction of what they caught. The game begins with moving around through tunnels, then evolves to semi-platforming. The struggle is real. Gameplay is tricky, since you don’t control where your tendrils go, which makes movement difficult – that’s on purpose. The atmosphere is down pat, the music is appropriately tense, and the sound design… euuugh… all that squelching, all that wet sound… Still got chills of disgust.

Waving through the space snakes...
Dragons In Space: Not actual dragons. In this abstract game, you control a ship and must stay alive, destroy enemies, and pick up the escape pods. You gain one star in a level for each task successfully completed (the “stay alive” one is earned by not getting hit at all). Eight levels, with enemies and hazards getting meaner and tougher to face. The ship you play cycles between three weapons, you don’t control which weapon you’re using in a level, and not every weapon is good in every situation (and the worst weapon is automatically selected against the final boss!). The gameplay has its hiccups, it’s not well optimized; but the abstract art style gives it a charm, in a “makes it look like it was drawn by a child” kind of way.

Forget the ghost, I wanna know what's the trouble with that
one jackass in the chat that's crapping over everything that's
happening. Don't we have mods or something?
LiveScream: Visiting a haunted mansion for views, how hard can it be? In this point-and-click, your character enters the mansion in search for supernatural events. You can see the chat commenting your actions as you play. You can solve little puzzles, and push through in the face of adversity. Manage your fear level (if you get too scared to continue, your character runs out screaming!) and your audience interest level (which goes up when interesting stuff happens). The point-and-click aspect is limited, as it only involves investigating across 3 rooms (+ one more, if you can find it) and performing actions (such as pushing forward when something weird is happening). There is no “true” ending, though there’s a wide range of outcomes. It’s got some in-game achievements, too!

Better walk out of this room before I go mad
from the discovery. Yeah.
Remnants: In this point-and-click created in RPG Maker 2003, your nonbinary character in a cool cape is investigating a hidden cave under a dying forest. The deeper they go, the creepier it gets, from abandoned sewers to a secret base and then, downright Eldritch locales. The character can find flashing items and use them to find their way to lower floors. Almost everything they can look at will elicit a comment on their part. This game focuses far more on narrative and setting an ambiance than on difficulty, but that’s to its benefit. Plus, there are many comedic moments from the character’s quips.


Next week: A full-length review!

May 22, 2026

Exploring the Switch's Nintendo Classics #4


Been a while since I last did one of these as well! It took me this long because, in-between reviews of other games, I could hardly find the time to play stuff from the Nintendo Classics service; however, I think I’ve found a system that could help me with that.

Before I start this article, I guess I might take this introduction to explain a thing or two: For starters, all I have is the classic Switch, not the sequel console released in 2025. As a result, while I do try to go through the games available on Nintendo Classics, I do not have access to the GameCube games that were announced for the Switch 2 exclusively. This also extends to whichever games on other consoles require a mouse to play, like Mario Paint. (Not that there are many of those.)

In the same vein, Nintendo began releasing Virtual Boy titles to the service in February 2026. I am very tempted to try these as well, and since many of these are short, they will fit perfectly in articles like the one here. However, I am told that they will work much better with a headset currently on sale. I do think I will be better off playing those games with the necessary equipment! Therefore, I’ll skip these for now and put them on the backburner. It’s not like I’ve got a shortage of Nintendo Classics games to cover anyway!

I was in a bit of a hurry to get this article ready for publication, so instead of waiting to have enough entries from just one console, here you have a pot-pourri of games from almost all the consoles that are part of the service. And just like my other collections, any progress is better than nothing!

Enjoy!

The NES


That is, indeed, baseball.
Baseball: I’m still not done with sport games! This game was one more of the console’s launch titles, and is about as straightforward as can be for an 8bit representation of the sport. Pitcher pitches, batter hits the ball, team on the field hurries to get the ball and throw it while the batter runs around the diamond. I’ll admit that I know little about baseball (most of my gaming experience with baseball is… Mario Super Sluggers). And this game explains very little, so I know the basics of the sport, but I was left to figure out the controls on my own. I did poorly at this one. While I can say there’s a few NES sports games I would come back to, this isn’t one of them. I can still appreciate that its release at the console’s launch helped further boost the NES’s popularity in North America.

May 8, 2026

Exploring the Itch.io Collection #5


It’s been a while since I last did one of these! I figured I would do one to fill in while I make my way through larger games that take longer to finish.

Last month, I spent an entire week re-making the list of games in my collection over on itch.io, because I felt the original was incomplete and I wanted to make it feel right. The result? Well, instead of about 800, I actually have 1269 games to check out. That’s without counting the 80 I covered last year, or the other 26 I already had on Steam and which I have either already played or will play in the future, for a grand total of 1375 games. …I know, that’s a lot. And more than 500 of them don’t have recorded times on HowLongToBeat.

Most of today’s article was written last year. I added to it after every super-short game I played. A few of the ones covered here, though, have been played this past week. I can’t promise to cover 80 games like this once again in 2026, but any progress will be good. Especially with those revised numbers.

As stated in the Index, I have this page where anyone can see the games I have already tested on the platform. You can always go back to it to see how much progress I’ve made in that collection, or which games are coming up in the next article. I still include a link to every game I discuss here, since I am giving visibility to everything I cover in these articles, and you can go check out each one. Even if I didn’t like one of them, you can go check it out for yourself; maybe YOU will enjoy it!

Experiences

Can I at least get a glass of water to help that
block of brick and sand down?
The Indifferent Wonder of an Edible Place: In the fashion of taking a metaphorical image for a real issue and making it literal, in this game you are someone who eats buildings to make them disappear. This is accompanied, and inspired, by a poem from 1960, translated to English in 1983, about the historical erasure done by the state of Bombay. In the game itself, you are told to eat specific numbered pieces of a large tower. If you don’t eat the correct piece, your character gets poisoned and is incapacitated for a moment. You can use the scope with the right-click button to figure out where the next “correct” piece is. Either way, this is history you’re making disappear, with no way to get it back.

If you see a giant green eye under war trenches, I think you
may be suffering from something worse than PTSD.
Please follow: A walking simulator/horror/puzzle combo in which you play a lone soldier venturing into the tunnels dug by the enemies and find… something. Deeper into the tunnel, there are puzzles involving worms, giant leeches, and other supernatural stuff. This short exploration ends with a freaky acid trip. The game’s look is very “early 3D” of video games (think N64 or PS1), the sound design grossed me out the entire way through, and the visuals…. Jesus, that’s freaky. It’s horror alright.

April 24, 2026

Donkey Kong Country Returns


If there’s a Nintendo platforming franchise I’ve seldom discussed, it’s Donkey Kong Country. I’ve only ever played the very first game, on the SNES, and even wrote a quick “Gaming Memories” article about it some time ago. The two sequels? I’ve never played them, though I know they are available among the Nintendo Classics, and so are all the Donkey Kong Land games for Game Boy consoles. DK 64? Also never played, but I heard a lot about it (as well as all the ways that fans improved its system on emulators). Anything else? Well, I could talk about the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, but the plumber has no business stealing the spotlight today.

This series returned on the Wii. Developed by Retro Studios (instead of Rare, obviously) and released on November 21st, 2010 in North America, this entry sees a return to playing with both DK and his buddy Diddy Kong as a new villain rises on their island. Notably, this game had a port for Nintendo 3DS released in 2013, and an HD rerelease for the Switch in January 2025; today, I am covering the Wii game.


Tiki Threat

Oh, that's a big one. Good. It'll just be more satisfying to
break it into pieces at the end.
A normal day on Kong Island is interrupted by the eruption of its volcano. Out of the bubbling lava come large rocks that break, revealing tiki monsters that instantly cool down in the open air. Along with them, a gigantic tiki monster appears from the depths of the volcano. The deity instantly requests a tribute to appease him. The tikis get to work, hypnotizing the island fauna to do their bidding. They direct the animals to steal… what else? Donkey Kong’s banana hoard, of course!